Newspaper Page Text
April 7, 1909. T!
Story Corner
"The late Joel Chandler Harris," said
an Atlanta clergyman, "used to laugh
at the way everybody seemed to want
i frpp flilvprtispnipnt nf rpthp sort frnm
the editor. It was the same, he would
say. with the physician?everybody
wants free advice on the health question
from him.
"I once heard him tell about an editor
who served ten days in jail for
thrashing the mayor. The warden
treated him very kindly, and at the ten
days' end, escorting him to the door
and shaking him by the hand, said:
"'Well, good-bye and good luck, ed.
And say, would you mind giving the
jail a puff?' "
An old darky wanted to join a fash
lonable city church, and the minister,
knowing It was hardly the thing to do
and not wanting to hurt his feelings,
told him to go home and pray over it.
In a few days the darky came back.
"Well, what do you think of it by this
time?" asked the preacher. "Well, sah."
replied the colored man, "Ah prayed ?n"
prayed an' de good Lawd, he says to
me, 'Rastus, Ah wouldn't bodder mah
haid about dat no mo'. Ah've been
tryin' to git into dat chu'ch mahse'f for
de las' twentv veahs and Ah ain't dnnn
had no luck.' "
A young girl once asked Mark Twain If
he liked books for Christmas gifts.
"Well, that depends," drawled the great
humorist. "If a book has a leather
cover, it is really valuable as a razor
strop. If it is a brief, concise work,
such as the French write, it is usefu]
to put under the short leg of a wobbly
. table. An old-fashioned book with a
clasp can't be beat as a missile to burl
at a dog;* and a large book, like a
geograpny, is as goo a as a piece of tin
to nail over a broken pane of glass."
That was an amusing summary of national
traits which Bishop Chavasse, of
Liverpool, England, gave in a speech to
his own people recently. '"The Englishman,"
he said, "loves the Bible and
beer, the Scotsman keeps the Sabbath
and everything else he can lay hands
on, the Welshman prays on his knees
on Sundays and on his neighbors on
week days, and the Irishman never
knows what he wants and is never satisfied
until he gets it." .
Old Gentleman?"Do you mean to say
vnai yuui it'ucnci h never iiiiu.hu you:
Little Gentleman?"Never! We have
moral suasion at- our school."
Old Gentleman?"Wnat's that?"
Little Gentleman?"Oh, we get kep' in
and stood up in corners, and locked out.
and locked in, and made to write one
word one thousand times, and scowled
at, and jawed at, and that's all!"
"In what condition was the Patriarch
Job at the end of his life?" asked a
Sunday school teacher of a quiet-looking
boy at the foot of the class. "De'ad,''
!| calmly replied the quiet-looking boy.
l\
IE PRESBYTERIAN OF THE SOUTH
KM ^ja
1;
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CENTRAL OF GEORGIA RA
Account National Dental Association
tickets will be on sale March 27, 28, 29, and
mingham before 1 p. m., March 30, 1909.
mlngham returning up to and including, h
4, 1909.
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e Cornish Plan
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IS, 1908.
ildent.
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IOH AM. ALA. AMn BCTIIBM
JLWAY COMPANY.
, March 30-April 2, 1909. Excursion
for trains scheduled to arrive BirTickets
will be good to leave Bir?ut
not later than, midnight of April
*
total fares, schedules, sleeping carat.