Newspaper Page Text
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Story Corner
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An Arkansas judge had convened
court in one of the towns on his circuit,
when it was found that ro per 3,
ink or paper had been provided, and
upon inquiry it came out that no
county funds were available for the
purpose.
The judge exclaimed somewhat forcefully,
then drew some money from his
own pocket. He was about to hand it
to the clerk when a visiting lawyer, a
high-priced, imported article brought
on to defend a case of some importance,
spoke up in a voice plainly audible
over the room.
"Well!" with infinite contempt, "I've
seen some pretty bad conditions, but
this?well, this Is the limit."
"You are fined $5 for contempt, sir!"
thundered the judge. "Hand the money
to the clerk."
When the eminent lawyer had humbly
complied, the judge turned to the
dork.
"Now, Mr. Clerk, go out: and get what
penB, ink and paper the court may require,
and If there is any change left
over you may give it to the gentleman."?Selected.
HE CONCLUDED NOT TO TRADE.
Mlssourian from the Ozarks recently
went to the city to see the sights.
He had never been in a big city before.
He walked down the street, looking in
the windows and enjoying himself
hugely. At one place he saw a sign
reading, "Woman's Exchange."
The mountaineer hurried into the
store, which was filled with various
specimens of feminine handicraft.
"Is this the woman's exchange?" be
asked. "It is," answered a very tall,
verv mint and verv RiilnRtarlik a n*r
eon behind the counter.
"Be you the woman?" and he eyed
her keenly.
"I gueBB I am."
"Wall. I guess I'll keep Sal," he said
apologetically, hurrying out.?Spokane
Review.
Fidgety man, getting up and giving
up his car seat to the stout woman who
had been swaying from a strap for four
miles: "Take this seat, ma'am.'"
Stout lady In suspicious tones and
with a strong flavor of sarcasm:
"What's wrong with It?"?Ex.
"You're a saving cuss, Banks.
Have you anything to retire on?"
"Sure! I've got a dandy hair mat
tress!"?Ex.
SHE TItlED TO OBEY.
Eddie Foy, at the Lambs' Club gambol
In New York, told a Panama hat
story.
"A vrmnsr elerk nnf mv- wnv " ho
said, "gave bis girl a present of a
Panama last year. Then, the day be
fore the Fourth, he got a couple o/
compllmentarles for a picnic, clambake
aad corn roast down the river and he
wired the girl:
" 'Meet me at Pier 13 tomorrow
morning at 7. Picnic. Bring Panama.'
"The next morning as he stood on
Pier 13 dreaming dreams of love, Imagining
a long, sweet day of billing and
cooing, he saw his girl advancing with
her father and mother. He was terribly
annoyed and on the hnnt na anon os
he could get her alone he hissed:
"What did you want to bring th<
old folks fort*
"Didn't you tell me to bring them?" *
he replied, and, she showed him tho
telegram, which the operator had made
to read: '
" 'Bring pa and ma'"?Washington
Star.
?
THE PRESBYTERIA
W Dependable Economical d\
Codfish |
I in New and Better Form |
9 Don't bother any linger wi.h over* JR
| salted, unpalatable, unwholesome, dried |jH
a cod, so difficult to digest. Use w
I BurnhamS Morrill I
I Fish Flakes I
10c -two aizet?15c A
Hi Codfish in i'amofl modern, sanitary, convert* kS
JkJ ient ,nd palatable form?cooked fresh from the EKi
n ocea n?miJdJy salted?immediately packed in S
L.2 air-liy^t, parchment-lined container* and ready j
(or insUut use in making delicious FISH HI
?|| CALLS. CREAMED FISH. FISH Ml
H CHOWDER.de.
P Keeps la Any Climate M
HE At grocers everywhere, or mail us 10c and EE
Ort receive a full size 10c package, prepaid.
I'W fFrita { day far FREE BOOK / rttipts by tkt HE
IpK ?d.fr / tkt "Bastom Caakimg Sckfl Alagatimt."
|| BURNIIAM & MORRILL CO. M
Portland, Maine. U.S.A.
mfia
flpssisi
!> 11 tm pwiwtsoa simu wo?s. /
Nat Wolgtit
I BIG QUANTITY?BEST
That's Eagle-Thislle. It comes to y
Ordinary Soda loses strength by
Brand is packed direct from t
sanitary packages, the most e?
household uses. Compare the p
packed and sold by us. You j
sold by dealers everywhere. Ai
WRITE FOR A FRI
I THE MATHIESON ALKAl
Grow 75 or 1(
Corn pe
Your acres that are not nrndue
to yield a great deal more. Careful
tion and the best fertilizers will bi
yields, bring you bigger profits.
Virginia-!
HighFertili
are carefully mixed for the purpose
big yields you should get. They ha
than any other fertilizers. They a
terials that skill can devise and mor
proportioned and carefully mixed int
fertilizers any farmer can use.
How to secure bigger corn yiel<
BOOK. Copy will be sent you free
SALES OFFICES
Richmond, Va. Charleston, S. C.
Norfolk, Va. Baltimore, Md.
Atlanta, Ga. Columbus, Ga.
Savannah, Ga. Montgomery, Ala.
Colombia, S. C. Memphis, Tenn.
Durham, N. C. Shreveport, La.
Alexandria, Va. Winston-Salem, N. C.
. N OF THE SOUTH
Accept This Swell $25 Suit
One Tea,KKKK. WeBtartourswcll-dreiiedaalea
? ropre-ontatlvce out looking right?wa Knd
JJ ^ 'TT r\ our outfit free, nt <mo*. bijrgoitt and bestsam ssoy
V1 "J-plo books.nttractivo fabrics, handsomrrt color
Styles , T. plates, withotir new. rcmnrkablo, e?xry moncyZfr'i
making oCer, your extra sample salt ot.er
as wo'L Swell-dressed. and backed by ua.
a il \ '\f/9lw\ i"OQ cftn tn'^ko biff money shovrinff our
r 1 v jaBBa wpfr or lino of men's suit and overcoat
.rfJl samples-orders come thick, fast and
^ fl^^HSeav. Sparc time or all of it. No money
experienoeneceaaary. Norefcrences
' ?^3 or rod tape. We trust you absolutely.
) YOU CAM MAKE
W^SSP9 Per Day Easy or
V1^$30 to $50 a Week
Vlnji*)!' ^.Jf Other amenta are?yoa eon
? retire . do as well or bet'er. ExelasSAMPLE
SUIT fve territory and special inside whole- Jo
Everything in price so yoa can undersell all competition
Just for yoa, and make frig profit. When your friends
mrc Ta see your suit they win uladlr order thesa
rilLt v'nTi iwelleet, hand-tailored made-to-measure
_ ., _ _ , J? jrarmcnts. They will save U to (5. Suits, 33
TFIT up. Fit,worlrmanship. material guaranteed
" ' I * by bond. Finest for stylo, looks and wear.
WebacF one man this way In each CPMn Nf) MRMFY
locality. Chance of your lifetime OtWU nu MIIRLI
to set swell clothes and make most money. CctinqaLk. Na
risk. EtvryfAfnpaenf exprtMixiitt Jlurryup postal today.
firaat Central Tailoring Co. CtKCCAGO,BiaX.'
BEAUTIFUL RUGS
made fkom
OLD CARPETS
Instead of throwing away the old
carpets, tend them to tie aid lot ua
make them late beautiful Indian
Rugs for you. Yea will tad them
tar superior to the celebrated Smyrna
Ruga. We make a variety of designs
for you to eheose from with
firm, evsn nap ea both sides, at
prlees at leaet M per eent. leae than
you would have te pay for aew
goods. Yoe don't have to eleea the
eld carpets aid we pay the freight
on then from year keae Before
shipping write for our booklet and
Instructions Address
INDIAN RUG COMPANY
CARLISLE. PA.
eIhistle
.ODA
QUALITY?FULL PUUND
ou Fresh and Pure. Use One-fourih less Than Of
absorbtion of moisture and impurities.
he mill into permanent, moisture-proof
onomical and desirable Soda for cookii
rice. Every pound of Eagle-Thistle is manul
jay no middle-man's profit. Eagle-Thistle
ik your grocer for it.
;e copy of our new cook book.
.1 WORKS: Factory and Sales
[)0 Bushels of
:r Acre
ing what they should can be made
seed selection, thorough cultivalild
up your farm, compel bigger
Carolina
Grade
izcrs
of making your crops produce the
ve produced more big corn yields
re made of the very best raw maley
can buy. They are accurately
.0 the best balanced, most drillable
is is well told in our 1912 YEAR
for your asking.
KChemTcariil
CO. Ji
I February 21, 1912
NO ODOR-NO POISON
Guaranteed by the Lemon Oil Co., under the lnseotlclde
Act of 1810. Serial No. S*L
Jost the tiling: for gTcsnhonjes end indoor plant*.
In use and recommended by Iht Uadinv trrdmm ar.il
florists. An effective Insecticide to destroy Insects
on leaves snd ro-ita of plants without Injury to
leaves or fetlaee* leavl rno disagrfrahle odor.
This will be found an excellent wash for does and
other animals; It relieves manes, destroys lice and '
Ins. cte. and rives the coat a b. autlful glossy appearance.
A favorite In chicken houses, and for >
killine Insects In the homes
1-2 Pint, 25c; Pint. 40c; Qutrl, 75c; 1-2 Billon,
$1.25: Billon. $2.00:5 Gallon Can. S9.00:10 0*1- I
Ion Cm, 117.50. DiiuttwtthnUr30to50parts.
kakctactcred bt
LEMON OIL CO., C420V. lulndon St., Biltlmort, Md.
Directions ok Every Package.
1 I
FOR ^ ' ' V
SORE THROAT
f Head-colds and
M chronic catarrh,dissolve
m one teaspoonful of Tyree's^
m Antiseptic Powder (non-poi- %
sonous) in a teacupful of warm
I water. Use as a gargle or spray
I every two hours in acute cases I
and thrice daily in chronic. V
% The relief is quick, delight- M
^ ful and permnnent. Free sam- M
pie on request or 25c and SI at J
dTl'R StOrQS. im mmm. mm ? ^
ASK J-? TVREES
YOUR^J ANTISEPTIC
DOCTOR "POWDER
National tfank of Virginia
Hh k Mala Streets. Richmond, Va.
Capital $1,100,000.00
Surplus ami Undivided
Profits 17$,000>00
Assets 0.600,000.00
OFFICERS
W. M. HABLI8TON. President
JOHN 8KJ2LTON W11.1,1 A MB.
WILLIAM T. REED,
Vice-Presidents
W. M. ADDISON, Cashier
O. B. MORTON,
W. H. SLAUQHTMR, ' *
JOHN TYLER,
J. M. BALL. Jr?
Assistant Cashiers
ACOBUWTS SOLICTT1D
I per east allowed ea Barings aeeeunta
ji \Tf
\|| Requires no tipping back H
I| II of the head ? no washing ||
H ae|jk by hand ? no breakage. II
| Write bf Wustrstso Catalogue- II
vJ