Newspaper Page Text
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Story Corner
ii ii
An Arkansas judge had couvened
court in one of the towns on his circuit,
wLtn it was found that no tiers,
Ink or paper had been provided, and
upon inquiry IS came out that no
county funds were available for the
purpose.
The judge exclaimed somewhat forcefully,
then drew some money from his
own pocket. He was about to hand it
to the clerk when a visiting lawyer, a
h nrlonH I m nwH/tU
ALU pi/1 ICVft at 11V.1C UlUU^lU
on to defend a case of some importance,
spoke up In a voice plainly audible
over the room.
"Well!" with Infinite contempt, "I've
seen some pretty bad conditions, but
this?well, this is the llmiL"
"You are fined $5 for contempt, sir!"
thundered the Judge. "Hand the money
to the clerk."
When the eminent lawyer had humbly
compiled, the judge turned to the
clerk.
"Now, Mr. Clerk, go out and get what
pens, ink and paper the court may require,
and if there is any change left
over you may give it to the gentleman."?Selected.
HE CONCLUDED NOT TO TRADE. ~
A Missourian from the Ozarks recent
ly went to the city to see the sights.
He had never been in a big city before.
He walked down the street, looking in
the windows and enjoying himself
hugely. At one place he saw a sign
reading, "Woman's Exchange."
The mountaineer hurried into the
tore, which was filled with various
specimens of feminine handicraft.
"Is this the woman's exchange?" he
aeked. "It is," answered a very tall,
very gaunt and very spinsterlike person
behind the counter.
"Be you the woman?" and he eyed
her keenly.
"I guess I am."
"Wall, I guess I'll keep Sal," he said
apologetically, hurrying out.?Spokane
Review.
Fidgety man, getting up and giving
up his car seat to the stout woman who
had been swaying from a strap for four
miles: "Take this seat, ma'am.'"
Stout ladv in susDieious tones and
with a strong flavor of sarcasm:
"What's wrong with It?"?Ex. _
"You're a saving cuss, Banks.
Have you anything to retire on?"
"Sure! I've got a dandy hair mat:
tress!"?Ex.
SHE TRIED TO OBEY.
Eddie Foy. at the Lambs' Club gambol
in New York, told a Panama hat
story.
"A young clerk out my way," he
said, "gave his girl a present of a
Panama last year. Then, the day be
fore the Fourth, he got a couple o/
compllmentarles for a picnic, clambake
and corn roast down the river and he
wired the girl:
" 'Meet me at Pier 13 tomorrow
morning at 7. Picnic. Bring Panama.'
"The next morning as he stood on
Pier 13 dreaming dreams of love, lm
agming a long, sweet aay or Dining ana
cooing, be so?; bis girl advancing with
her father and mother. He was terribly
annoyed and on the boat as soon as
he could get her alone he hissed:
"'What did you want to bring tV
old folks for?*
"'Didn't you tell me to bring them?"
the replied, and. she showed him the
telegram, which the operator had made
to read: '
"'Bring pa and ma'"?Waahlngtor
Star.
THE PRESBYTERIA
??|j Dependable Economical /tj
I Codiish |
I' " New and Better Form |
|f) Don't bother any linger wi.h over- 9
H salted, unpalatable, unwholesome, dried $g|
HB cod, so difficult to digest. Use 9
I BurnhamS Morrill |
U Fish Flakes f
_ aw IU/J 8I2CI IOC
H-j Codfish in il moit modern, sanitary, convrnKB
ient ,nd palatable form?cooked fresh from the H&j
M ocein?mildly salted?immediately packed in 9
KB air-tiyht. parchment-lined containers and ready J
jj for instant use in making delicious FISH i
CALLS. CREAMED FISH. FISH Q:
H CHOWDER, etc.
^ Keeps In Any Climate n
I At grocers everywhere, cr mail us I Oc and ?S
9 receive a full size 10c package, prepaid.
Bfi Write to-day far FREE BOOK af roeipot by the H
H td.lor af Ike "Bottom Cookimg School Magmsiat." jH
P BURMIAM & MORRILL CO. Jj
Portland, Maine, U. S. A.
111 Eusl
ItntHAThitSOasiKtU*"**5 i
'< Jll
Nat Weight
I BIG QUANTITY?BEST
That's Eagle-This'ls. It comes to y
Ordinary Soda loses strength by
Brand is packed direct from t
sanitary packages, the most cc
household uses. Compare the p
packed and sold by us. You i
sold by dealers everywhere. As
WRITE FOR A FRI
I THE MATHIESON ALKAI
Grow 75 or t(
Corn p
Your acres that are not produc
to vield ft croat. HonJ mnrp Ocrofnl
tion and the best fertilizers will bi
yields, bring you bigger profits.
Virginia-!
HighFertil
are carefully mixed for the purpose
big yields you should get. They ha
than any other fertilizers. They a
terials that skill can devise and mor
proportioned and carefully mixed int
fertilizers any farmer can use.
TT J * * *
now 10 secure nigger corn yieli
BOOK. Copy will be sent you free
SALES OFFICES
Richmond, Va. Charleston, S. C.
Norfolk, Va. Baltimore, Md.
Atlanta, Ga. Columbus, Ga.
Savannah, Ga. Montgomery, Ala.
Columbia, S. C. Memphis, Tenn.
Durham, N. C. Shreveport, La.
Alexandria* Va. Winston-Salem, N. C.
N OF THE SOUTH
Accept This Swell $25 Suit
nYes,FREE. WeEtartonrewell-dressedsalea
.S&'Ti ropre ontntivcfl out looking right?we send
i ourouUit/ree.ntoneo.biggcstondbestaainM.my
V. T*plo books, attractivofnbrics.handsorarctcolor
Styles Jf*L plates, with our new. remarkable, cosy moneymaking
offer, your estra sample suit ol.er
/fT i- V ' 1 v. v II. Swill-dressed. and backed by us.
/ll i \l'<3VlA 5'?1 ran make big money showing our
fi t \ UidMd A superior lino of men's suit and overcoat
.,V?J samples?orders coma thick, fast and
B|HUl^HH|asKsji. Sparc timeor all of it. No money
1 j, li :. j-I'lit<gU>^ or expcricneeneccsaary. Norcferences
rod tape. We trust you absolutely.
%?te'MY?U CAT! MAKE
wHrS Per Day Easy or
^%S30 to $30 a Week
^jy Other aijenta sro?yoo eon
eiunir enrr . do as well or better. ExclusSAMPLE
SUIT hre territory and special insldo wholwalo
Everything in price so you can undersell all competition
Just for you. and mako big profit. When your friends
r rj ?- n Tn see your suit they will gladly order these
inLC Von Bwellest. hand-tailored made-to-measure
n la _ garments. They will save $3 to $5. Suits, 13
|F|T up. Fit. workmanship, material guaranteed
U U I I II by bond. Finest for stylo, looks and wear,
We back one man thin way in ooch CCMfl tifl AJI1MPV
locality. Chance of your lifetime *>?Rll HU WlUWtl
to get swell elotbes and make most money. Get in Qui.k. Na
risk. EitrytMno senf express paid. ITnrry up portal today.
firaat Gentral Tailoring Co. ck:cago,D1ill.'
BEAUTIFUL RUGS
made fkom
/%! IN /"* A r* rtrvnr *+
ULU LAKrt 1
Instead of throwing iwiy the old
carpet*, send then to ua aad lot us
make them lato beautiful Indian
Rugs for you. Too will lad them
tar auporlor to the celebrated Smyrna
Rugs. We make a variety of designs
for you to eheose from with
firm, even nap on both aides, at
prices at leaat 50 per sent, less than
you would have to pay for sew
goods. 1 on don't hove to edeoa the
old earpeto and w* pay the freight
on them from roar homo. Before
shipping write for our booklet and
Instructions. Address
INDIAN RUG COMPANY
CARLISLE. PA.
EliilSTLE
Jr m tEaiii W
> O D/\
QUALITY?FULL POUND ou
Fresh nnd Pure. Use One-fourth less Than 01
absorbtion of moisture and impurities,
he mill into permanent, moisture-proo:
onomical and desirable Soda for cooki
rice. Every pound of Eagle-Thistle is manu
say no middle-man's profit. Eagle-Thistle
>k your grocer for it.
:e copy of our new cook book.
.1 WORKS: Factory and Sales
30 Bushels of
r Acre
ing what they should can bo made
seed selection, thorough cultivalild
up your farm, compel bigger
Carolina
Grade
izers
of making your crops produce the
ve produced more big corn yields
re made of the^very best raw ma
ley can Duy. l ney are accurately
,o the best balanced, most drillable
ds is well told in our 1912 YEAR
for your asking.
I February 21, 1912
NO OD^R-NO POISON
Guaranteed by the Lemon Oil Co., under the Insecticide
Act of 1?10. Serial No. 321.
J opt the thing- for greenhouses and indoor plants.
In use and rtcommrndrd by the leadiug seedsmen or:?l
florista An effective insecticide to destroy Insects
on leaves and ro_>ta of plants without Injury to
leaves or foliages leavl r no disagreeable odor.
This will be found an excellent wash for dogs and
other animals; it relieves mange, destroys lien and
insists, and gives the coot a tv-autlful glossy appearance.
A favorite In chicken houses, and for
killing Insects In the homes.
1-2 Pint, 25c; Pint, 40c; Qunrt, 75c; 1-2 Gallon,
St.25; Gallon, $2.00; 5 Gallon Can, $9.00; 10 Gallon
Can, $17.50. DiluU with witar 30 to 50 parts.
MAXCrACTPRKD BT
LEMON OIL CO., C420W. Islington St., Baltimore, Md.
DnuLCTTONS OS EVKRY PACKACK.
I
for
sore throat
M Head-colds and
M chronic catarrh,dissolve
m one teaspoonful of Tyree's^
m Antiseptic Powder (non-poi- %
sonous) in ateacupful of warm ?
I water. Use as a gargle or spray
I every two hours in acute cases I
and thrice daily in chronic. $
\ The relief is quick, delight- m
% ful and permanent. Free sara- m
plo on request or 25c and $1 at ?
dmft stores, imm^
ASK l-s-T.rr?*!Chemifl, TYREES
VOUR^^^ W" ANTISEPTIC
DOCTOR ? ' POWDER
National Hank of Virginia
tth k Msls Streets. Richmond, Vs.
UM1UU 91,200,900.00
Surplus **d Usdlridsd
Profits . <79,000.09
Am?U .. 9,600,000.00
OFFICERS
W. M. HABL.IBTON. Prssldent
JOHN 8KJDLTON Wll.l.lAMB.
WLLJLLAM T. REED,
Vies- Presidents
W. M. ADDISON, CssRlsr
O. 8. MORTON,
W. H. SLAUGHTER,
JOHN TTLXR,
J. 1L BALA* Jr?
Aasistamt Cashtors
accounts MLirmn
I
8 per mmt allowed en aTlags accounts
\Y?
llf Requires no tipping back II
I of the head ? no washing U
Ik. by hand ? no breakage.
W Write tor IBpstrstsd Catatsgus. ||