Newspaper Page Text
14 (362)
I Story Corner '
> < i
3
Where lie Should be N'ovr.
"Where," asked the female suffrage
orator, "would man be today were it
not for woman?"
Qha noiiaA?1 #? ? > ? 1 1
^/tiuotu iui a. muiucut, auu iuunt*u
around the hall.
"I repeat," she said, "where would
man be today if not for woman?"
'"He'd be in the Garden of i?den eating
strawberries," answered a voice
from the gallery.?Tid BitB.
"Do you know of any good remedy
for a deadlock?"
"1 should suggest a key to the situation."?Baltimore
American.
Bilter (at servants' agency): "Have
vnil fZC%t a onnk whn will on frv thn nnnn.
try?"
Manager (calling to girls in next
room): "is there anyone here who
would like to spend a day in tne country!"?Life.
;
Prosy Old Bore (at conclusion of interminable
discourse): "Do you know,
I can never sleep at nights. I've tried
every possible remedy."
Liong suffering Listener (with a
yawn): "Did you ever try talking to
yourself?"
Robert Henri, the painter, was talking
about those millionaires who buy,
merely to show off, doubtful "old masters"
at fabulous prices.
"Their knowledge of art," Mr. Henri
said, "is about equal to that of the sau
sage manufacturer who said to Whistler:
" 'What would you charge to do me
iu oil?
" 'Ten thousand', said Whistler
promptly.
"'But suppose I furnish the oil?' said
the millionaire."?Dallas News.
Little Boy?Why, there isn't anything
on this Christmas tree at all.
Christian Science Mother?Have pa- '
tience, Willie. We'll sit down and trim
it mentally.?Life. ?
"It is the duty of everyone to make
a: least one person happy during ti,e
week," said a Sunday scuool teacher.
"Now, have you done so. Johnny?"
"Yes," said Johnny, promptly.
"Thflt'a plcht W/ho# Hl/i vah /Ja9m
"I went to see my aunt, and she's
always happy when 1 go home."?Answers.
Senator Benjamin F. Tillman relates
an amusing anecdote about a colored
man named Jeff, who has been with a
neighboring South Carolina family since
long before the war.
"One day," said Mr. Tillman, "his
mistress was rather surprised when old
Jeff aBked to have a few days off to go,
as he put It, 'to de ole State of Bostlng.'
to see his aunt.
" 'Why, Jeff," said the lady, 'your aunt
must be pretty old, isn't she?'
" 'Yes'm,' he replied, 'yes'm; mah aunt
must be pretty ole now?she's 'bout ah
hundred an' five years ole now.'
" 'Orio hlinHrfl/1 an?4 ?
? ? v vU uuu *i?o /caio; CA"
claimed his mistress; "why what on
earth is she doing up there in Boston?' g
" 'Deed, I's dunno what's she's doin', Tw(
ma'am/ rejoined old Jeff in all seriousotrfl
ness; /she's up dere livln' wid her gran'- JOI
mother/"?'Philadelphia Record. ?MWSElS|
SMtrlil Bella a ?prt?H>. J#
r HE PRESBYTERIAN OF THE i
' ****
JfYouHaveN
{S- TTero i
bkMi
? (Proces
,;V.?
Vv
11' There's a treat in store f<
? ; It's thoroughly good?
i
St :
f| Delic
flfy More i
More Sanit
BUT?
| Less Expen
You should not rest cont
HERO. Many people
f Hero in your neighborh<
fi in your town keeps it.
' Yours for a cheery
* ?": *
Potter Sloan O'l
4 13 and 15 Old Slip, N
life v
Coupon Is W
^ \ Fill in your name, addre
\ mail to ua. We wil
eaqle pa?age of,
THISTLE v Ck^V Char?e- 1
is packed di- ments. It
rect from the xj?*JE^ / A. no cond
mill into perma- / A obligi
nent, moisture-proof, "
sanitary packages. No
opportunity to absorb mois- *5^^^
ture or impurities. Every yKSjtj||
pound of Eagle-Thistle is manufactured, packed vBWB
and sold by us. No packer or middle-man's
profit. Compare the price. For sale by all
dealers. This offer Is limited. Send the coupon now. Bo
sure to give dealer's name. Copy tho coupon If you' do not
want to cut your paper.
The Mathleson Alkali Works: new m um tmn. mimit. m
WEET POTATOES THE SALVE
j weeks before your neighbor by planting
ncyHall and Triumph slips, 9i.7< per <000. w v FA F"? F T'
n-luirrtr DUw?e ?0 *.1 1AuA " ^ "
IH u6HTrObV/^ CH-tt.noomm, Tenn. WC ^ ^ ^ ^
FOR COW
>ultrYb?NE PULL BVLE
10O Feet I<ong for 75n Kreltzer's Antldyepeptle
Galvanised PtiHry N?ttl?n Remedy; Gargle for Sor
wait* roe circular & these are highly recommi
mvw w i gj ATWW V<?Upr?IV? *^fr> XV, C. rOWER dt CC
3 O U T H [March 13, 1913
reverThsted
' *' i
Pnf?t>d>?
Vhieory
'ViC
sed) ?
i
^r you. W:,
|K:V..
* ?
ious? ||j
*CW5v>*
lesome? W
3?
/
isive?
v
:ent until you have \\
i are familiar with %
Dod. Some grocer c
:: Look him up.
breakfast cup.
W
A?.'J?
)onohue Co. 1
/'K
ew York Citv
' c'' ^
#i i#iTfi aitou^
^IjFmVTjn || pr BRAND *
forth Money to You ||8|j^
as and your dealer's name and
11 give you a Full Pound
Eagle-Thistle Free o* ^
est i us merits. x~ rove our state- Y'
will cost you nothing. There are " * w#,?ht /
itions to this offer. You do not /' ,?
ite yourself in any way. Be tore to ose oneirth
lilt than you wouM of oth?f brandi of soda. Eijla-Thl:!'.; '
Brand Is always frnsk and Purn. After using / /
this package and determining Its /' /
X. superior Quality, tell your
m neighbors. Remember / /' /'
||t\ the Brand- Eagln-Tklstln /
?full Pound' /
Package. / /
X/ /V /
/ ia,v / /
/ /
/ * <* ? /V *
c <&
, -T. J
i THAT HAS NO EQUAL
ZER'S SALVr
t.N S, BOILX, III HNM, CARRI'MCIiRB, SORBS,
VY POISON, FRESH WOUNDS, Etc,
HAVE YOU TRIED
Pills for regulating the liver; Rheumatic and Neuralgia
e Throat; Oravel Tea for Kidneys; Pile Ointment All
tnded by physicians. Ask your druggist for them.
I, Mfgra., 1S3A North Fearth S?r?e|, Philadelphia, Pa.