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Story Corner
'I (i
Where He Should be Now.
"Where," asked the female suffrage
orator, "would man be today were It
not for woman?"
She paused for a moment and looked
around the hall.
"1 repeat," Bhe Baid, "where would
man be today If not for woman?"
"He'd be in the Garden of Eden eating
strawberries," answered a voice
from the gallery.?Tid Bits.
"Do you know of any good remedy
for a deadlock?"
"1 should suggest a key to the situation."?Baltimore
American.
Bilter tat servants' agency): "Have
you got a cook who will go. to the country?"
Manager (calling to girls in next
room): "is there anyone here who
would like to spend a day in tne country?IJfe.
Prosy Old Bore (.at conclusion of interminable
discourse): "Do you know,
I can never sleep at nights. I've tried
every possible remedy."
Long suffering Listener (.with a
yawn): "Did you ever try talking to
yourself?"
Robert Henri, the painter, was talking
about those millionaires who buy,
merely to show off, doubttul "old masters"
at fabulous prices.
"Their knowledge of art," Mr. Henri
said, "is about equal to that of the sausage
manufacturer who said to Whistler:
" 'What would you charge to do me
in oil?
" 'Ten thousand', said Whistler
promptly.
"'But Buppose I furnish the oil?' said
the millionaire."?Dallas News.
Lattle Boy?Why, there isn't anything
on this Christmas tree at all.
Christian Science Mother?Have patience,
Willie. We'll sit down and trim
it mentally.?Ldfe. ?
"it is the duty of everyone to make
at least one person happy during tue
week," said a Sunday scuool teacher.
"Now, have you done so, Johnny?"
"Yes," said Johnny, promptly.
"That's right. What did you do?"
"I went to see my aunt, and she's
always happy when 1 go home."?Answers.
Senator Benjamin F. Tillman relates
an amusing anecdote about a colored
man named Jeff, who has been with a
neighboring South Carolina family since
long before the war.
"One day," said Mr. Tillman, "his
mistress was rather surprised when old
Jeff asked to have a few days off to go,
as he put it, 'to de ole State of Bostlng.'
to see his aunt.
" 'Why, Jeff," said the lady, 'your aunt
must be pretty old, isn't she?'
" 'Yes'm,' he replied, 'yes'm; mah aunt
must be pretty ole now?she's 'bout ah
hundred an' five years ole now.'
"'One hundred and five years!' ex
cmiuieu ujb uiittireBs; "wny wnat on
earth is she doing up there in Boston?' ?
" 'Deed, I'a dunno what's she's doln', Tw
ma'am/ rejoined old Jeff in all seriousness;
'she's up dere livin' wid her gran'- J
. mother.'"?Philadelphia Record. ?
JpFBEULS i
MMrial Bella a ?>iJaltr. ?
<17 Oa. ?!???. M.MV Cl
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rHE PRESBYTERIAN OF THE S
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?fy There's a treat in store fo:
; It's thoroughly good?
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H Delici
fP More Whol
More Saniti
BUT?
i Less Expert.
You should not rest contc
'} ; HERO. Many people
f Hero in your neighborho
? in your town keeps it.
* Yours for a cheery I
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Potter Sloan O'B
h. 13 and 15 Old Slip, N<
"US
':r.AV? * vtThis
Coupon Is W
I _ X wii: J J
a "V i- m iu your name, auures
\ mail to us. We will
ogle <?5V \ Package of I
thistle 'f fry\ Charge. T(
is packed di- N5?5?|^| O A mentS* 11V
rect from the .^V. no co?di
mill into perma- obliga
nent, moisture-proof, >v ""
sanitary packages. No
opportunity to absorb mois- n?k?^
ture or impurities. Every URjtth
pound of Eagle-Thistle is manufactured, packed ^Cr^B
and sold by us. No packer or middle-man's
profit. Compare the price. For sale by all
dealers. Tbls offer is limited. Send the coupon now. Be
sure to give dealer's name. Copy the coupon if you' do not
want to cut your paper.
The Mathleson Alkali Works: ftctiry ?< s?m ornc?. salttille, n.
a mmi r? m- ? n ^ v ? ? - - ? ? - -
>ncci rw i ? i ut5 THE. SALVE
10 weeks before your neighbor by planting
ancy Mali and Triumph Blips, $1.7i per -000, w jpp ry r* I T
rawberry Plants. 12.6'' per 10"0. SC F. I
>MN UOHTFOOT, K- Ch.tunooga, Tenn. IL *
for com
? ? ? r
oul^RYqQNE FULL 3TLE
LlMltM 160 Feet Long for7tio Kreltzer's Antldyapeptlc
Oalvanlzed Peuttr# Netting Itemedy; GarRle for Sor
wain for ciROUutat those are hiRhly recomme
rrTikuTZftM??mfiM??*n wv%%- tv. C. I'OWEH A CC
0 U T H [March 13, 1913
werThsted
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r you. '0\
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esome? M
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7n;? ic2?it2^
sive?
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snt until you have \\
are familiar with %
od. Some grocer ?
:: Look him up.
breakfast cup. 0$
it&
onohue Co. ?
/'a ?$?
iw York City '^Mw
<* '.* '. . jf
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ftPSv^nj ? ^-; cTm^r;
>1 J:\fl 3| I w?SS
orth Money to You
>s and your dealer's name and [f l^^koMuo^o^l
I give you a Full Pound
Eagle-Thistle Free of * Jl
est its merits. Prove our state- t? oun?. J*
rill cost you nothing. There are " * /
tions to this offer. You do not /
to yourself in any way. Be sore to use one- /
th liti thin you would of othir brand* of nodi. Eijli-Thht'.s
Brand Is always Fnili and Fun. Afior using / /
this package and determining Its /'
V. superior huallty. tell your
. neighbors. Heme mbe r / /' /'
the Brand- Eaglo-Thlstlo /
?full Pound' /
' s /
/ .? f\V <L /' /
/j<?- yy*
w/ c
: THAT HAS NO EQUAL
ZER'S SALVE*
>S, ROILS, IK HNS, CAN Rl'KCl,KS, SOURS, 1 *
rr POISON, FRESH WOUNDS, Etc,
Ha ve you tried
Pllla for regulating the liver; Rheumatic and Neuralgia
e Throat; Qravel Tea for Kidneys; Pile Ointment. All
nded by physlclana. Ask your druggist for them.
?, Mfgra., 15341 North Fourth Street, Philadelphia, Pa.