Newspaper Page Text
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THE ELLIJAY
PUBLISHED WEEKLY.
ELLIJAY. GEORGIA
The peace serum docs not seem
hare taken in Europe.
Nothing withstands the cold
like a young girl’s white shoes.
Uncle Sam is short 3,000,000 girls.
That number is needed to match the
male population.
Please note that the burglar whom
somebody smashed in the face with a
pie got away with it.
A woman gets a hat to fit her face.
The fit that the man gets is propor¬
tional to the size of the bill.
The latest thing in dances is the
“horse trot." And probably the next
thing to it is the nightmare.
Some experts declare that the hob¬
ble skirt makes our women knock
kneed. We are from Missouri.
Poison ivy is full of lovely color in
the autumn, but no one should carry
it home because of its loveliness.
Los Angeles complains of a school
book famine, but the small boys of
that city are bearing up bravely.
They are going to make dollar bills
smaller. The grocery man attended
to that little detail some time ago.
A New York man had his name
changed from Arestad to Nightingale.
He certainly selected a bird of a name.
If the plan to employ policewomen
for Chicago is carried out we may ex¬
pect the crooks to go to carrying mice.
The limit of criticism is reached
when one woman says of another:
“Why, she doesn't even make her own
bed.”
Mathematics tell us the birthdays
we have been celebrating are frauds
But everybody over 30 knew that al¬
ready.
Parisian beauties are to be yellow
of face Instead of pink and white. One
moment, please, while we change com¬
plexions.
A contribution of two cents was re¬
ceived by the Washington conscience
fun. Bft the fellow who sent It looks
like It, too.
A Colorado man had fifteen hives
robbed of honey at one time. He
must be cultivating the stingless va¬
riety of bee.
A Boston doctor says the women of
that town are not knockkneed. And
* • he talks like, a man who knows where¬
of he speaks.
Somebody is advertising an appara¬
tus for cooking over a gas jet, but he
Is no friend to the woman who has a
hall bedroom to let.
There will always be a difference
between unlaundered money and
tainted money, with plenty of people
ready to grab either.
A French expert says that the fam¬
ily Is doomed within a half-century
through the automobile. Wonder what
death rate he figures.
The largest stone statue In the
world is in Japan. It is forty-four feet
high, which probably accounts for the
fact that it is still there.
A California judge refused alimony
to a woman who refuses to cook for
her spouse. If she’s still cooking for
him; what need of alimony?
A Chicago bride ran away because
her husband would not buy her a new
feather for her hat. Trifles have be¬
fore now overturned empires.
The woman conductor on Philadel¬
phia’s street cars is called a cashier
by courtesy. This is, however, no
slam on conductors in general.
A German specialist claims that tel¬
ephones make the modern man crazy.
•Until he spoke, It was generally be¬
lieved the operators were responsible.
A New York man was fined for
swearing when tickled by a young
woman’s hat feathers. Wrong word.
He evidently wasn’t tickled.
The Fido muff is the latest armful
affected by feminine caprice. De¬
ceased pets do not, however, enter In¬
to the composition of this elegant
trifle.
As a suggestion to a means of pre¬
venting so many drownings In the
United States navy, it might be a
good idea to teach the sailors how to
swim.
The man who married a girl under
school age and is now obliged under a
fine to see that his wife goes to school
regularly, is somewhat wiser since the
fine was imposed, and perhaps he Is
obliged to get his own meals.
Milk makes an admirable hair
tonic, according to the same prlma
donna who lately discovered the $15,
000 lump of ambergris. Thus is it
proved that grand opera is a terrible
strain on the inventive powers of the
press agent.
The statement of tke comptroller of
the currency that a dollar bill usually
last about fourteen months is not in
line with experience out this way. A
dollar bill lasts just long enough to go
downtown.
A boy, mistaken by an enthusiastic
hunter for an opossum, was shot and
killed. One remarkable thing about
these accidents, which now make a
regular feature of the shooting season,
is the accurate aim of the hunter who
never fails to hit when he aims at a
mistake.
WILSON TO CALL
EXTRA SESSION
IMMEDIATELY AFTER
TION PRESIDENT WILL CON¬
VENE CONGRESS.
TO MEET BEFORE APRIL 16
Democratic President-Elect Prepares
to Carry Out Pre-Election
Pledges
New York.—Gov. Woodrow Wilson
has announced that immediately af¬
ter his inauguration as president of
the United States he would call an
extraordinary session of congress to
convene not later than April 15 for
the purpose of revising the tariff.
The president-elect sailed for a va¬
cation, and will return December 1C.
To set at rest in the meantime spec¬
ulation as to what he would do with
regard to tariff revision, he issued
the following statement:
"I shall call congress together in
extraordinary session not later than
April 15. I shall do this not only be¬
cause I think that the pledges of the
party ought to he redeemed as
promptly as possible, but also because
I know it to be in the interest of busi¬
ness that all uncertainty as to what
the particular items of tariff revision
are to be should be removed as soon
as possible.”
Beyond this brief announcement the
governor said he had nothing further
to say. Most of the opinions he had
received from public men seemed to
be in favor of an extra session, he
•declared.
, The governor did not intend to ex¬
press himself about an extra session
so soon after his election. Although
he has favored the idea of an extra
session because the present arrange¬
ment would not bring the new con¬
gress into session until thirteen
month after its election, he had ex¬
pected to spend more time in ascer¬
taining public opinion. With the time
to be consumed in discussion the gov¬
ernor felt that if an extra session
were not call, the benefits of tariff re¬
vision would be postponed for practi¬
cally two years.
Throughout the campaign he re¬
iterated that he desired an immediate
revision of the tariff and that the
Democratic leaders know perfectly
well how to proceed about it. The
governor was impressed by the argu¬
ment also that with an early an¬
nouncement as to an extra session
Democratic leaders in congress could
begin to take counsel at an early! date
so that much of the preliminary de¬
tail could be worked out before con¬
gress convened on, ApTil i/uidentally 15. The gov¬
ernor was prompted in
making his bariy announcement by
the fact that many members of con¬
gress were desirous of arranging for
accommodations in Washington , for
the extra sesesion if there was to be
be one.
ATHLETE KILLS HIMSELF
Son of Aide to King of Sweden Kills
Himself in Tampa.
Tampa, Fla.—Documents found in
the possession of Lieut. Fred de Man
nerfelt, who committed suicide at a
local hotel by shooting himself
through the heart, identify him as
the son of Major F. Mannerfelt of
the personal staff of King Oscar of
Sweden. Other papers show that he
was a member of the Swedish team
in the recent Olympic games at
Stockholm.
The dead man had been in the city
only a few days and little is known
of him here. He left letters address¬
ed to two citizens of Boca Grande,
Fla., where he is believed to have
been spending a vacation. He also
left a note to the manager of the
hotel apologizing for his act.
Astor Takes Possession of Fortune.
New York.—On Vincent Astor’s
twenty-first birthday he took legal
and official title to the fortune left
by his father. Colonel John Jacob As¬
tor. The total amount of the estate
Is estimated at $80,000,000, of which
Vincent Astor receives approximately
$67,000,000.
Convicts Advertise for Work.
Chicago.—Convicts paroled from
the state pentitentiary, but who can¬
not be freed because they have not
secured in advance employment for
at least one year, have hit upon the
expedient of advertising in Chicago
papers. An employment want ad kept
standing in local papers and stating
that those seeking employment are at
present convicts in the penitentiary
has obtained employment from eight
merchants willing to take a chance
on the paroled men making good.
Blind Banker Admits Theft.
Paris, France. Augustin Max,
known throughout France as the
“Blind Banker of Paris,” has created
a mild sensation in financial circles
here by surrendering himself to the
police and confessing that he has mis¬
appropriated $2,000,000 of his clients’
money. Max declared that he had in¬
vested the depositors’ funds in copper
and nickel m ! nes in New Caledonia.
The enterprises were complete fail¬
ures. Max enjoyed the highest repu¬
tation in banking circles here.
He Hanged John Brown.
Montgomery, Ala.—Lieut. Col. Jo¬
seph C. Gibson, in charge of the
troops which hanged John Brown for
treason at Harper’s Ferry, is dead at
his plantation at Verbena, Ala., a few
miles nori.1% of Montgomery. He was
79 years old, and had been an invalid
for a number of years. Colonel Gib¬
son came to Montgomery soon after
the war, where he engaged in news¬
paper work. Later he took charge of
the old Battle House in Mobile.
Senor Canalejas, premier of Spain,
who has been assassinated, is shown
in this photograph consulting with
King Alfonso.
BRITISH DIPLOMAT DESIRES TO
COMPLETE HIS LITERARY
WORK.
Official Announcement Made — Sir
Cecil Arthur Spring-Rice to
Succeed Bryce.
Washington. — James Bryce, the
British ambassador to the United
States, has tendered his resignation,
and will return to England.
While the news that Ambassador
Bryce is to retire will be received
with regret in official circles and by
the country generally, it is not wholly
unexpected. There has been no
break in the harmonious relations of
the distinguished Englishman and his
government, but it has been an open
secret for some ■ time that Mr. Bryce,
advancing in year, desired to sur¬
render his post and give entire at¬
tention to the completion of the lit¬
erary work which has occupied so
large a part of his life. His book on
South America, written since his tour
of that country two years ago, is just
off the press, and he is about to begin
a work covering his recent tour of
Australia and New Zealand.
London, England.—Announcement
that James Bryce, ambassador to the
United States, has resigned and that
he was succeeded by Sir Cecil Ar¬
thur Spring-Rice, British minister to
Sweden, caused surprise here, but
general interest in the situation was
overshadowed by the Balkan crisis.
DIXIE WOMEN IN SESSION
Lay Cornerstone of Monument to
Confederates Buried in Arlington.
Washington.—Hundreds of South¬
ern women, wearing the red and white
ribbon of the United Daughters of
the Confederacy, arrived in Wash¬
ington to attend the nineteenth
annual convention of the organiza¬
tion. The credentials committee of
the organization was busy issuing cre¬
dentials to delegates, who will partic¬
ipate in the sesssions of the conven¬
tion.
Word was received by the local of¬
ficials of the daughters that Mrs. Al¬
exander B. White, president- general
of the organization, would be unable
to attend the convention. Mrs. White
is detained at her home in Paris,
Tenn., by the grave illness of her
husband.
The big event of the convention was
the laying of the cornerstone of the
monument to Confederate soldiers
To Protect Americans.
Washington. — European powers
most intimately concerned in the Bal¬
kan situation have undertaken to ex¬
tend protection to Americans in Tur¬
key. Various American embassies in
Europe were instructed when inform¬
ing the nations of the decision of
the United States to send the cruisers
Tennessee and Montana to Asiatic
Turkey, to inquire whether provision
had been made in the interest of
American citizens in Turkey. Re¬
plies of foreign governments indicate
the desires of the United States.
14 Persons Dead; 90 Injured.
New Orleans.—Fourteen lives were
snuffed out and ninety passengers in¬
jured when a through freight train
crashed into the rear end of a north¬
bound excursion train on the Yazoo
and Mississippi Valley railroad near
Montz, La. Of the dead four are
white women, one a white infant,
four negro women and five negro men.
Forty-one of the injured are white
and forty-nine negroes. It is expected
that all of these, except possibly
three, will recover.
Socialist Takes Own Life.
Girard, Kan.—J. A. Wayland, a
founder and owner of The Appeal to
Reason, a Socialist weekly newspaper
published here, shot and killed him¬
self in his home. Between the leaves
of a book lying on the bed the fol¬
lowing note was found: “The struggle
under the competitive system isn’t
worth the effort; let it pass.” The
friend^ of Mb. Wayland attribute his
act to despondency over the death of
his wife, who was killed in an auto¬
mobile accident a year ago.
€292 g
SEN0R CANALEJAS
TOLLS HOE FID
MERCHANT VESSELS ARE TO PAY
$1.20 PER TON NET OF ACTU¬
AL CARRYING CAPACITY.
U. S. BATTLESHIPS EXEMPT
Rates Practically the Same as Those
to Be in Force at the
Suez Canal.
Washington.—President Taft has
issued a proclamation fixing the rates
that the foreign shipping of the
world shall pay for passage through
the Panama canal. The proclamation
made under the authority of the canal
act, passed by congress in August, es¬
tablishes a merchant vessel, rate of
$1.20 per net ton of actual carrying
capacity, with a reduction of 40 per
cent, on ships in ballast.
The provisions of the proclamation
are as follows:
“1. On merchant vessels carrying
passengers or cargo, $1.20 per net
vessel ton—each 100 cubic feet—of
actual earning capacity.
“2. On vessels in ballast without
passengers or cargo, 40 per cent, less
than the rate of tolls for vessels with
passengers or cargo.
“3. Upon naval vessels, other than
transports, colliers, hospital ships and
supply ships, fifty cents per displace¬
ment ton.
“4. Upon army and navy transports,
colliers, hospital ships and supply
ships, $1.20 per net ton, the vessels
to be measured by the same rules
as are employed in determining the
net tonnage of merchant vessels.
‘‘The secretary of war will prepare
and prescribe such rules for the meas¬
urement of vessels and such regula¬
tions as may be necessary and proper
to carry this proclamation into full
force and effect.’’
American coastwise shipping was
exempted from toll payment by con¬
gress. It was to this provision of the
act that Great Britain diplomatically
protested. No reference to the inci¬
dent was made in the president’s proc¬
lamation.
American naval vessels are exempt¬
ed without specific mention, either in
the act of congress or the proclama¬
tion, because the authorities believed
it unnecessary to explain the useless
ness of payment from its navy depart¬
ment pocket to the one belonging to
the treasury department. The rates
named are practically the same as
will be in force at the Suez canal
next year.
TURKEY SUES FOR PEACE
Porte Sends an Enwyyto the Bulga¬
rian Headquarters.
Constantinople.—That the porte has
entered into direct' negotiations with
Bulgaria for an armistice is confirm¬
ed. Nazim Pasha, the Turkish com¬
mander-in-chief, has received instruc¬
tions to open communication with the
Bulgarian generals, and he has sent
an envoy to the Bulgarian headquar¬
ters.
The porte appears resolved upo'l
this course, owing, on the one hand,
to the delay of the powers in hand¬
ling the mediation proposal, and, on
the other hand, to the divergence of
views the proposal has occasioned
among the powers.
London.—The porte on the advice
of Russia has instructed Nazim Pa¬
sha, the Turkish commander-in-chief,
to apply to the Bulgarian commander
for an eight days’ armistice with a
view to opening direct negotiations
for peace. This decision seems to
show that Turkey has little hope of
being able to hold the Tchatalja lines
against the Bulgarian commander’s
advance.
Strike Against Death Sentence.
St. Petersburg. Russia.—What is
practically a general strike has been
declared by the factories and work¬
shops in protest against the recent
sentencing to death of seventeen sail¬
ors of the Black Sea fleet for insti¬
gating mutinies. Demonstrations were
stopped by the police and many ar¬
rests have been made.
Wife Kills Husband.
Tampa, Fla.—Donald C. Livingston,
conductor on the Tampa-Sarasota
branch of the A. C. L., was shot and
killed by his wife. Mrs. Livingston
stated that her husband came home
under the influence of liquor and
abused her all day. She sought safe¬
ty in her room, where he forced the
door, and commenced beating her.
She seized a pistol, she stated, which
was in his hip-pocket, and shot him.
She fired four times, all the bullets
taking effect in his breast. She was
placed under arrest.
15 Persons Killed in Wreck.
Indianapolis. — An open switch,
which permitted a passenger train on
the Cincinnati, Hamilton and Dayton
railroad, to catapult, head-on, into a
freight standing on the sidetrack, was
held responsible for the death of fif¬
teen persons and the injury of seven¬
teen more. The crash occurred at
Irvington, a suburb. The majority of
the injured reside north of the Ohio
river. Among the dead passengers
were five members of the Chaney
family of Jackson, Ky. The sixth of
the family, Clifton Chaney, was hurt.
Father and Daughter Murdered.
Ocala, Fla.—J. T Beargess, an aged
farmer of near McIntosh, 20 miles
from here, and his 15-year-old adopt¬
ed daughter were murdered near their
home by a negro. Beargess was shot
down from ambush, while the girl
had her throat cut from ear to ear.
The sheriff and his posse soon cap
tured the negro, and, fearing mob vio¬
lence, started with him for Gaines
ville. Neighbors hearing of this
quickly formed a posse and at last
accounts were close on the heels of
the sheriff and his prisoner, v
CHARLES PAGE BRYAN
Mr. Bryan has resigned from the
American ambassadorship to Japan,
giving as his reasons poor health and
injuries received in a carriage acci¬
dent in Japan which may necessitate
his undergoing an operation. Mr.
Bryan is now at his home In Elmhurst,
a suburb of Chicago.
TAFT SPEAKS TO WOMEN
REMARKABLE SPEECH BY PRESI¬
DENT IN WELCOMING DAUGH
TERS OF CONFEDERACY.
Taft Thinks Wilson’s Victory Means
Broader Nationalism—The South
Has Come Into Her Own.
Washington.—A greater opportunity
to give the South a “feeling of own¬
ership” in the government will be giv¬
en the Woodrow Wilson administra¬
tion than was accorded the present
Republican regime. President Taft
told the United Daughters of the Con¬
federacy at the opening seession of
their annual convention here.
The president declared that “cir¬
cumstances have rendered it more dif¬
ficult for a Republican administration
than for a Democratic one to give
our Southern brothers and sisters the
feeling of close relationship and own¬
ership in the government of the Unit¬
ed States” activity of Southerners in
official life consequent to Democratic
control of the government, he said,
would give the South a feeling qf part¬
nership in the conduct of the coun¬
try's affairs that would do much to¬
ward eliminating sectional feeling.
A great crowd of the Daughters
gathered at the opening “welcome
session” of the convention to hear
the president. 15
President Taft said the occasion
that brought the Daughters together
was “not the mourning at the bier of
a lost cause,” but that they met to
celebrate the heroism, courage and
sacrifice of the men of the South,
He declared North and South alike
should rejoice in the “common herit¬
age of courage” left by the war, and
that while the greater horrors of the
war which visited the South made it
more difficult for the feeling of hos¬
tility to die out there than in the
North, the sectional line was at last
entirely disappearing.
Juryman Tries to Kill Self.
Rural Retreat, Va.—William O,
Neff, one of the jurors who sentenced
to long imprisonment a member of
the Allen clan, charged with “shoot¬
ing up” the court at Hillsvilie and
killing Judge Massie and several of
the court officers, is near death here,
and it is believed that he sought to
take his own life because of worry.
He was found with his throat cut,
a razor lying beside him. Claude
Swanson Allen, the young mountain¬
eer whom Neft joined in convicting of
conspiracy, was sentenced to death
by a subsequent jury.
Spanish Premier Assassinated.
Madrid.—Jose Canalejas y Mendes,
the prime minister whom Spain has
regarded as one of the greatest of
statesmen, was shot and killed by a
young anarchist named Manuel Par
dinas. The assassin attempted sui¬
cide and it was first thought that he
was dead, but, when carried to
the hospital he was found to be liv¬
ing. No event since the throwing of
the bomb at the carriage of King Al¬
fonso on May 31. 1906, while the king
was returning from the church after
his marriage has caused such alarm.
Schrank Pleads Guilty.
Milwaukee, Wis.—John Schrank
pleaded guilty of attempting to mur¬
der Theodore Roosevelt, and in his
plea he sought to distinguish between
an assault on Roosevelt as a “men¬
ace” and an attack on Roosevelt as
a citizen. Judge Backus announced
that be would name a commission
to examine Schrank’s mental condi¬
tion. The district attorney read the
complaint cn which Schrank was ac¬
cused of hav’ng made an assault on
the person of “one Theodore Roose¬
velt, with a deadly weapon.”
Nations Massing Warships.
Washington—A landing force of at
least 2,000 men is now available from
the international fleet in the harbor
of Constantinople and could he in¬
stantly sent ashore should a Moslem
outbreak endanger the lives of for
eigners in the Turkish capital. This
force is considered by • the state de
partment to be fully adequate to meet
any emergency that might arise jeop
ardlzing the safety of the nations
represented by the score of vessels
mobilized in the Ottoman harbor.
TO PREPARE MILITIA
acting Secretary Oliver in.
VITES CO-OPERATION IN WAR
COLLEGE PLANS.
WANT SYSTEM OF DIVISIONS
Important Move Proposed by War De.
partment to Governors of
All States.
Washington.—One of the most im¬
portant moves in recent years to pre¬
pare the national militia for use in
time of war is proposed in letters
addressed by Acting Secretary Oliver
to the governors of all the states
and territories, inviting their co-oper¬
ation in the war college plans for the
organization of the militia int6 sixteen
tactical divisions.
The letters point out that if the
militia is to be used as a field force
effectively in war time, it can only be
done by this system of divisions and
that to insure the proper working of
the plan all of the details should be
worked out in time of peace.
In the outline of the sixteen di¬
visions no place is given to separate
companies of infantry, which, it is
said, should be absorbed into regi¬
ments or other larger organizations.
Field armies would be formed by the
grouping of two or more divisions of
the militia or by combining one or
two divisions of miiita with one of
regular troops.
Regular organizations would form is
the fourth brigade of any division
signed to a field army, for the reason
that the organized militia is localized
while the regular army must go any¬
where upon call.
Some money will be available for
the assistance of state authorities. The
war department also proposes to de
tain inspector instructors to assist the
state officials and war material for
the militia will be distributed and
stored in suitable depots to be at hand
locally when mobilization is ordered.
General Oliver plans to have the
first four of the sixteen tactical di¬
visions composed entirely of regular
troops, with the District of Columbia
militia assigned to duty as regulars.
MOTHER AND CHILD KILLED
Mrs. Bessie Lyic and Daughter A ri
Thrown Under Trolley.
Atlanta.—Catapulted into the air
from the tonneau of an automobfce
and hurled underneath the tracks of
a trolley car when it collided with
her husband’s machine directly in the
front of their Luckie street home,
Mrs. Bessie Lyle and her two year
old daughter, Margaret, were killed,
as they started on a pleasure trip to
Athens.
Her husband, W. Richard, Lyle, who
was at the steering wheel of the fat|l
auto, and their other daughter, Olivia,
who sat beside her father upon the
front seat, escaped unhurt. The ma¬
chine was damaged badly and is an
almost complete wreck.
Two wheels of the forward trucks
of the trolley car passed over the
legs of the little girl, severing them
near the abdomen. The body of her
mother was wedged underneath the
front platform and dangerously near
the trucks. Mr. Lyle, seizing (#ie
small tire pack from the toolbox of
his wrecked automobile, ‘‘jacked” up
the forward end of the car to extri¬
cate his injured wife.
With Iron Hand Madero Strikes.
Mexico City.—The Mexican govern¬
ment is determined to carry out the
threat recently made to resume the
tactics employed so successfully by
General Robles in the state of More¬
los, some months ago, is indicated by
the report of the war department an¬
nouncing the total destruction of sev¬
eral small towns and villages in the
northern mountains of Oaxaca, where
the revolution has been rampant. Two
of the places destroyed were the
strongholds of the Zerrano Indians.
Convinced that the inhabitants of
these towns were completely in ac¬
cord with the rebels, orders were is¬
sued for their destruction. Without
even calling upon the inhabitatnts to
withdraw, the tartillery began its #mrk
and ceased only when the towns had
been reduced to a mass of ruins.
Father Causes Boy’s Death.
Mount Vernon, Ind.—Parental ad¬
monition resulted in the death of
Ralph Conner, aged 11. The boy and
his brother, McKinley, aged 14, were
going nutting. The father urged the
older boy to take a gun with them
to be used in case they should meet
a mad dog that had been terrorizing
the neighborhood. The boys had fill¬
ed up their sacks, and McKinley had
picked up the gun to start home,
when it was discharged, the contents
striking the younger brother in the
neck. He died in 30 minutes.
Storm Sweeps Over Jamaica,
Kingston, Jamaica. — The storm
which struck sections of Jamaica in¬
dicate that great damage has been
done. Banana planters seem to be
the heaviest losers, although railway
and telegraph properties also have
suffered greatly. Telegraph and rail¬
road communication generally is de¬
moralized, making it difficult to esti¬
mate the exact state of afffairs in
parts of the island. Reports say a
hurricane passed over the northwest
coast of Jamaica
Moonshine Leaders in Prison.
Nashville, Tenn.—Melvin Dodson
and Luther Roberts of Van Buren
county, alleged to be members of a
powerful gang of moonshiners, which
some months ago fought a desperate
battle with revenue officers, were
brought here and placed in jail. They
were indicted at the receni*session of
Federal court at Cookeville for at¬
tempting to assassinate G. S. Marsh,
a posseman. Both men were held in
the sum of $10,000 to answer to the
next term of Federal court.
FOLEY KIDNEY PILLS
Are Richest in Curative Qualities
FOR BACKACHE, RHEUMATISM.
KIDNEYS AND BLADDER
Make the Liver
Do its Duty
Nine times in ten when the liver is
right the stomach and bowels are right
CARTER’S LITTLE
UYER PILLS
gently pel butfirmly com
a lazy liver to
do its duty.
Cures Con¬
stipation, In¬
digestion,
Sick
Headache, . .
and Distress After Eating.
SMALL PILL, SMALL DOSE, SMALL PRICE.
Genuine must bear Signature
JUST WHAT THEY EXPECTED
Committee Made No Mistake When
They Looked for Almost Inevit¬
able Comment.
A committee of investigating scien¬
tists approached a lady.
“Madam,” said Professor Prewins,
the spokesman, offering her a magnifi¬
cent chrysanthemum of rare and love¬
ly hue. “Madam, permit me to pre¬
sent this flower to you an a token ol
our high regard.”
She clasped the splendid blossom in
her lily white hand.
Breathlessly the committee waited
her reply.
0 “How beautiful it is?” she answered.
“What an exquisite shade of purple!
1 should love to have a dress of that
color.”
Dr. Prewins nodded knowingly
to the committee, as if to say, “I told
you so.”
The committee winked to the pro¬
fessor and whispered, “You win.”
WISE FATHER.
Ailsa—What did papa say when you
asked him for my hand?
Alfred—He said he guessed I’d find
it in the pocket he carried his money
in.
Shop Talk.
The Inventor was talking to himself.
“What with my heatless light, my
leakless fixtures, my invisible ash
can and my disappearing bed, I have
made the life of the urbanite well
worth the living.”
“Wrong!” corrected the down¬
weighted Benedict. “You have yet to
perfect the footless meter and the
vanishing gas bill.”—Judge.
A Tender Point.
“What got you into trouble with
this policeman?” demanded the New
York judge.
“Just trying to ask him a civil ques¬
tion, your honor,” said the visitor,
“nothing more.”
“What was that question?"
“I just asked him when the next
official murder would be dragged off.”
Parched.
“He says she made his life a Sa¬
hara.”
“Maybe that’s why he has such a
terrible thirst.”
Explained.
“Why do epitaphs always begin,
‘Here lies—?’ ”
“Because the majority of them do.”
SCOFFERS
Often Make the Staunchest Converts.
The man who scoffs at an idea or
doctrine which he does not fully un¬
derstand has at least the courage to
show where be stands.
The gospel of Health has many con¬
verts who formerly laughed at the
idea that coffee and tea, for example,
ever hurt anyone. Upon looking into
the matter seriously, often at the sug¬
gestion of a friend, such persons
have found that Postum and a friend’s
advice have been their salvation.
“My sister was employed in an east¬
ern city where she had to do calculat¬
ing,” writes an Okla. girl. “She suf¬
fered with headache until she was al¬
most unfitted for duty.
“Her landlady persuaded her to quit
coffee and use Postum and In a few
days she was entirely free from head¬
ache.” (Tea is just as injurious as
coffee because it contains caffeine, the
same drug found in coffee.) “She told
her employer about it, and on trying
it, he had the same experience.
“My father and I have both suffered
much from nervous headache since I
can remember, but we scoffed at the
idea advanced by my sister, that cof¬
fee was the cause of our trouble.
“However, we finally quit coffee and
began using Postum. Father has had
but one headache now in four years,
due to a severe cold, and 1 have lost
my headaches and sour stomach,
which I am now convinced came from
coffee.
“A cup of good, hot Postum Is sat¬
isfying to me when I do not care ta
eat a meal. Circumstances caused
me to locate in a new country and \
feared I would not be able to get my
favorite drink, Postum, but I was
relieved to find that a full supply is
kept here with a heavy demand for
it” Name given by Postum Co.,
Battle Creek, Mich.
Read “The Road to Wellville,” in
pkgs. “There’s a reason.”
Ever read the above letter? A new
one appear* from time to time. They
are guanine true, and full of human
Interest. Adv.