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PAGE 4B
BARROW JOURNAL
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2008
Some items can turn your stomach
HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL
AHS girls battle lack of depth
I ’m very proud to have
been a baseball fan for
87.5% of my life.
It has opened my eyes to
a massive amount of philo
sophical insight (a la Pee Wee
Reese, Casey Stengel, Yogi
Berra and Harry Caray) and
overall made me, in no humil
ity whatsoever, a smarter per
son.
There is, however, one
thing that has been bother
ing me about the game for
years. Why is baseball the
only sports venue in which
gross behavior, manifested in
vulgar habits displayed on the
field and in the dugout, is not
only accepted, but expected?
These things I speak of are
a bit touchy to discuss in good
society: spitting, slobbering,
and adjusting one’s, ahem,
private parts. (Or, as I like to
refer to them, ssa.)
Spitting is an important part
of the game, nearly as impor
tant as the game itself. We
are able to see a myriad of
amateur, advanced and expert
spitters among the rosters of
all teams. Watch a game on
the television and you will
catch spittle being ejected with
practically every camera view.
That so much liquid is being
lost from the body through
spittle makes it amazing that
we don’t see more dehydra
tion in the big leagues.
I have watched for years
the great spitters in the game,
and by a wide margin, Boston
Manager Terry Francona is
baseball’s premier spitter.
Tito, as he is called by
those who like him, is a baby
boomer, which may explain
why he is such an accom
plished spitter. Born in 1959,
Terry is a second-generation
major leaguer; his father Tito
Francona played major league
ball for years (1967-69 for the
Atlanta Braves) and no doubt
taught Terry how to get the
best out
of every
drop of
moisture
in his
mouth.
I
recently
watched
a BoSox
game and
was abso-
1 u t e 1 y
mesmer
ized by the spitting exhibition
Terry put on. Spit was flowing
like the Mississippi River at
flood stage. Terry makes Old
Faithful look like a dripping
faucet — a magnificent work
of art.
Many years ago I worked on
the railroad and crewed with
a wonderful fellow named
Harry Bortmas.
Harry was a conductor,
and older gent, that we all
loved. Harry also chewed
tobacco. Harry’s affectionate
nickname was “slobber lip’’
due to the continuous drip of
brown juice that came slob
bering out of the corner of
his mouth. Baseball has many
slobber-lips. It has, however,
improved from years past. At
least now the players are able
to change out of their stained
shirts between innings.
Chipper is a great slobberer.
His method is to work up
a good load of spit, tilt his
head forward, horizontal with
the ground, and then, through
his patented release method,
slowly let the goop fall from
his mouth over a period of
30-40 seconds. The sight of
this nearly made me physi
cally ill once.
Men have a tough time
keeping all of their private
parts in the right place during
the game.
Those private parts pro
tected by a “cup’’ are excep
tionally difficult to manage.
The cup itself is uncomfort
able and unyielding, and the
private parts lying beneath
the protective cup are next to
impossible to shift once the
cup is in place.
Hence, one can see ball
players continually attempting
to get their private parts in a
comfortable position through
out the game.
Someone really needs to
talk to Mark Teixeira about
this. Every time the camera
focuses in on Tex, one can see
him trying to arrange his cup
and that which lies under. It is
becoming rather embarrass
ing for us men to continually
explain to our spouses just
why a guy has to do this
seemingly all the time.
Baseball is the only sport
I know that has allowed this
behavior to continue and
blossom. One does not see
football players slobbering all
over their jerseys. Basketball
players do not spit on the
court. I have yet to see a PGA
pro adjust his private parts.
I’ve not seen NASCAR driv
ers emerge from their car in
the winner’s circle spitting,
slobbering or adjusting their
private parts (ssa).
The purpose of this col
umn and the delicate subject
within was two-fold: first, to
acknowledge to women that
we men realize that it all
does look quite horrid, and,
secondly, to simply explain
why ballplayers have to ssa.
Spitting is manly, slobbering
is both Neanderthal and stud-
ly, and adjusting the private
parts, well, that’s simply a
man-thing. Yes sir. A smarter
person.
John Rieken is an avid
baseball fan and contribut
ing columnist for the Barrow
Journal. E-mail comments
about this column to jrieken@
windstream.net.
STILL WORKING
Ashley Phommaly and the
AHS Lady Wildcats are
looking to end a three-
game skid.
Photo by Jessica Brown
BY CHRIS BRIDGES
An 11-point win Saturday
helped the Apalachee High
School boys basketball team
even their season record at
2-2.
Coach Kevin Morris’ squad
took a 68-57 victory against
Salem as Chaun Gresham
poured in 22 points and pulled
down 12 rebounds. John
Ansley added 13 points and
six assists
“You can see the progress
we are making,” Morris said.
“We want to keep working
and keep improving for tour
nament time.”
DeVaughn Kilgore and
BY CHRIS BRIDGES
A brutal strech of opponents
as well as a lack of depth
have spelled trouble for the
Apalachee High School Lady
Wildcats basketball team in
recent outings.
AHS has fallen to Salem
(67-44), Loganville (74-36)
and Rockdale County (73-51)
in its past three contests as
coach Michael Parks contin
ues to work with a young
squad.
“Salem had a height advan
tage on us,” Parks said of
Saturday’s contest. “They
were able to wear us down
with their size.”
The Lady Wildcat coach
said his team only had 18
turnovers which considering
the fact Salem pressed the
entire game was not a high
number.
“In the end, their height just
killed us because they were
At A Glance: Clayton
AHS @ Hart Barber
County, Saturday, b ot h added
6 p.m. 10 points in
the win.
With the
season still at a relatively
young stage, Morris said his
players are to the point where
they are getting in complete
basketball shape.
“Chaun is playing a lot of
minutes as is John Ansley,”
the coach said. “DeVaughn
missed two weeks of practice
after his hip flexer. He wasn’t
able to do much condition
ing so I was really concerned
about him.”
able to get several points off
putbacks,” Parks said. “We
are facing so many legitimate
teams night in and night out.”
In Saturday’s game against
Salem, which AHS led
15-12 after the first quarter,
Ashley Goley and Kelsey
Montgomery both finished
with a team-high 11 points
while Lacresha Mayweather
added 10.
“The competition we are
facing is just so strong,” Parks
said. “It’s not that we are a
bad team.”
AHS was off Tuesday and is
preparing for Saturday’s game
at Hart County (6 p.m.). The
Lady Wildcats split with Hart
last season when Apalachee
was in Class AAA.
Parks said going in the
contest, his team will once
again have to contend with
the height advantage of an
opponent.
win Saturday
Kilgore returned to action
for Apalachee Friday in a close
85-81 setback to Loganville
on the road.
The Wildcats also dropped
an 81-63 contest to Rockdale
County last Tuesday.
Up next for Apalachee is
Hart County, a AAA foe.
“It will be a tough, non
region game,” Morris said.
“They will play the style most
of the teams in our region play
so that will help us later in the
year. They are going to press
and play up-tempo. It will
help us prepare for region. It
is going to be great for us to
play them.”
www.BarrowJournal.com
Wildcats rebound to record
you caN eai
HeaLTHY
DUriNG
THe HOLID0YS!
BARROW
Regional Medical Center
LeT US SHOW YOU HOW!
it’s not what you eat - it’s HOW MUCH & WHEN
* Before a holiday event, eat a snack or light meal.
Foods high in protein,
like chicken or cottage cheese,
help you to eat less later
* Fasting before a big meal
or extra trips to the buffet
may lead you to overeat.
* Eat smaller portions of food. A buffet doesn’t
mean try everything! Choose the items you want
to try the most, and eat a small portion of each.
# After a meal, go for a walk
with your family to see
holiday displays
in your neighborhood.
* Be realistic.
Don't try to diet during the holidays; just aim to
maintain your present weight.
NEW YE AR CELEBRATION
Carnival & Masquerade
Masquerade
Package
$659.oo Per Couple + tax
King Room +
Special Gift
December 31st, 2008
7:00 P.M.' 1:00 A.M.
Carnival
Package
$499.oo Per Couple + tax
Double - Double Room
December 31st, 2008
7:30 P.M. -12:30 A.M.
Party takes place in the Winery
Overnight Accommodations for 1 Night
at the Inn in a room with two Double
Beds ... Five Hours Open Bar with
Deluxe Cocktails ... Three Course
Sit-Down Dinner with Wine Service ...
Live DJ ... Party Favors ... Midnight
Toast and Celebration... New Year’s Day
Breakfast Buffet... Late Checkout 3 p.m.
Party takes place at the Inn
Overnight Accommodations for 1 Night
at the Inn in a room with a King Bed ...
Welcome Reception with Hors
D’oeuvres... Six Hours Open Bar with
Premium Cocktails ... Four Course
Sit-Down Dinner with Wine Service ...
Live Music by “Party Nation” ... Party
Favors ... Midnight Toast and Celebra
tion ... New Year’s Day Breakfast Buffet
... Late Checkout 3 p.m.
HOTELS & RESORTS
Reservations
678-425-0900 x 41
Book Online at www.chateauelan.com
I * Information courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health & Human Services
Book early for Golf & Spa availability.
1 100 Rue Charlemagne, Braselton Georgia 30517 / 1-800-233-WINE
1-85 Exit 126 - 30 Minutes North of Atlanta