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HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL Man-woman fight brings up 2 questions to start Dear Mr. Rockefeller. 1 reported my boyfriend for abuse because we were fighting and he hit me. Now I want to with draw the charges but the police insist on keeping it open. What can l do? Dear Reader. Your question is particularly timely, given that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month I have two questions for you - Why did you fight and why do you want to withdraw the charges? Domestic Violence is a pattern of abuse, not a one-time incident. Since the abuse is physical, I suspect your boyfriend has probably been abusing you for several months. Maybe Add value to others, self I just attended the annual “Catalyst Conference.” Maybe you’ll go with me next year - Thursday and Friday, Oct. 9 and 10, 2008. The Catalyst Conference is designed for young leaders. I’m an old guy when I’m sit ting in the crowd. But inspi ration is not reserved for the young - I left inspired! All of the speakers are Christian leaders. Some serve in full-time Christian ministry. Others are lead ers in secular roles, fulfilling their responsibilities follow ing Christian principles. John Maxwell and Andy Stanley started the annual gathering of young Christian leaders eight years ago. They may have spoken at each year’s event - I know they presented at the three I attended. This year, Andy Stanley, Erwin McManus, Dave Ramsey, and Reggie Joyner (other presenters) gave a special “Catalyst Lifetime Award” to John Maxwell for his impact as a teacher of leaders. I looked up the books Maxwell has written - I lost count somewhere beyond 30. Emotionally touched, Maxwell said he could not recall having prayed as hard over any previous presenta tion as he did for his remarks this year. He said that as he "We are blessed with leadership responsibilities so that we may serve, not that we may be served!" ,■ i. 1111. i n ymn. ,.» ygmmpin. >r mm< Are you 18 years or older and suffering from | I*#**"*" 1 We may have the answer to your problem. Call today (478) 825-3317 for more information. (478) 825*3317 • 201 Av.ra Otm * Fort VbHty, GA 31030 you NEED these charges fully pros ecuted te protect you from him. Did you start the fight or do you just “feel” that you were respon sible” Exploring why things happened, and looking at your own behavior, wiiU hetp you figure out what to do If you genuinely started things, you might treed counseling to figure out why you acted inappropriately; if you only feel that you did, ages, he becomes less cer tain of many things. Yet some aware nesses become even more certain. One of those things is the topic ho chose to address: “Intentionally add value to people every day!“ He said that Jesus did that, giving a new sense of hope to many. If Jesus is our role model, then we are to serve those we influence every day Maxwell offered four thoughts about how to add value to others. Start by valuing oth ers. Jesus valued people. While the Pharisees and Sadducees were having their ministerial meetings, Jesus was serving tax collectors and hookers, the poor, and the sick. Jesus knew their hearts. He knew they need ed a grace-filled reconcilia tion with their creator. Add value to self. Leaders who add value to others are constantly seek ing growth experiences. They discover their spiritual gifts and cultivate them. Leaders seek to improve the methods by which they can serve. They give away the insights and perspec tives they’ve gained. Listen to what other people value. Leaders cart enough to ask. They have listened and learned what’s important to each person in their sphere of influence, They offer compassiun. They celebrate successes. They recognize the uniqueness of each person and his or her situation, Michael W. Early, Sr., MD Cyndi Williams-Green, PA-C, Physician Assistant Rheumatoid Arthritis even though you are taking Methotrexate? EARLY Family Practice Center jftwt Ros'h'fWtke IVaois Hooper l y-frfc you might need counseling hi break out of the cycle of vhdenoc. If the last comment is true, I am particularly con cerned for you. Breaking a cycle of violence is ext remely difficult for a survivor. You are probably isolated; maybe your boyfriend has told you that your mother is selfish and only wants to hurt you, that your friends are immor al harpies, and that, all you should need is his love. He plies you to adopt this attitude of isolation with meaningless platitudes <right before telling you how worthless you are) and with simple gestures you take as hive, like buying you flowers Ik the things God values. Maxwell is deeply aware of those things that have eternal consequences. Holding back the tears, Maxwell acknowledged, “Soon my life will pass. Only what 1 do fer Jesus will last. If you value people, and if you want to add value, pray with them.” And then he prayed over the 11,000 lead ers gathered in the Gwinnet Center arena. We humans are selfish, so we tend to put the focus of our attention on ourselves. It is easy (and sinftil) for leaders to use their position, opportunity; or insights for themselves or against oth ers, If we are not intentional and conscious about adding value to people, our “human nature” will tend to take from people, We are blessed with lead ership responsibilities so that we may serve, not that we may be served! This is htfrnninjArti fret audition tcreenlngt ter pottlbtc future cutting en itijt, TV,video, end advertising •Kid* • Pre-teens i • Tttn* })( Saturday, October «0 flO Cherter lane, Mtcon . svitvr* m tv 10 f«v Help build our Talent iartkl £ I OPINION or a puppy, but which are only gifts to bribe you into joining him in a sick rela tionship. Perhaps you feel have no one to turn to for advice. This sense of aloneness is likely driving you to want to drop the charges so you can take your boyfriend back. How can you bear his guilt-laden collect calls from jail? He sounds so sincere in his promises not to do this again. How will you pay the hills? Who will tell you what to do? You may have for gotten how to he your oWn person. What, then, are your options? Dropping the charg es is not one of them, as the a perspective quite differ ent from that advocated by much of “the real world.” Yet I have found those lead ers who understand and live the concept to be hugely effective. Consider trying it! If you want to know more about the Catalyst Conference, contact Dennis Hooper at 478-988-0237 or at dhooper2lfljuno.com. Or look up www.catalystconfer ence.com on the internet. MIKMIiI l Store Hours Mon-Sat: 6am-10pm (Old Sind Store) . Sun: Bam-Bpm ' Ml Providing Best Quality Food Serviced From Our Deli To Our Fellow Neighborhoom \J\le serve breakfast, lunch and owner Phone-In Orders welcome. Hrs: 6:3oam-9:3opm o ©azo @§2 BP® Gas Service & Convenience Store Items M mmm 0± 0m 0m ju 0m 0m 0* 0 otm o*. gum 1 m a 4 4*"% A .4Z.8-98J42QQ^1 2B5MM HOMES AS LOW AS $49 SQ^FT. s,a,, 'y, J:/' ■ I X. ' ■■ %i, , ■ifr'f' "'t// m tfcSagr J kJBSI Call Today For Free Pre-Qualification We Find Ways To Approve More Loans Than Any Other Custom Home Builder Over 35 Years Of Custom Home Building Experience 900-4,000+ Sq. Ft. 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However, if you do need help and protection, the Judge WILL probably sentence him to prison. You can also obtain a Family Violence Protective Order with the free services offered by the Safe House (923-6294) and HODAC (953-5675) or by hiring an attorney. No matter what, you Assessing Your Leadership Skills -SBS/person I FREE FIREPLACE value Offer Available Until 11/30/07 SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2007 ♦ hhjnews.com F. Dennis Hooper Certified Leadership Development Coach Building leaders and organizations of excellence (478) 988-0237 AM E . R pLACE Custom Horn# Builders MUST figure out a way to regain some self-esteem, so that you can move on to a better life and let the sys tem treat your boyfriend with the justice he deserves. PLEASE live your life with head held high! Local attorney Jim Rockefeller owns the Rockefeller Law Center and is a former Chief Assistant District Attorney for Houston County, and a former Florida Assistant State Attorney. E-mail con fidential legal questions to ajr@rockefellerlawcenter. com. Visit www.rockefeller lawcenter.com for past col umns and Frequently Asked Questions. dhooper2fajuno.com 4 5A 54338