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8A ♦ WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2007 Lenient parenting is common mistake for adopted children QUESTION: We have an adopted girl who came to us when she was 4 years old. She is very dis f i - cult to handle and does pretty much what she pleases. For us to make m *!■ Dr. James Dobson Focus on the Family her obey would be very unpleasant for her, and frankly, we don’t feel we have the right to do that. She has been through a lot in her short life. Besides, we’re not her real parents. Do you think she’ll be OK if we just give her a lot of love and attention? DOBSON: I’m afraid you have a formula for serious problems with this girl later on. The danger is in seeing yourselves as substitute or stand-in parents who don’t have the right to lead her. That is a mistake. Since you have legally adopted this GDOT From page iA and travel information statewide, such as traffic conditions, incidents, lane closures, construction, and LETTER 2 From page 6A The creation of a Humane Society by dedicated citizens should try to locate the own ers of strays and euthanize STUDENT From page iA after winning, to a crowd of nearly 7,000. She will go on to compete in the national competition AHMM OP HfiW jf 7 !Military J , I 'rf, Discount With Military I.D. ? iiveniently located at Exit 146 off 1-75,12017 Watson Bird, Warner Robins, GA»47B-654-6600 "Transplanted children have the same needs for guidance and discipline as those remaining with their biological parents." child, you are her “real” parents, and your failure to see it that way may be set ting up the defiant behavior you mentioned. It is a common error made by parents of older adopted children. They pity their youngsters too much to confront them. They feel that life has already been too hard on them and they must not make things worse by discipline and occasional punishment. As a result, they are ten tative and permissive with a child who is crying out for leadership. Transplanted children have the same needs for guidance and discipline as those remaining with their biological parents. One of the surest ways to make them feel insecure is to treat them as though they are dif ferent, unusual or brittle. delays due to bad weather. Callers can also reach live operators to request assistance or report inci dents 24 hours a day, seven days a week. More information is available at www.sllga.org. those animals whose owners remain unknown. Or that they can no longer deal with due to space limitations, etc., plus anything else. Frank W. Gadbois, Warner Robins next summer. Ray is the daughter of Robert and Karen Ray of Perry, and granddaughter of Robert Ray of Ft Valley and Jean Ray of Perry, Maternal grandparents and Bob and Elaine Cochran of Reynolds. If the parents view such a child as an unfortunate waif to be shielded, he will tend to see himself that way too. Parents of sick and handi capped children often make this same mistake. They find discipline hard er to implement because of the tenderness they feel for that child. Thus, a boy or a girl with a heart condi tion or some serious illness can become a little terror, simply because the usual behavioral boundaries are not established and defend ed. It must be remembered that the need to be led and governed is almost univer sal in childhood, and it isn’t lessened by other problems and difficulties in life. In some cases, the desire for boundaries is actually increased by other troubles, for it is through loving con- MURDER Frcm page iA linked Free’s DNA to the crime scene, the police report reads. Free is now being held . J * U j lEiciafee in qtstliigifetei^s, m pecans p!ss n s^ c ; -Sft-v !j 11022 II wy .Ul'lnrtinllri.C.i Until ripti 47,<1 <(>7.0750 or l-USS-G I I Rt '// RMfytnbMj Visit our mwfy remodeled irtbs&e at: hb yMm&'rn wwe.pwimfam.ewu JL Excellent jrfV Selection Of JJ Fine Wines fit ■ »jo3k OPINION trol that parents build secu rity and a sense of personal worth in a child. Returning to the ques tion, I advise you to love that little girl like crazy - and hold her to the same standards of behavior that you would your own flesh and blood. Remember, you are her parents! QUESTION: Since you disapprove of pub lic school sex-education programs as currently designed, who do you think should tell chil dren the facts of life and when should that instruction begin? DOBSON: For those par ents who are able to handle the instructional process correctly, the responsibil ity for sex education should be retained in the home. There is a growing trend for all aspects of education to be taken from their hands (or the role is deliberately forfeited by them). This is unwise. Particularly in the matter of sex education, the best approach is one that begins casually and naturally in early childhood and extends at the Houston County Jail without bond. Detective Sgt. Scott McSwain of the Warner Robins Police Department Criminal Investigation Division is conducting the investigation. He can be reached at 447-6705. /0Q Our business is to make your business look good, always in good taste through the years, accord ing to a policy of openness, frankness and honesty. Only parents can provide this life time training - being there when the questions arise and the desire for informa tion is evidenced. Unfortunately, moms and dads often fail to do the job. Some are too sexually inhib ited to present the subject with poise, or they may lack the necessary techni cal knowledge of the human body. Another common mistake is to wait until puberty is knocking at the door and »«&■ Ml* • : nous 1 Bill j7B-<JB7ifßll feß66-873-*2172l "Have Cameras, Will Travel" <vK TURNER vv> PHOTOGRAPHY Serial Photography Brad Turner-478-922-1633cr 478-464-6861 ,1 _£_A_M _ A _ M - M RflPiKa* rBPBC*** FRESH AIR PURIFIERS 1 j There’s nothing quite like walking outside and taking L if T*| a deep breath of fresh, clean air after a thunderstorm. ■— ~ i Wouldn’t you like to be able to step back inside and enjoy that same fresh air all the time? We would like to introduce you to Fresh Air by Eco Quest: By duplicating the same processes nature uses to clean the air outside, Fresh Air by Eco Quest™ keeps indoor air fresh and clean smelling day and night. Collectively known as SynAirG™, these processes work together synergistically to eliminate smoke and odors as well as kill bacteria, mold and mildew in unoccupied areas. Call NOW for a FREE trial offer! p^p e dean water, fresh air is Independent Distributor essential to our well being. Now, Elton & Vemeaze Tucker Q having the fresh air you want is (478) 923-6187 888 as easy as pressing a button when , (478)923-4111 ~T it’s Fresh Air by Eco Quest™ < www.TryFreshAif.com/eltoiituckcr * Visit Our New St °JSBI i JUST IN TIME FOR THE , ’•[HOLIDAYS' . . mmm HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL the kid and exhausts the parents. If this is the way sex edu cation is going to be han dled, there has to be anoth er alternative to consider. Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO. 80903; or www.family. org. Questions and answers are excerpted from The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide and Bringing Up Boys, both published by Tyndale House. [MATTRESS SETS j Supreme Bedding: Twin $109: Full $129: Qn. $179: King $239: We also have Frames & Pillowtops. PASS THE BUCK 121 Booker St. Warner Robins, 1 block from Hwy 247 M off Green St. I » 478-923-8141 » J 154336 56624