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HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL Letting go of kids is hard, but has many rewards QUESTION: I have found it very hard to turn loose of my kids and face the empty nest. I know I need to release them but it is so difficult. Can you help me? DR. DOBSON: Humorist Erma Bombeck described this difficult process in terms that were helpful to me. She said the task of rais ing kids is rather like trying to fly a kite on a day when the wind doesn’t blow. Mom and Dad run down the road pulling the cute little device at the end of a string. It bounces along the ground and shows no inclination of getting off the ground. Eventually and with much effort, they manage to lift it fifteen feet in the air, but great danger suddenly looms. The kite dives toward elec trical lines and twirls near trees. It is a scary moment. Will they ever get it safely on its way? Then, unexpectedly, a gust of wind catch- Horoscopes warn of naked busdriver Many people believe in horo scopes, and that astrology controls their fate. While I respect these folks’ person- al beliefs, I don’t really buy into it. When I asked my Magic 8-Ball if astrology has any bearing on our lives, it said, “My sources say no.” Whatever your beliefs, there are few men, women, or household pets alive who haven’t Len Robbins Columnist airpub@planttei.net once scanned, or urinated on, a news paper horoscope. For the record, I’ve done both. At a newspaper I worked at Jong ago, I was the person respon sible for placing the horoscopes in the paper. One day, the horoscopes did not arrive as scheduled. They were some how scrambled in the modem from the company of prophets that sent them to us daily. Perhaps, if I had The greatest gift is teaching At a Thanksgiving luncheon, I was holding my 18- month-old nephew, Tripp, as I visited tables to speak to folks. I stopped and greet ed a friend, patting him on his back. Tripp watched quiet ly then leaned PPMHRPP ; Ronda Rich Dixie Divas down, stretching out his lit tle arm and patted Billy, too, in that awkward, uncoordi nated way that babies have. I chuckled, realizing that Tripp had simply emulated what he had seen me do. See, children are like that. They, more often than not, simply grow up imitating those they watch. Good or bad. Every Christmas, I find myself imitating adults who used Christmas as a time of kindness and gen erosity. Last week, I men tioned that there are two particular Christmas memo ries that link arms and skip through my memory every Yule Tide season. My heart always warms at thoughts of Daddy’s many generosities but mostly I am humbled by what I watched happen repeatedly, especially when he gave what he didn’t real ly have to give. Amazingly, whatever he had given away came back to him many times over. “You can’t out give God,” Daddy always said. “Just try to out give him.” He’d wink in that smart aleck way he sometimes had. “I dare you.” So, each Christmas, I think often of that finan cially bleak year when he had given away part of his property tax money because he found someone who need ed it more than he. By that evening, God, not to be out es the kite and it sails upward. Mom and Dad feed out line as rapidly as they can. The kite begins pull ing the string, making it diffi cult to hold on. Inevitably, they reach the end of their line. What should they do now? The kite is demanding more freedom. It wants to go higher. Dad stands on his tip toes and raises his hand to accom modate the tug. It is now grasped tenuously between his index finger and thumb, held upward toward the sky. Then the moment of release comes. The string slips through his fingers, and the kite soars majestically into God’s beau tiful sky. Mom and dad stand gazing at "Whatever your beliefs, there are few men, women, or household pets alive who haven't once scanned, or urinated on, a newspaper horoscope." checked my horoscope the day before, I would have seen that coming. Anyway, under the siege of dead line, I grabbed the horoscope from the day before, borrowed from its verbiage, spiced it up a little, and basically wrote the horoscope that day myself. It went as follows: ARIES: Stress independence, neu trality, eagerness. Don’t wear brown shoes. They make your ankles look like tree stumps. TAURUS: You will find laughter today. Unfortunately, it will be at your expense. Check zipper periodi cally. given, had sent back the money in the form of busi ness. As much as I love that story from childhood, there is another that still moves me as deeply as it did the December afternoon that it happened when I was five. The memory is so power ful that it still easily coaxes tears from my eyes. Remember dime stores? The predecessors to dollar stores? Mama and I were shopping a few days before Christmas in an old-fash ioned one with ancient, unvarnished hardwood floors that were oiled reg ularly and creaked might ily. It was fascinating with its endless rows of trinkets and sparkling items. While Mama shopped for Christmas odds and ends, I wandered around the magical, dimly lighted store until she called, “C’mon. I’m ready to check out.” Running my fingers across the edge of the display tables, I trailed behind her to the check-out. A young man, perhaps 17 or 18, was handing his merchandise to the clerk. There were a couple of costume baubles, a bottle of cologne and a scarf of which he seemed particu larly proud as he tenderly handed it to the clerk. It was obvious, even to a child, that he was doing his Christmas shopping. I folded my arms, placed them on the counter and rested my chin there as I watched him. Excited, he waited as she rang it up. “That’ll be $4.87.” Carefully, he counted out dollar bills and change. Suddenly, panic sprang across his face. He didn’t have enough. “Oh no,” he whispered. “That’s all I’ve got.” The derk shrugged. “Well, you’ll just have to put some thin’ back.” Tears welled in his eyes. See RICH, page 148 their precious “baby” who is now gleaming in the sun, a mere pin point of color on the horizon. They are proud of what they’ve done - but sad to realize that their job is finished. It was a labor of love. But where did the years go? That is where you are today - standing on tiptoes and stretch ing toward the sky with the end of the string clutched between your fingers. It’s time to let go. And when you do, you’ll find that a new relationship will be bom. Your parenting job is almost over. In its place will come a friendship that will have its own rewards. Remember: the kite is going to break free, one way or the other. It’s best that you release it when the time is right! QUESTION: You have recom mended for many years that parents take their pre-teens away from home for what you called a “Preparing for Dr. James Dobson Focus on the Family U* | www.hhc.org I IS ft;/ . •¥ FOR GOOD HEALTH The new Houston Healthcare website has the information you need to take control of your health. There’s a wealth of information online just waiting for you to discover: Need a Doctor? Our extensive online directory lets you search by location, specialty or name. Our Services. Learn more about our services: from education classes to imaging services and ER to rehabilitation, our number one goal has always been our community’s health. And there's so much more... go online to find out how we keep you healthy. OPINION GEMINI: Pisces plays prominent role in transaction. Watch out for naked busdriver. He can’t be trust ed. CANCER: Remember - to get a smile, you must give a smile. Man with hat wants to kill you. LEO: Utilize your people skills to win new friends. You will not hear something very important due to ear wax buildup. VIRGO: Close relative is in need of your advice. You’ll be chosen for the lead role in “The Man from LaMancha.” LIBRA: Temperamental Leo says, “You sure are lucky to know me!” You’ll knock him upside the head with a paint bucket. SCORPIO: Attention revolves around domestic situation. Whatever you do - don’t go outside. SAGITTARIUS: Former teacher will play a role. She now works for the IRS. Deny everything. That pink stuff in your attic is not cotton candy - don’t eat it. CAPRICORN: Lunar aspect Adolescence” weekend, dur ing which they talk about the physical and emotional chang es about to occur. I’m interest ed in your comment that kids want this information before they become teenagers, but they won’t want to talk about it after puberty. Do their atti tudes really change that much overnight? DR. DOBSON: As a mat ter of fact, they do. A study of 1,023 children between 10 and 13 showed that the number who felt uncomfortable talking to their parents about sexuality nearly doubled after puberty occurred. Prior to that, they were very open to instruction and guidance at home. Ninety- three percent of those aged 10-12 felt loved by their parents “all the time,” says Dr. Alvin Poussaint, a psychiatrist at Harvard University. He said, “I think parents may be surprised coincides with physical attraction, participation in creative endeavor, whatever that means. Horshack from “Welcome Back Kotter” plays role. AQUARIUS: Emphasis on finan cial power, marital status, Viking food. Watch sky for falling anvil. PISCES: Absolutely nothing will happen to you today. IF YOUR BIRTHDAY IS TODAY: Scorpio, Taurus persons play outstanding role in your life. Attitude toward others undergoes transformation due to incident with left-handed rake. During coming year, you will meet long-lost sibling you didn’t know you had (Hint: He works at Shoney’s). You will be one year older today than you were yes terday. Close relative will make call to you. Cake plays prominent role. As astrology would have it, a cou ple of days later, I (of the astrological sign Cancer) did have a man with a hat who wanted to kill me. He was a Virgo and was rather upset that he didn’t get the lead role in “The Man from LaMancha.” Manage Your Health. We put the tools in your hands to access your own interactive health record. Get health information tailored just for you. It’s all here at the new www.hhc.org! WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2007 ♦ that children of this age are say ing, “We want to be close to you. We need you and we’re still afraid. We need the sense of safety and security that you supply.” The study showed, however, that atti tudes changed dramatically when the children reached the eighth grade. Those who had been open to advice the year before were suddenly unwilling to talk to their parents. The window of accessibil ity had closed. The moral to the story? Invest a little time in the months before puberty to get your children ready for the stresses of adolescence. The effort will pay big dividends. Dr. Dobson is founder and chair man of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995 (www.family.org). Questions and answers are excerpted from Solid Answers and Bringing Up Boys, both published by Tyndale House. Houston Healthcare SAY From page 6A which as a minimum we would think the FBI or Homeland Security raise an eyebrow over. Yes, he’s a decorated vet but then so are many of us - and you - and yes, he’s done/doing some great work in regard to multiple sclerosis, which he report edly has, but does that make him above all oth ers? If anything we would argue that - being a role model - makes him more accountable. The point is there is a major double standard out there (no, we’re not naive enough to believe we’re telling you anything new). Taking responsibility for your actions. Punishment, or rather a lack of it, is not relevant to what you say or do, it is only relevant to who you are. 7A 57275