Newspaper Page Text
HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL
If it's got doggie biscuits, you can bank on it
Dixie Dew and I quit a
bank I’ve been doing
business with for 15
years, marking the first time
in 20 years that I have closed
a financial account.
They ran out of doggie bis
cuits one time too many.
Obviously, I’m pretty loyal.
It takes a lot to run me off.
But to add insult to injury, the
tellers always laughed when
they announced, “We’re out
of treats.”
I don’t want to bank with
mean people who laugh at
a precious dachshund whose
head is hanging over the
window with pleading eyes.
One who pitifully crawls
back over to her seat and
withdraws sadly as though
her heart will never mend. I
figure if they’re jovial about
that, they’ll be dancing in the
Feel the burn; but not when eating pizza
The one thing I
learned in taking an
entire year of Italian
in college is that I could take
an entire year of a college
level course and not learn
a thing, despite attending
class sometimes and manag
ing passing marks.
I decided to take Italian as
my foreign language require
ment based on the logical
premise that I love Italian
food, and thus the language
would come as easily to me
as spaghetti to my stomach.
Como estaban planeadas
(things didn’t work out as
planned).
In subsequent years, I have
found that my Italian tal
ent lies not in the lingo, but
rather the linguine.
My specialty is pizza
- homemade pizza. For
clarity’s sake, my definition
of “homemade” is that it’s
made in the home. In eat
ing my pizza at least twice a
week, one problem that we
have run into is how to avoid
burning the roof of your
mouth when eating pizza.
Why we as a society haven’t
addressed this wretching
issue is simply inexcusable. I
really think this topic should
be taught in our schools.
I spent a year in Home
Economics in eighth grade,
and not one word was said
about how to eat pizza with
out burning the roof of your
mouth. All I did was make an
apron that mysterious disap
peared after I presented it
to my mother as a birthday
gift.
Think of the pain we
wouldn’t have had to endure
if just a little educational
time was spent on how to eat
a pizza safely. Pizza is some
thing we must contend with
daily, unlike subtraction or
now
you can find us in
wamer robins
MACON CARDIOVASCULAR INSTITUTE 1
is pleased to announce the opening I
of our new office in Warner Robins A
320 Margie Drive
seeing patients now
call to schedule an appointment
478-971-8293
JOE H. JOHNSON, MD
RANDALL B. BROWN, MD
RICHARD L. HARVEY, MD
MAURICE M. SOLIS, MD
. J. ALLEN STEVICK.MD
JAMES L. FOSTER. JR., MD
JUANAYERDI.MI)
NICKY L. PIPKIN,MD
D. ANTONY HAMILTON, MD
575 First Street, Macon 478-743-9762
750 North Cobb St., Ste. 150, Milledgeville 888-743-9762
320 Margie Drive, Warner Robins 478-971-8293 • wr@maconcvi.org
ll
aisles with
joy if
someone
misses a
credit card
payment.
If that
happened,
they’d
probably
make you
Ronda Rich
“Dixie Divas”
sit in a corner and memorize
their annual report.
This particular bank
branch is within 30 yards of
four stores. Had they truly
cared about customer ser
vice, the problem could have
been solved quickly and con
veniently. Ninety five percent
of customer service is about
small things because most
customers never need any
thing of huge significance.
A while back, I had din-
Science or
English,
which I
doesn’t
even use
oftener.
Meanwhile,
millions
suffer
daily from
those
small blis
ters just
*****
/(.• iM
l i
Len Robbins
Columnist
airpub@planttel.net
behind your top teeth. It’s
an international disgrace.
Not much has been written
on the matter, so as is my
custom, I am here to help. I
have come up with two ways
you can eat a slice of pizza
without burning the roof of
your mouth.
1. The Sandwich Method.
What burns your mouth
when you eat pizza is the hot
cheese and sauce. One way
to ‘avoid your mouth touch
ing those areas is to fold the
Estate Auction
Saturday Jan. 26,2008
Preview 9AM, Auction 10AM
3000 Coleman Drive, Warner Robins
[Close to Wal-Mart on Russell Parkway]
Contents of Large Home Plus Contents of Workshop
Hundreds of Household Items
Partial List: Large Screen TV, Two (2) Refrigerators, Freezer,
Washer, Dryer, Like New Bedroom Furniture, Antique Clock,
Living Room Furniture, Dolls, Patio Furniture, Hunting Rifles,
Kitchen Items and Many Box Lots
Works Shop Items: Collection of Craftsman Tools.
Partial List: Two (2) Lawn and Garden Tractors, Outdoor
Vacuum, Backpack Blower, Eight (8) Inch Grinder, Band Saw,
Jointer Planer, Tiller, Pressure Washer, Log Splitter, Table Saw,
Metal Lathe, Two Air Compressors, Large Tool Cabinet and
Hand Tools.
Terms: Cash or Good Check, 10% Buyer's Premium,
All Items Must Be Removed Date of Sale.
Auctioneer: Roger Dunn, AU002184
For Information, Call 478-956-4266
MACON /fl j r
LardioV^^W^
V i n/s j&f'Aurr E
www.rijiacoijicvi.org
COMMENTARY
ner in Palm Springs, Calif.,
with several folks, includ
ing the chairman of one of
the nation’s most prominent
banking companies. He sat
next to me. Through the
course of the evening, we
became chums.
“Do you bank with us?” he
asked. I have learned that
if you sit next to a company
executive during a meal, he
or she will always ask if you
use their products or servic
es. I hesitated then shook my
head, smiling in a consoling
fashion. “You don’t give dog
gie biscuits,” I replied softly.
His eyebrows flew up and
he looked genuinely baffled.
“What?”
I explained that Dew and
I always choose our banks
- and we use more than one
- based on who gives doggie
pizza slice in half, basically
creating a pizza sandwich.
Pro: Diminishes the prob
ability of burning the roof of
your mouth. Crust usually
doesn’t cause much blister
ing.
Con: In creating the “pizza
sandwich,” the cheese, sauce,
and other toppings often fall
out and on to your shirt,
blouse, or, for residents of
Alabama, your bare chest.
Those blisters hurt too.
2. The Waiting Method.
With this method, you
“wait” until the pizza has
cooled considerably, then eat
it.
Pro: Allowing the tempera
ture of the steaming cheese
and sauce to diminish sig
nificantly reduces the threat
of burning the roof of your
mouth.
Con: It is difficult for any
living being to resist the
alluring temptation of a hot
biscuits. A week after Palm
Springs, I got a handwritten
note from the bank chair
man. “Thank you,” he wrote.
“We are now giving doggie
biscuits throughout our com
pany. Someone here should
have thought of that.”
So, after seeing Dew grave
ly disappointed on repeated
treat-less trips to the bank,
I could take it no longer.
A mother just can’t watch
her child suffer repeatedly.
Aggravated, I drove away
and headed to two banks
across the street. I marched
into both and announced I
was looking at moving an
account over. Bankers love
this. Fresh meat. So, they
swarmed around me happily.
“I have an important ques
tion,” I said to one.
She smiled and nodded. “I
pizza fresh out of the oven
or box. Why this temptation
is not even mentioned in the
Bible, I do not know. You
think they would have it in
there.
I hope that helps. People
should be able to eat a pizza
without enduring a boiling
blister. By utilizing one of
these two methods, perhaps
I can ease the world’s suffer
ing - one slice at a time.
Bon Appetit!
jjTN
FAIRFIELD FINANCIAL
“A Subsidiary of Security Bank'”
Call Wallace Martin
953-7400
Apply Online: www.myfairfieldmortgage.com/wallacem
tEr
KQUAL HOUSING
OPPORTUNITY
lesMpss
J
V * THE «\ f
V * s > <«** e,v/r TOD b*J£. ‘
>|" '■> • '•'V sf -f ■;
cmrnSiS
WMi. OlmmltmmtaCmtn
For the fastest and easiest ways to order tickets, go to www.Rin9linfl.com,
tkketrmster Retail Locations, Macon Coliseum Box Office or call (478) 752-1600
TICKET PRICES: $lO - sl4 - sl9 - $32 VIP Floor
(Ssrvico chirgsa, tacilny »nd handling fats mayspph, no sstvics chargo at Box Offica.)
Come one hour early to meet our animals and performers at the
All Access Pre-show - FREE with your ticket!
promise we’ll give you the
best interest rate.”
“It’s more important than
that.” I leaned forward in my
chair. “Do you ever run out
of doggie biscuits?”
She blinked then gathered
her words. “Well, well, no,
not really.” She cleared her
throat. “If we ever do, we go
straight out to the store and
get more immediately.”
Good answer. Dew and I
were lucky. We found a bank
with an abundance of doggie
treats and an interest rate
that was many times higher
than I was making across the
street. The day we opened
our new account, I put on
my high heels and Dew put
on her prettiest hat - the one
with purple flowers and green
feathers - and marched with
great pomp and ceremony
PE-RR;Y/ PARKS^RKLRMTjQN
Is currently registering r
for Spring Soccer and A
Youth Baseball/Softball
through January 25, 2008
at Rozar Park,
Monday - Friday
8:00am - s:oopm
A ▲icHLinformation, please call
* f \ (478) 988-28601
flft 388 safe. .'bSL.ys. ~ *3
HOME LOANS
Best Rates Available
REFINANCE “ARMS” NOW,
TO FIXED RATE!
• PAY OFF CREDIT DEBT
• SLOW CREDIT OK
Playing This Week Only!
OPENING NIGHT
TICKETS $10!*
•(Excludos VIP Flooi Mats. No doublo discounts.)
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 ♦
Thu JAN 24 ★ 7.30 PM
into the lobby.
We deposited the money we
had demanded back from the
mean bank and sweet Erin,
new personal banker,
gifted Dew with a basket full
of treats. Not once since then
have they run out of treats so
we’re both very happy. We’re
also in agreement. We would
never treat a dog the way
that other bank treated Dew.
Ronda Rich is the best
selling author of What
Southern Women Know
(That Every Woman Should)
and The Town That Came
A-Courtin’.
Aged Hand-cut
Steaks
1-75 CkH 136 • 887*8877
Snt
Sun.
In
JAN. 27
2:00 PM
JAN. 26
2:00 PM
6:00 PM
JAN. 25
7:30 PM
5A
bxow
57937
158919