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4C
♦ SATURDAY, MAY 17, 2008
By showing strength, wife can save troubled marriage
QUESTION: Last
week you gave recom
mendations how I could
change my relationship
with my unhappy hus
band, Joe. How is Joe
likely to respond to the
new’ me?
DR. DOBSON: He
may test your resolve in the
next few months by showing
hostility, being aloof, or by
flirting with other women.
He’ll be watching during
this time for signs of weak
ness or panic. If you contin
ue to show self-confidence,
you will convince him that
he is actually free.
Three things typi
cally happen when you con
vey that understanding:
(1) The trapped
partner no longer feels it
necessary to fight off the
other, and the relationship
improves. It is not that
the love affair is rekindled,
necessarily, but the strain
between the two partners is
often eased.
(2) As the cool spouse
begins to feel free again, the
question he has been ask
ing himself changes. After
having wondered for weeks
or months, “How can I get
out of this mess?” he now
Jennifer Odom recognized
for 400 volunteer hours
Jennifer Odom recently
received recognition for serv
ing as a campus and com
munity volunteer at Georgia
Southern University logging
over 400 volunteer hours in
4 years.
This recent award cov
ered a 12 month peri
od and over 100 hours.
The daughter of Laurie and
Terry Odom of Bonaire, she
is a graduate of Houston
County High School and
will graduate in May from
Georgia Southern with
a Bachelor of Science in
Secondary Education with a
major in English.
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Dr. James
Dobsor
Focus on the Family
it. Sometimes it turns him
around 180 degrees and
brings him back home.
# (3) The third change
occurs not in the cool spouse
but in the mind of the vul
nerable one. Incredibly, she
feels better - somehow more
in control of the situation.
There is no greater agony
than journeying through a
vale of tears, waiting in vain
for the phone to ring or for a
miracle to occur. Instead, the
person begins to respect her
self and receives small evi
dences of respect in return.
Even though it is diffi
cult to let go once and for
all, there are ample rewards
for doing so. One of those
advantages involves the feel
ing that she has a definite
course of action to follow.
That is infinitely more com-
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Jennifer Odom
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sortable than experiencing
the utter despair of power
lessness that she felt before.
And little by little, the heal
ing process begins.
Does this approach
always work? Of course not.
Nothing always works in
human relationships. Some
people will re-examine the
decision to leave and decide
to return. Others will keep
on going. Either way, how
ever, showing respect for
yourself in the crisis will
maximize the opportunities
for your relationship to sur
vive. Even if it’s too late to
reconnect with Joe, you’ll
have your self-confidence
back and will be able to go
on without him.
QUESTION: We need
a little more income to
make it in my family, but
I have preschool children
and don’t want to seek
employment outside the
home. Is there an alter
native for me to pursue?
DR. DOBSON: You might
want to consider building a
home-based business which
can be done while taking
care of your children and
keeping your sanity. Among
the possibilities are cater
asks, “Do
I really
want to
go?” Just
know
ing that
he can
have his
way often
makes
him less
anxious
to achieve
Marshall Parker, MD
Is Accepting Patients
VVV participate with most
insurance and managed
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We accept self pay patients.
105 Bi’iarcliff Road, Warner Robins
478-922-3191
ing, desktop publishing, pet
grooming, sewing, consult
ing and transcribing legal
documents or even mail
order sales. Choosing which
business is right for you is
the first of three practical
steps suggested by Donna
Partow. She’s the author of
a book called “Homemade
Business.” You can start
your own enterprise by tak
ing a personal skills and
interest inventory to iden
tify your particular abilities
and what you might like
doing the best. The second
step is to do your homework.
Begin by asking your librari
an to help you research your
chosen field. Look up books,
magazines and newspaper
articles. Talk to other people
who have done what you’d
like to do. Join an industry
organization and a network.
Subscribe to industry publi
cations.
According to Mrs. Partow,
the third step is to mar
shal as much support as you
can. Get your children, your
spouse, and friends on your
.side. Setting up a small busi
ness can be stressful, and
you’ll need as much encour
agement as you can get. If
you’ve been torn between
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family and finances, having
a home-based business may
turn out to be the best of
both worlds.
Dr. Dobson is founder and
chairman of the board of the
nonprofit organization Focus
on the Family, Colorado
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HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL
Springs, CO 80995(www.
family.org). Questions
and answers are excerpt
ed from “Solid Answers”
and "Bringing Up Boys,”
both published by Tyndale
House.
929 0624
163762