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HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL
'God Hess you, President Obama; God bless (Ids glorious nation'
Dear Readers, Each
week in this space,
I try to convey some
of my enthusiasm for the
law. Frankly, writing it is a
bit of guilty pleasure.
For this moment, at such
an extraordinary time for
our great country, I write
a few personal words as a
matter of privilege, straying
a bit from the purely legal
issues.
As a young child, I felt
an aching hole left by the
assassination of Martin
Luther King, Jr., a help
less fury watching Bobby
Kennedy’s cross-country
funeral train heading east
from California, the chaos
of the 1968 Democratic
Convention in Chicago.
Even at a very young age,
I was touched by a palpable
evaporation of togetherness,
hope, and optimism.
Having 'The Talk' with your loved ones
This week we’re going
to talk about “The
Talk”, meaning the
talk you initiate with your
loved one about the need
for living assistance of some
kind, either in their own
home or in another type of
facility.
This could be as stressful
as the talk you had with your
teens when they came of age
if you let it. Hopefully with
some of these thoughts it
will be a bit easier.
First, you need to coordi
nate “The Talk” with your
siblings ... don’t try to go it
alone because this can cause
sibling friction if they don’t
hear it from you first.
Then let your loved one
know that you and one or
more of your siblings want to
talk with them about some
thing important but don’t
make it sound ominous.
Don’t schedule it too far
in advance or your loved one
may have too much time
to fret over what’s on your
mind. When it’s time for
your meeting, try to do it in a
very comfortable setting for
your loved one, preferably
WALKER
From page 4A
got elected to the United
States Senate in 1972, he
told his children, who were
reluctant to move from Perry,
of the wonderful snows they
would enjoy in Washington.
That next winter, Feb. 10,
1973, it snowed 14 inches in
Perry in one day and hardly
none at all, the entire winter,
in Washington.
I remember how much
fun our three older children
(John Gray had just been
bom) had in the snow. We
have a photograph of the chil
dren and with me measuring
the snow on the picnic table.
This is a cold, cold story and
an event that we enjoyed for
a few days. “Few days” are
important words.
Daddy used to own a farm
just on the outskirts of Perry.
There was a seven-acre
pond on the property. Years
ago, and at several different
it * , nT t
Perry Hospital Welcomes
Tht'Law'Man
Those readers who know
me personally are aware that
I grew up in Chicago. While
in College, my home was in
Hyde Park, just blocks away
from our President-elect’s
present home.
In 1982, I witnessed a
remarkably similar event,
the election of Harold
Washington (also from Hyde
Park) as Chicago’s first
African-American Mayor, an
election victory engineered
by David Alexrod - the
"All About Seniors"
fflHlfT''
in their home. Try to put
them at ease right up front
because they will probably
be anxious, and may have
already conjured up terrible
visions about what you are
“going to do with them”.
Start by assuring them it is
not about your convenience;
rather, it’s all about their
well being.
Let them know you’re here
to discuss how to maintain
their independence and that
you don’t want to take over
and start making all their
decisions for them. On the
contrary, you, your siblings
and your loved one need
to collaborate, not dictate,
what’s best for them.
If possible, “The Talk”
should be done on a proac-
times, I remember the pond
freezing over and Daddy’s
letting me walk out on the
ice, though not too far. Now
Bob Messer, what do you
think of that? How long has
it been since ponds “froze
over” in Houston County so
that youngsters could walk
out on the ice? This might
be more persuasive than the
fair anecdote.
The coldest I ever got was
rabbit hunting, at night, with
Jerry Horton (“Do-Tricks”).
Jerry Wilson, Bobby Jones,
Do-Tricks and I used to go all
over south Houston County.
Yes, I know it was probably
illegal (the statute of limita
tions has run) and, none of
us but Jerry Horton ever got
to shoot anyway. The point
is: it was cold, really cold.
And, Do-Tricks wouldn’t
let us go home - “there’s one
more place I want to go”. 1
just don’t believe it gets as
cold at night as often as it
used to. Then, again, I’m not
out at night rabbit hunting
Jody Velie, MD
Board Certified,
American Board of Family Medicine
Specializing in Family Care
and Medically Managed
Weight Loss
New Patients Welcome
215 Wes Park Drive • Perry
988-1515
Most Major Insurance Plans Accepted
architect of Barack Obama’s
stunning victory.
Washington’s election was
an earth-shattering, impos
sible-to-predict occurrence.
Chicago had been a city of
great racial strife. In the
late 19505, Mayor Richard J.
Daley engineered the city’s
public works projects, much
as the controversial Robert
Moses orchestrated in New
York, to isolate African-
Americans in poor neigh
borhoods and tragic public
housing towers of crime and
death.
There is a famous play
and movie called “A Raisin
in the Sun,” recounting one
family’s battle against 1960 s
racial red-lining in Chicago,
keeping black families from
buying homes in white
neighborhoods.
Chicago’s 1982 elec
tion of Hyde Park’s Harold
Jim
Rockifvller
Attorney,
Rockefeller
Law Center
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Bill Milby
Visiting
Angels
tive basis before a crisis of
some kind forces you into it.
Obviously that’s not always
possible but it is certainly
desirable. i
Here are some examples
of issues to consider when
involving vourself and your
family in “The Talk”
• Your loved one must be
the focus of all discussions
and be totally involved to
the extent possible consider
ing any mental or physical
limitations.
• Voice your opinions
using “I” statements; do not
blame others or use “You”
statements.
• Be assertive about your
thoughts but respectful of
others’ opinions ... especially
those of your loved one.
• Have a clear topic for
every discussion and don’t
assume you will cover all the
issues in just one meeting ...
almost certainly you won’t.
as much as I used to be.
Seen any icicles hanging
from barns or ice spewing
up in the dirt roads, lately?
In fact, have you even been
on a dirt road, lately? If so,
have you been walking on
a dirt road, lately? Bet your
answers are “no” to all three
questions.
What this column was sup
posed to be about was good
memories of cold weather.
I didn’t even get into the
time a snow storm closed
the legislature, and Bryant
Culpepper and I couldn’t get
to our apartment and had to
stay overnight at the Stadium
Hotel next to the Capitol; or
the time because of a snow
storm, it took Bryant and me
10 hours to drive from Periy
to Atlanta.
I know several other “cold
stories”. But, while I’m out
of space, I’m not out of mem
ories. And by the way, after
writing this column, I’ve
about decided that cold is
not so bad after all.
Washington represented
a city’s first true unsteady
step towards racial concilia
tion. Sadly, Washington died
in office of a sudden heart
attack just a couple of years
after election. Ironically, it
fell to Mayor Richard M.
Daley (the son) to fully unite
the city into a semblance of
its present racial harmony.
In doing so, Chicago
avoided some of the traps
of decaying Midwestern cit
ies like Detroit and Gary;
Chicago may even host the
2016 Olympics because of
this renaissance!
President-elect Obama was
nurtured in this same racial
ly-mixed enclave of Hyde
Park. He has risen to promi
nence at a time when this
country teeters on a razor’s
edge separating depression
from renewal. His victory is
emblematic of a “new day.”
• Finally, don’t expect
this to be easy. Remember
you are dealing with highly
emotional issues, for you, for
your loved ones and your sib
lings. After all, this is Mom
you’re talking about!
Finally, it’s important to
keep this all in perspective.
While it may be stressful
and inconvenient to consider
what’s involved in looking
after mom or dad, remember
they went through the same
thing bringing you into the
world, getting you through
school, and babysitting your
kids.
Now it’s your opportu
nity to return the favor.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says: “To
everything there is a sea
son, a time for every purpose
under heaven ...”.
Our purpose in “The Talk”
Thank you Houston County!
“My family and I want to thank
everyone that came out and voted. I
am proud of the tremendous support
that our campaign received. I want
to let you know I will work hard for
everyone in Houston, Dooly, Crisp,
Pulaski and Worth counties.
We have real issues that we need to
work on...together. With your
continued help and support we will
do great things in our community.
I am looking forward to doing my
arc- ‘m? Am Am'
• * la| , ill
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SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2008 ♦
Just like Chicago in 1982.
Many of you have been
inspired by the hope of
Barack Obama; many of you
are afraid of his lack of expe
rience. Sadly, some of you
may even resent him for the
color of his skin.
As I have written in other
columns, the legal sin of
our country’s founding was
our Constitution’s approval
of slavery. While the Civil
Rights Acts of 1866 outlawed
slavery, the sin continued to
stain our democracy through
overt and covert practices
(like redlining homes in
Chicago) and “Jim Crow”
laws. As late as 1966, racial
ly mixed marriages were a
crime in Virginia.
In 1963, Martin Luther
King stood tall at the Lincoln
Memorial, in the most poi
gnant speech ever uttered
about the promises of the
is to help mom or dad remain
as independent as possible
for as long as possible and to
know that they are loved in
the process.
Bill Milby is a retired 30-
year veteran executive with
Blue Bird Corporation and
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American Experiment.
Forty-five years later, and
40 years after our future was
stolen in 1968, the dream
has been fulfilled and our
country can finally heal in
the hands of a man chosen
for the breadth of his vision,
irrespective of his heritage,
and the excuses and trag
edy of our racist past can be
buried.
God bless you, President
Obama; God bless this glori
ous nation.
Local attorney Jim
Rockefeller owns the
Rockefeller Law Center and
is a former Houston County
Chief Assistant District
Attorney, and a former Miami
Prosecutor. Visit www.rocke
fellerlawcenter.com to submit
confidential legal questions,
and to review former arti
cles and Frequently Asked
Questions.
current Director of Visiting
Angels of Macon, a non-med
ical, living assistance service
for seniors. You can reach him
at wmilby@visitingangels.
com if you have questions
or comments about this col
umn.
F. Dennis Hooper
Certified
Leadership Development Coach
Building leaders and
organizations of excellence
(478) 988-0237
5A
164713
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