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♦ WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2008 6A OPINION Reversing course on divorce You may have heard it said that we are living in a “culture of divorce.” At least that is what many social scientists and cultural com mentators will tell you. No matter how you assess it, the fact remains that we live in a society where divorce is all too common. America’s divorce rate is twice what it was in 1960. The most dramatic increase occurred between 1965 and when it peaked in 1980. Since then, the divorce rate has been falling slightly, but is still among the highest in the world. Today a couple entering a first marriage has between a 40 and 50 percent chance that they will experience either divorce or separation. The Baby Boomer generation bears much of the responsibility for the high number of broken families. I think it’s fair to say that one reason divorce has been so rampant over the past 40 years is because of the sexual recklessness that erupted during the 19605. It is certainly true that the intact family in America began suffering its most dam aging blows during this time. Sadly, much of the wreckage has been passed on to the younger generations. Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse, who has taught economics at Yale and George Mason University, recently pointed out an interesting trend among today’s younger generation. In her words, “I have been stunned by how many young people are fed up with divorce.” Dr. Roback Morse analyzed a recent Pew Research Center study that got a lot of attention when it was released. It had some interesting findings regard ing American attitudes about marriage and parenthood (much of which goes far beyond the scope of this week’s column). She dug past the main find ings of the report, deeper into the data, curious to see if she could confirm what young men and women were telling her about divorce. She found what she was looking for. ' "Great news! I’ve already started on my New Year’s resolution to save money...l’ve been out shopping the sales!" Ready or not, here comes 2009 Late in the afternoon on Christmas Eve, I took my niece on a last minute shopping trip. We decided not to fight the traffic around the big box store and went instead to a fairly new store, full of merchandise - all bright and shiny . I believe we were the only customers there. Then we went to another store a couple of blocks away and there were a half dozen customers, but that may have been because just about every thing was 75 percent off. It doesn’t take an MBA to know when a business isn’t making enough money to meet payroll. A young friend called me on Christmas morning, and we were five minutes into the conversation before I asked her “How’s the job going?” and she told me she had gotten laid off. I’m glad she’s got great mom and dad, because it’s hard to find a job when one of the main survived strategies for businesses is cutting positions. Georgia’s unemployment rate was 7.5 percent in November, which was •higher than the nation’s 6.4. Welcome to the global recession, folks. If you believe in luck, tomorrow’s the day to have black-eyed peas. And if you don’t believe in luck Randy Hicks Columnist Georgia Family Council The Pew Research Center surveyed adults of all ages. They were asked: “Which statement comes closer to your views about divorce? Should be avoided except in an extreme situation; Preferable to maintaining an unhappy marriage.” Baby Boomers (ages 50 to 64) registered the largest percent sup port for ending a marriage. Perhaps not surprising since so many divorc es occurred in their generation. But what was notable was the response from America’s youngest adults - those between the ages of 18 and 29 -who were the most likely of all adults to agree that divorce should be avoided. The numbers show that 45 percent of 18 to 29 years olds believe divorce should be avoided except under extreme circumstances - 15 points higher than the 30 percent of 50 to 64 years olds who felt the sairie. Is it possible that younger adults are disillusioned with divorce? It certainly appears to be the case. And who could blame them? Greater numbers of them have borne the heavy baggage of living in broken homes than any others at any time in our country’s history. This shift in attitude is good news, especially considering that children from divorced homes are more likely to get divorced themselves. Conventional wisdom would say that the more chil dren of divorce there are, the more failed marriages will likely result. But perhaps that can change. Unfortunately, their desire for intact families is in direct conflict with their Charlotte Perkins Staff writer cperkins@evansnewspapers.com (which I don’t), have them anyway, because they’re cheap, filling and a good source of protein. Plenty of people got through the Great Depression on peas, cornbread and greens. Those weren’t the peo ple jumping out of the skyscrapers in 1929. Those were the people who made it through hard times and then fought World War 11. They could tell you a bunch, and probably did already if you’re my age, but here are some tips for right now. The rules for surviving a recession are to lower debt, spend less and save more. These of course, are good rules anytime, so maybe some of us need the excuse to get our financial habits into sync with our income. If you’ve got a paid-for or nearly paid-for car, take very good care of it. Sorry about the auto industry, but this isn’t the time to take on new car pay- * 1 - jL W beliefs about other social trends. Despite their growing objection to divorce, young adults are most like ly to have permissive attitudes about unmarried cohabitation, premarital sex and out-of-wedlock childbearing - behaviors that weaken marriage and often lead to the pain they are eager to avoid. Younger Americans have also grown up in a culture filled with extra-mari tal sex and childbearing. For many of them such conduct is acceptable. Yet, here again, acceptance of this behavior is counterintuitive to their own desire for healthy marriage. There is a big challenge before today’s young men and women. I certainly don’t have all the answers. But it is encouraging that they hold an increasing belief that marriage matters and that divorce is consequential. Whether we are in a culture of divorce and whether that culture will expand is debatable. I certainly don’t take a defeatist approach to the future of marriage, nor do I think we are guaranteed to have an ever-increasing number of divorces in our society. In fact, part of my own work at Georgia Family Council is focused on revers ing rates of divorce in Georgia. We are committed to equipping leaders throughout the state who will prepare couples for lasting, healthy marriages. I can only hope that growing num bers of today’s younger generation will reject divorce and seek out committed and loving marriages. To do so would not only be to their benefit, but to their children’s as well. Georgia Family Council is a non-prof it organization that works to strength en and defend the family in Georgia by equipping marriage advocates, shaping laws, preparing the next generation and influencing culture. For more informa tion, go to www.georgiafamily.org, 770- 242-0001, stephen@gafam.org. ments. if - you’ve got credit cards, take them out of your wallet. Whether you cut them up with scissors or just put them away in a safe place depends on your will power, but stop using them. If you’ve got a debit card, use it for gas since you’re only going to buy the amount you need. Or have it on hand for emergencies. Otherwise try using cash or your checkbook for shopping ventures (grocery stores, malls) where you’re making choices, or may be faced with temptations. It’s been well-estab lished that people who use credit cards spend more than those who use debit cards. But those who use debit cards spend more than those who use cash or checks. (My theory is that the plastic emits fumes that persuade us that it’s not really money.) Eat at home. Pack lunches. Shop with bargains in mind and plan your meals around the best buys. If shopping is your main recreation or you buy things to show off, get a grip!. Remember the old term “conspic uous consumption”? That’means buy ing things to impress other people (as if other people are easily impressed). It will save money to just make copies of your next bank statement See PERKINS, page 8A "One voice con make a difference" LETTER TO THE EDITOR Southern hospitality and thanks to you, a Christmas biassing We’re from Andalusia, 111., and we live on a farm with sheep as livestock. I have a female, 4-year-old, Cardigan Welsh Corgi, “Jessie” that helps me with the live stock and is my best friend. On Nov. 21, we had plans to take our vacation to Pinehurst, N.C., for a weekend of herding. Then we went to Myrtle Beach and then we would be off to have Thanksgiving with my brother and his family in Kathleen. So on Nov. 25, we arrived at my brother’s place. We ate, talked, and there was lots of laughing. The next day, my brother had taken my husband and I to Macon, to do a little shopping. We had decided to leave Jessie in the house to relax. At 2 p.m. my brother received a phone call saying that Jessie had darted out from the house. He drove us home right away and we all started looking, calling her name and asking people outside if they had seen her. To that end, neighbors started walking, children also. A husband and child on a four wheeler, mother and child on bikes, people in cars: all looking for our Jessie. Animal control had been phoned and the work of the Internet started. At this point the fear, the not knowing, the cars, the weather, all added up. Tears started falling from my eyes and my heart was broken. Then a person from the neighborhood would express that “We’ll find her"! I just could not believe the support that was offered to my husband and I, people they didn’t even know. On Thanksgiving Day, I started walking early morning, a woman out power walking stopped and asked if Jessie had been found. I said no, and she said so fast, “I’ll keep look ing and tell others”. Not long a blue car stopped me. “Did you find Jessie?” No, not yet. He said, with two children in the back, “We’ll keep looking-you’ll find her”. I walked and walked. An older couple was out walking and they said they would watch for her. On Friday, we walked early morning and decided to make flyers and post them. All the vets had been phoned and animal control once more. The fliers we put in the newspa per slots and handed to people as they drove, walked or biked by. Stop signs, telephone poles just in any place we could find. Saturday and Sunday the same thing and more people had been asking about her, a neighbor even offered his bike to me to use. Now even when we went to Publix grocery store, the staff asked about her. Once more the kindness, the prayers just overwhelmed my husband and me. Dec. 1, we stopped at the humane society in Warner Robins, no Jessie, but we posted a flier and made a report. We phoned Perry also, but no report of anyone seeing her. They had said that we are doing the right thing, and expressed they’d do what they could. We had to return home to Illinois that Tuesday. Our hearts broke; no signs of her anywhere. But the neighbor hood said they’d keep looking. The newspaper ran an ad for us, free for two weeks. I was so very thankful of the help choosing the right words to post this. She was so very kind and expressed how sorry she felt for us losing our dog. The drive home was forever. Tears, the lost feeling of knowing my little girl was left there, and not knowing where her family was. During the next few days my brother received phone calls from the neighbors and let me know this. We had been so taken by this. My sister-in-law teaches school and her students have asked about Jessie and will keep an eye out for her. The staff my brother works with did the same. My sister-in-law’s parents had spoken of Jessie’s situation to their friends and they would watch for her. The prayers and phone calls along with emails kept coming. I did not know what to say or do living so very far from this area. On Dec. 8, Jessie had been seen at Ed Ford’s farm on HWY 96 by Lake Joy Road. He and my brother tried to catch her the next morning, No luck, she ran once more. He phoned me, and I with the help of a staff member got a plane ticket to fly out Wednesday morning and started looking for her. Wednesday the winds had been strong here in Illinois, but by the time the plane got to Atlanta the weather looked like rain. I was shown the area where she’d been seen and I put on rain gear, and started walking and calling. Still there was no sign. Thursday was more of the same. See LETTER, page ton Pmne iourttal Reader Information 1210 Washington St. P.O. Box 1910 Parry, QA 31069 478-987-1823 See us online at www.hhjnaws.com ■ Foy S. Evans 1919-2008 ■ President - editor and publisher: Daniel F. Evans ■ Vice President: Julie Evans ■ General manager: Nicole Crofutt, 987-1823 ■ Managing editor: Don Moncrief, 987-1823, Ext. 231; donm@evansnewspapers.com ■ Staff writer (Also - Lifestyle and Food): Charlotte Perkins, 987-1823, Ext. 234; cperkins@evansnewspapers.com ■ Photographer: Gary Harmon, 987-1823, Ext. 229; gharmon@evansnewspapers.com ■ Sports writer: Matthew Brown, 987-1823, Ext. 237; mbrown@evansnewspapers.com ■ Religion editor: Brittni White, bwhite@evansnewspapers.com ■ HHJ general e-mail: hhj@evansnewspapers.com ■ Classified Advertising: Call 478-987-1823 between the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. You can fax an ad 24 hours a day to 478-988-9194. ■ Delivery by mail: Delivery by mail is available for in and out of county. Call 987-1823 for rates. ■ POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: 1210 Washington St. Perry, GA 31069 ■ The Houston Home Journal, is a periodical, mailed (ISSN 1526-7393) at Perry and is published Wednesday and Saturday for S4O per year by Evans Newspapers Inc., 1210 Washington St., Perry, GA 31069; 478-987-1823 Fax 478-988- 1181. Not published Thanksgiving and Chnstmas. ■ Main office hours: 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday ■ NEWS TIPS: Call 478-987-1823 Ext. 231 or 234; Newsroom Fax: 478-988-1181 ■ Corrections: The HHJ strives for fairness and accuracy, and will print a correction or clarification when one is in order. ■ Advertising errors and omissions: The advertiser agrees that the publisher shall not be liable for damages arising from errors in advertisements beyond the amount paid for the space actually occupied by that pdftion of the advertisement. There shall be no liability for non-insertion of any advertisement beyond the amount paid for such advertisement. 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