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HINTS TO YOUNG HOUSTKT'EPT'RS
HINT NO. I.
How to Buy Window Curtains.
HE trouble about advice is that it is
often given by those whose knowledge
is not real knowledge; whose facts are
theoretical facts; not hard, stern, proven
ones. No class of people have suffered
more from trying to follow advisers who
were not qualified to advise, than have
young housekeepers. Far this reason
these Hints to Young Housekeepers are
T
being published. Every incident related in this se
ries of articles is properly vouched for. Every
statement is absolutely true. In telling the best
way to buy window curtains I shall describe sim
ply and briefly just how ours were bought, and the
veriest greenhorn who wishes to buy curtains will
have no difficulty in doing so correctly and to the
greatest advantage, provided he has a wife such
as the one herein contemplated, to attend to the
details of the transaction. So this is how we
bought our curtains:
When we began housekeeping in the city there
were a number of things we needed for the house.
Such matters as the purchase of a coal scuttle, a
shovel, tongs, the coal and a padlock for the bin
were entrusted to me, and I gave moderate satis
faction, but the curtains for the windows of the
front room were more important. It was very
sagely remarked by the Mistress of the Home that
whether the observer is on the outside looking in,
or on the inside looking cut, the curtains force
themselves upon the attention. So she would take
part in the curtain problem. We went into execu
tive session one evening to decide upon the price
we could afford to pay. That was accomplished
early—along about eight p. m. Then the question
of pattern and general habits came in. I had very
few suggestions to offer, more than that I sup
posed we would want something yellow, with maroon
figures, long enough to reach the floor without per
ceptible effort. I wanted them as much as possible
like some curtains I had seen at my grandmother’s
in the long ago. They were pretty curtains, and a
waist had been made for me out of the cloth re
maining over. But my suggestion was not given
much consideration. The sense of the meet
ing inclined to lace curtains of a filmy disposition
and a leaning toward cream in color. This color
was appropriate as being a compromise between the
"oak finish table, the green rug and the blonde hair
of the baby. This decision was reached some time
after I had retired, and was announced to me at
the breakfast table. I acquiesced. Force of habit
comes to exercise a strange influence over a man
in his home life. So, after breakfast, the baby was
left in the care of his grandmother and forth we
sallied to get the curtains, I thinking to perfect the
purchase by nine o’clock and have the remainder
of the forenoon free for my duties at the office.
There is a something about the atmosphere of a
department store that abashes me. I can dress in
my very best clothes; clothes that seem good enough
to wear to church, to a wedding, a dinner party
or even when applying for a job, and they aid me
in feeling respectable; but once inside the portals
of a department store and fully exposed to the
inquiring attitude of the floor-walker and the dis
dainful gaze of pompadoured salesladies, I realize
that I am only a worm of the dust; and the silly
kind at that —such as would probably have been
gobbled up by the early bird long ago but for my
very orneriness. So I hesitate, grow confused, look
apologetic, shamble forward painfully, and stam
mer as I ask direction to the counter displaying
the goods I desire. And when I finally get what
I want, or more likely what the girl tells me I
want, I start back down the between-counter lanes
enduring an abasement and apprehension compared
to which the feelings of the soldiers at Balaklava
must have been a delirious joy; and when I find
myself on the pavement, breathing the free air
again, I am prone to offer a prayer of thanksgiving.
Therefore it is that my wife’s strongest hold on my
respect and admiration comes from the fact that she
Tiie Golden Age for October 10, 190?.
can go right into such a store as I have mentioned;
ask for directions- to the department she desires,
go to it without once losing her sense of direction,
ask to be shown things; and even after all that, I
have known her to argue with the saleswoman when
a disputed point arose during the progress of the
negotiations. Why, the idea of starting an argu
ment even with a cash boy in one of those stores,
makes my blood run cold. And my wife does such
things totally unarmed, too. If only our child has
inherited her force of character —but my admira
tion for such prowess causes me to digress.
We reached the store side by side, but upon enter
ing I fell behind my wife. I have always consid- ’
ered the single-file formation more proper as dis
playing the most consideration for the floor-walker,
and also as affording most safety for me. My wife
received directions for reaching the curtain depart
ment and we set forward. I could not remember
all the specifications of the route to be traveled, but
I trusted implicitly in her. She went along
bright-eyed and alert, taking mental notes of the
goods displayed on either side of us. We wa'ked
and walked and walked. I lost my bearing com
pletely. The channel was not charted or buoyed
and I was beginning to be apprehensive that we
were lost in a sea of merchandise, but that brave
woman sailed on, apparently as cool and assured
as if she had been walking that road from early
childhood. But probably the building itself had
„not been erected that long; so this is to my mind
another illustration of. the wonderfully developed*
instinct possessed by some women. After we had
accomplished what seemed to me a long Sabbath
day’s journey, we encountered a tall and deferen
tial young man who was recognized at once by my
wife as being in charge of the curtains. He
acknowledged it, and we were requested to have
chairs. We did. I did not have to be pleaded
with.
We were comfortably seated before a kind of
frame work upon which the young man displayed
the curtains. He was nicely dressed himself. He
looked neat, correct and moral. He was in every
respect, so far as I could judge, an ideal curtain
salesman. He seemed willing to oblige. “What
kind of curtains do you wish?” he respectfully in
quired. He put the question to my wife. I have
often wondered why everybody who does business
with us when we are together looks to her for the
deciding voice. That is true in everything, except
my tailor does ask me to come in person to be mea
sured for my clothes. But w’hen the young man
asked about the kind of curtain we desired, I started
to blurt out, “Some for about two-fifty, please,”
but my wife looked at me and I said nothing—not
a word. After a moment she quit looking at me
and said: “Something in lace, of cream color, for
the sitting-room.” The clerk bowed, retired and
reappeared with several patterns, all of which he
draped, one after the other, on the rods before us.
My wife carefully examined each pattern, slowly
but firmly shaking her head after a silent inspec
tion. “These are worth $30.00 a pair,” said the
young man. He saw from my wife’s expression
that there was nothing doing, so he went for a new
lot. These were draped; inspected and condemned
by a gentle head-shake. “These are $25.0Q a pair,”
said the clerk. He went for more. They were
pretty, I thought, after they had been draped with
great taste and care on the rods. My wife looked
at them quite awhile without any expression, either
facial or verbal. She began to tap the floor with
her foot, however. The clerk noticed even a small
thing like that, and said, hesitatingly, “These are
$20.00, Ma’am.” There was no response, and he
went for others. When he returned this time he
looked something like a load of hay. He must have
had an even hundred pairs of curtains. These were
spread for our inspection, one after the other, and
all were carefully weighed in the balance and found
wanting. Sometimes the verdict was announced by
a wave of the hand, a shake of the head, a tap of
the foot, a shrug of the shoulders, a pitying smile,
an uplifted eye-brow, a leaning back in the chair
with a resigned expression, and so on. Buying cur-
By A. E. Ramsaur.
tains, if carried out conscientiously, gives exeicise
to most of the muscles of the body. Once, when a
curtain was on the rods that caught my fancy par
ticularly, my wife went so far as to speak. She
said, “Oh, Grief I” That clerk fairly snatched the
curtain down a’ d it’s name was anathema. If 1
had allowed myfrelf to make a remark like that he
would have used language to me not learned in the
schools —not in Sunday schools, to say the least.
He then went o’.i another trip. This time he went
to the basement.
During the negotiations quite a number of peo
ple had come in who wished to price curtains. They
had taken seats mear us, waiting until we had been
waited on. They began at this stage of the nego
tiations to manifest some impatience. There was
a large, firm looking woman, accompanied by a lit
tie, acquiescent man. He was probably her husband,
though I had never met either. Then there was a
thin, gray haired woman with glasses wearing a
Philathea buttoi., and leading a little dog. There
were also several others. While the clerk was ab
sent in the basement, the large firm Person looked
at my wife and grunted. I don’t believe that
my wife had, up to that time, seen any of them.
She looked around now and allowed her eyes to
rest for a moment upon the Person. The Person
subsided and the little man with her seemed to be
cheered in some mysterious way.
“My Dear,” said I, diffidently, “don’t you think
it will save time to just tell the clerk about the
amount we want to pay?” This inquiry did not
meet with special encouragement. This was the
reply: “Did you ever buy any curtains?”
The clerk had a full deck load of curtains when
he returned, and besides there were two colored
gentlemen, each bearing the black man’s burden,
consisting of curtains. The combined cargoes made
a pyramid before us somewhat resembling Bunker
Hill. The clerk panted until he had regained
enough breath to speak and then said to my wife,
“Well, Madam, we will start on this lot.” “Thank
you,” said my w’ife —and the dulcet tones reminded
me of the far-off days of our courtship. So the old
showing, headshaking, footpatting, and so forth
went on for a good forty-five minutes. Then, just
at the last, the clerk displayed a pair of curtains
and said with a groan: “These are two-twenty
per pair, M’am.”
“How lovely!” said my wife.
The clerk fell back against one of his co Sored
henchmen, the other one ran for smelling salts.
When he revived somewhat, he said* “Am Ito
understand that you want these, Madam?”
“Yes,” said my wife.
And it was only eleven-thirty!
Going out (I didn’t dare look behind me!) my
wife said: “I’ll stop here and buy some buttons
for that new waist of mine, while you go across to
McClure’s and buy some chocolate for the babj-.
I won’t be a minute.” I went and got the candy
and waited outside the door of the department
store. Automobiles drove up, the occupants went
in, purchased and came out. Carriages stopped
at the curb and waited for a time, until I got to be
pretty friendly with all the drivers in town. Sev
eral dogs came along and sat by me for awhile. 1
finally forgot what I was doing there. My feet went
asleep and had quite a nap, but it was broken into
by a couple of countrymen who came along, and
taking me for a dummy figure, one of them said:
“Now, Bill, there’s a suit like I want. But I’d
like it a leetle longer in the shank and a leetle, just
a leetle, fuller across the front.” “Well’, you see,
that’s the fault of that frame it’s on,” said the
other.
Here my wife came out, smiling. “Oh, I thought
I would get through before you got back!” she
said.
* n
Principal Harris, of the State Normal at San
Marcos, Texas, has notified the young men that the
presence of cigarette smokers in the school will
not be tolerated after the end of the first quar
ter. The doors are being closed against the cigar
ette in all lines of business—Baptist Visitor.