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Up-to-Date Jokes Harry l.auder tell this story: “A certain nobleman was introduced to me at the Tivoli one night,” the Scotch comedian is reported to have said. "He asked me to dine with him. 1 accepfed and then he hesitated and said: *‘l don't mean, dine at my home, ] you know. My wife doesn't upm'u\'vl of music hall people, you know. I mean dine at my club. ; “At your club?’ eaid I, with a hor rified look. °*Oh, no! No, thank 4\uu.| my lord. I'm sorry td# have to de cline, but the fact is, you know, m_\'! wife doesn't—er approve of rlu‘.n-! men.'” - . * 0w . ’ A clergyman, taking occasional duty | for a friend in one of the moorland churches of a remote part of I-Jnglund,l was greatly scandalized on® observing | the old verger, who had been collect ing the offertory, quietly abstract a half-crown before presenting the plate at the altar rails. After service he called the old man into the vestryy” and told him with emotion that his crime had been dis covered. The verger looked puzzled,' Then a sudden light dawned on him. “Why, sir, you doan’'t mean that ould half erown ow mine! Why, Oi've led off with he the last fifteen years!” * * . Smith, a master bricklayer, i the faeanesy man on earth. For the nmsl| trivial l\fl'o-ns(‘ he makes deductions from his workmen’s wages. Only the other day a bricklayer who was repairing a church tower sitpped and fell off the high scaffold ing. Lauckily for him, however, a friendly nail caught in his clothing and held him safely till he was res cued by his comrades. It so chanced that Smith was pass ing at the time. When on pay day the bricklayer received his wages it was accompanied by the following note: “Time steopped, fifteen minutes for hanging on nail —ten cents.” 1 “Now, Tony, if there were nineteen | sheep in a fleld and seven jumped over a wall, how many would be left?” “None, Miss Stowe.” ‘ *No, Tony, think again, There were nineteen sheep and seven jumped over the wall.” “Well Miss Stowe, 1 think I know what you mean; but, really, Miss Stowe, vou may Kknow arithmetic, but yvou don't-know sheep.” + *® W The teacher had noticed something queer about the rendering of a cer tain line of a hymn frequently used in morning schoeol. One morning she determined to get to the bottom «f the mystery., Listening intently, she iraced the peculiarity to Johnny. “Sing it by vourself, Johnny,' she commanded, Johnny did so, and in stead of the line “Weak and sinful though we be,” he gave as his ren dering, "We can gsing, Wll though we b His c¢hubby appearance might be taken as evidence of the probability of his assertion. £ % % Mrs. . Smith was an ardent worker in the cause of the prevention of cruelty to animals, and when Mrs, Browy came to tea, told her a pathetic tale of a coster's donkey that she had rescued from a cruel master the day before. - The visitor was very interested, and when she rose (o go said: “1 am so glad you have told me all those fascinating things about ani mals, dear Mrs. Smith. [ shall never see a donkey again without thinking of vou.” * * * This story is told of a dog thiel who was arguing about honesty: “Maybe you don't believe it, Jit," he said to his pal; “but I want to say right here that honesty is the hest policy, after all. You know that dog what I stole a few days ago, dont you? Well, for a whole week [ tried to sell him for $2, an' couldn’'t do it, an’ then I took him back to the lidy what 1 stole him from, an' she give me SSH." WL R Overheard in a quiet corner of the baliroom: He—l adore you; but, unfortunate v, 1 am as poor as Job. Still, T have a rich uncle of 60 who enjoys very poor health, She—ls he married ? He—No. She-—\Well, my dear friend, it wouid be silly to rush headlong into miserv; come, be reasonable, give me up, and introduce me to your uncle without delay. The return home of the (truant “Mona Lisa' recalled a good story. A second-hand picture dealer was try ing to sell what he described as a genuine Raphael “The signature does not look like Raphael,” re marked the prospective customer, using his magnifying glass, "It reads more like ‘Rachel!’ " +Ah'" gaid the dealer, "I will tell vou the history of that Whesn Ridphael painted that picture he was in rather low water, so put it in the wife's name for safety!" * * * A landlady whose reputation for overfeeding her boarders was not ereat brought in the supper tray, and after she had set the various items before the solitary boarder, she said, “Shall I light the gas?” The lone one looked at the scanty meal before him, and replied: “Well, no, it isn't necessary—the supper is light enough.” ) * * - A certain bishop said to his chap in: "What s wit? The chaplain replied: ‘“The rectory of A—— is vacant; give it to me, and that will be wit.” “Prove it,” rejoined his lordship, “and you shall have it." . “It would be a good thing well ap plied,” was the ready answer, After twelve months in office the chairman of a West Wales parish coun cil was about to give up his position. *“And now, gentlemen,'' he said. with feeling, ‘the time has come for me to vaceinate the chair’” The Weekly Geor BRINCING UP FATHER | —FJ,\‘Y :(O ULL TOUSE = :—‘ ( TOU MNN . MAGGIE - VWHERE 1T S 0 el AD . TELL ME \WEibRE ‘vHE N AM 2AR ST - IS THE CALLERY FATHER - THAT FINE ARTS RUILDING = MY § AT H i =l = 1 OF FINE ARTS 1 YOU ARE TAKING . s, -=/ ,hi _.l AN ART S . = IN THIS - o AN INTEREST b S 1| FART AL =g = il = NART i (T é&fl?f?hw i ¢ == EHHHE E g R - . ) : ' ART 4R ; = gg' H | | r"“ (~—~y————'—— P . ME- IAM GOING 8 . —JS_HE — ‘ 3/ Be 0 U =g [ Naveycar fi ‘ . i = Il ReEMEmper 93 g — . I I = | YUST WHERE Yey )3 ( 7 ' anitay ." . ‘ (‘)T 1S DUT ANy 7 — ?fl\ € i ST : NE ON FHE \ og & R [] IRE L5l F '-L'l “ . STREET wiLL - /j('—/? =z ;Ul . z TELL You! . {l\s wa i s 5 * =t (= et f \(~Ts- N osesesummen f LGI OF — Y% - v R Vv ety W ' e B =% |9 A ‘ / Ww- AL SR - __,_,_‘jg( “v/ : /{/ 3 Set ; L 4 f ‘ 3 O\ / , ’ / \ <\ R Lo o : . , : W W, N\ ) g - P 7 - o /. 5 £ o ' ( \\l/" : ‘%‘g . . POLLY AND HER PALS WoTs THis 1 HEAR AW Now MACK | | CoME TTk OF ‘ ABOUT You BEIN' \ou~ToLb ME (T 1 DASHED OFF A COMPOSER OF &0 YOURSELF! A LiL PIECE ON POPLER SONES . —r ME. CUFF, )N THE ¢ “ToMMY % WHO } T SUBWAY Tiis . e ME? | \ AFTY T HATS THE] Suom!‘) / ‘ STUFF ToM l o Wy, e - S . . s 4 NN WA AN bl < LEY Y A |By S LT AN 2 % & NAR@S Sk 57 NWSEY XYL L N KR A 8 N Tana S R & : 45@ G Wk RN - ! W\E‘A‘/ 3/ . it , ’4 = % X B 4 '// | \ : ‘ L] TL] N - \ Y % _Z;‘;‘/J,. o odz ||, ) b )\ v‘l /\,’V/ o Q}j&‘i\" vt &5 ok e | IR A Lake of Soap One of Nature's marvels is to he seen in the northeast corner of the State of Washington. It is a lake which bears the name of Soap lake, and is three miles in length by one mile in breadth. The water in the lake tastes like a mixture of soap and salt, and its pe culiar properties are such that when the water is heated no soap is required for a bath, for as soon as the water comes into-contact with the natural oil of the skin, and is gently rubbed, it forms a beautiful lather. . The only drawback is that when ap plied to the head one's hair is apt to turn from its natural color ‘o a dusty red, if not wash-d with fresh water 'n other words, it bleaches, the soda in the water n) doub. being the cause of this. The Soap Lake is known all over the State m a«count of its wenderinl heual ing properties. Indeed, it iz asserted that its waters provide a cure for all the ills the flesh is heir to. Rheama tism, skin diseases, stemach und blood disorders all scem o give way to the miraculous powers of the waters, and scoers of people go there for the pur puse of curing thelaselves of these various conplaints. A 8 a matter of act, the waicts of the Yake hay 2 hean known 1o the Intans for venerations past on acecent of thelr wondertul cvrative powers, anid even at the presint time patrties of thepi camp at the head of the lake during the suq mer niontha, “in 1) e sacres of the lake are variovs sanatoria. which remain open all the year reund and attract many visiiors, who ¢ome in search of health, s HIS SAFETY VALVE. The class was in one of its bad moods that afternoon. Time after time the master in charge had had to suppresg uncalled-for merriment and other petty insubordinations. He was beginning to grow angry, when from somewhere came another muffled peal of laughter. The master glared around the class, and, in his fiercest voice, called on the miscreant to confess, ‘“Please, sir, it was me,’’ answered a small boy at the back of the raom. “But I didn’t mean to do it.” “Didn't mean to do it!" roared the teacher. ‘'Thengwhy did you do it?” “Please, sir.""epliod the incorrigible one, ‘it just escaped. I laughed up my sleeve, forgetting there was a hole in the elbow!’ INDOOR SPORTS ‘1 £ Q) AE L — O \9 I' WAITTILL | TBLL AUNT M g s ¢ NN ST LOOK AT VE AOW CAN oL BEAT TK = e !mg‘ -t e THAT RUNT -\ o Gl e UH WOAAT [ill] BN CRACKEY . i OICAT HAM WHY THE \| we'ocatL [ t‘{ WAGER YER OV = _ i | THAT BUM S |on THE I MoßeAn AND HE ] KIDD/IN - A OTER SIDE. 11! LERS T THE Gl [ WELLY | Gubr A . Plitll: TR e NGt JisHHE OU 412 A WEEK ACLARK |, LI mowiES BV Bpligh oo BOY ) GOTTA CLERK A BLOOMIN )] 00 EH -0H L 4 HiMN TOMOR LW T 10 ™E (,'NL. HAW - HAW ”f \\\\\\ 3PO b TS 7M) op sTURF BAH JOVE ST - e » a He'S A He'S PEDDLING | UES A FAKE - ) l.»n "‘) Desk ILD CAT /o | GuE HIM 3 AP ..Q ‘-—...4" WILD T \EE BIRD ‘,s iS ; %’""’ & A SEHRL SR ¢ L /7 : < R B> =) ‘ N\\) D maf) ; N »sgf@'ngg-,- VE {S ) ) 7o 0 B RaßHalßgc of ‘ L T A PIARERL Sk T R /f*‘-fif e -\ .\ //\\l// | %fi", i %;gzri , 1,4, .P 8 Vv Wv T L SRR S=g | ) ’,/\// ] / ‘V/ / j,zf /// H// 1 v,..k,.-_'_ .eyi;@%fi?izzgsé m"w 3) \ /AW T s ) 4 Te et | ] "Sy \ /// mwiNg o\ Y Let R [ Y 7/ 7)) L V) ) N e e ||| '// 0 / ) /t/ h — (R { 1, el Uil ST 1 M e Wl HTZA&77 ity iy 53;555553-. =t A %ifl““.y\;“«“-‘& A it T »:Lfi““ § i e i’ it L] ' l ‘Hi e|| ; —d " g 5 i) | ] i R HHHTH - L 0 W ]| - - | e | e 1 Gy Thbe - 7, - . CEE Rt ( s . S /) /I”/ - E'T;';E?"i:z:-fl‘ - |) W 4 THE GEORGIAN