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With a chest bulged out like the sail of 4 mackerel schooner, the Fresh Al faddist goes around throwing open the windows and doors, breathing contempl for the members of her family who sit with their feet in their arms trying to keep warm. Br-r-r! fly open the win dows to the right, back and left of them, and icy blasts pour in, corrugat ing their flesh till they look like so many plucked geese in the butcher's window, and giving to their noses all the deep blue tones of a Dutch plate, “You don't know what is good for you,”' cofntinues the Fresh Air faddist, truning off the heat. “What you need is fresh air in your lungs!” Daysey Mayme Appleton is a Iresh Air faddist, apd from November until April her ramily lead a frapped exist ence; her mother, after the manner of the medern American mother, meekly and glorying in her martyrdom, and her father and brother, with. backs humped up against the radiator, emit ting from time to time such tuint squeaks of protest as are permitted from the male members of a 4 modern family, Daysey Mayme froze not only her family but herself. When she dressed for a walk in the snow she put on low shoes, silk hese, wore her dress a little lower in the neck, and put a warm fur hat on her head. Rer father scolded, begged, reasoned, and tried by bribe to get her to look a little less like a squab that is dressed for market; and all in vain. One evening a young man called the kind of young man that looks over his high collar like a milk-nosed calf gazing over a high fence. It was his second call, and Daysey Mayme hagd already learned to Love him Madly. It is to such as he that is granted the power to inspire sudden and serfous | affection at first sight. | “You ghould dress warmer than that,"” | he said, indifferently, 1o Duysey Mayme when she entered the room with lu—ri usual squablike attire, She left the room, ard when she re turned her feet were shod in woolen hose, hesvy” shoes and hick arctics, and her wraps were so cumbersome she looked like a 4 sewed-up mumimny. She had heard tie Voice of Lovel Oh, lL.ove! that malies a young man's Sug gestion a divine command, and a father's command a silly suggestion! Quaint Regiments. In an interesting chapter on “Uni forms, Old and New,” Ralph Nevill, in FFancies, Fashions angd Fads, says that cast-off military trappings and other uniforms are highly valued by savage and semi-civilized States, “A good customer for this sort of thing must be the Ameer of Afghanis tan,” he sayvse, ‘who has a complete regiment of cavalry dressed in the cast off garb of guards of our various lines of railway. The appearance of this corps on parade, with its diversified insignia, 'L B. 8 ¢’ and 'L N. W, R, and the like, emblazoned upon various portions of its equipment, is said to be indesgcribably quaint,” The value of a smart uniform as an inducement to enlist was generally rec ognized in the pagl, and Mr. Nevill quotes an advertisement which appeared more than & hundred years ago, ad dressed to young men likely to join the Light Dragoons. Among the attractions gpecified were the, prospect of being mounted “on the finest horsges in the world, wearing superb clothing and the richest accouterments, “Your pay and privilege,'” ran the ap peal, “equal two guineas a week; you are everywhere respected, your soclety is courted, you are admired by the fair, which, together with the chance of getting switched to a buxom widow or brushing with a rich heiress, renders the situation truly enviable and de lightful ‘ The Manicure Lady By WILLIAM F. KIRK ¢é FORGE,” said t*e Manicure T Lady, 'l had a good lesson to-day about saving money like o miser. 1 don't mean saving cnough for a rainy day, but i mean scrimping for years to get a bankroll, “There was a old gent came in here to-day to have his nails did. He said that he had always took some k' nd of care of hig own nails until he retired from business, but that now he was spending a little of the big fortune that he had piled up, and took a no tion to have a manicure with all the (ther high life he was enjoying. “He said ‘enjoyving’ but he wasn't enjoying a minute tuat he was set ting there, and I bet he hasn't had @ teally happy day since he was younger man, slaving to get his coin together.” “1 would be willing to take a chance and trade places with him,” said the Head Barber. I guess he could have a good time if he really wanted to. Give me a bankroli, and I'll show vou how to have the run fur ot “But you are yvounger than this old gent,” said the Manicure Lady, “and you was always more or less of a sport, anyway, You see, George, it is a whole lot: different for a sport te Keep on being one than it is for some old scrimper to try to make himse'f over when he is nearly old enough to plant. “This old chap seemed Kind of like a old, deserted house to me. The frame was there, but there didn't seem to bhe no signs of life inside, When he talked, his eves didn’t hght up none, and he didn't act any more excited than a little-necked clam. He sat there, having his nails did the same way 1 suppose he opened hig mai!, or washed his face, and there wasn't no more spark to him than to 4 dead fire. What good did all that man's money do him? What zood will it ever do him? No good, George, The old fellow will go along looking after a good time like a blind Kid looking for a toy, and after a while be will be dead and forgotten, and Lis money will fly this way and that way. Gee, 1 felt sorry for him!” “T can't see now nobody can feel sorry for a gent with a bankroil,” in sisted the Head Barber. I know if I had a bankroll 1 wouldn't be around looking for no sympathy.” “This old gent wasn’t looking for ro sympathy,” said the Manicure La dy. "l didn’t say he was. 1 just said that I fe't sorry for him, and I do. He rever had one-tenth the good tßne in }is jife that my father has had, and the old gent has managed to rvaise a biz family, besides, while he was jour peying through life and living by the way. If father had went along all those years without ever taking a lit tle nip with his old friends, or with out seeing no shows or boxing mwatches or races, 1 suppose that by now he would have at least as big a rol] as the old fellow 1 was speaking of; but as it is, I believe that he is a lot happier for having had some of the good times that he has had. Wil fred says that he is going to paltern Lis life as near after father's as pos= sible, but 1 am afraid tu:t he will never have the old gent's earning ca pacity or other capacity.” “1 would like nothing better than to be old now and have a nice bank account to string along with,” said the Head Barber. *l don’t see much chance, the way things is now, to cver have a real roll in my old age, but [ am going to try.” “No, you aint,” declared the Mani cure Lady. *“Not while the horses keeps running riaces.” Doctor and Patient. The doctor was baffled and the case seemed almost hopeless, and after many !.!iff»r»x.l preseriptions the patient still said that his health was fot improving. "l‘hs- complaint was not of a serio 8 AT...U'QI(’U‘I', and after much thought ® happy fdea seized the doctor. e woull try his patient's powers of imagi wation, and approached him in this manner: “Now, my friends, when I call upon vou again will you say ‘I imagine 1 am a little better to-day' when 1 inquire after your health?” The patient replied in the affirmative, The doctor called in a day or two and asked the patient as to his condition, He replied, *'l imagine 1 am a little hetter to-day, sir’’ “That's right,” said the doctor. “Now, the next time 1 call will you say ‘I limn;:im- I am a great deal better than I was the last time you called? " which, accordingly, the patient did “Now,”" sald the doctor, “will you call around at my surgery in a few days '.n,d say ‘I imagine I am quite well nowy | “Yes," replied the patient, 1 will do | 8. A week passed and the patient pre sented himself at the surgery as res quested, and in reply to the usaal in quiry, replied, 1 imagine 1| am quite well now, sir."” “That’s right,” returned the doctor, 1L am 80 pleased to see that you are. “How much is your fee?' asked the patient “I'wenty-five dollars,’’ said the doctor, “Then imagine you have got it re plied the patient, as he walked out of the surgery. From Sense of Duty. Sam did not turn up at school until the afternoon. \When, however, he did arrive, he entered with none of the usual signs of guilt; rather did he weap an expression as of one who had achieved goniething great “Now, Sammy Johnson, what excuse have you for being absent this morne fng?"' demanded the teacher “T was helping the police!” said Sam, while a gasp of envy went round the school, “Now, be careful, Sam Tell the truth!"” "’\\'o-11. so 1 \l\'us helping the police!” said Samgyreaglyy, “Just as | was com ing to \";9'59 aM A\ o'nB | was cross ins <°. °o§ I_up comes a I b low, my little & er,’ he says