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Stars and Stripes Truly, as Bryon says: “History » with all her volumes vast Hath but one Page.” * - . Young bridal .couple off to Paris to seek novelties im the tango might try the matrimot.ial one-step first, s * * Kentucky passes a State-wide prohibition bill, but nobody will believe it has anything to do with the lLiquor question, » * * We have a larger army along the Rio Grande than we had be fore Santiago in the Spanish war. To keep the Mexicans in order? No, to prevent Americans from recovering their property by chas ing bandits across the border. That Boy Again! In a class of twenty boys, nine teen are probably afraid of the ex aminer; but the betting is, that the examiner himself is terrified of the twentieth. Certainly this was the case of the poor old gentleman who had to examine the class of which little Sammy was the twentieth —and last—member. “Now, my: lad,” quoth he, “what lessons do you like best?” This was too silly, Sammy mere ly sniffed, thereby expressing his un bounded contempt. “Do you like mathematics, now ?” “] 'ates ’em!” i “\Well, we won't waste much tim=» on that subject, then. Tell me how many sides has a circle got?” “Two! The inside and the outside.” (Suppressed cheers.) “H'm! We will pass on to moral philosophy. Do you know anything about cause and effect?” OyaEr: “Ah, that's better! Now, does an effect ever go before a cause?” yunl” “Oh, indeed! Just give me an ¢x ample,- will you?” “Yus!” A man pushin’ a wheelbar row!” (More cheers—not suppressed.) Food for Reflection. “We are united in this movement,” said a physiologist, apropos of a fight against the drug habit. “Yes, a sin gle thought possesses us, and in that respect we're like Mr.-and Mrs. Smith. At 3 a. m. of a bitter cold morning Mrs. Smith in her thin night gown was pacing the floor with her colic tormented babe in her ' arms. The babe's squawks of pain were terrible, yet they were easily drowned by the ear-splitting roars of young Smith, Jr., who tossed about his crib with a toothache. Mr. Smith, shivering in his pajamas, bent over the washstand, trying to prepare a cotton filling for his son and a mustarl plaster for his babe, when his wife's voice, scarcely audible above the wuproar, reached bim, “*John,” she said, ‘if, seven years ago, I could bave looked forward an.d beheld this scene, do yvou know what I'd have done? “‘Yes, love,” Smith answered, ‘You'd have dome just what I wish Td done.'” Not a Naturalist. Gervangeline was very angry. That morning she had received a letter from the young man who im agined he had captured the affec tions of her heart. He was supposed to be working hard on a rubber jlantation in Africa, busily getting together the money to start “the lit tle home.” “It he thinks I mind his rudeness, he is making a great mistake,” said she, with rencentrated bitterness. “Why, what has he said, dear?” asked her mother mildly, “Oh, nothing much-—but 1 suppose he thinks it is funny! He says that he has just shot a ten-foot-long crocodile, and that as soon as he gets another he will have a pair of slip pers made for me out of the skins, Funny ianit ey . . . - Just Verdict. “Waiter!" From the table by the window the voice of an elderly gen tleman rose in accents wrathful “Waliter!” ‘“Yes, sir’ replied the much harassed one, hastening forward. The elderly gentleman, overcome by his emotions, made several vain attempts to _articulate utterance. Then “take this egg away!"” he roared. *“Take {t away!"” “Yes, sir,” said the waiter, oblig ingly, as he glanced wistfully at the offending article, “And—and what shall 1 do with it, sir?” “Do with it?" The outraged cus toraer rose menacingly from his chair, “Da with it?" he bellowed. “Why, wring its neck!"” WHAT A BEAT! At a metropolitan theater not so many weeks ago a drama of London life was the attraction., KEach scene was a remarkably well-painted repro dugtion of a well-known locality. in one act a picture of Trafalgar squate was shown. It was complete in every detail, the realistic effect being en hanced by a policeman walking lei surely across the stage. He was a supernumerary, not a speaking part "‘he scene immediately following was another part of London far distant, namely, the Mile End road Here, L the touch of reality was com pleted by a policeman walking across the stage, the same ‘“super.” Une of the galleryites noticed the lact and ig a “stage whisper” ex- Claimed to his friend beside him: . =ay, Bill, ain’t that bobby got a Tl e Weekly Georgi BRINGING UP FATHER u o l | OTEP ASIDE - ‘ ( ; DEAR - WiLL YYou 4 : SR -STEP . PLEASE HURRY - ' DINNER 19 NEARLY By coLLy.- ASIDE! OVER AND THE LISTEN TO ALL —~N— | <QUESTS ARE b THAT CAC KLING - ANXIOUS TO SEE o ! 'LLHAVE TO 40 | : You You <O AHEAD !IN | SUPPOSE - : f:\ i MAGGIE -1L WHETHER | 63 6 Q(’ } . BE RiGHT LIKE 1T OR C i bl £ DOwN' L NG R 2§ ' l ;"M“;fl lee an’ /} Z \\;\\\t 3 9‘““'\ o' e Ry %33}\\\\\\ 3 \‘ A Q cf; e 0 S£ ; : 8 .- é = < & & (fl‘\ ; L= | b _— g 7 i g [ 0, > e o Ol %. “‘: &\@ p S 9 \‘ R ~ Gy ; R — - SN = V=="- ‘ - TN, : =/ /== VI N LN/ = /== \ ! == - - IO > X 4 =)/} N\ T 2 s i ‘e .- : “, 5 LT . POLLY AND HER PALS T il MARK MY WoRDS! Yeutt - “THE EXTENSION OF EMER BURN THAT WG N ; GReEN e LIMIT ] OR ILL TAKE THE MATTER ~ ) , "G CAILS V 1! o with MA, L witt i : ~~—>—-T’* t I 3\ ; .~. \"r y/I, : ;‘f S i t . s [ -’-.. b ’/ = 2O e & /SR (M )/ R (a o ‘ ; ,/\\‘ ? . ; !l / ] v ssg ~ ¥ :\ i, A S YNNG ) ¥ § 3 s (85 i | 4 X A~ N e *Rt , i 4 ‘//’/ [ \Q: / A j‘%{_\i}"l—j =i.’ % w :",_.}_;' .:..,’,“ , » i e 0 ' gy gC A E = ! 7 ! «5:,: }' = .‘v- % ‘ 7 e x S ‘ e AR b Yl ) TWz il} AU e P 22 |\ il ’" ‘ !7’ i é"?-?é:(f@.,.g =g = '%I l %fl/ flfluuu ] é ¢ ./ (I ETIY B et L _ f)- ._- /| ! — " i\‘ i / " Do You Know— A Paris firm has invented an in genious method of signalling from aeroplanes. The device consists of a tube placed in such a position that a strong current of air from the pro peller passes through it and is con nected by a valve with a reservoir filled with soot. Thi svalve can be operated by the passenger in the aero plane in such a manner as to release either large or small quantities of soot from the reserveir into the tube. The soot whirled out of the tupe by the draught forms in the wake of the machine long or short streaks ot black, by means of which messages can be given in the Morse code. The whole apparatus weighs not more than nine pounds. The Department of Agriculture at Washington has ordered an investi gation of the charges that enormous quantities of chicken are “fattened with rock and sand” in their food mixtures by unscrupulous dealers. After examining samples of the birds, it is stated that there was an average of one-half pound of rock and sand in each chicken's crop, and it would appear from statistics that New York City alone buys every week from 150,000 to 300,000 pounds of rock and sand substances, paying the prevail ing poultry market prices. s R S The telephone is being put to many strange uses as a labor-saver and an emergency aid. In the cost-Keeping gystems in many factories the work men do not keep their own time rec ords, but telephone to the bookkeeper whenever they start or finish a job, so that he ean make the entry. Au tomatic telephone temperature re corders are used in orchards to save fruit crops from fro¥%t. When the tempeasature talls the central operator is notified, %o that she can arouse the farm fhand¢ and send them out with smudf e pots INDOOR SPORTS F————. =R T:ans'ewl.gfu@it: E\GNWHAT?JZ?.AT!;?AV:TTE&-- /// NES A FELER ’///%4 | AND TWE quGuT | 816 LEAGUE StouTS —- 17 fifi?mefis GEE ( Gan STICK By THE FoUND TWESE GUN S /// 777 :sr BOSS EveN AfG WEDPLE THAT GAVE EM A START - v B ] el T - STUCK By TWEM - | pTEM 1N BIG TDWNS E:AT N :\AEJ_I-P/N& A e TANTFIGIT T | e rom A FEW (BT ) wERINE S, | ke v B ™ BEANS MOFE THEDC e L VOURE IN OF {;r&ow A ANE. e W Joiv ARWAL LE g =_ A ‘UL/ =h { )me v 2 ) el ///// / Sl \%/7; = = R\ e 7 AN X WXV A g sl / ‘(;: ’4‘ o (/‘, %25 : i o - 5 e[ I £ ’,/; ' e f \ } / N D, \ik e . /o bl i L , £ Wi 74 8 A\ S 2BS LY / ) D> "3 \}[’, AR 20 / . — = AT COALY A AR / ’/// / ///4 N )RR 7/ /, // '/ // . g/4D=/’SN By | e A 7 f) - - / N | \ . - r /// RPN ) / //{// ?sfi’;gl |-:/ | )\ - e IR % Z R i : I x 'l),’ | :’ i it || |NDOOR SPORTS ;‘, f \ /"‘ ‘| | KNOCK (NG THE \\ ® FEDERALS _ THE GEORGIANS