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PET REPORTER
^ Grieving pet owners find comfort, support after loss
BYJ.D. MOOR
Retired psychologist and support group facilitator Robin Chisolm-
Seymour, right, talks with Tiffany Stewart, center, and others who have
lost their pets, during a session at Georgia Veterinary Specialists.
Editor’s note: Brookbaven writer J.D.
Moor attended Georgia Veterinary Spe
cialists’ pet loss support group after his cat,
Jem, died last December.
For many of us, our pets are like fam
ily. They provide constant companion
ship, unconditional love and joy.
I was my cats caregiver for years. He
needed two insulin shots and two other
medications each day. He was nearly 20
years old when his kidneys shut down.
Suddenly, caregiving meant the emo
tional whiplash of choosing euthanasia
instead of sustaining his life. Novelist
Carol Anshaw once wrote that “taking
on a pet is a contract with sorrow.” With
Jem’s final illness, my own contract with
sorrow had come to fruition.
Luckily, I found a place to talk. Re
tired psychologist Robin Chisolm-Sey-
mour leads a pet loss support group at
Georgia Veterinary Specialists in Sandy
Springs. “Painful memories, including
ones of guilt, will slowly turn to recog
nizing the gifts that Jem gave you, both
in life and in death,” she said.
Her own cats death offered such a
gift in disguise. Chisolm-Seymour was
in the GVS waiting area, while seeking
care for her ailing cat, Ming. By chance,
she met the clinic’s marketing manager,
Kim DeMeza.
“I discovered that Robin had a pas
sion for helping people and pets. We
started the conversation about a group
that day and, after several months in
cluding much research as well as Ming’s
passing, we had a plan that we felt was
kismet,” DeMeza said.
Since 2008, some 170 people have
attended the 90-minute meetings.
The gatherings are held every week on
Wednesday evenings; they are free and
anyone can attend multiple times.
For optimal comfort and discussion,
the group usually numbers four to six
people.
Aleida Oehlke of Buckhead had
two bichons and a cat die within nine
months of one another. “My heart will
never be the same with them gone,” she
said. “Robin’s words taught me skills to
cope. She has the heart to understand
how deep the pain is with each loss.”
Other participants say the group dis
cussions helped them, too.
Chip Little of Brookhaven lost his
beagle, Charlotte, when she was 16.
“Robin recommended the book, ‘The
Loss of a Pet’, ...and we cried a lot,” he
said. Four months later, he adopted a
rescue beagle. “We named him Charlie
in Charlotte’s honor,” he said.
Darla Yamaato’s dog, LeiLei, died
of pneumonia when she was only nine
months old. “It felt like the life had
been sucked right out of me,” the San
dy Springs woman said. “It helped me
to hear how some other members (of
the group) were working through their
grief.”
Nahum Nicholas fosters many cats
until they are adopted. When two of her
own elderly cats died six months apart,
she sought out the group.
“It helps just to have a place where I
can talk about my pets and spend time
thinking of them, since other people in
my life may not welcome my need to
grieve them, especially after the first few
days or weeks after their passing,” Nich
olas said.
Many group members learn to channel
their grief in positive ways.
Some people write journals filled with
warm memories. Others create memorials
on Facebook, plant a tree or erect a bird-
house. And some do volunteer work with
shelters and trap-neuter/spay-return pro
grams.
Group facilitator Chisolm-Seymour
acknowledged the degree of pain reflects
how much love was felt for the pet, but the
group’s magic is in commiseration.
“The most rewarding thing to see is not
only how each person begins the journey
toward healing,” she said, “but also how
many are able to reach out to help the oth-
>5
ers.
CVS isn’t the only place offering
grieving pet owners a place to face their
losses.
There are a number of pet bereave
ment groups available online and in per
son.
-A pet loss support group meets at
the crematory facilities of Deceased Pet
Care in Chamblee. These sessions began
in 2012 and are led by Counselor Jen
nifer Wilmoth, a licensed associate mar
riage and family therapist. They meet for
60 minutes, but only once a month on the
first Tuesday. This group also is open to the
public and free.
“The group is a great place for peo
ple to learn about the grieving process in
a supportive environment after the loss of
their beloved family pet,” Wilmoth said.
For more information, call 770-457-7659
or visit www.deceasedpetcare.com.
-The Paws, Whiskers and Wags pet
crematory offers an in-person 90-minute
session the first Tuesday of each month.
Free and open to the public, the meet
ings are held in Decatur. For more infor
mation, call 404-370-6000 or visit www.
pawswhiskersandwags.com.
-The ASPCA website has help on var
ious pet loss issues, including a hotline.
Visit www.aspca.org/Home/Pet-care or
call 877-474-3310.
-The Association for Pet Loss and Be
reavement has a wide range of online ser
vices. Visit www.aplb.org.
For more information, call 770-642-
3665 or visit www.gvsvet.com.
Shop our online store, reservations and
appointments at www.thepetset.com
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