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6A I DAWSON COUNTY NEWS I dawsonnews.com
Wednesday, May 9,2018
The worst kind of gone
A friend’s mother died
recently so I pulled out
stationery and set about
writing him a note filled
with words of compas
sionate and deep under
standing.
“There is no worse
kind of gone than that of
Mama,” I scribbled.
I paused, remembering
a similar note that I had
received from Senator
Zell Miller when my own
Mama had died. In lovely
cursive script, he shared
the grief he suffered
when his own mother had
died - his father passed
away when he was six
months old so his mama
raised him. I had been
touchingly overwhelmed
by the sensitive words of
a tough-Marine-turned-
tougher-politician. Even
the strongest men are
softened to mush at
thoughts of mama. My
heart wrenched because
the Senator had passed
away the previous week
and I was still sorrowing
over that loss.
Our friend’s mother
had been 97 but there is
never a good time to lose
Mama.
“Tennessee Williams
once opined that all men,
regardless of age, die too
young,” I wrote. “That is
especially true of Mamas.
They all die too young.”
The spring before
Mama’s death, I devel
oped an infection in a fin
ger, brought on by a man
icurist cutting a cuticle
too deeply with soiled
clippers. No amount of
doctoring or antibiotics
could save the fingernail
and it came off. I was
unnerved by this but
Mama was comforting
and reassuring. Years
before, she had lost a nail
RONDARICH
Columnist
when she sewed over it
while making a dress.
She was zipping along, as
she was prone to do,
when the speed pulled
her finger under the rap
idly moving needle.
Mountain stoic as always,
she did not cry or create a
commotion. She simply
poured alcohol over it,
bandaged it and carried
on.
“It’ll be fine,” she
counseled me. “In about
a week, a light shell of
protection will grow over
the tender skin. In a few
months, a new nail will
grow out completely and
it’ll be good as new.”
We were talking on the
phone while I sat on the
second step of the stair
case, eyeing the wounded
finger. I persisted in my
distress while she patient
ly persisted in her reas
surance that it was noth
ing at all to be worried
about. The healing hap
pened exactly as she had
promised.
I miss that kind of reas
surance and comfort.
The day before she
died, we were attending a
non-profit fundraiser
when someone showed
me a letter to the editor of
a newspaper that runs this
column. A woman had
nothing good to say about
me but she was particu
larly vitriolic when she
criticized my stories
about Mama which she
thought were disrespect
ful. My heart sunk. I
never meant to disrespect
Mama. I meant only to
show her spirit, her wit
and the typical ups and
downs of a daughter-
mother relationship.
As I was absorbing the
downright mean words,
Mama walked over. I did
what I always did when
my heart was hurting. I
turned to Mama.
“Look at this letter
someone wrote about
how I talk about you.” I
was close to sobbing.
Mama took the news
paper and read it while I
watched her carefully.
Somewhere around half
way through it, her face
reddened and fury swept
into her eyes. She did not
finish it. She wadded it
up and handed it back to
me.
“That woman needs to
mind her own business!
How dare her write a let
ter like that about me and
my little girl. I’ll have her
know right now that I
don’t have a problem
with nary a word you
write about me. You
made Mama a star and I
enjoy every minute of it.
Besides, you tell it like it
is.”
My heart lifted, I
grabbed her and hugged
her tightly. “Oh, Mama,
thank you!”
I miss that kind of
unconditional love and
support.
These two stories out
of thousands remind me
how true it is: There is no
worse gone than that of
Mama.
Ronda Rich is the best
selling author of Mark My
Words: A Memoir of
Mama. Visit www.rondar-
ich.com to sign up for her
free weekly newsletter.
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