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( 'I SENIOR’S SAD SURPRISE. Come over, boys, and listen, And hear the story told According to tradition, IIow “Charby’s” marks were stole. On top of the building called “Moore' That day as the Sun went down, “ Old Charby’s busy wind-guage Went whirling round and round. iabout one thousand, but the Univer sity is still where it was.; the fire companies are still noted for their swiftness to plugs on tournament days and their slowness to fires when life and property are at stake ; passenger trains stop at the depot during com mencement, and whenever they are flagged at other times. Dorsey’s old bus still rumbles over the village; buzzards continue to roost in thell The e’er uncertain “ Sissewo ” Locked doors secure Then to his lonely dwellin Retired for the night. and tight, so it will soon be all over the world the spectrascope failed to reveal; the that the petrified body is not the sand is said to contain some sugar, “ missing link,” but a man who wasjbut not enough to cause any alarm; so unfortunate as not to be liked by:the eggs are found to be well ad- the students in former times ; he will vanced to that state when they run be a warning to Professors to respect chirping about the yard; the report, the students as Lot’s wife is a warn- gentlemen, will be finished tonnor ing to all Christians not to turn back row night at the same hour and place: to their sins. jadieu.” Everybody will believe more strong. When the boys create too much dis- in evolution; they will say that order, the “Doctor” lets lo~se his cemetery, on the banks of where thelman surely sprung from a monkey ifigrim monster, which is familiarly Oconee used to flow, but the riverbed so much improvement can be made unknown as “butter,” whose strength, a thousand years. “ Foot ” will again like Samson’s lies in its hair, and, as he has been changed, and the old chan jnel has been filled up ; immense phos The yells and shouts of students From the Campus long had gone ; In dreams of sweet security, Old Charby ” slumber on. But the quiteness was broken , By voices young—not gay— And the darkness was illumined, But not by the light of day. come forth and tell the world that thelstalks back and forth among the man was considered a strange being Yahoos, discord ceases and they be- in his time, and not at all like other come obedient as lambs, men. : We appeal to friends of humanity phate beds are found where the river once ran, close by the buzzard roosts; a petrified mass is found in these beds, jwhich resembles a human body, and; Here I awoke and found that I hadito release* us from the clutches of the |is put in the museum for inspection;been dreaming, but it is clear to me!“ Doctor” of “Butter,” and of the I men came from far and near to see|that it is just as Athens will be a flies. [the remains of what once was a curi-jthousand years hence. j A. Yahooite. !ous and wonderful animal; evolu- ‘ — ! itions will be at its zenith, and all YAHOO HALL {evolutionists to be the For plans were formed at midnight,[will believe will believe this body •” everybody YAHOO HALL. missing link [until the body shall be identified by | kept by one called “ Doctor,” though {the stomach of an ostrich or billy [“Foot” who is the only man living|wHY so called we do not know, tin-goat. Terms $13.50 per month, col- jwho knows anything about the body,less it is because he “ doctors ”. thejlected when I can get it. Beds hard [and he will not acknowledge it for a [grub. The grub house is three stories! as a gridiron—butter able to walk— [long time, but finally he will say tojhigh, and commands two walks, so itlcoffee not able to stand alone without [the Soph. Class in Math, (lie will bejis an easy matter for the Yahooite, orjerutehes—fly syrup—plenty of water [teaching the Sophs, again by then,) the boarder at Yahoo, to cast 1120 onj—beefsteak every “ young gentlemen, there is a petri- the passer by. The Yahooite is a!ont of what’s left. [fied body in the museum which every-clever animal when well fed, but whenlculars apply to the [body believes to be the “missing“ sawdust soup” and “fly biscuit” * Proprietor. link,” but it is not. Now if you wish are placed before him, his temper be- 'study hard that night and recite Math, altogether “night is made hideous.”: Professor White- In a room remote and dark, To rummage through the building And steal the Physic’s mark. From the secret place of meeting, Disguised every man, To, the lofty old Moore-building, Did go this little hand. And grand in all the darkness They saw the building use, With lofty, towering turrets, Uplifted to the skies. Who stands beneath the yvivh'Jw AVith face turned to the skie$, And contemplates the lofty; walls,- Measures the ladder with his eyes : Will the hero dare to-climb it— That dreadful, sickening height, Or will the hot blood in his veins. Freeze at the very sight! Look! soon for silent answer, With glad and twinkling eyes, From out “ Old Charby’s window, He flings the long sought prize. With quick and eager glances, They saw to their surprise, “ great lawyer of Cordele ;” four That several studious Seniors pew Professors were added to the Had failed to make a rise. [faculty; among this number was one called “Rocks” because he made rocks, a special study and didn’t know much about them; he stayed here hence, [only a short time before he mysteri- — |ously disappeared ; some thought that I had studied until a late hour on he had gone a mile or so out of town my Geology final about the formation and couldn’t find his way back; others of the earth, and of the changes it thought he had run against a tree and has undergone in ages past. I was s« butt out his brains (preposterous sup- deeply absorbed in my study that I position); he was not wanted badly This is a grub house for students in evolution for a time,[and is situated on the campus. It is! Three meals a day,calculated to ruin meal, bash made For further parti te know what it is, learn your Math.{comes well, for to-morrow and work out alljcheer. my-bidepepdeiiljjS, then Lyfll tgllwimfioaad . what it is, and how it came to be|night, bells will ring and pop gunsi' n Chemistry ? I wrote fine papers where it was found.” The Sophs willlwill poo about over the campus and and surely must have made over 94.” - - - - ■ ~ ™ " “How variable., and he is liable to] kick on the floor, and “sling! Gaston—“Professor White, how is about the grub tabic; and at ;’t- that T.cam.e no higher than seventh. i do you bund out and A STUDENT’S DREAM. OK ATHENS A THOUSAND YEARS fancied I could see the earth as it was at the beginning of the Archean age ; I noted all of its changes from that time to this, and I tried to imagine bow it would be a thousand years from now, but sleep overtook me, and, folding me gently in his arms, carried t don’t guess, for they sent Cran Oliver to bunt him and they surely didn’t want to find him; he was soon forgotten, and I bad not heard of him for several hundred years: the truth of the matter is, that some students carried him snipe hunting and some me to the land of dreams. There Ijone pushed him in tlie river, and when was not permitted to read the whole The magic number for you is 5, and your average is only 89 for the year. You did not come distinguished at perfectly, and “Foot” will say, “ IjThe Yahooite never attends prayers know you made 94, and came seventh, [promised to relate to you the history lor church. The subject of “ Grub ” Mr. (las ton 1” of the “missing link,” did I not ?” is the cause of frequent altercations' Gaston—“ The boys fo ■“ Yes, sir; yes, sir:” the boys will say,'between the “Doctor” and the[t°ld me.” and tlie Prof, will thus begin : “ Some; Yahoos ; the former insists that cast! Professor White—“They misled thousand years ago, in 1SS9 or 90, 11 iron bread and chicory infusion are|j ou : the boys stole those marks which disremember exactly which, a changejthe best brain fowls, while the latter were only “ tentative.” I have a was made in the institution; the claim that the food used bv tlie ma gic number for each man, and I bouse that is known to you as “ Yahoo “genus homo” should be fed to always deduct that number from the • Hall” was-first called by that name'tliem, • but the “Doctor” being su- mark that I make in my little book, by Judge Warren, whom you all re-Jpreme (second only to “ Charby,”)' member to have beard of as the the Yahooite is driven to the terri-i ble alternative, either to eat the so- called food or to starve; some choose one, some the other, but in the long run it is all the same. To maintain their rights, the Yahoos appoint com mittees to investigate the grub every * month, and here is the last report,' made from tlie 3d story window by one called “ Carl ” by liis best girl but-“Welly” by the boys : “Gen tlemen of the Yahoo, attend to the report : tlie committee conducted the investigation according to the latest scientific principles; the bread we find { to be a mixture of flour, water and flies, the latter preponderating: tlie { meat is solid—far too solid to eliew, and indeed would ruin the stomach of a sausage grinder; the coffee is an infusion distilled from a mixture of ] roast beans, chicory, and a few book of future events, but I only saw the page dedicated to Athens; the city appeared to be somewhat changed; the ting-a-ling of the bells on the lit tle street car mules is no longer heard, and tlie track is buried beneath the mud; the population seems to be I saw the petritied body I knew it|of the real article: Tlie hash—ok was the body of Professor Rocks : gentlemen, shall I mention it ? The the boys were hard students at that time-hash is found to consist of meats of and they put him in the river so the|Various kinds, do ; broken get a man who would i & collars, pewter spoons, broken glass and crockery The Soplisflies without number, like the sands and Seniors, who on the sea shore, roach-combs, dish will write it up for the Constitution,{rags, and many other tilings which trustees could teach them something will tell tlie Juniors Professor Woodfin—“ This men in- getis is a terrible thing; it leaves one a physical ruin and a mental wreck.” Bob McGough—“ I’ve bad it.” Professor.—“I thought you must have had something of the kind.” Professor in Astronomy. “ Do not say that the full moon is seen in tlie west and the new moon in the east, but that the new moon is seen in the east and the full moon in tlie west.” We have beard men advised to fol low their nose, but if our good friend Beck, 90, was to do this, lie would land in the N. E. corner of Pluto’s realm about Saturday night. What’s Smith’s let the matter ■? It’s all r with icjht. Gander Subscribe for the Bumble Bee.