Newspaper Page Text
4.
The University Bumble-Bee.
Robert'Heartsick,
Editor-in-Chief.
Tom Buckhead,
Dick Sharpeye,
Sam Reporter,
Associate Editors.
Snap Dunner,
Business Manager.
The University Bumble-Bee is
issued whenever circumstances
demand it. Information concern
ing the time of publication, etc.,
can be had by addressing all com
munications to The University
Bumble-Bee, office, College Belfry,
Athens, Ga. Terms, 25c. per copy.
OUR PURPOSE.
Think not, dear reader, that The
University (Bumble=(Bee is an an
nual publication by the Univer
sity students. The state of af
fairs in the University for the last
few years has not met with the
hearty'approval of those interested
in her welfare. The students,
from the very nature of their po
sition realizing these things more
forcibly than the Trustees or any
other men can, instigated by a
pure and patriotic motive, have
attested to the unfitness of several
What Constitutes A Professor?
THE UNINE tSITY BUMBLE-BEE.
embers of the Faculty for the
high and responsible positions
they occupy, in a previous issue
of this little paper: the work of
the present editors, following in
the shining pathway of our pre
decessors, is to reiterate what has
been affirmed that at an early
date a thunderbolt of retribution
should fall from the hands of the
Trustees—to their honor and the
infinite good of the college. But
if we fail in our earnest and sin
cere endeavor to accomplish our
end, no less enthusiastic in behalf
of the college will be the work of
many, yet foreign to the Univer
sity. Manhood that is being de
veloped ’round firesides in various
parts of the state, where influences
of truth, virtue and honesty mould
the character, will rise in sheer
disgust, as it is to-day, when ac
quainted with the tyranny and
imbecility that reigns in many
branches of the college. A reform
is necessary. In these degenerate
days of the University, when a de
fender of truth beholds the rotten=
ness so clearly manifested on every
hand, he will turn aside’ from
these scenes, like the mythologi
cal Astraea who turned her back
upon enfeebled mankind in the
Iron Age, and declare that a deluger
should take j>lace, and a new Fac
ulty be instated.
Since the coming of Dr. Rih y T ,
into our midst, this question has
been much mooted. It was sup
posed until this year that a knowl
edge of the subject he is obliged
to teach was necessary in aprofess-
sor. This delusion has however
been dispelled and now we cry out
to the Trustees to give us another
answer. When we complain of Dr.
Riley’s incompetency, we are told
that he is a new man and has not
yet learned the ways of the insti
tution but will be all right in
time. This seems to contain the
.elements of an answer to our ques
tion : An ignoramus who knows
nothing when he arrives will be
eminently suited to be a professor
as soon as he has learned the ways
of the institution! The story of the
jackass who obtained office applies
in this case; since Riley’s arrival
every jackass who knows the ways
of the institution has been running
for a professorship. If this is the
qualification necessary in the eyes
of the Board of Trustees, Dr.
Riley may some day be qualified
as a professor; but we do not be
lieve that the Trustees think in
this way. We believe that Riley
was elected through mistake and
information, and that wheq
’.Trustees" aiscoVof on© 1 proofs
of his utter failure, they will not
wait for him to learn the ways of
the institution, before relegating
him to the shades from which by
(for him) a fortuitous combina
tion of circumstances he sprang
into publicity.
A Call for an Investigation.
For the third time, the abuses
in the management of the Univer
sity have reached such a height
that those of the students who
have at heart the welfare of this
institution have been compelled to
issue a publication setting forth
these abuses and asking for an in
vestigation; and this is all we
ask. Surely where there is so
much smoke there must be some
fire. Three times have students
risked expulsion and disgrace,
given months of ^abor and gone
to much expense in order to issue
The (Bumble-Tee. There is no
doubt that under the present re
gime the University is fast be
coming converted into little more
than a High School. An oligar
chy based upon the wealth and
position of the students has be
come established. One whose
father is an influential man can
dare to do and say things fo;
which the poor student is immedi
ately expelled. Nepotism and fi
voritism run rampant over the
ruins of a glorious institution.
The Alma Mater of Stephens and
Hill is turning out graduates who
cannot write a grammatical "sen
tence.
The students of the University
bear as warm affection to her now,
prostrate in the dust as she is,
as ever did those who upheld her
honor in her palmy days. Our
task is harder than theirs, to raise
our mother from the pit into which
she has been cast by those who
should have supported her, to
drive out the monster who, with
the trident of mismanagement,
insincerity and unpopularity, is
pressing her down deeper and
deeper; to put to rout him who
holds her gagged and keeps from
her growing children the knowl
edge of the language she has taught
their brothers; to put to flight the
petty parasites which are draining
herlife blood; this is our mission,
to execute it we have resorted to
these means.
To you who know not our
position, they may seem low and
mean; but let us remember that
to bless the human race, Prome
theus resorted to theft, and al
though discovered and punished,
yet his sufferings were those of a
if we, like Prometheus, must be
punished for daring to try to bene
fit those who shall come after us,
we will suffer in patience and with
no reproach of conscience, for we
know that what we have tried to
do was prompted by motives as
pure as those which animated the
breasts of the pioneers of the Re
formation, and that “we have done
what we could.”
Our subscription list numbers
1,500—the largest of any Bee in
the south.
Our climate is not so well adapt
ed for bees as that of other states,
but is productive of very
sweet flowers, upon which bees
grow to enormous sizes.
Not invariably doth
in publicity.
success
lie
Press Personals.
The Observer: “From all ac
counts of Rev. Dr. Boggs’ trip to
the Columbian Fair, during the
cessation of arduous duties, we
conclude that the joys of youth
were renewed in the companion-
snip of worldlings.”
The Thunderbolt: “We appreci
ate the fact that Dr. Boggs is very
sensitive to attacks on his negli
gence in meeting the full require
ments of his office. But we will
take the liberty, in view of his in
competency for the Chancellor
ship,to say that he ought never to
absent himself more than ten days
at a time in behalf of his son
Adam.”
1The Alabama Prediction: “B.
F. Riley has passed into Georgia!
We truly believe that we express
the sentiment of all his acquaint
ances when we Hope he will never
return. Doubtless when he is well
known, Georgians will speak in
stronger terms than these.”
Letters From the People.
Mr. Editor:
I was in Athens last Commence
ment, when The (Bumble=(Bee was
issued, and there was such a de
mand for copies, and as I was
very anxious to have one, I paid
$2.50 for a single copy, (others
paid more). To avoid this heavy
expense this year, preserve a copy
for me in your office, and I will
call on Sunday before Commence
ment to get it. I shall not go to
church that day. Truly,
B. Fiddlesticks.
To. The (Bumble-Tee:
I re^gnized the fact the first
iUsmksr, ^BoggsJhatJffJa
not the man for the first place in
the University. I know nothing
of Riley as he recently came to
the college, or of that little man
you call Coates; but as what was
said of Boggs in last issue is true,
I consider that The (Bumblebee
lieth not, but its corps of editors
are truthful and loyal to the insti
tution. Therefore I am ready and
willing to help you in any way I
can. Call on me!
Respectfully,
F. H. Larkspur.
RILEY’S FORMULA.
Formula for Finding the Size of Col
lar an Orator should wear.
2 z x ^ a w—k h, in which z is
the size usually worn, h is the
height in inches of the speaker, w
is the weight, ^ is a constant
which will vary according to the
condition of health of the speaker
and according to the nature of
speech he is to make. For a di
dactic speech, k may be safely
taken as .62, but for a political
speech or a class oration, it cannot
be safely taken as more than .6.
If the size of collar is obtained
according to this formula, the
speaker can easily pass his fist
down his neck inside his collar,
and make other graceful and ef
fective gestures.