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TWENTY
THE BULLETIN OF THE CATHOLIC LAYMEN’S ASSOCIATION OF GEORGIA
AUGUST 31, 1957.
FAMILY CLINIC
WHY IS IT CONSIDERED WRONG
TO DATE A DIVORCED PERSON?
(By Father John L. Thomas, S.J.,
Assistant Professor of Sociology
at St. Louis University)
Why is it considered so wrong
just to go on a date with a di
vorced person? If people are old
enough to know their own minds,
there’s no reason why they can’t
go out together merely for enter
tainment. When they both recog
nize that there can be no thought
of marriage, what’s the danger of
going together once in awhile?
After all. divorced persons are
human, too; they can’t be expect
ed to sit home all the time.
* * *
Well, Betty, I think you know
the answer as well as I do al
though you may find difficulty in
facing it squarely. However, be
cause a good number of people
seem to share your views on this
matter, it may be worth-while to
go over the situation in some de
tail. According to reliable esti
mates, between 700,000 and 800,-
000 divorced persons are being
turned loose in American society
every year. The majority of these
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eventually remarry and it appears
that they do not necessarily re
marry divorced persons. At pres
ent the chances that a divorced
person will remarry are as good
as, if not better than, the chances
that a single person in a similar
age group will do so.
The fact that the majority of
divorced persons seemingly en
counter little difficulty in finding
suitable mates and eventually re
marry suggests that such unions
are no longer regarded with
strong disfavor by the American
public. Indeed, some commentat
ors point to the high rate of re
marriage after divorce as an indi
cation of how highly Americans
must value marriage. Although
we have no complete data con
cerning the number of Catholics
involved in divorce and remarri
age, there is sufficient evidence to
show that an increasing number
are following the popular trend.
This does not necessarily mean
that all such Catholics have com
pletely rejected the Church’s
teaching on marriage. No doubt,
some of them have. The majority,
however, are conscious that either
in remarrying or in attempting
marriage with a divorced person
they are living contrary to the di
vine law. They find themselves
entangled in their present situa
tion because they have allowed
themselves to fall in love under
circumstances in which valid
marriage was impossible.
As you see, Betty, this brings
us to the subject of dating. Daily
experience in this matter teaches
a very simple fact. The association
of adult males and females in mu
tual attachment and eventually to
that emotional involvement called
love. When this happens, some
couples convince themselves that
their need for each other is great
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er than their need for God, so
they enter a civil marriage. Oth
ers refuse to take this step and
continue their frustrating associa
tion for years.
Nobody can deny that the lot
of the divorced person in our so
ciety is very difficult. Since re
marriage is impossible under the
circumstances, he must seek hap
piness and fulfillment by heroical
ly directing his energy and in
terests along other channels. This
is an impossible task unless he
faces his problem realistically and
humbly seeks strength and moti
vation from prayer and the sacra
ments.
It should be obvious that you
are not really helping a divorced
person adjust to his difficult sit
uation by accompanying him on
dates. Moreover, you are not only
running the risk of falling in love
with him, but you are also seri
ously lessening your own chances
of meeting a legitimate partner.
It is easy to put up a smoke
screen of excuses, rationaliza
tions, and false justifications to
soothe our consciences, but we
don’t destroy reality by our re
fusal to face it honestly.
No, Betty, you can’t continue
to date him if you wish to keep
God’s friendship.
* * *
(It will be impossible for Fa
ther Thomas to answer personal
letters.)
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Hapevilia
ST. JOHN’S
PARISHIONER
TAKES VOWS
Requiem For
Dr. E. J. Smith
COLLEGE PARK — On August
15, Miss Gilliam Olds, daughter
of Dr. and Mrs. Bomar Olds made
temporary vows in the Congre
gation of the Sisters of the Most
Precious Blood at Dayton, Ohio.
Miss Olds was a member of St.
John’s, Hapeville, prior to her
entry into Religious life.
His Excellency Clarence Issen-
man. Auxiliary Bishop of Cin
cinnati officiated at the invest
ment ceremony at which Miss
Olds was clothed and veiled in
the habit of the community. She
has chosen the name of Sister
Gabriella Marie, her mother’s
name.
The Sisters of the Most Pre
cious Blood, who staff the school
at Albany, were founded in Swit
zerland in 1843 and first found
their way to America in 1844
when they settled in the northern
part of Ohio at New Riegel.
The principal works of the com
munity are the e'ducation of
youth, care of orphans, work in
hospital and sanatoria, secretarial
work, and direction of domestic
duties in seminaries and episco
pal residences. Last year, widen
ing their apostolic endeavors, the
sisters began a school in Santiago,
Chile for the training of young
boys who wish to prepare for the
seminary, and deepening their
pqwerhouse of spiritual nutrition
was the opening of the cloistered
branch of the community at the
cradle of the Community in
America in New Riegel, Ohio.
The sisters have kept perpetual
adoration of the Blessed Sacra
ment in all of the large houses
since 1844 and Exposition of the
Blessed Sacrament has been a
privilege in the Motherhouse
since 1923.
HAHIRA — Dr. Edward J.
Smith, founder of Smith Hospital
here, and member of St. John’s
parish, Valdosta, died August 1st.
Requiem Mass was offered on
August 3rd for Dr. Smith at St.
John’s, The Rev. Thomas H.
Payne celebrated the Mass. The
Holy Rosary was recited the night
before at Martin’s Funeral Home,
Hahira.
Dr. Smith was mayor of Hahira
for several terms and practiced
medicine in this area for sixty-on®
years.
He is survived by his wife, Mrs.
E. J. Smith, one son, Dr. Raymond
Smith and one daughter, Mrs.
Walter R. Salter and one grand
son, all of Hahira,
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