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THE ATIjANTIAN 19 HOW ENUMERATION CHANG ED A. PATRONYMIC. A maiden lady, Miss Cocker by name, and her niece, who bears the same cog nomen, went one evening to a reception at the house of a friend, “What name, please?’’ inquired the l’ootman. “Miss Cocker," answered the elder lady. “Miss Cocker, too,” joined in the niece hurriedly. Whereupon the man of plush and but tons opened the drawing room door and, with all the dignity of his profession, ushered them into the midst of the com pany with the convulsing announcement: “Miss Cocker and Miss Cockatoo!” HE TAMED HIM. “What I want to know it,” said the proprietor of the Village Arms to the great lion tamer, who was in the bar, according to CasselV, “how you have the nerve to face the animals in the cage. ’ ’ “Oh, that’s easy enough. I just slum ’em I 'in not afraid or ’em, and I look at 'em steadily eye to eye.” Here he fixed such a strong gaze on the land lord that he quickly disappeared lest he should be turned, too. “See that stolid, silly-look.ng yokel over there?” asked the wild lead show man, fixing a keen, piercing eye cn i plowboy at the end of the room. “Yes,” was the hushed rejoiniter of the bystander; “what are you going to do to ’im?” “I’m going to fix ’im with my eye, and make him come over to me.” So saying, he glared fiercely at his “sub ject.” Presently the plowboy rose and came slowly towards the tamer. “Didn’t 1 say so?” whispered the showman. Sure enough, on came the yokel. When he was close to the tamer he suddenly let fly with his strong arm, and planted a well-directed blow on to the showman’s nose. “You’ll stare at me like that again, won't you ? ’ ’ he snarled. Z. WEBB, Popular Manager The Mirror. He’s making things hum at his shop. AND THE HORRORS OF REACHING SIXTY! “Ilow old are you, Elsie?” “Nine years.” “And you, Erna?” “I am twelve.” “ Really twelve? You are wonderfully well preserved!” PUZZLE: HOW LONG DID SHE STAY? “Dickie, I'm awfully sorry you use tobacco. I don't like it, and mamma simply loathes it. Will you stop when we are married ?'' W. A. WOODALL, Recently Re-elected Chief Con ductor Div. 457, O. R. C.— His Sixth Term. “Isn’t that asking a lot, dearie?” asked Dick. “I wouldn’t care for myself,” an swered the girl, “but you know it makes mamma deathly sick.” “Well, then,” he promised, cheerful ly, “I’ll tell you what I'll do. I'll never smoke when your mamma is with ns. ’ ’ She threw her arms around him. “Darling,” she murmured, “that’s so good of you! 1 was afraid you’d insist on smoking once in a while after we were married.” A MATTER OF VIEWPOINT. The violent-tempered manager was lecturing his clerk. “Look here, sir! ” he thundered, “this wont do! What on earth do you mean by making such wretched figures? They’re a perfect disgrace! Look at that 5; its just like a II! ” “I—or—I beg your pardon, sir,” re plied the trembling clerk; “but you see, sir, tin 1 figure is intended for u H! ” “A 3?” roared the manager. “Why. you idiot, it looks just like a 5! ” NOT RESPONSIBLE. Nurse—“What's that dirty mark or your leg, Master Frank?” Frank—“Harold kicked me.” Nurse—“Well, go at once and wash it off. ” . Frank—“Why? Tt wasn’t me what did it!”—Punch. RESTAURANT GRILL ROOM t ? 18 and 20 Marietta Sc. Best Place In Town to Eat Genuine Southern Cooking Milk, Blitter, Eggs and Vegetables Fresh from Folsom’s Farm Every Day. OPEN ALL NIGHT DAYSEY MAYME TO BE A NURSE. “TAKE CARE OF YOUR PEN NIES,” ETC. It is not on record in the Appleton family that Daysey Miiymo ever wiped a tear from a sufferer’s cheek, made gruel that wouldn’t kill at first taste, or bound up a sore toe, says the Atclii- v.on Globo. When such tasks were nec essary they were always left to ‘ ‘ Moth er. ” Therefore, there was much surprise in the family recently when Daysey Maymc announced her intentions of go ing into training to become a nurse. “Hut you don’t like to do such tilings,’’ her mother explained. “I know 1 don’t,” said Daysey Maymc, pinning on her false hair with a safety pin, “blit; the single beds in the hospital are so cute and I look so well in light blue. ” ONE ON THE DOCTOR. Dr. W. B. Church, who formerly held the chiiir of surgery in the Eclectic Medi cal College, tells this good one on him self, according to the Cincinnati Times- Star: “There was a tailor, a friend of mine, who once made mo a suit. Through some oversight or bit of carelessness on tin" part of an assistant, the coat was much too small. I promptly took it back and lie made me another. “Some months Inter my tailor and I met at an old mutual friend’s funeral. The tailor was under the impression that the deceased had been a patient of mine. “ ‘Well, Doc,’ said he, ‘you’re a hang sight luckier than I am.' “ ‘How’s that?’ 1 asked. “ ‘Well, it’s a cinch they can’t return ; any poor work of yours. ’ ’ ’ New York Husband—-But, my love, it would cost us $3,(100 a year to keep a machine. New York Wife—I know, John, but think of the money we’d save in car fare. C. G. DOBBS, Recently Re-Elected Treasurer Lodge 302, B. R. T.