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November* 1922 THE ATLANTIAN 23 When tweeds are brought from closets dark, And baggy knees arg^ pressed, When hats are exposed to view, Brought from their place of res; The old canoe has nice fresh paint, The lazy-back is new, They toil not, neither do they spin, That’s what the co-eds do. For the Ladies: Making a man a good wife is easier than making him a good husband. For the Gentlemen: It’s not enough to treat your wife well. Treat her often as well. Black George waited on tables in the Dixie Restaurant until via the draft he reached the trenches. Nobody was lying around dying, it wasn’t so bad as he had expected, and his mecurial spirits arose at once. “Hi, there, you ole Germans, sen’ us yo’ ole projectors and high ex plosions, we jes’ eats them tings,” he stood and shouted. Almost instantly a stray shell ex ploded and George was knocked flat. Comrades rushed to his aid. He lay for a moment unconscious, then roll ing his eyes he/whispered, “Say, bo, dese Germans sho gives service.” Client—Isn’t your fee pretty exces sive? Lawyer—Not at all. Think what it would be if we’d won! Scooty Blear. By C. W. Myers. A yahib is a mon wha has na mathe matical sense o’ responsibility in poot- in’ doun his score. * * * A kahab is a gawfer who ne’er brags aboot his game when fixin’ oop a match. <■ * * A beebish is a bachelor gawfer whase socks a’ways need darnin’. * * * A tootish is a mon wha is afraid tae use a guid ba’ at a water hole. * * * It micht be treason tae poot a kick in a joke on prohibition, but they’re aboot sixty-three million Americans wha are willin’ tae tak’ a chance. * * * If a birdie is ane oonder par an’ an eagle two oonder par I wad say that three ower par wad be a buzzard. * * » If soome men cad play as weel oon th’ coorse as in th’ locker-room there wad be mony a Chick Evans an’ a Walter Hagen. * * * It’s funny that when men become famous as ba’ players or poogilists or movie actors, or joost ordinary mil lionaires, they a’ hae thir pictures taken oon th’ first tee. * # ♦ I’ve a frien’ wha is th’ champion in motorcycle gawf. He a’ways has a bad time oon th’ greens. It’s joost a case of putt-putt-putt ilka time. Carnegie Drug Store Carnegie Way and Spring Street Telephone, Ivy 7061 and 4828 iiiiiiiiiiiMiiiiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiMiiiiiiiimiiiiiHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii FOR QUALITY AN‘D— QUICK SERVICE iiiimitiiiiiMMiiiiiiiimiiimiiiiiiiiiiiiiijiiiiiitiiiiiiiiiiitiiitiiiii We Deliver Anything Anywhere Everything New and Quality the Best THE UNIVERSA'L’CAR* Beaudry Motor Co. Authorized Ford Dealers i,iiii iiij ttTTTTTT^ Office and Salesrooms, 169-171 Marietta St. Garage Entrance, 118-120 Walton St. PHONE, IVY 0446 One tn/jrning little four-year-old Elwood was in the berry patch with his father. “Elwood,” said his father, “I’ll bet you a penny that I can pick a quart of berries quicker than you can.” In a few minutes Elwood was quite encouraged to find that he had finished picking his quart first. “Well, Elwood, |o you want to bet a penny on another quart?” “No,” replied his business-like son, “let’s bet a nickel this time.”—Roch ester Democrat and Chronicle. O’Smith—Do you think the women of today are good housekeepers? Bumpers—Yes, indeed—once they get the house in their name.—New Bedford Evening Standard. “What’s the difference between a dancer and a danseuse?” “Oh, just about twelve pounds of wardrobe, I s’pose.”—New York Sun. LET “PAT DO IT” 510 Courtland St. Th’ ither day I saw an owl an’ a parrot in th’ same cage at th’ zoo. In a’maist ilka organization ye’ll find a wise bird an’ a chatterin’ fool. Flapper (bursting in on her mother ecstatically)—Now, mother, I am go ing into the movies. You can’t say another word against it. The Bible tells us to! Mother—Wha-a-at ? “Yes, that lovely young English rector read it right out of the text this morning. I heard him! It said: ‘Go and cinema!”’ A dentist had just moved into a place previously occupied by a baker when a friend called. “Pardon me a moment,” said the dentist, “while I dig off those enam eled letters of ‘Bake Shop’ from the front window.” “Why not merely dig off the ‘B’ and let it go at that,” suggested the friend.—Everybody’s. Two golf players met in the club house after each had played eighteen holes. “Well,” asked the first, “how did it go today?” “Oh, I played the old Civil War game,” answered the stecond. “The Civil War game ? What do you mean? In the trenches all the time?” “No. Out in 61 and back in 64.” E. G. BEAUDRY, President ATLANTA, GA. Maud: Do you know, after all I’d done to encourage Dick to propose he didn’t do it. Edith:‘Well, he proposed to me. Maud: How did you manage it? Edith: I did all I could to discour age him.—Boston Transcript. Mrs. Newrich (after the guests have departed)—Be sure to count the spoons, James. “You may have a pretty mouth, dearie, but I’ll put mine up against it any day.”