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November, 1922 THE ATLANTIAN 2 V Mrs. Zeke Humphrey—Why ain’t you and Mrs. Abner Mudge on speak- in 1 terms no more? Mrs. Henry Hackett—She listened in on the telephone the other night while I was talkin’ to Mrs. Peters. THE MEANEST MAN IN THE WORLD. He plants rubber worms in his front lawn. —Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern. She—-Did you do well in your anat omy quiz? He—Not so much. I said there were seventeen verttbrae in the spinal col umn, but L find these new ballroom styles have uncovered a couple more— Denison Flamingo. “She confided to me that many had tried to kiss her. and none had suc ceeded. But lately, she said, she had become rather curious to know what it is like.” “Weren’t you surprised at that?” “Well, it gave me quite a start.”— Princeton Tiger. Teacher (to class in natural his tory)—What kind of birds are fre quently kept in captivity? Tommy—Jail mirds. — Christian Sun. Tall One—Oh, Mr. Small, what do you miss the most since you moved into the suburbs. Small One—The trains. “Physical culture, father, is perfect ly lovely!” exclaimed an enthusiastic young miss just home from college. “Look! To develop the arms I grasp this rod in both hands and move it slowly from right to left." “Well, well,” replied dad, admir ingly, “what won’t science discover next ? Why, if that rod had straw on the other end, you’d be sweeping.”— American Legion Weekly. LET “PAT DO IT” 510 Courtland St. “This is the second funeral he’s looked in on this month. Where does he get his drag?” “It’s the old man. He gets passes for everything.” The farmer had recently engaged a Scottish laborer, and placing a cheese on the breakfast table, told him to help himself. When the farmer returned, some time h|er, he found the man still eat ing. “Sandy,” he exclaimed, “you take a long time to breakfast, don’t you?” “Aweel,” replied the man, “a cheese o’ this size is nae sae soon eaten as ye may think!”—London Telegraph. THE CALL. “Extra!” shouted a newsboy in Hol lywood. And in a moment he was the center of a seething mob of supers.—Amer ican Legion Weekly. J. Eglar G. F. Haney J. W. L. Benson W. S. Brown •Hiiiiiiiiiiiiitimiii White Star Garage 329 and 333 MARIETTA ST. Ivy 6764 WE REPAIR ANYTHING ON WHEELS Storage, Washing, Repairing, Welding, Etc. Good Service, Reasonable Charge iiiiiiiimiiiiMiiiimi “CALL US’’ iimiimiiimiimmiiimiimiMiiiimiiimiMiiMiiiiiimiiimiimmiiiiiii • lllllilMlllimilllllllltllMlllllllllimilllMIIIIIIIIMIIIIIMttllimilllllllMIMIfllllllllllllimilllHItMMIMIIIIIIiMM Stephens & Hawk INCORPORATED DRUGGISTS - TO THE — NORTHSIDE ATLANTA, GEORGIA Hemlock 0255 . Hemlock 0256 iiiiiiiimiiiiimiiiimiiiiiiimiimiHiMiiiiiiiHiiiiHiiiHiiiiiHimmimm iiiMiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiMiimiiiiimiiiimiMiitiiiiiiHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitiiiiHiiiiiniiiuiiiiiitiiimiiiimiiiiiiMiMi Henry Ford is dismissing any man in his employ whose breath smells of liquor. The trouble with this edict is that it will skip so many chronic drinkers. Henry should dismiss from his service any man whose breath smells of chloroform, varnish, turpen tine, creosote, or hair tonic. Not many drinks in these days “smell like liquor.” Mike was building a stone wall on a very swampy piece of land. His friend, passing by, realizing that a grievous mistake was being made, hailed Mike and asked why he built a stone wall on such a very unreliable piece of soil. “No sooner will you have it built,” said he, “than it will topple over.” “Shure,” said Mike, “all thim things have been thought of. If you notice, I am building the wall three feet high and five feet wide so that when it top ples over it will be bitter than be fore.” Jock Kennedy and Scotty Mac- Tavish were playing over a new course for the first time. As they holed out on the first green Kennedy turned to Scotty and said: “Scotty, m’lad, how many strokes did you take?” “I’m no’ so sure what I had,” an swered .Scotty, “but I know you took six.” Teacher—Were you sick yesterday? Tommy—Yes, ma’am! I was sick of school! Mother (alarmed)—Why do you keep Jack in suspense ? Why don’t you say “yes?” Daughter (coolly)—I'm just getting even with him. Button Edgin, who got packed into a street car yesterday, reported that the ride he got was long enough but not wide enough! Professor (to class)—Is there such a thing as absolute nothing? Student—Well, professor, the Ger man pfennig is worth about one ninety-sixth of a mark. The nickel cigar is back, announces the newspaper. That explains a lot and clears up a mystery. We thought it was a tan nery. Helter—Why all the sounds of mirth and revelry next door? Has a cook come? Skelter—No, a visitor has gone. First Golfer—How many holes has the Mecklenburg course? Second Golfer—Twenty. “Twenty? How’s that?” “We always play the 19th hole twice, going and coming.” A New York policeman was charged with having taken a bribe of but fifty cents. It is these cheap men on the force that play havoc with its morale.