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THE ATLANTIAN 26 November, 1922 i J. A. BEALL (Grant Bldg.) iMimimimiiimiiiiiMiHMiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiHiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiMHmtimmiiiMiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiMiMi Cigars Cigarettes Tobacco Books, Papers, Magazines, Periodicals, Etc. Light Lunch Soda Water iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiMiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiMiiiiiiitiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiMiiiiiiniiiiiMiMmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii vA WE APPRECIATE YOUR PATRONAGE Father and son standing in front of “Teller's” window: Ingomede—And what does he tell, Dad, fairy stories? Dad—You’re right. These days he does! Uncle Tom—And what are you studying to be when you grow up, Ernest? Ernest (proudly)—A banker. “Jane! Lock up everything in the house at once!” “Won’t you come and make a four at bridge, sir?” “I’m exceedingly sorry, old man, but I don’t play bridge.” “You don’t play bridge? Then what Mary and John, who had been mar ried but a few years, were having do mestic troubles. Things were going from bad to worse and they had de cided to settle the matter in court. But Mary had begun to weaken and very much desired a reconciliation. Looking out of the window, she notic ed a pair of horses pulling a dump cart heavily loaded, “John, I wish we could pull together as those horses do.” John replied very meekly, “We could, Mary, if—we only had one tongue between us.” Booth Lady (at church bazaar)— Won’t you take a chance on this cake we ai’e going to raffle? Dyspeptic Gentleman—Madam, I take a chance on every cake I eat. The child of a religious mother was struggling with great dificulty to thread a needle. Several impatient ex clamations brought forth a reprimand from mother: “Ask God to help you, dear.” After an interval of continued effort the child replied, “I did. He said he couldn’t do it either!” Little Doctor L., who has just taken up the game, came into the locked room and joined the group at the 19th hole. "How you cornin’, Doc?” he was asked. “Well, I played ten on the first, and twelve on the second,” he replied in his perky way, “and then on the third I blew up.”—S. B. Lindsay, Marion, Ind. Salesman—Pardon me, sir, I have an attachment for your typewriter. Manager—Well, don’t bother her during working hours.—Notre Dame Juggler. Waiter (to irate customer)—We aim to please. Customer—Then I’d advise a little target practice.—Washington and Lee Mink. Willie—I looked through the key hole last night when May’s fellow was calling on her. Father—And what did you find out ? “The electric lamp.” — Michigan Gargoyle. An old lady, describing the symp toms of her ailment to a noted but ec centric physician, said: “The trouble, doctor, is that I can neither lay nor set.” Whereupon the good old doctor an swered her thus: “Then, madam, I would respectfully suggest the pro priety of your roosting.” The new minister stopped a little boy on the street. “What is your last name, little boy?” he asked. “Tommy!” “Tommy what?” “Tommy Jones.” “Then Jones is your last name.” “No, sir. Jones was my name when I was born, but sister says I was riot named (Tom,my until two weeks afterward.” Mother—Is your new friend Mar gery what I would call a nice girl, a dignified girl? Fair Undergrad—Oh, yes. Why, when we have plays we always give her the maid’s part because nobody else has good enough manners.—Co lumbia State. “What’s the big idea, keeping all this junk?” “Junk, Hell! Them are souvenirs. Can’t a guy treasure a few things to remember the Great War by?” Professor—Success, gentlemen, has four conditions. Voice from Back Row—Tough luck, the dean will kick it out of college.— Oklahoma Whirlwind. The whole world has gone wrong, wailed the moralist. There are not even as many up right pianos as there used to be.— Notre Dame Juggler. LET “PAT DO IT” 510 Courtland St. How to Get an Education. Last night Archibald learned that a straight comes in oftener, but not as useful as a full house. Sidney learned that “Little Joe” sel dom comes when called. Reuben learned to fox trot. Harold learned to kiss a girl. William learned how champagne is sold. Jack had a date and learned a lot. Today, they explained to the dean that they had spent the night study ing, and that they had learned their lessons.—Washington and Jefferson Wag Jag. Brother—Where is the paint re mover ? Mother—Why ? “Sister wants something to v|ash her face with.”—Denver Clarion. FOUR PATENTED IMPROVEMENTS Four patented improvements give Vesta batteries that extra vitality for which they are famous. CAN BE USED IN REPAIRING One of the betterments, ie, Vesta Impregnated Mats, can be used in repairing any make of battery. Our contract with the Vesta Accumulator Company permits us to use them in repair jobs and in many instances the battery is made to last longer than it did at first. ALL MAKES $ tnipected and Watered FREE j Repairing, Recharging VESTA ELECTRIC & SUPPLY CO. 12 West Peachtree Street Phones Ivy 2606-2607