Newspaper Page Text
33
September, 1922
THE ATLANTIAN
It may be that .you dubbed your shot
And sliced the ball clear off the lot,
Don’t start explaining, man alive,
Go on and drive.
Look forward to the rolling green
Not backward at the traps you’ve
seen,
For better shots just always strive,
Go on and drive.
What difference if you’ve fluked your
shot ?
Just give ’em all the stuff you’ve
got,
Keep going, then you’ll soon arrive,
Go on and drive.
Just grip your club and make a try
And please forget the alibi,
Speak truthfully and don’t connive,
Go on and drive.
Then if you’re beaten in the fray
Remember you’ve another day.
Forget it, man, you’re still alive,
Go on and drive.
The lessons learned in life and play
Are just the same, so plug away,
You never get there 'less you strive,
Go on and drive.
Bill Waite, our keen-minded grocer,
sold a collar button to a stranger yes
terday and insisted that the stranger
fetch it right back if it didn’t fit, as
one dissatisfied customer could do
more damage than a dozen satisfied
ones.
Apropos the recent “lean’’ years in
the Northwest when the farmers and
homesteaders had such a hard time to
“get by”:
Homesteader (to storekeeper)—
Gimme a slab of bacon!
Storekeeper—Big or little slab?
“Biggest slab you’ve got. ‘Ive eaten
so dum many cotton-tails and jack
rabbits that every time I hear a dog
bark I run under the porch.”
Mistress—Above all things you must
be frank.
New Cook—What’s that?
“Why to let people know just what
you really think.”
“Shure, mom, that is how I lose all
me jobs.”—New Bedford Evening
Standard.
“I heard a delicious bit of gossip
about Alice at the reception.”
“I thought she was there in the
room.”
“Oh, yes, but we asked her to sing.”
—Boston Transcript.
“How did it feel to drop four miles
and a half in a parachute?”
“Madam, if you must know,” re
plied the bored aviator, “I had a sink
ing feeling.”—Birmingham Age-Her
ald.
A sweet little damsel named Dayken
Was asked if she ever read Bacon.
Sair she, very sweet,
“You cannot read meat . . .
So snap to and cut out the fakin’.”
—Dartmouth Jack o’Lantem.
CENTRAL OFFICE
CANDLER BUILDING
Every Banking Facility, Including:
COMMERCIAL ACCOUNTS
SAYINGS ACCOUNTS
SAVING DEPOSIT BOXES
Citizens & Southern Bank
ATLANTA
Moore’s Market Co.
386 MARIETTA STREET
Phone, Ivy 8743
Groceries
Fresh Meats
Fruits, Etc.
Railroad Men’s Business Solicited and
Appreciated
Remember the Name
Moore’s Market Co.
Player in Bad Form—What’s the
matter, Scotty, do I stand too close to
my ball ?
Scotty—Well, not until after you
hit it.
She (just back from Europe)—Sor
ry I can’t go out with you tonight—
my trunks haven’t arrived.
He—Say, I got a car outside. Didja
think I was going to run you to town ?
—Southern California Wampus.
Visitor—So you have triplets at your
house. Has your father names for
them yet?
Willie Willis—Yes; tout I don’t
think any minister would baptize them
with what pa calls them.
Parent—Helen, do you ever stop to
reflect ?
Flapper—Every time there’s a mir-
ror to reflect in, Mater.
Peggy—Had a wonderful time at
the fraternity dance the other night.
Polly—So I heard. How was the
music ?
Peggy—Oh, did they have music?
—George Washington University
Ghost.
Love beyond my maddest dreaming
You have sworn you’ll show to me;
You will guide me to the gleaming,
Reeling heights of ecstacy.
Dizzier joy than else could reach me,
Fiercer bliss and wilder thrill,
All of this some day you’ll teach me,
Y-e-e-s you will! —D. P.
EGG VIEW NEWS NOTES.
By Leslie Van Every.
Lem Bushnell, our marshal, likes
his job first-rate, but he complains
that whenever he is seen running,
everybody has a bad habit of looking
behind him, instead of ahead of him.
* * *
Bill Waite’s grocery business has
increased so much that he is compelled
to make room enough in his cellar for
another still.
* * *
Corny Paine has been laughing ever
since Monday night when he sprung
a joke about not caring to bet any
money with an aviator because the
aviator might take him up.
* * *
During the busy season, Corny
Paine is helping out at the cider mill.
He helped seven out yesterday.
* * *
After listening to the sermon Sun
day night, Tink Nitz guessed it would
be all right for a feller to let one of
his hands know what the other one
was doing, if the other one was being
bit by a mosquito!
Father—Are you sure he loves you ?
That it isn’t your money?
Daughter—He swore he worshiped
me since he first saw me.
“Where was that?”
“At the beach last summer.”
“Were you in a bathing suit?”
“Why, yes.”
“He’s after your money.”—Carnegie
Puppet.