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Ho Leads Us On. He leads us on, By paths we do not know; * Upward He leads ua, though our step be slow, Though oft wo faint and falter by the way, Though storm and darkness oft obscure the day, Yet, .when the clouds are gone, We know He lead us on. He leads us on Through all the unquiet years; Past all our dreamland hopes and .dßStfljts and fears, He guides our steps. Through all the tangled maze Os sin, or son ow, and o’er clouded days , We know His will is done, And still he leads us on. And He at last, j After the weary strife, After the restless fever we call life— After the dreariness, and aching pain— « The wayward struggles, which have • provid rr^ain —. ] After our foils are past— Will give us rest at last. ' Why lam Trying to Preach. * - J' Elder A. V. Simms, • < Valdosta, Ga., 1 Dear Brother:—l have been re- J quested by many to write a short « sketch of my life in the ministry c for the Pilgrim’s Banner; and t while I now attempt to do so, yet s still, I feel I have not the bright I evidences that some of our min- 1 istering brethren are blessed t with. i BSome good brethren said to me a from the time I was received into v the church, and before I was bap- o I would have to preach. But it did not trouble me at that time, however on the morning of the seventh day after I was baptized it occured to my mind what the brethren had been saying to me about it, and with the thought a great dread or fear came over me and I trembled at the thought. I felt called upon to do something that I knew I could not do. I tried to think it was all a notion, and had the brethren never mentioned it I would never have thought of it. But no, I could not feel easy about it, and become so troubled about it I could not rest at home, at meeting, or anywhere. I would Offen shed tears in thinking of it, which I found then, as 1 have of ten found since to be the only thing that would alleviate the pain of an aching heart. So solemn and sacred was the responsibilities of a minister of the Gospel, that I prayed to die, rather than assume such a position. My father was a preacher and I felt like I knew at least some of the bitters connected with such a life. But the main thing was I thought I never could stand in the sacred pulpit. I was too sinful and ignorant, and why am [ I troubled about it? I know I can’t preach. But I was so troubled about it that I often dreamed of being called upon to take part in the services, and would try, but could not speak. When I Would think of my dreams, I would know, it seemed, it would be that way if I ever tried. For several months I suffered much mental torture thinking over these things, I finally made up my mind to sell my place to a certain neigh bor who I knew had the money, and leave the country. Jacob’s words were continually in my mind—“ How dreadful is the place; this is none other than the • house of God.” On Friday night before I intended selling my farm the next day, (and which was my »@lje Pilgrim’s Banner. “THOU HAST GIVEN A BANNER TO THEM THAT FEAR THEE, THAT IT MAY BE DISPLAYED BECAUSE OF THE TRUTH.”-Psalms 60: 4. meeting day, though I did not in tend going to meeting) I dreamec. of trying to run away, and in one day the mules I was driving be came too poor to travel. When? awoke next morning it was inter preted to me in this way: If you leave these good people that have proven their love to you, will surely come to want. I was afraid not to’go, I was miserable:. •Up to this time I had never told anyone of my impressions, but strafige to say old father Par rish soon began to call on me to engage in public exercise, as though he knew my every thought. But I would refuse, feeling that it wasimposible for me to speak in the great and dread name of God; yet he treated me as tenderly as a father would his own child; and when I looked upon his pale, but pleasant face just before his body was entered •in the Parrish graveyard 1 felt that my father in Israel, if I had one, was gone. I dreamed one night that the deacons of Oat Creek church: viz: Brethren Adams, Shaw and Knight, earned me into the pulpit ahd sat me down, and after some one had talked, I was called on to try. I started up but could not speak. The people all seemed to be effected, and shed tears as free ly as I have ever seen them, even under the sound of good preach ing. When I awoke I felt easy and my burden was gone, and 1 wished for an opportunity to talk of the goodness of God. My mind greatly illuminated, and! felt comforted and strengthened wjiile pondering over the precipus things of the kingdom. I saw such beauty in the work, and mercy of God that I wanted to speak of it. I now promised the Lord for the first time that I would try to do whatever He enjoined upon me. Soon after this Elder P. T. Everett preached at Cat Creek and when the time for service arrived he asked me to open the meeting for him. But in this time I became so troubled that I thought I would feel better to be ottt of the church; So 1 told the dear Elder that I wanted to talk to the church while in conference and ask them to drop my worthless name from the roll. He made aae believe they were in confefenee & that time, so I arose and for the first time tried to talk and requested them to drop my name—that I thought I would be better off, and so would they be. Elder Everett bursted into tears, and said: “If you turn him out, let me go too.” From this time on I would sometimes try and sometimes refuse. Sometimes I would feel relieved after making an effort, then, , again I would make such a bad failure it would almost make me sick, and would resolve in my mind never to try it again. I have had many trials of dif ferent kinds. It was about this time some very grave and dam aging charges was circulated a gainst me; all of which I accepted as evidences against me. And had I never read in God’s good Book, and had help from the Lord to believe that the innocent should not die, I should have given up and fainted by the way. In the winter of 1891 my or dination was called for by two churches —Antioch and Forrest Grove; also my home church con sented, and a presbytery was call ed in and I was ordained Decem ber sth. This was another severe trial for me. To allow those dear DEVOTED TO THE CAUSE OF CHRIST. VALDOSTA, GA., APRIL, 1, 1895. men of God to lay bands on me and set me apart to the full work of the ministry seemed more than I could bear. My poor old father was among them; he had known me all my life. Oh! what a trial! I know I did not desire these things, only as I was made, I hope to desire them by the indwelling power of the spirit of God. Now comes the part of my life that I desire most to write about, I was now about to enter upon a work that I had said often during my boyhood, I would never do— serve churches. I had seen my father leave home to attend his ap pointments, leaving mother with the tears rolling down her cheeks. I had seen all this, and much more—enough to keep me back from such a troubledjife. I think I might safely say here that I would never have gone back on my word had I not boen forced to do so by some unseen power. I ] lave had to leave wife and -wphil- 1 dren in tears behind, many, many < times with my own poor heart < feeling like it would burst with < sorrow. Among many other things that 1 troubled <ne was, I could not see 1 iow I could serve churches and make a support for my family! I 1 did not think of the churches help- < ing me in this at all at that time, j and if I had, I should have knowki that the two little churches I had iegan to serve was not able to help much. I now . labored bard > to support my family and be able I to serve my brethren free of cliffgUff for I did not want to be burden-1 some to them. But alas! My health soon failed, and my debts accumulated so fast that at the end of three years it taken all I possessed in the world to pay them. It did seem that I was called on to prove—with a mighty effort, whether I loved the Lord “more than these” or not, for I had to give up everything I had to keep the fair name of Primitive Baptist from trailing in the dust. This was a severe trial to my weak faith. Sometimes it seemed like I could trust the Lord, but occasionally, and very often too the thought would come “what will i do?” When I would think of the duties of the church to her pastor, I would think I was unworthy of any help, and therefore could not expect it. Brother Simins do you remember the time you called on the brethren at the Association to help me ? I never was so surprised in my life to find you had such tender feeling for me, and I was so ashamed of my poverty-stricken condition that I could not hold up my head. But after all it is the greenest spot in my memory to day. Not because they gave me over SIOO, at that meeting, but the PROOF THEY GAVE THAT THEY LOVED me. When the meeting had closed brother Tom Murphy—-a man that I did not think had ever given me any reason to believe he cared anything for me—came to me in tears and said he had given me all he had but he was not satisfied, and he had borrowed five dollars more and had come to bring it to me. I > speak of this in connection with my many trials, because I feel that the Lord gave me a lasting as- > surance that he would provide for t me, by opening the hearts of the ■ dear brethren, sisters and friends - to minister to my needs. The in- - trinsic value of the money sank i into insignificance, as compared to r the love which caused them to do ; it, <‘Hid the blessed assurance of (idfl’s protection of me a poor sin ner. Oh! how good God is. • My mind led me to give up my old home, the my child- Jwod, and come h«e. This was aifothcr sore trial’to me. To leave thosehlear saints who had been so generous and kind to me, and who had so patiently Borne with my weakness was a bitter trial in- They had given me a home when I was homeless; they had bgprf'niy friends when I felt to be friendless. They had stood with me in all my toils, and when I was in chains they were not ashamed of my chains; when I was sick they visited me, and would shed tears of sympathy around my bod. These told me that behind those tears was a sympathzing heart. But my mind led me away; and I shall never forget the sad even ing I left my little home. Just as the wagons was beginning to roll off, my little boy three years old, commenced running over the yard crying, and saying, “papa what will we do?” No tongue can tell nor pen portray the anguish of my poor heart at that moment Indeed what were we to do? But I found that I must taste Os the bitters if I would en joy the sweets. The children of Israel ate the Lamb that is called m th&Bible the “Passover” with sitter merbs. We cannot serve God withojit a sacrifice; and I have been jpade. glad many times, while ’tllJli’W'p 11iat (Hie of* n 1 life \ < i I awunable Bow to do any ual Xbor whatever, and every thingxlooks very gloomy at times. At other times I feel hopeful, and want to trust the Lord, and be lieve I shall have all I need in this world. I cannot hope for much, neither do I desire much. I have a pleasant home here—one that my fmaily is well pleased with; and better still, it is surround ed by many good lovely, faithful Baptists, who visit us often and see for themselves what is needed and furnish it. Ju this they prove in a substantial way that they love me, love God and are willing to obey Him. If I was asked the question which He asked the dis ciples on their return from their journey: “Have ye lacked any thing:” my answer would be simi lar to theirs. “No.” lam now trying to serve three churches and the most distant one is only ten miles. One of these churches had twenty seven added to her number from January to year. Another was constiiuted last September with twenty-one members, and now numbers thirty. The third I have only been serving a few months. One ; has been added to it. I cannot but take these as evidences that the Lord had something for me to do here. When ray meeting days come I am always glad, with lit tle exception. I am not like I used to b(J; Tam anxious to go, I cannot then I think I have become more submissive to God’s wii I used to be. I delight mpregiliis service, and I hope I ant, willing, daily coming unto that is disallowed in deed, but chosen of God and precious,” which is Christ, the Lord. - Now pother Simms in conclu sion,!, want to write in the way of encourifeement to Deacons R. L. Hqfeson ahd J. JD. Smith, and let them know that I fully endorse them in their recent writings in the Banner. I want to say to them and all other deacons to write and talk more about the things so necessary in the church of God, for I must think it will have a better effect, .than for preachers to write and preach about it. It is invariably the case when deacons are given their charge, they are charged with the re sponsibility of seeing after those things, and rightly too, I think. Then if so he is better capable,'of knowing what the preacher needs, than he himself. There was a time since the organization of the church that there was no deacons. “But when the number of disciples had increased, there arose a mur meringof Grecians against the He brews, because their widows were neglected in the daily ministra tion. Then the twelve called the multitude of the disciples and said: It is not reason that we should leave the word of God and serve tables, wherefore look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business; but we will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word. Acts vi chapter. I know that Paul taught it too plainly to be denied, that it is the duty of the churches to take care of her pastors, and I will xv. 26 ar d 27. Ist Cor. ix. 11. Gal, vi. 6, Also Christ taught tire Matitrolo. Luke x 17. I think it should be preached only when deacons become slothful. And if deacons should discharge their duty and the members fail, then something should be done; and inasmuch as the Bible has said that covetousness is idolatry, I think if a case of coveteousness— pure and simple, appears in our churches, such an one should be dealt with in the same way the church deals in other things. But I have known members who were said to be stingy and close, who when admonished to do f.o by the deacon would respond freely. Baptist sometimes have to bo told of their duty before they- see it, and who is more fitted for telling them than the deacon? But I have some fears that we have some members in uur churches, who would not do their duty in this respect, no .latter who might tell them, and the Apostle asks the question: “How dwelleth the love of God in him?” Such an one also proves ■ that he is without faith; for if some reliable man was to come to him and ask a loan of ten dol lars, and promise to pay forty next week, he would surely get it if he had to borrow it; and in doing so he would prove that he had more faith in the promise of man than the promise of God. The church can do well without a member who has neither the faith nor love of God in his heart. Now let me turn the picture and look on the other side. Can not preachers become covetous, and want more than they need? Israel’s shepherds did of old. Read Ez. 34th chapter. They were entitled to the milk of the flock, but they ate the fat and clothed themselves with the wool. Now my dear burden-bearing brethren in the Gospel, suffer my to plead with you to be careful, inasmuch as their is danger of covetousness on both e-ides, let us leave it with the deacons, only when duty requires us to do other wise. Elder Barwick’s faithful talk on this subject at the Union Association sank deep into my heart; and I think all that heard him received his words. Deacons let a poor sinner per suade you to lay hold of your du ties and perform them faithfully apd well. “For he that would use the office of a deacon well, pur chases to himself a good degree and great boldness in the faith,” If after you have done your work in behalf of your pastor or some needy one in the church and the brethren will not respond as they ought, do not become discouraged. Now a word to the churches in general. Do not treat the ap pealing words of your deacons with contempt. Remember you yourselves placed him where 114 is, and you should come to hj's re lief. Such lethargy and neglect of duty as this has caused the can dlestick to be /removed and dark ness, coldness ai d barrenness has. followed as a result. \ I/fenox, Ga. We hope our brethren and sis tsrs will read the foregoing letter, and read it slow.. It will profit you.—S. a Dade City, Fla. Elder Leo Hanks: Dear Sir. By your request I will try to explain my feelings. I hard ly know what to say. I feel so unworthy to write to such a good man as you are. Since I met you I have had many serious thoughts. I feel that I am the worst sinner that ever lived. All is darkness; jl cant see any way out of it. Oh that I could under stand and be with the children of God. It is my desire to be, but I have no hope now. ,„I hope you will give me some encouragement and I think you will. Sunday evening you took did on surprise and I wanted to get away to keep you from talking tdme. My parents were Methodists. My mother died’two years ago. I think she was a good woman and is at rest- Oh how 1 long to meet her therq, but without Jesus I can do nothing. I have explained some of my feelings, yet not like I desire. I want you to pray for me, I need the prayers of all good peo ple. Write soon to me and encour age me all you can. Your most unworthy friend. Mrs. Eunice G. Rogers. None feel such anguish of soul as the above but living subjects. When grace illuminates our poor sinful hearts, we view ourselves as mis erable sinners. The Lord is gracious ly leading this dear woman. Jesus never turns away a poor beggar empty. She is now a living child of God. A child never cries without life.— H. No. 7 fc