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Vol. 3. A WAIL BY THE WAY. Weary, footsore, hungry, cumbered, Fearful and fainting by the way; while gross darkness,ills unnumbered, Marks all the path wherein I stray. My tongue unbridled speaks my want Os fair discretion isolate : While for errings tears repentant Flow now no more to paliate. My heart seems tnrned to adamant. The fount of love as frozen o’er; "While conscience, all indifferent, Does not this state, so sad, deplore. Dear Lord, and can it be I live? And canst Thou own a wretch so vile? Then once again the assurance give That I may claim Thy pardoning smile. Oh for that faith to hear and see, Alone, what God to me hath said; And that His law a lamp would be As shining light upon my head. Ah yes, and as in days agone, To shine upon my weary way; Nor leave me once again foreiorn, But shine unto that perfect day. Then with that shield, let Patience have, Her perfect work in me complete; And Hope and Love’s deal labour pave My way with joys divinely sweet. Then with the preparation strong Os gospel let my feet be shod; Then all the rugged way along, I’ll walk in fellowship witw God. And when at last I come to meet My last great foe, Oh be Thou nigh? That I but fall down at his feet, To rise and reign with Thee on high. R. H. B. Dear Brother Gold :—About a year ago some one styling himself “A lover of good tidings,” request ed me, and several other preach ers to give our experiences and that some older ones mentioned, would 'lead the way, but none of them have writ ten; therefore I will venture to give a synopsis^of my exercises. In my early life I was taught that it was’right to read the script ures, behave myself at* 1 preaching, and show'a proper respect for wor ship, and often when alone, I would go through some sort of a form of prayer, but I now feel tha, whatever I did, was bringing God under obligations to me, in stead ot casting myself a helpless pensioner upon his mercy. When I was perhaps not more than ten years old, I remember thinking that if God would do certain things for me, I would get religion. I did not realize that my plan wouldhnake God the beg gar, instead of the bestower. I felf that if I should be so kind to God as to heed his beseeching me to give him my heart, he would then be under obligations to save me, and would be unjust if he did not do so. I had not yet seen the vileness of my nature. I felt that, on account of my morality, I would be more likely to be saved, than others with whom I was ac quainted. My father sent me to school a great deal, and though I wa» not as studious as I might have been, I acquired a sufficient education to teach a common school, and did so before I was tweenty years old. After teaching one year, I concluded to go to school again, and secure a classical education. While at school, a protracted meeting was held near the place, and I attended, though at first, I took no part in the meet ing. Finally, one night while the preachers were calling for mourn ers, one of my teachers, in whom I had confidence, came to me and asked me if I did not want religion. I told him I did, and I really thought I was sincere. I did not g) to the mourner’s bench, but simply kneeled at my Brat. As is customary on such occasions,there “THOU HAST GIVEN A BANNER TO THEM THAT FEAR THEE, THAT IT MAY BE DISPLAYED BECAUSE OF THE TRUTH.”—Psalms 60: 4. was great excitement, one singing, and another exhorting, and per haps another shouting. And the confusion was so great that I could not concentrate my thoughts, therefore, the next day, I dtt jr mined to go off to the woods where I could be more quiet and think sobei ly about the salvation of my soul. While there alone, upon my knees, most of the day, I shed many tears; as I then thought, tears of repentance; but I now think that they were merely tears of earthly grief My grand-father just died, and the preacher, as such men usually do, had a great deal to say about dead friends,and told many pathetic anecdotes, such as are calculated to stir up natural sympathy; therefore 1 was grieving more about my grand father’s death, than I was my sins. Doubtless thousands of persons are thus deceived, mistaking earth ly sorrow for godly. After spending the greater por tion of two days in the woods, Sa tan told me that if I would go to the meeting house the next night I would get religion. Accordingly I went, and the preacher described the borrows of hell in exciting collors, and Satan excited me to a very high pitch, and then with drew his terrors, and began soothe me, and tell me that I had religion, I yielded to his bewitchings, and thus became therefore I know by experience, the meaning of the “When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he waKeth through dry res f an d : and find t h none, he saith, I will return to my house whence I came out And when he conihth, he fiudeth it swept and Then goeth h% and taketh to him seven other spirits Bsrofo wicked than himself, and they entered in, and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first.” Luke 11:24, 26. The unclean spirit was not cast out, but merely went out, of its own accord, therefore it could re turn at pleasure, whereas if it had been cast out, it could never return. There is not an instance in the scriptures of its returning after it had been cast out. Many of the students of the school professed religion during said meeting, but none of them continued steadfast till the clos< of the session, except myself, and I was nothing but a full grown Pharisee; therefore the evil spirit returned to them in the shape of carnal wickedness, but to me, in the form of spiritual wickedness — Satan transformed into an angel of light. My having been thus deceived, accounts for my being so much opposed to excitements. “A burnt child is afraid of the fire.” I remained in this deluded con dition about two years, during which time, I thought I was doing great things for the Lord. Lest I should commit a sin, on one occa sion, though very hungry, I re fused to eat a bunch of wild grapes near the road, in the woods, and not in any enclosure, forgetting what David did when he was hun gry, and what the disciples did in the corn field on the Sabbatii day. On another occasion, I threatened to beat a fellow-student for forcing his way into my room on Sunday and thereby disturbing me while reading my Bibble; about to commit a greater sin in order to prevent a lesser’’evil. How foolish such conduct seems to those who have eye to see! but Pharisees are Hable to strain at a JHlgrimg Bunner. DEVOTED TO THE C YUSE OF CHRIST. Valdosta, Ga., April 1, 1896. gnat and swallow a canul. In the mean time I joined the Methodist and became remarkably zealous of their doctrine, and I verily thought that if Elder John Stadler and a few others, who preached like L<m, could be got ten rid of, we could soon “Evan gelize the world.” I thought that whenever we could get our relig ious operations in good plight, Eld. John Stadler would come along and preach a sermon which would be like pouring cold water upon fire, it would check the whole. Once at a protracted meeting, I held a young man and exhorted him till near midnight, thinking that if I could be the means of converting him, I would thereby add one more star to my crown. I, rayself, a' poor,blind Pharisee at that time, knew nothing of the true teaching of the Lord, and from the fruits that I see, I fear that many others are now occupy ing a similar self-righteous posi tion. in that condition are more to be pitied than abused. When I see others equally as good by Mature as I am, permitted to go on unchecked in their delusion, I am made to exclaim: “Why was I made tohear his voice, And enter while ther’s room; While others make a wretched choice, And rather starve than come.” In the fall oi 1859,1 taught in a private family, near Wylies bnrg, Charlotte county, Va.; and while there I believe tho Lord sent the arrow of true convicrion to my heart. I became disturb ed, but could not understand the cause. I did not think of its be ing conviction, for I thought I was already a Christian. Persons un der conviction never know what is the matter. “The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou heareth the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth; so is every one that is born of the spirit,”—John 3: 8. Being thorough Armenian, I re solved to pray my troubles otf;and indeed, I felt that it would be a small job, and soon completed, but, to my utter suprise, the more I prayed the worse I felt. As light increase in my heart the darkness disappeared, and my inbred sin became more and more visible. Light develops things which dark ness hides. Paul says, “For I was alive without the Law once: but when the commandment came, sin revived and I died.”—Rom. 7: 9 My foolish thonghts became troublesome, and satan intruded himself into all my efforts to wor ship God. My troubles w r ere so great that I was scarcely competent to attend to my school. I was forc ed from my schcol-room many times during each day to pray in secret; and then my conscience would lash me with the idea that I was not doing justice so my pat rons. Thus I was in a strait betwixt two, not knowing which to choose. Satan would tell me that if I did not kneel down aud pray in the presence of the whole school, I would be a hypocrite, and God would not answer me. He would quote, “For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, ween he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father’s,and of the holy angels.” Luke 6: 29. Irealy thought it was the spirit ol God wooing me l ° humble myself; for I didn’t know tlia| Jesus elsewhere said “Bu rh(li,wlien thou prayest, enter in to thy closet, and when thou ha shut thy door, pray to thy Fathe whijh is in secret; and thy Fathe which seeth in secret shall re wart thee openly.” Matt 6:6. It 1 very! difficult for convicted sinner to decern between the operation of tl® Spirit of God and the temp tatiojis of Satan. He had the au dacitv to try to persuade Jesus thatjif Le did not convert the st on >3 into bread, and jump dowr fromithe pinnacle of the temple he wirald not prove that he was; the Spn of God. Foi some weeks before I came to the “end of the law,’’Satan would tempt me to swear every time 3 would kneel down to pray, wherqas an never escap ed my lips during my whole life. While thus tempted, I would fre quently hold my hand upon my mouth, and clinch my teeth to keep pie oaths from being utter ed. T/y this temptation I learned that tltere were oaths in my heart, and th|at I was too weak to con troll i|y thoughts:‘For out of the abundance ot the heart the mouth speaketh.”—Matt. 12“34. Up to this tiihe I had considered my heart ’ight good, but I now ielt that if. was vile, and was the sonree from which sprang all the sins of which 1 had ever been guilty.! During the last three days, fll'vious to my delivery, I was r s i free fiom said temp- one minute at a time vfflnle I was awake, and my trouble'became so great that I could ent and sleep but little. I was really afraid to sleep, lest I should awake in hell. About twilight!one evening 1 was leaning against the post oi a porch, look ing at the frogs jumping over the yard, and a dog lying near by, and I thought their condition was pre ferably to mine. They had no souls, and I had one that I ieared would suffer forever and ever I feared that I had, for my last time, seen the sun set. 1 did not think that I could live many hours and 1 felf unfit to die. The moon, stars and skie seemed to look gloomy, and I returned to my room with the view of praying as long as I had breath. I thought kneeling down was not low enough for such a sinner as 1 was, therefore I fell down on my face upon the floor and remain ed there most all night. The next evening while walking the floor, wringing my hands in agony, thinking that I h*ad committed the unpardonable sin, and therfore there was no mercy for me; I was enabled, at this extremity, to sur render all into the hands of God. At this juncture there was a small lapse of time in which my thoughts were so completely taken from earthly things, that I can not tell what I was doing, or how my burden passed off. The first thing I knew my burden was gone, and I was saying aloud, “I will trust the Lord! 1 will trust the Lord!” A calm feeling of love for God and his people pervaded my sou], and I was brought to love the same Elder Stadler whom I had hitherto, so much persecuted, and greatly desired to converse with him, but he died before 1 had an opportu nity to do so. Whether I am a Christian or not, I can safely say there has been a striking change in my re ligious feelings and views. Soon after the departure of my burden I stood near the same place where I stood the previous evening, and looked at the stars, moon and sky, but they bore an aspect very differ ent from that of the proceeding evening. All things seemed to be rejoicing, and I think I felt as Da vid did wnen he said, “The heav ens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his hand work.”—l9th Ps. 1. When I was made willing to trust the Lora, I did not know that there were so many instances of that sort in which God’s people were reduced that to extremity. D avid says, “In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust..’—P. 71: 1. “Trust in the Lord and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land and verily thou shalt be fed.”—Ps. 87: 3. I will also leave in the midst of the an afflicted and poor people and they shall trust in the name of the Lord.—Zeph. 3 12, Since my deliverance these and many other similar expressions have been of great comfort to me. In deed I Jiave nothing in which I can trust but the Lord. I soon became troubled in ref erence to sprinkling, and, being eager in search of truth, I read the whole of the scriptures in less than five months, and when I got through, I had not seen a single syllable to authorize the practice. I then began to ask myself the question:“Uan it be pos sible that all of the-smart men who hold to the practice of sprink ling are mistaken? ’! resolved there fore to get some book treating upon that subject, in order to find their arguments “in a nut shell.” Accordingly I took a book, called “Miller on infant Baptism.” I had not read beyond the twelth ; page before I found that the au- ' thor willfully or ignorantly pre verted the Seriptures. He claim- ] ed that sprinkling w r as a substi- j tute tor circumscission, and that ( circumscission had never been re voked. It then occured to my mind that if circumscission had never been revoked we had no right to substitute something else for it, but should practice it in its original form. However the same day that I read his view, I read also Paul’s expression in which he positively revoked circumscission. “Behold, I Paul say unto you, that if ye be circumscised Christ shall profit you nothing.”—Gal. 5 2: “For in Jesus Christ neither nor circumcision availeth anything uncircumscision,but faith which worketh by love.”—Gal. 5:9. “for asmuch as we have heard that cer tain which went out from us, have troubled you with words, subver ting your souls, saying, “Ye must be circumscised and keep the law; to whom we have no such com mandment.”—Acts. 15 24. There are many other texts of Scriptures showing the fallacy of Mr. Miller’s arguments but let the foregoing suffice. Since that time I have been very cautious in receiving men’s opin ions. Men are liable to err. “Eor the leaders of this people cause them to err, and they that are led of them are destroyed.”—lsa. 9;16. Doubtless extravagant leaders of ten reccomend unscriptural meas ures, simply because it is to their pecuniary interest to do so. Final ly I resolved to leave the Meth odists, not because I had any per sonal enmity against any of them, i but simply because their doctrine i did not accord with my expe -1 rience, and with what I now con , ceive to be the teaching of the - Scriptures. Their leaders taught ; that men could get religion as op ; tion,w T hereas I tried for more than .! four months with my utmost en . ergy and made a most signal [ failure. Indeed, if lam a Chris tian to day, religion got me. I did not get it. • The Lord sought me and found me. I was too weak and dead to find him. “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.”—Solmon’s Song 2;4. “He found him in a desert land, and in the waste how ling wilderness: he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.”—Deut. 32: 10. “For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.”—Luke 19: 10. “The Lord hath done great things for us, whereof we are glad.”—Ps. 126:23. Before I left the Methodist, I tor k the precaution to get a cer tificate of my good deportment,lest some one might say that I was excluded, but when I offered my self to the Baptist church. I did not snow the certificate- I knew the Baptist would require “area son of the hope that was within me/; No doubt there are Christians among other denominations, and such Christians should be treated K;iore as erring brethren, than as avowed enemies. “And the ser vant of the Lord must not strive; but to be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patience; in meek ness instructing those that oppose! themselves; it God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledgeing of the truth.”—2 Tim. 2:24, 25. When I joined the Baptists, my religious opposes fabricated many reasons for the change in my course. One conjecture was, that wife caused me to change; but that supposition was as foreingn from the truth, as light is from darkness. Neither she, nor any other member of her family was a Baptist when I joined. God knows that I did not “confer with flesh and blood” in forming, or ex ecuting my religious views. I was baptized by Elder James Wilder at Arbor, second Sunday morning n May, 2860. During that even ing I felt no particular change in my feeljugs,but at night after I had gone to bed, I began to think how many enemies I had made Jn my course during the day. I then thought il I was deceived, my sacrifice would all be to no pur pose, and I began to hunt up my evidences, but for the time being, they all seemed to be gone, I be came alarmed, and concluded that I had been baptized in my sins. In the height oi my excitement satan said to me,“This night shall thy soul be required of thee,” and just at that moment a bat came through the open door into the room, and began to flutter in the dark. I verely thought that had come to take me off, but 1 soon fuund that it was nothing but a bat, and then 1 became composed, and after a short season of rejoic ing 1 quietly fell asleep. As soon as 1 saw the sun next morning, 1 was fully assured that it was satan that had said to me, “This night’ shall thy soul be required of thee;” because if God had said so, it (Continued on second page.) No. 7