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Vol. 3. WETRt IN lifes sweet and early morning When my youth had scarce 1 begun, 1 was made to see the dawning Os the truth—l was undone. - I«then began to mourn my sinning, An<i in anguish try to pray; But this brought to me no winning, Save to add to my dismay. It seemed that I must work or perish ; Phis I thought I plainly saw. So with thought to keep and cherish, Blind, I hastened to the law. Butin it I found no favor; Naught to heal a broken heart, Death to death alone its savor; Naught of life it could impart. Thus it was for days unnumbered, While my grief and burden grew; And my soul was still encumbered, — 1 no peace or pardon knew. Helpless, hopeless, empty-handed, I fell,mercy to implore; And none but those alike expended, Knows the agony I bore. I thought death was coming surely; And for me there was no crown, — That my doom was fixed securely, Whence I then was sinking down. But once more for mercy pleading, And that pardoning love might shine rWhen a light, the sun exceeding, Shown around me hope was mine. At that light, in splendor shining, All my darkness fled away; And by faith I kew t’was lining, Skies for me of heavenly day. In my far-off city gleaming, Brighter shines this light divine; Wherewith clothed, and one day beam ing, I shall praise the And till then let me be sowing Praise and honor to his love; Who on me his grace bestowing, I<fts me to himself above. J. G. Davis. Garrison Tex. A CALL TO THE L MINISTRY, Dear Elder Gold :—Some time ago I gave a sketch of my experience and deferred giving a statement of my call to the minis try, with a request, made more than two years ago by some bro-. or friend, signing himself, “A lover of good tidings.” Very soon after obtaining a hope in Christ, I began to have impressions in referance to preach ing, but I used my uttmost en deavors to conceal and banish such feelings. On the second Saturday in Feb. 1860, Elder Stadler preached from £nd Tim. 4 ;2. “Preach the Word, jfcc.,” and in his discourse he said that from his feelings he believed he was then talking to someone who would have to preach. The remark made a deep impression on my mind, and though I had not joined the church, some ot the members surmised that I was the one to whome Elder Stadler allu ded. I could not see why they should suspect me as being im pressed to preach among the Primitive Baptist, inasmuch as I had never hai any connection with them by ancestry or other wise, and I did not want them tc speak of the subject. Perhaps some inadvertent remark or act ion of mine betrayed my feelings. Persons who are impressed in referance to Christian duties may succeed in hiding their emotions from the world, but the people of God who have eyes to see can sometimes detect them before they are aware of it. M}’ daily thoughts u and conversation were Mtlje 4 ©miner. “THOU HAST GIVEN A BANNER TO THEM THAT FEAR THEE, THAT IT MA# EE DISPLAYED BECAUSE OF THE TRUTH.”—Psalmb 60: 4. of a spiritual character and my views on some subjets seemed to be more sublime than they are now. After joining the church I would, when called upon, try to pray in public, but I did not .want any one to suspect me as being a preacher. Soon after I was married, I went with my wife to see one oi her aunts, and on starting home, I asked our aunt if she expected to go to hear some traveling minis ters who were to preach next day, whereupon my wife, having ref erence to mv incessant religious conversation, remarked in rather a jocular way, that she heard more preaching every day than she wanted to hear. From the time I obtained a hope up to that evening I had been in a state of indecision — Sometimes thinking that I would preach and again that I would not. I had been wanting an excuse not to nreach, and my wife’s re mark led me to believe that she would oppose my doing so, there fore having that pretext and thinking that I could remain silent, I there positively resolved not to preach. Before a great while, my wife saw that I was in trouble about something, and supposing that I had impressions to preach, she began to persuade me to obey, but my aversion to the work was so great that I could not take up the cross. My refusing to obey under such circumstances is now a conclu sive evidence to my mind that my own rebellious nature had more to do with my not did. If she had any opposition to the matter, she has since more cheerfully surrendered her feel ings than is common for preach er’s wives to do, because she has undergone many privations, has oeen a help-meet indeed, and has done more to make my way in the ministry easy, than any other person on earth. As soon as I fully made up my mind not to preach, the Lord seamed to with draw his presence and joys from me. Religious conversations, which had hitherto been so pleas ant to me, now become irksome and I grew so cold that I would sleep under the preaching of our ablest ministers. My coldness and darkness were a terror to me and still I could not get nd of them. In the meantime, the war came on and I, having refused to preach, was subject to Military duty, whereas, if I had obeyed God in the outset, I should have been exempt like other preachers Rebellious Christians by their ob stinacy always makes matters worse, and I have compared them to an unruly horse which refuses to obey the bidding of his driver, and thereby throws a wheel into a bad place and then has to put forth additional strength to draw it out. Sad experience has taught me to advise other Christians to obey and not draw back. “Behold to obey is better than sacrifice and to harken than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” (Ist Samuel 15:23.) “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. (Eccl. 12: 13) After getting to the camp of introduction near Richmond, and seeing the great wickedness of the soldiers, I reckon I felt like i Lot in Sodom. I was miserable DEVOTED TO THE CA Valdosta, Ga., April 1896. and felt that Gcd would cause me to be killed for my disobedience. I often thought of the young Prophet who was killed by the lion for eating and drinking in a land where the Lord had told him not to eat and drink. While thus in a state of disobe dience, I was often disappointed in my efforts to pray,and God so often seemed to give me the oppo site of what I prayed for, that I became afraid to ask him to let me return to my family lest he would kill me. In that state of suspense and agony, I went for about five months that I did not kneel down to pray, and still al most every breath* seemed to ba a groaning that could not be ut tered. I underwent almost as much trouble in my call to the ministry as I did under convic tion for sin, but my call to the ministry, and my other exercises were not of the same character. Finally my trouble became so great that I felt like God would kill me any way, and if I prayed he could but kill me, therefore I resumed my habit of retiring fre quently to some lonely place to commit my works to God. I felt lijre Esther —“And if I parrish I perish.’’Esther 4:16. As soon as I began to try to pray again, the impression was forcibly made up on my mind that if I wanted God to bless me, I must obey him. “If ye be willing and obedient ye shall eat the good of the. land. But if ye rebell ye shall be devoured with the sword, for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.” (Isaiah 1: 19, 20. Aftesmome hesitancy, I prom ised low me to return home safe, I would preach, and from the time of the making of this promise the Lord took away that fear of being killed. I felt that if the Lord had a work for me to perform af ter the war, nothing could trans pire to prevent the accomplish ment of that object. I sometimes feared being wounded, because I often thought that if I ever ex pected to preach, I ought to com mence Immediately. I knew I then had as much opportunity for reading, as I ever would have, and a congregation could be got ten at a few moments notice, yet I could not muster up enough courage to commense. So many men were turning preachers to keep out of the army, and I disdained the idea of being called a “war paeacher,” therefore my pride or something else, kept me silent. On one occasion at “roll call,” just before the surren der, I askod the company if they were willing for me to pray for us, and they gave their unanimous consent. Then we all kneeled down, while I tried to ask for their protection, and I believe my prayer was answered. After get ting home I had joy mingled with sorrow—joy that I was again with my family :but sorrow to know I promised God to preach. Thus I withered under the torture, con tinually looking forward for some heavy judgement to befall me for my ingratitude and treachery in refusing to commence the fulfill ment of my promise. I often thought of Ananias and Sapphira; and felt that a failure to preach, would be lying to God and not to man. From some cause the brethren began to suppose that I was im pressed to preach, and they would frequently ask me to take part in public worship, but I would refuse OF CHRIST. iw* £ home grieved on ac count oiipot accepting the oppor tunity. I resolved that when thejjH’eacher should fail to come, I vwild read a chapter and pray, buLwould take no text. I thought at one time if I would Dray wits my family, write for publication, and attend to the other chiistian duties, that God would excise me for not preach ing. ;. Naama i the Syrian asked if the rivers of Ms own land would not answer tH purpose as well as the waters of* Jordan. Nothing of worship p acceptable to God, but to do his»*>ork strictly according to his dictions. If I m:‘y express it, a call to the ministry's a disease for which there is b'lt one remedy—exercise in the pulpit. David said, “When I kept signee my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.”—Erialms32:3. I lived a considerable distance from the church ot which I was a member, and therefore did not get to every church meeting, and once, when I was absent, they sent me licence to preach cdfitrary to my expecta tion. D’jring the year of 1866, I went to the Association at Pleas ant GvovF,Caswell county, N. C., and whili there the weight of the ministry|was so heavy upon me that I.le&t before the close" of the association in order to be alone. All the way home a text was on my mind and I kept preaching to myself. Once that fall, I was at at Flat I fiver and Elder D. R. Moore me to go into the pulfiiHUiOugb J <rreatlv pre while commenting upon thtj Scriptures. My pride was not' yet subdued. 1 was thinking too much about the un popularity of the Baptist doctrine, because one of our preachers had an opportunity in my neighbor hood where our doctrine was not well known, and I, fearing the persecution that might follow, was glad that the lain prevented him from getting to his appointruant. Soon after this, the Lord began to chasten me indeed, and my life was no pleasure to me. I was constantly in dread of some tem poral judgement. Finally I was forcibly impressed that my wife would die if I did not obey God. I could no longer resist, therefore I surrendered myself and all things that are near and dear into the nands of God. In the Spring of 1867, at Lick Fork, Rockingham county, N. C. I took my first text, and from then till now I have been trying to proclaim the« unsearchable riches of Christ. » In the commencement of my j ministerial duties I resolved nev er to receive a cent, and even went sa far as to notify some of the churches to that effect. I am now satisfied that my res olutison savored of a self-sustain ing pride than of an humble de pendency upon God to do his work in his own way. His plan is, that they who preach the gos pel should live of the gospel. “Do ye not know that they which minister about holy things, live of the things of the temple? and they which wait at the alter are parta kers with the altter? Even so hath the Lord ordained that they waich preach the gospel should live of the gospel.”—lst Cor. ix,l3, 14. Soon after I began to preach I . made a trip to Georgia and heard . Elder Rrespess, Rowe and’Bussey t talk m reference to the support of j the ministry, and their views were I so different from those hitherto held by me, that I determined to make a thorough investigate n of the subject, and in so doing I found that they were right, and that tradition had, had something to do with shaping my former views. Since that time I have been » , very cautious in expressing my opinion on any subject without . first examining it carefully. An attempt to teach a classical school and preach at the same time, was the greatest blunder of my Christian life. Puting up build ings necessary tor the furtherance of the school involved me in debt, and I labored faithfully for about seven years, to extricate myself, but interest on money and other contingent expences consumed the profits. Therefore I worked while others reaped the benefits. Finally, seeing that my condi tion was getting no better by con tinuing the school, I resolved to close out my business, and as I would not take a homestead nor go into bankrupcy, I sold my prop erty at a very heavy sacrifice and thereby became very poor, and did not cancel quite all my debts. During the last year of my teaching I curtailed my expences to the utmost extent. My wife, my little children, and I attended to our domestic affairs and did not keep a horse to drive to my appointments, and still I could net collect money enough to meet the of my little Our neighbors were kind to us, otherwise we would not have had food and raiment. Some may be ready to conclude that these pri vations came by chance, but ere this time, I am fully satisfied that they were God’s means of driving me from the school-room to a different field of labor, When Jonah fled from Ninevah a storm met him. I had once delighted in teaching, as much as man could delight.in any kind of labor, but before I quit teaching, the school-room became like a prison to me. I was constantly looking for ward with fearful apprehensions of punishment for net preaching more. I served four churches,and still I felt woe unto me if I preach not the gospel.” (1 Cor. ix 16.) More than once have I gone to the spring to get a burketof water and before getting back to the house, I would hear some of the children mate a noise and suppo sing them to be hurt, I would drop my bucket and run back to the ! house. Preachers like to stay with their families, as well as other people, but they know what the Script ures require of them. Some per sons who never do anything for preachers’ families feign great sympathy for them. At length I concluded that if I should give my self wholly to the work of the ministry, my priva tions would not be any greater than they were already, therefore 1 resolved to obey God, let the consequences be what they might. Since I have given myself to the work God has,in some way unfore seen by me, taken care of me, I have never asked anyone tor a cent, nor even told a deacon to take up a collection for me. Whenever deacons or other 1 members ask me about my finan / cial affairs I tell them plainly my f condition. It is true Ido not ? shun to preach whatever may > come in my text, or to tell deacons ) their duty, and they usually try f to do it, No preacher has any [ | right to grumble about the negli | gence of the church, so long as he r has not faithfulness enough to • declare all the council of God to them. I have too much confi dence in the bulk of my brethren to believe that they will refuse to obey the plain teachings of the Scriptures. In the mean-while my brethren and friends have been kind to me, for which I feel greatful to them and thankful to God. May God bless them in the deed. Solomon said, “Honor the Lord ' with thy substance and with the first fruits of thine increase; so shall thy barns be filled with plen ty and thy presses shall burst out with new win«.” Prov. iii 9, 10. “For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labor of love which ye have showed toward his name in that ye have ministered to the saints and do minister. ” Heb vi 10. It is true that a spirit to neglect the ministry sometimes shows itself, but whenever such is, the church usually declines. Those who are most liberal grumble least about wbat they have to do. Those who are too covetous to do their own duty, frequently murmur about wha. is done; seemingly to deter others from duty, lest a con trast should be drawn between them and their more • benevolent brethren. Sometimes preachers neglect the churches: spend their time ajUigme in trying to accumu-j cause the churches neglect them. They act as though they thought the churches ought to support them and still allow them to stay at home and attend to their secu lar affairs. The first duty rests upon the preachers to go and preach—the second duty rests upon churches to attend to the temporal needs ot their preachers. No doubt most of the neglect in this particular is brought about by the preachers themselves. They have either failed to serve the churches promptly, or they have failed to tell them their duty. I am sorry that I am not more wor thy of receiving what my breth ren and friends do for me. Yours in hope of eternal life. James S. Dameron. —Zion’s Advocate. Dear Editors of the Banner ; I have received one of your papers “The Pilgrim’s Banner”— and after carefully reading, must say lam well pleased with it. My husband was ‘also delighted with it. And we would be so glad to subscribe for it, but at present cannot afford to do so, but hope to after a while. We have passed through the great drouth with much of this north western section and have to deny ourselves in money matters. But oh for such a paper to read! what a comfort! what a satisfact ion and pleasure! To read from the pen of those we never saw or heard of, and they to write of the trutn as in Christ, and we in heart to witness, is comforting indeed! Yes, and it is strengthening and confirming. We never hear any (Continued, on fourth page) No. 8