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KA-CHOO!
(Continued from last issue)
4 'Oh, but I thought you were quite
charming racing down the stairs like
that, and I enn’t get over your husky
voice"
So they talked, until the moon hung
high in the heavens. At last, when
Harvey was leaving, he said, ‘ 4 l
shan't be by to see you for several
days, Marye. My business calls me
to Boston."
But more than business had called
him to Boston. For he had resolved
to change the setting of the ring for
one more becoming to the ravishing
Marye he had discovered that night-
So while the good-nights were be
ing said, he was thinking about the
ring and she was thinking about her
cold. Naturally both were rather ab
sent-minded.
The next day Marve sallied forth to
secure some medicine for her cold. The
day was fair and beautiful. Spring
was in the air, and spring was in her
heart. She walked along joyously, re
joicing in living, joyous in the budding
trees, glad because of the spicy weath
er, on tiptoe with the fire of health.
She was the animated girl of the night
before—a girl to attract attention any
where.
Having finished her shopping—a
small bottle of extremely nice-smelling,
and nice-tasting stuff—Mary o dropped
into a popular tea room for lunch. A
group of gay, shrieking girls soon join
ed he r and bits of gossip flung back
and forth
“'Say, Marye, you didn’t know you
had a rival, did you?"
“Oh, I supposed I had a half-a-doz
en, Harvey’s so popular. Who’s in the
game now?"
44 0 h, your namesake! A girl by the
name of Marye has moved to Boston
and they tell me she’s some limelighter.
But the important thing is that Har
vey’s fell fo r her. I’ve heard from
a good hi urce that he’s been to see her
several times-"
“Tho cat!" thought Marye. “She’s
making about half of it up."
But aloud she said, “Let em go-
She can have ’im."
Nor was she much troubled about
the conversation as she made her way
homeward in the golden light of an
early spring afternoon- In fact, she
was still happy and she had no fore
bodings of any evil to come, even
though Harvey had gone off to Boston
rather suddenly.
Passing by one of the city apart
ment houses she decided, “I’ll run in
and soe Maggie awhile. 1 haven’t
seen her for a long time ami she always
has something interesting to say."
She entered tho long, main hall of
the house, and glanced about- Mag
gie’s apartment was at the end of the
hall, she remembered. Here on the
right lived that immensely funny lit
tle minister, who, Harvey had always
declared, should marry him—if he ever
got married. Marye smiled, wondering
why he hadn’t asked her last niglit.
Perhaps he thought a cold and sneezes
were too unromantic. Well, she’d be
well when h e earn© back and then, and
then—she gave a blissful sigh.
Without knocking she went in the
small ante-room of her friend’s living
quarters and stopped at tho sound of
voices. Undeniably, it was the voice
of the little minister as Harvey had
described to her, high, thin, and pip
ing.
4 4 Do you take this woman to be your
lawful wedded wife!"
“I do," Harvey’s voice answered!
What in the world was happening?
Marye clutched the doorpost for sup
port-
“Do you take this man to be your
lawful wedded husband?"
“I do," a slightly husky voice re
plied.
“I then pronounce you man and wife."
“Oh, Marye!" Harvey’s voice
trembling with emotion wus rather thin
and high. But then, he had always
told her that his feelings affected him
like that.
“And then to her listening ears
came the echo of a resounding smack-
She could stand no more. Stumbling
blindly from the building she ran home.
Avoiding her mother she flew to her
room, locked the door, und flung her
self on the bod
“Oh, 1 can see it all now!" she
wept. “The brute, to deceive me so;
coming to see me just because ni}
name is Marye, and my voice is husky
sometimes. Ugh! I’ll take medicine
’till 1 die ’fore I’ll ever lot my voice
get husky again, like that girl' that
he’s gone and m-m-married. 80-o-oo
ho-00-o. ’
Nh( lay there a long time, thinking
over all her associations with Harvey.
How often business had taken him off
to Boston! She could see him laughing
at how easily she had been fooled-
How complimented slio had been when
he praised her blonde and grey eyes.
Yes, naturally, for like as not that
other Mayre had much prettier hair
and eyes than she.
“Oti, how could I have let him de
lude me so?" she wailed, time and time
again, boating the pillow with her
fists.
Marvo did not go down to supper
that night. When her mother came
to the door she sent her away with
the excuse of a headache.
“Yes, it is a headache and a heart
ache, too, if I am not mistaken," she
thought.
The next morning Marye arose, pre
pared to be a martyr to the cause.
iHhe bathed her swollen eyes; she rub
bed her throbbing head; she brushed
her beautiful hair. Thon, arraying
herself in her most becoming morning
gown, she went down to breakfast.
Indeed, and she would show Harvey
Martin that she wouldn’t pine for
him!
She attacked her cereal viciously,
but alas! ’twould not go dwon, so she
paused, spoon in air, to liston to what
her mother was saying.
“Maiye, Harvey called this morn
ing and said he would be back tonight
and for you to be sure to wait for him.
I said you would be here. Was that
all right?"
Marye was silent for a moment.
What would be best? Then suddenly
she decided.
“Yos, mother, that was all right."
Yes it was all right, thought she-
She’s treat him exactly as if nothing
had happened,—except that she would
give him down the country when he
confessed —Or she’d do something to
him anyway. Of course he would con
fess, darn him.
That night a girl stood at the top
of the staircase, as if loath to leave
her perfect setting. This girl was also
a personification of animation except,
as she danced down the stairs, her nose
did not burst into animation, for the
contents of the little bottle bad the
desired effect. So she danced down
the stairs smiling—smiling, but her
heart was a heart of lead.
Her lover waiting at the bottom of
tho stairs, caught her in his arms and
kissed her.
“Oh, how dare you?" rtried the
horrified Marye. The idea, and him a
married man.
But before he bad time to answer,
they heard a muffled voice say:
“Oh, boy, T got it then."
“Robert!" cried Marye-
Harvey laughed heartily and dragged
Marve down on the stops beside him.
"Did you know that the little
preacher lias moved into Maggie s
apartment?" he asked.
“Well, I ought to!"
“Why, did vou r mother tell you
about Robert?"
“No, what about Robert?"
“Why he has been taking elocution
from the little preacher. Robert has
a wedding scene to learn, and be in
sisted on substituting our names in it
so lie could say it with more expression.
That’s why he wanted to see us kiss.
I saw the iittlo preacher in Boston yes
terday and —"
“Yesterday?"
4 ‘Yes, why?"
“Oh, I thought I saw him here yes
terday."
44 Well, anyway, he said Robert had
the key to his apartment, so he could
practice there. He practiced yesterday
afternoon while Rev. Smiles was in
Boston."
Marye turned white, stood up, sway
ing.
“Ob! oh!" she cried. 44 1 believe
THE WEST GEORGIAN
SERIOUS SAL
(This is anew department in our
paper. If you like it, let us know; if
you have any puzzling questions con
n,ruing your affairs of tho heart, Se
rious Hal will be glad to help you the
best she can.)
Dear Sal:
I am a blonde who goes to West
Georgia who gees with another blond
at West Georgia. I am very much in
lov e with him, but be doesn’t respond
us I desire him to- Please advise me
what to do because I truly love him.
BLUE EVES.
Dear Blue Eyes:
Don’t get blue. You are probably
just infatuated with this wonderful
blond and this notion will pass in a
few weeks. Don’t lose any beauty
sleep over him and don’t let him sus
pect how you feel about him.
SERIOUS SAL.
Dear Serious Sal:
My girl has lost interest in me.
Please, dear Serious Sal, tell me what
to do. How can I get her ba<'k? I
must have her love or I shall surely
go mad-
POSSESSED.
My Doar Possessed:
Suppose you try a little indifference
for a change. It should work wonders.
Don’t let the young lady be too sure
of you and you ’ll soon find her at
your hoels. A little competition might
help also. Let her know that she is
not. the only pebble on the beach.
SERIOUS SAL.
Dear Serious Sal:
I am a co-ed at West Georgie Col
lege. I am sixteen years old. Now
don’t tell me that I am too young to
know the meaning of love, for I am
sure that I can nover love any other.
Sal, I am in love with my professor
and I fear that my affection is not
returned. This is not just an infat
uation as you may think. It is the
real thing. Even when h e smiles at
me, I forget what I was thinking
about. How can I win his love? Don’t
tell me to forget him, for that is an
impossibility.
Anxiously waiting,
A Broken-hearted Freshman.
M’y Dear Little Broken-hearted Fresh
man:
You must remember that a professor
could not be expected to return your
affections. He probably has a sweet
heart like you in every class and prob
ably has his life-mate already picked
out. Just put your mind on your work
and he will come nearer to noticing
you and your intelligence than he will
if you merely sit and moon away your
time at him.
SERIOUS SAL.
Dear Serious Sal:
I am a girl seventeen years old,
very boautiful (my friends say), but
[ am not the least bit conceited. I
am in love, but I am afraid HE does
not car e for me. I have had a few
dates with him and he tells me he loves
me, but in every other way, he doesn’t
show it. Please tell me how I can
make him show his love for me. All
the girls think that he is just playing
with me.
WORRIED.
Dear Worried:
Well, Worried, you seem to be use
lessly worried about nothing. If 1
were you, I wouldn’t worry. If he
says he loves you, perhaps he does,
because there are a good many people
who can love but cannot express it
except in woids. Don’t worry about
it; don’t give him all of your time or
you will be more worried.
SERIOUS SAL.
Dear Serious Sal:
I have heard’ a great deal of talk
concerning your ability to untangle
puzzles. I hope you can untangle this
one for me- I have been dating a
town girl about all the year. She is
very nice to me, invites me to her
I’m going to faint!"
Harvey jumped toward her, and was
about to catch her falling figure in
his arms when—
“Ka-choo!" went the nose.
HUMOR
Life—just one darn thing after an
other-
Love —just two darn things after
each other.
Druggist—“ Yes, I applied for a boy.
You look to bo about what I need- Do
you smoke?"
Tiny Mite —“No thanks, but I’ll
take an ice-cream soda if you don’t
mind."
Kelly-- 44 W’omeu are fools to marry.’’
Brown—“ Yes, but what else is there
for men to marry?"
Houseworth—“Gotta match?"
Platt—"Sure."
H. H. —‘Gimme a cigarette."
Platt—"Want me to light it for
you?"
H. H. —"If you don’t mind."
Platt —"How you fixed for spit
tin’?"
FLEAS
I think that I shall never see
A poem clever as a flea—
A flea who burrows day and night
Avoiding Bowser’s scratch and bite;
A flea that clinches with its feet
And chews off hunks of tender meat;
A flea that may in season hatch
A batch of eggs on Bowser’s patch;
Upon whose head with every breath
There hangs the chance of instant
death;
Poems are made by fools like me—
Takes more than a fool to catch a
flea.
Dickey—" Tom, she certainly gave
you a dirty look."
Harding—" Who?"
Dickey—" Mother Nature."
Chick—" Well, I got a big load off
my shoulders.’’
Driver—“ What did you do—-wash
your neck?"
Modern Geometry
Proposition—You love mo because I
love you.
Hypothesis—l love you.
Proof—
I. I love you (given.)
2. All the world loves a lover
(axiom).
3. You are of the world and all the
world to me (conceded).
4. Therefore: You love me. Q.E.D.
Hay— ‘ 4 Now, suga r— ’ ’
Florence (excitedly) “Yes?"
Ock — 4 4 Certainly goes well with
coffee-"
home, and takes me for rides. I have
fallen, however, for a nice girl and
have decided to date her. I am afraid
the other girl will not understand.
Please give me some sound advice as
I am in misery.
ICKEY J. TEMPLE.
Dear Ickey J-:
Since you have fallen so hard for
the new girl and feel that complica
tions will arise, give them both a thrill-
Be nice to both of them and gradually
drop the first girl if you still think
you care no more for her. There is no
reason why you shouldn’t be friendly
w’ith both of them, for you are too
young to settle down with one girl,
aren’t you?
SERIOUS SAL.
Dear Serious Sal:
Oh, please help me! lam a fresh
man at West Georgia in love with a
blonde. I am also a blonde. lam
afraid that soon I will be just another
blonde to him, because I am a town
girl and it is a long way to walk to
my house. What ,can I do?
JUSTINA QUANDARY.
Dear Justina Quandary:
Don’t be too serious about this af
fair, because he may be just another
blonde to you in a few weeks- If you
can’t move nearer the school, you
might meet him in the evenings at the
movie instead of letting him walk to
your house (that is, if you have a pass
to the show.) Try not to limit your
affections to one boy.
SERIOUS SAL.
Cook—" Dear, I implore you t let
me kiss you just once, I never kissed a
girl in my life."
Ruby—" What do you think I am—
an experiment station?"
Watson —"W T hy do some people pre
fer cemetery to graveyard?"
Frances Brock—"lt doesn’t sound
so dead."
Dr. Boyd (after long winded dis
cussion) —“Now- we have X equals
O’’
Newman —“All that work for noth
ing. ’ >
There w r as an old fisher named
Fisher
Who fished on the edge of a fissure;
Till a fish with a grin
Pulled Fisher in.
Now they’re fishing the fissure for
Fisher.
Watson—“ What are the main char
acteristics of a wild thyme?"
M. McGee—“l don’t know, sir; I’ve
never done anything wild."
Cansler —“Can you spell avoid?"
Rabbi—" 4 Sure. What’s the void?’’
Green—“Vhat do you expect to be
w’hen you are of age?"
Weaver — 4 4 Twenty-one. ’ ’
Rev. Towns—“Upshaw, why don’t
you ever attend a house of worship?"
Davis—“jl’m on my way to her
house now-’’
Cowan—“How much preparation did
you put on your psychology lesson?"
L. Arnold— 44 Thirty minutes."
Cowan—"l thought it must have
been fifteen."
Ovid Davis —“What does your son
do?"
Farmer —“He’s a bootblack in the
city."
O. D.—“Oh, I see- You make hay
while th e son shines.’’
Pedestrian—“ You just missed me.’’
Fisher—Well, stand still and I’ll try
again- ’ ’
What’s the matter with Grady?—
He’s suffering from high blonde pres
sure.
J. D. McConnell has to sleep a long
time because he sleeps slow’.
Aileen —“No boy ever made a fool
out of me-’’
Martha M.—“ Who did then?"
Lavender—“So your cousin knows
the exact moment he will die, does
he?"
Otis—“He should ought to, yassuh.
D e jedge done tole him."
Screechy “Could you pass the
bread ?
Moore—“l think I can. I moved
pianos all summer.’’
Mabry 4 4 Look, Miss Jenkins, is
this peach or apple pie?"
J. —"Can’t you tel] by the taste?’’
R. D.—“ No."
j —“ Well, what difference does it
make?"
Macie—“How long does it take you
to dress?"
Ruth—“ About half an hour."
Macie—"lt only takes me ten
minutes! ”
Kown—“l wash."
McKoy—“Did you hear about the
explosion last night?"
Hobbs —“No, how did it happen?’’
Elizabeth—“A smile lit up Frances
Cruse’s face and the powder went
off."
Wood —“May I have the last dance
with you?"
Sue—" You’ve had it."
Coach—“ Here, you shouldn’t hit
that man while he’s down."
Roy Rodgers—Huh, what you think
I got him down for?"