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“FRANKLY SPEAKING"
.>’ JLITI ■■ , '
WHATEVER YOU DO- WHEREVER
YOU GO ~ WHOEVER YOU ARE)!"
David Willingham
Confessions of A Lady B
B pauses timorously at the
portal of the imposing white brick
structure, adjusts a bunch of lace
hanging limply at her slender
white throat, and moves the large
brass knocker. curiously
lashioned in the shape of a
roasted meal-pie, to petition for
admittance. She is admitted to
the building and requests
directions to the third floor of the
edifice After some discussion
over the exact location of the
third level. B is transported there
by a smirking, carbuncular lift
operator who makes sundry
rough allusions to the shape of
her calves. She ignores the lad’s
attentions and takes her leave of
the passenger-lift.
Proceeding down the sump
tuously carpeted hallway, B
deliberately makes her way to a
door marked “321.” It is at this
number that she stops, hesitates
only a second, and knocks boldly
and resolvedly at the door. A
voice answers her from within.
“Enter, please.”
B presses open the entrance
way and finds herself in a well
appointed business-office. Seated
behind a large, simulated-wood
desk is a portly man with the look
of great import, he smiles at B.
she demurely returns the af
lection. B carefully consults a
business-card before ad
dressing the gentleman.
“Mr. Coldtread, I believe?”
“Certainly, my dear.” The
man rises and offers his well
WEST GEORGIAN
STEVE LINER Plf tT g 808 FROST
News Editor V*\ ■ jM, /*/ Business Manager
(, rapines Tommy Smith
Sports Linda (airy ibhev
\lark l eljkov. h redenrk I Aidbetter
Contributors Susan Stewart. Shermaine lietner
The WEST GEORGIAN is published weekly except during final
exams and vacations at Carrollton, Georgia by the students of West
Georgia College. Subscriptions are available at *3.50 a year. Ad
rates are available upon request.
Opinions expressed in signed articles are those of the authors.
Unsigned editorials are those of the majority of the staff members
on the editorial board. In neither instance are they to be taken os
representing those of the student body at large, the faculty, the
staff, or the administration of this college.
Box 10005 - Phone 834-4411, Ext. 414
by Phil trank
manicured hand to B, “May I
help you?”
“Keep your seat, sir,” B
returns rather sharply, “I am not
in need of male patronization.”
“Oh,” Coldtread says,
abashed, "you are of the
liberalive persuasion.”
“A neo-suffragette.”
“Well, the man returns, "what
assistance may I offer?”
"You are in the employment
business, are you not?”
“Of course. Coldtread, Vade,
and Mecum, employment
counselors at large.”
“Well, sir,” B offers, “I am
seeking after employment.”
“Excellent!” Coldtread’s face
lights with a corpulent smile.
"Were you seeking a secretarial
l>osition?”
“Blessed Totino, no!” B has
now become animated with a
pi ,sion which comes only to her
sex. “Secretary, bah! I am
looking for a job commonly
dominated by those of the male
sexual affiliation.”
“You are seeking a man’s
job?”
“Precisely.”
“But why, my dear?” Cold
i read’s eyes rove la viciously up
the entire of B’s young body and
linger on her ample bosom. “It is
obvious that you are not a man.”
"I will thank you to contain
your glances,” she replies coldly.
“I am seeking male employment
in order to help smash the social
domination of the non-female
sex.”
Letters To The Editor
Pool Problems
The Editors:
The situation at the college pool
continues to grow progressively
worse. The non-use of showers
has left a dirt ring around the
sides of the pool. Little kids litter
the pool with styrofoam and
plastic floats. Last week, full
sized car tire inner tubes made it
nearly impossible for swimmers
to avoid collision with the non
swimmers who were being en
couraged to remain non
swimmers by the use of the tubes
and floats. Then there are several
little kids who jump off the high
dive to the side rather than
Coldtread is unperturbed by
B’s actions. He whirls in his
simulated-leather office-chair
and consults a large file labeled
“Opportunities Male.” He
returns his attentions to the lady
with a slightly malevolent smile.
“Yes,” he says, “We have
several opportunities here for
non-females.”
“Excellent,” B replies with a
charmingly feminine inclination
of her head, “could you suggest a
few positions?”
“We have a number of clients
desiring waiters.”
“Too neuter,” B says with a
slight upturn of the nose. “I
desire something more
masculine.”
“More masculine, eh?”
Coldtread is slightly abashed.
“Perhaps you would care for a
career as a fork-lift driver.”
“That’s better,” she smiles,
“but not liberated enough.”
“1 see.” The unfortunate
Coldtread is forced to peruse his
files even more deeply. “Here we
have an opportunity for a
longshoreman.”
“That’s longshoreperson,” ’ B
returns, “but no thank you.”
“Would you like to be a
fireperson, a policeperson?”
“No, no. Keep looking please,
Mr. Coldtread,”
“Here we have an opening for a
male dancer.”
"Come now, Mr. Coldtread,” B
chides, “I specifically requested
a non-female job.”
“Of course, of course,”
Coldtread throws the entry into a
lile marked “Questionable
positions.”
Coldtread searches his files
desperately His hand reaches to
this throat and loosens the silken
neck-tie knotted there. He
searches the index from front to
back, and then pillages it in the
opposite direction. Finally, ap
proaching distraction, Cold
i read's eyes seize upon a par
ticular entry. He smiles, takes up
’he paper, and turns a trium
phant eye upon B.
“Here, I think this will be
satisfactory. It is the perfect
man’s job. Good-day.”
B accepts the twice-folded slip
of paper from Coldtread and
makes her way out of the office
and down to the lobby. Once
outside, standing on the brightly
sunlit sidewalk, she unfolds the
message and looks at its contents
for the first time. There, written
in delicate blue script on white
paper, are the words:
Position Available: Twice
weekly Fluids Donor. Apply the
McDonough Clinic of Artifical
Insemination.
straight ahead, thereby en
dangering themselves and other
swimmers.
The last straw has been the
situation I encountered Tuesday
evening during an open swim
ming time. With the pool already
crowded enough to make
swimming a chore, a “team” of
little girls, under the direction of
Mr. Smith of the physical
education department, stormed
in and roped off half of the pool so
that they could work out.
Several of the students who had
been swimming became in
timidated and moved over to the
“wading” side of the pool. With
the diving boards at one end and
rope bisecting the pool length
wise, the swimmers were
crowded
I began to wonder why this
little girls' team couldn’t work
out during the day when the pool
is sometimes idle. I approached
Parking Solution
The FMitors:
In your last issue you ex
pressed irritation over faculty
and staff paying $1 for parking in
special lots and students paying
$6 and called this a class system.
I have a solution Charge the
faculty and staff $5,000; certainly
this would be adequate to cover
all the special privileges the
faculty and staff have: driving
around and around trying to find
space between student cars in the
faculty and staff parking areas.
Of course, in order to have any
faculty and staff the college
would have to raise pay ap
propriately. This is why it is so
unusual to find an employer
charging employees for parking
on the employer’s premises.
If paying for parking makes
sense, so does paying rent on
one’s office and classroom plus
WELCOME
ALL WEST GA. STUDENTS
& FACULTY TO
Free Student Checking
$20,000 Maximum Insurance
Two Convenient Locations
Adamson Square Maple & South Streets
Me? W>rry about High Blood Pressure?
Right. . . even if you’re young and feel fine! Like more than
10 million other Americans young and old, you could have
high blood pressure and not know it. Untreated, it can lead
to stroke, heart and kidney failure. Only your doctor can de
tect and control high blood pressure. And only he can tell if
you have nothing to worry about.
pit-, Ask your Heart Association
\J/ GIVE HEART FUND
THE WIST GEORGIAN AUGUST 2. 1t74,
Mr. Smith and was told that they
do swim during the day as well.
He then proceeded to pass the
buck to Dr. Reeves, whom he
implied was the god of the
physical education building and
he, Mr. Smith, could do whatever
god said.
I don’t object to little kids using
the pool, but how about
scheduling teams at other times
than open swimming times. The
open sessions are crowded
enough, to say nothing about the
hours being restricted to
evenings during the week.
If Mr. Smith is obstinate and
ignores consideration of fee
paying students, I feel that
swimmers should not be in
timidated into retreating to a
corner of the pool. If the physical
education department is
responsive to student needs, they
will have their teams work out at
some time other than the time
allocated to those of us who are
not members of a club or team.
Vyto Stoskus
utility and supply bills. After all,
through their tuition, students
contribute toward these things.
Of course, the most glaring
example of a class system here
on campus is the fact that while
faculty and staff receive salaries
from the College, the students
don’t. Certainly you should look
into this. When you finish with
this you can go to the U.S.S.R.
and look into the cars provided
officials and then to China to look
into the nicer clothes worn by the
top brass.
Then, when you finish up at
West Georgia, you can go to work
lor my former employer and
park next to your office until you
are 65, smug with the knowledge
that thanks to you I’ll spend the
rest of my working days driving
around and around this campus.
Dr. Carole Scott
Acctg.-Fin. Dept.
9