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2 THE WEST GEORGIAN. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 3,1982 Opinion Unfair Audit West Georgia got its hand slapped recently while trying to give its students a break Students here who are having academic problems are allowed three quarters to improve their grade point average But, auditors working for Congress believe two quarters are sufficient and begrudge the financial aid dollars which finance that third quarter The two/three quarter decision is left, under the law, to the descretion of the individual institution. Although West Georgia’s other financial aid policies met with approval from the auditors, they chose to include the col lege in a report to Congress on abuses of federal aid programs. Ironically an auditor with the Education Department found no pro blem with the choice during his visit just prior to the Government Accoun ting Office audit, but the GAO representatives chose to use a policy which is decided by the institution to accuse West Georgia of abuse. We question the value of this audit when the final report does not identify institutions with their respective "abuses", instead all the abuses are listed followed by a list of institutioas audited. Congrats to Kaiser, Pate At last week’s Georgia Sports Hall of Fame banquet, little old West Georgia College upstaged the state's major names, with two of our athletic mentors gamering awards. Bobby Fate, for his outstanding inent in coaching the revived football program to national prominence, was awarded college coach of the year. Roger Kaiser, as athletic direc tor for all West Georgia sports, con tinued his award winning ways, and was honored as sports executive of the year. It took nearly a quarter of a cen tury for West Georgia to build a winn- o Have you ever noticed how most people associate together according to their majors? Better yet, have you ever noticed tliat you can figure out people’s major just by observing cer tain rather humorous characteristics and idiosycrasies that derive directly from the interests they have chosen to pursue at college? I>et me give you a few examples: Take computer science majors. Please take computer science ma jors! You can always recognize them because they’re the' ones that traipse about with those puzzling, multi colored cubes, twisting tliem violently as they curse them But, after a few day's diligence (and they don’t use the book) they've conquered the mystery of the cubical quandary. They have even been known to dissect Rubik’s million dollar mishap just to examine the workings then they put it back together, just to do it again. You can always pick out computer brains at the video games They're the ones w ith white knuckles wrapped around the knobs ... they’ve been there suice yesterday, spent enough quarters to guarantee sure odds in a slot machine ami have an ac cumulated score too long to fit on the screen The topics of their conversations run amuck w ith computer jargon The first time 1 heard a com-sci whiz speak of the packaging soft-ware, I thought he was talking about fondling women. No matter what oddities you see in these people though, they've got to be nice folks. .After all, the dean always lets them come back from academic probation Or drama people. Actors How Dramatic! They’re the only people 1 know that snore with Shakespearean intonations. It shows dedication: and, after all. they are the ones that lift smiles upon our faces, or pull tears from our eyes. Just don't ever marry an actor - after all, just look at Elizabeth Taylor, Mickey Rooney, Richard Burton and Eddie Fisher And just think, two of those guys have drunk from the same watering hole. Have you ever seen a racing, red light flashing fire engine with so meone chasing madly behind it with pen in one hand, extended like a The GAO auditors took the coward’s way out. If an mstutition is guilty of abuse, let it be identified and then stand up to the charges. But, don’t in volve innocent institutions in such a report just because they were unlucky enough to be selected for the audit in the first place. Thanks President Townsend, for op ting to leave the retention policy as it stands Students get only a few breaks now days, so every one is precious Alternatives If you’re counting on financial aid to get you through your remaining college years, stop and think again If President Ronald Reagan gets his way, federal student aid money will be cut in half and you, like thousands of other people, may be out of a col lege education Conditions have gotten to the point that the average American family cannot afford a college education for a child And, how can that child ex pect any better future without that precious degree. A sheepskin is no longer just a valuable asset but a re quirement for many jobs. If you plan on continuing your education we suggest that you get yourself a job at the local bar and grill or jeans shop and start saving. You’re going to need it! ing football team. Pate did so with some 100 freshmen, and the pro spects look good to repeat with some 100 sophomores. It was more than a yeoman’s task, but Pate proved more than capable. Kaiser is the buck stops here’ man for all Brave athletics. As Athletic Director, Kaiser oversees the smooth and competitive activities of over a dozen intercollegiate sports. The West Georgian warmly offers congratulations on jobs well done and hopes for more of the same from both Pate and Kaiser. The Fine Line By Hal Partridge flagpole to the sky, and a pad in the other hand tucked away like a half back cradling a football'’ Well that’s a journalism major. He’s on the trail of the Big Story. No doubt he will get it, too. They’re dogged individuals. And like a watchdog he’ll hound a crooked official until this reporter sinks his teeth into the true story Or at least until he can make it true A certain breed inspires downright pity in me. It’s those pithy, mundane geology types. They have to amble about daily with mud on the knees of their jeans from where they’ve been kneeling down all day digging around in the dirt. And for thus simple foible, this sunple breach of social etiquette, I hear others berate them with harsh insults like, "what, da’ ya’ have rocks in yar head or sumthin’? Afterall, these geology folks are just sunple, deeply emotional children of the ear th, who enjoy a good stone every now and then They’re just on a different stratum than the rest of us that’s all. Even criminology students who work for public safety can be iden tified in a plain clothes crowd. You can recognize them ’cause they wear impenetrably dark. teardrop sunglasses hiding their investigative eyes, and sport glaring black, patent leather shoes w ith ebony laces. They also skulk behind bushes and pounce on stunned passersby smoking cigarettes. They snatch the burning Virginia cylinder out the passersby’s hand, quickly whip it up to his nose, barely taking a whiff, sneeze violent ly, and sternly sneer: "What is this”’’ "Well, it’s a Marlboro Extra-light Menthol One-Hundred Extra-long Double Wider in a hard pack. Ya' want one?” (Incidentally, this guy’s probably a writer). "No, I was just chicken, er, I mean checkin'.” Well, actually, the guys and gals in blue aren't that bad; and afterall, they protect us from the city police, dogs tinkling on our tires, Maurice Townsend parking improperly, non moving vehicles, dogs tinkling in our beer ... and a ... ah ... ahm ... and ... amh ... come to think of it. one saved me from a hundred snowblind maniacs catapulting snowballs at my a k Have you been by Row Hall lately? If you’ve been walking to classes that way, chances are you’ve noticed the flying fruits and vegetables coming out of the second and third floor win dows. If you thought all that debris tie hind Row was perhaps an indication that campus sanitation workers were about to go on strike or that we had some how managed to lie on the route of a pretty messy bunch of garbage collectors, you are certainly wrong It seems some of the athletes living in Row can’t get enough sports these days. They've invented a few of their own-like bombarding passing students with tomatoes, oranges, sesame seed buns, and even watermelons. And, I was wondering why fruit was such a hot item at Z-6 this quarter In case you didn’t know it, Row is the residence hall on campus where school athletes stay. The school decided to experiment with placing all the athletes in one dorm, largely because the football team was in its early development stages. At least that’s what the ad- As I sludged wearily through the puddles that were gently lapping at the base of the library steps on my way to class last week, my super acute sense of perception picked up on something strange and disturbing on the frowning faces of my fellow students. This expression of despair and hopelessness went far beyond your average damn-this-cold-wet winter-quarter-day look" that had been plaguing several of my compa nions all through February'. No This was something altogether different. How Do You Clique? car in front of the student center a couple months ago. Thanks, fella'. By the way, how’s that bruise on your rear? Well let’s see what else of interest have we here on campus ui the way of peculiarities that can be traced to cer tain groups of people ... there are a lot to choose from ... we’ve got fraternity boys, sorority girls, football players, psych students, business students, make-believe macho men, girls with skyward noses Oh my God !! A crowd of people are clamoring outside my office w indow Letters Lice The Editor: Is it true? Or, have you not heard the treacherous rumor about the inva sion of the anoplura? Yes indeed folks, you could have very well been attacked and not even be aware of it. Think about it; are you a victim.’ There are already several students of this college who wish that they were not. If you still do not understand w hat I am try ing to tell you. well it's this simple Within the past week, there have already been four dorms sprayed for anaplura or what is more commonly known by you and I as lice. Just think about it: has your head been itching an excessive amount lately? Well, if it has you better head for the infirmary before the nits t lice eggs) that have been laid in your hair hatch into many more of those typhus fever causing pests. Now that you have been fully warn ed, probably not in time however, I will endeavor to speak my piece! If the administration has been notified about this rapidly spreading epidemic of annoy ing pests for over an entire week now. then why haven’t they taken some measures to prevent it from spreading any further than it has. other than merely spraying a pesticide for them when it is evident that they are spreading faster than The Difference is Worth Knowinq By Mark McCloud, Editor Fruit Flies at WGC ministration claims. However, those who were around last year nught sug gest other activities such as distur bances in local restaurants, fighting in bars, and increased vandalism on campus as the real reason they were put together in an attempt to control their high-spirited activities-or at last keep it in one place However, some administrators have said there has been little trouble with discipline in Row this year Be ing the target of thrown produce is not the only assault students have been encountering on the way to class There have also been complaints that females have been subject to some rather crude verbal epithets. Perhaps, this sadistic, macho type was chic back in the days of the Nean (lrathal Man, but I don't think it still is today. I’m sure most of the campus ladies don't mind the wolf whistles and can good-naturedly put up with some of the hooting, but the obscene name calling is simply too much Some of the problems that have resulted from housing all athletes were envisioned and predicted right In Style By Jeff Styles Something dismal yet terrifying. Carefully hidden yet obviously pain ful. Something bothersome as hell yet unavoidable. The problem with my friends and companions was that dire malady that has spelled doom for many an unprepared freshman and overconfident senior alike. They were all suffering from (gasp). Finalphobia Finaiphobia. The very word us enough to send a cascade of shudders running down the spine of even the strongest student No one can escape It seems ... yes, I can hear them grumbling about something it seems someone has been reading over my shoulder through the window while I’ve been typing ... the noise has now risen to an angry din ... now they’re try ing to break down the office door ... my God. they might just get through ... well that's all from me for now l’m going to make a mad dash for the door. Oh crap, 1 better grab my typewriter first... alright, I'm gone see ya' next month to tell ya’ about everybody else they can be destroyed. My conclusion is that the ad ministration doesn’t have to worry about coming in contact with them because they are never around the students or where the student ac tivities take place. Or better yet, they don't have to worry because most of them do not have the hair on their heads for the louse to infest any way ! Rodney T. Barron Money Needed The Editor: I totally agree with you that the debate team deserves a big, hearty pat on the back. They have done a good job throughout the years. But, let's look at the budget they are given. The debate team receives a sum of $15,000. This is an outrageous amount. They fly to Boston and other places where we as athletes must ride in vans which break down at least twice along the way. Athletes are given $3.50 for meal money. Have you ever tried to get a good nutritional meal for that amount. The debate team can go out and recruit top debaters, but can the track team do this? No, they can t. The track team has one scholarship to divide among 30 runners. How can you expect the track team to compete against Georgia. Auburn and Florida State? How can you get the top run from the beginning. Some pretty con vincing arguments against the idea of putting the athletes in one dorm were made by Michael Byrd, editor of the West Georgian last year Byrd said that with the creation of an athletic dorm athletes would be missing out on the valuable elements of the college experience. Byrd's mast serious con tention was that "athletes could too easily pass through this college en vironment having taken too little from the school of HOW TO RELATE IN THE REAL WORLD.” Knowing Byrd, he would have rather been pro ven wrong. He also suggested that when more of the mature players on the football team emerged as leaders, their behavior would exemplify the true spirit of college athletics. Well, it's a year later, I wonder what they are waiting for A campus vote? True leaders would inspire better behavior than what's coming out of Row right now Some students have voiced plans for vengeance against the athletes in the form of counter-attacks. Some already have. These are the same Final phobia it. No jock can outrun it. No philosophy major can reason with it. It will find its way into your dreams and seep into every aspect of your life. Even though they are usually quickly covered up and kept from the eyes of the students, not a quarter goes by when some* luckless undergraduate does not succumb to the manic depression that can set in while suf fering from thus unspeakable illness. Few indeed remember that fateful day in 1977 when an entire fraternity came down with a collective case of Finalphobia and, at a bizzare ritual behind the old long Branch, drank from a pony keg laced with arsenic. (The attempted suicide failed when word of the keg got around to the cam pus and so many people showed up that nobody could receive a lethal dose.) And then, of course, there was the case of Shelton "Cram" Fairfax who locked himself into one of the library's study rooms for an incredible 73 hours during finaLs week in spring quarter 1974. For a little over two solid days "Crain” worked feverishly on two separate term projects, one in Spanish and another ui accounting. Of course, he missed the deadline for both by several hours and the moun tain of paperwork that he had produc ed was useless. But Shelton did develop the capability to bore the hell out of anyone in two different languages. However, Finalphobia does not always take such a severe form Many well-known doctors argue that ners around the country without any money. Your top athletes aren’t finan cially well-off. You can't lure an athlete with a nice looking campus. You need money. 1 can't believe The West Georgian compared athletics and the debate team. If they keep raising the debate team budget, we’ll have to celebrate homecoming at a debate tournament. Name Withheld Upon Request Seats Available To the editor: What one calls fun is his own business. But habit is a great deadner, even when it appears to be the fun and the hassle-of college. It is deadening if it forces an individual to stick to the tried and true, to avoid risk, to not venture to break the pat tern of sameness...the games, the rituals, parties... "Nothing to be done," said one West Georgia student last week. Let's go," said his friend. "Yes, Let's go." But they do not move. The two students were Mike Osment and David Neale. Or. rather, they were Vladimir and Estrogen, two clownish vagabonds in the Samuel Beckett masterpiece of modem theatre Wa i ting for Godot The play is about the rigidity , stubbornness, foolishness and ignorance of most students who flock to the stadium and the gym to cheer the boys on. I wonder if the I'boys" realize what thev are doing-alienating their own fans. They are really screwing up a good thing-the spirit that school pride is built on. Of course, it's probably just a few, (I repeat a few), of the athletes who haven't grown up yet and are suffer ing from a case of arrested develop ment But they are steadfastly damaging the image of the football team, as w ell as other athletic teams on campus. These jerks are building an offensive reputation that may eventually tarnish all athletes on campus, w hether they participated in the foolishness or not. This newspaper is very proud of the athletic teams on campus. We still are However, this sour conduct is not the behavior of true champions. True champions act like champions off the field, too. If it keeps up, perhaps some students will make their displeasure known at game tune After all, who wants to support a bunch of second and third graders. the most serious cases are those that do not readily make themselves ap parent until it is too late. And, they plead with college students to take the disease seriously and to try and learn to recognize its symptoms. 1. General fatigue. Caused by wor rying, excessive studying, and massive alcohol and drug ingestion while trying to forget about the fatigue in the first place. 2. Discoloration and trembling of the outer extremities. Caused by over doses of caffeine and junk foods and by beating typewriters, calculators, etc...into pieces during violent fits of frustration and rage. 3. Sunken eyes and wrinkled brow. Caused by reading for long periods of time, squinting at miles of microfilm, and wild hysterical sobbing. (When the atmosphere conditions are right, one can sit at a particular place in love Valley and catch the moans and wails of flunking students from three different dorms. An eerie spectacle indeed.) There are other, minor, symptoms of Finalphobia that we could go into if only there was enough space. But this brief description of the disease and its effects should be enough to make many students aware of its presence at West Georgia. Don't be caught off guard. Drink plenty of fluids (16 oz. Bud’s preferably), get plenty of rest i somewhere deep in the Florida Keys, if you can swing it), and try not to take over five hours every quarter, and you should be able to ride out the epidemic. people. In my frustration I think I am beginning to understand what he was talking about. This play, along with two of Tennessee Williams' best have been offered in repertory to the West Georgia College Community by a group of extremely dedicated, talented students-and practically no one has come. Why don't Vladimir and Estrogen go? Why don’t students at West Georgia go to see these outstandingly performed dramas'' Obviously they don't want to. Why not 0 It’s safer not to. It’s easier. Maybe they don’t know where the theatre is located on campus? (A crow flying from the library to Melson Hall would fly over it.) Play too obscure 0 Difficult 0 What isn't that’s worthwhile 0 ) Or maybe there is no reason at all- Nothing to be done. Such is life.” However, it does seem a pity when an opportunity arises and so mans let it go to waste. Those folks who did at tend apparently had a good time judg ing from their responses, laughter, applause. For any who might have an interest, Waiting for Godot is performed tonight and Friday night; The Glass Menagerie, Thursday night; and Summer and Smoke, Saturday night all at 8 P.M. Seats are available. To those who come: thank you. Sincerely, Dr. J. Olive Link. Director of Theatre