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CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING
Classified rates are 20 cents perword with a 10-word or $2 minimum. There
are additional charges for headines, bold and capital letters. All classified ads
must be paid in advance and in person.
Proofs or tearsheets are not available. The West Georgian reserves the right
to refuse any advertisement that is misieadng, in poor taste or questionable in
content. The West Georgian is not resposible for errors in classified ads after the
first insertion.
The West Georgian does not accept ads for research/term papers for resale.
For acceptance of mail order advertising, if payment is required for a product, a
sample of the product must accompany the insertion order.
Ads for foe "Personal" category must be accompanied with a correct name,
address and phone number. This information will remain confidential.
Other restrictions may also apply to classified advertising.
Classified ads must be placed at the West Georgian office, Room 109 Student
Center, Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays between 10 am and 4 pm.
Categories: Typing; T utoring; Employment Wanted; Help Wanted; Apt. For Rent;
Want To Rent; Roommate Needed; For Sale; Lost & Found; Personal; Travel
Opportunities. (Other categories created as needed.)
HELP
WANTED
PANAMA CITY BEACH SPRING
BREAK '92 THE MIRACLE
MILE
Earn the most money! Earn free
trips! Sell the Summit Condominium
Resort! The most popular beach lo
cation! Next to the worlds largest
clubs! SpinnakeresandClubLeVela!
Call Jenny: 1-800-558-3002.
BEACH PARTY PROMOTER
WANTED. If you are marketing
oriented and enjoy meeting new
people, we want to hire you! Earn
high commissions and free Florida
vacations by promoting our Florida
College Beach Parties. Call (800)
874-6613.
Campus Reps Wanted! Quality va
cations to exotic destination! Sell
spring break packages to Jamaica,
Cancun, Bahamas, Margarita Island.
Fasteststo free travel and sss. Call
SUN SPLASH TOURS. 1-800-426-
7710
FAST FUNDRAISING PRO
GRAM
Fratemitites, sororities, student clubs.
Earn up to SI,OOO in one week. Plus
receive a SI,OOO bonus yourself. And
a free watch just for calling 1-800-
932-0528 Ext. 65.
Student
Employment
STUDENT JOBS ON-CAMPUS
College Work Study Program
(CWSP) is a work program that is-pre
approved by the Financial Aid Office.
CWSP 58 Driver/Delivery - Flexible
morning hours, M-F, 10-15 hrs/wk.
Must have a valid license. $4.25/hr.
CWSP 57 Bus Driver - To drive the
WGC bus on campus. M-Th, 4-7 p.m.
SIOO/wk COMMERCIAL LICENSE
REQUIRED.
Off-Campus
227 Logo Designer - To design a logo
for a professional association. SSO for
project.
226 Child Care - To watch one child
NS AP needs campus rep. 5 hours per
week. No selling Great pay. Call
CHUCK 1-800-937-1797.
FREE INFORMATION FOR STU
DENTS WHO NEED SCHOLAR
SHIP MONEY. Results Guaran
teed. 1-800-937-1797.
Fundraiser: We're looking for a top
fraternity, sorority, or student orga
nization that would like to earn SSOO
- for a one week on-campus
marketing project. Must be organized
and hard working. Call JoAnn at
(800) 592-2121 ext 115.
Skydive Student discounts. Same
day training available. For more
Informantion: 1-800-232-JUMP.
FOR RENT
One bedroom apt. Near college. $175/
month. (832-6403)
AUTOMOTIVE
Seized Cars, trucks, boats, 4 wheel
ers, motorhomes, by FBI, IRS, DEA.
Available your area now. Call (805)
628-7555 Ext. C-5894.
TYPING
Term papers and dissertations ($1.50/
page). Marietta-Kennesaw-
Woodstock area. 426-6890.
from 3-11 p.m., M-F. S4O/wk.
225 Maintenance -Cleaning, some sales,
and cashier. M,W,F 3-6 p.m. and 9a.m.-
6p.m. Sat. $4.50/hr.
222 Packer - To put auto parts in boxes
for shipments. Previous experience
helpful. Must have reliable transporta
tion. FULTON INDUSTRIAL AREA.
217 Gymnastics Instructor - Organiz
ing, instructing, and coaching gymnas
tics. Must have competition experience.
Salary based on percentage basis.
223 Waitress - Flexible hours. Experi
ence helpful.. $2.01 plus tips.
221 Marketing Rep. - To help with local
marketing. Flexible hours. $5/hr.
214 Security Guard-Three days, twelve
hour shifts. $4.50/hr.
For more information come by the Student Em
ployment Office, room 233, Parker Hall. No
telephone calls please.
\*P Rich’s kids
by Rich Dahm
Media Heroes
We all think kids today watch too
much television. Actually,
whether we want to admit it or
not, we adults were probably just
as glued to the set when we were
kids. But the real debate isn’t who
watched more TV, but who had
the better TV heroes—us or them.
The following comparison will
rate each hero’s strengths and
weaknesses, then, based on those
characteristics, determine who
would win an all-out battle.
Lassie vs. Alf
Basis for comparison: Lovable
furry dog-like creatures.
Strengths: Lassie—saves drown
ing children; warns humans of
danger with well-timed barks.
Alf—has extra-terrestrial powers;
has thumbs.
Weaknesses: Lassie—limited
vocabulary. Alf—the lovable
catch phrase, “No problem.”
Who would win an all-out battle?
Since Alf is just a hand puppet,
Lassie would easily chew him to
shreds.
The Bradys vs. The Huxtables
Basis for comparison: Generic
TV families.
Strengths: Bradys—Mrs. Brady
is a housewife, so she’s able to
spend more quality time with the
kids; Greg is on the football team.
Huxtables—lip-synch well to
gether; have hip wardrobes.
Weaknesses: Bradys—all eight
members are not blood related.
Huxtables—Theo gets bad grades
in school; Lisa Bonet got preg
nant out of wedlock.
Who would win? Though it
would be a close call, The Bradys,
with the aid of Alice, would prob
ably win by sheer number.
Bamm Bamm Rubble vs. Bart
Simpson
Basis for comparison: Mischie
vous cartoon kids.
Strengths: Bamm Bamm—able
to lift Dino’s doghouse over his
head with one arm; will one day
marry Pebbles. Bart—good with
snappy comebacks; strong mar
keting potential.
Weaknesses: Bamm Bamm—
limited by babytalk vocabulary;
forced to wear cumbersome
wooden undergarments. Bart—
poor attitude; unable to count on
family for moral support.
Who would win? Bamm Bamm
would cream Bart’s grocery-bag
shaped cranium with his club.
The West Georgian-Wednesday, January 15,1992-
The following Is an offering of HUMOR from the West
Georgian Editorial Staff. It is not meant to be a guide for
personal growth or decision making. We apologize to those
readers who did not understand Its intended humorous
meaning in last week’s edition.
Vow/fe?/Horoscope
M Ruby UUtf/ner-lo *
in R. R. 6. P-certified Rstrologer
Aries: (Mar. 21-Apr. 19) Your
stress will peak when you acci
dentally run down a sidewalk
full of pedestrians in a high speed
chase.
Taurus: (Apr. 20-May 20) A
nasty cut you get while shaving
will become infected with gan
grene. An amputation is likely.
Gemini: (May 21-June 21) The
new moon is perfect for making
resolutions that stick. Cut back
on anal intrusion.
Cancer: (June 22—July 22) Swal
lowing a bottle of little blue pills
will bring an end to those nag
ging financial difficulties.
Leo: (July 23-Aug. 22) Anew
relationship will have you
walking on air, but will come to
an abrupt end when you repulse
your mate with your incessant
nose-picking.
Virgo: (Aug. 23-Scpt. 22) Ask
yourself what you need to feel
secure, then blow Vienna sau
sages at people through sections
of garden hose.
Libra: (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) Emu
late people in beer commercials,
for they are the wisest on Earth.
Cookie Monster vs. Freddy
Kruger
Basis for comparison: Monsters
Strengths: Cookie Monster—
cute; childlike speech patterns.
Kruger—razor-sharp fingernails;
ability to enter dreams.
Weaknesses: Cookie Monster—
penchant for fresh-baked goods.
Kruger—maims at the slightest
provocation; dies at the end of
every movie.
Who would win? Rather than
conjuring up images of Freddy
Kruger slashing poor Cookie
Monster to bits, let’s just say
Freddy wins this one.
The Six Million Dollar Man vs.
Robocop
Basis for comparison: Man-and
machine entities.
Strengths: Steve Austin—can
run faster in slow motion than
cars can go in real time; possesses
Lee Majors’ dashing good looks.
Robocop—metallic armor; com-
Scorpio: (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Bring
friends together this weekend,
then bicker with them about
unsubstantiated gossip.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
You’ll acquire the ability to
withstand extremely cold tem
peratures. Use this new power to
fight crime.
Capricorn: (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Ensure your position at the
workplace. Urinate on the walls
in areas that you consider your
territory.
Aquarius: (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Af
ter staring at a video display
terminal for too long, you will
see a ghostly image of Gavin
MacLeod.
Pisces: (Feb. 19-Mar. 20) If your
feet tire, ache, pain, burn, itch
or perspire excessively from
over-exertion, fatigue or stress,
then eat them.
Astrologer Ruby Wyner-lo has
counselled prominent politicians, film
stars and wresding champions with
her knowledge of the stars. This, her
weekly astrology column, is for
common riffraff like you.
puter brain; gun built into leg.
Weaknesses: Steve Austin—poor
special effects; nearly lost battle
in “Bigfoot” episode.
tormented by memories of life as
a human.
Who would win? Against
Robocop’s stainless steel armor,
Steve Austin hasn’t got a chance.
The Fonz vs. “Downtown” J ulie
Brown
Basis for comparison: Cool
people who wear leather and can
summon up music at will.
Strengths: Fonz—can jump over
13 garbage cans and a shark; can
make girls kiss him by just snap
ping his fingers. Brown—real-boss
dancer; attractive bare midriff.
Weaknesses: Fonz-—has to share
TV screen space with Scott Baio.
Brown—has to share TV screen
space with Vanilla Ice.
Who would win? There would be
no fighting. The Fonz would woo
Julie Brown’s heart and make her
the next Pinky Tuscadero. •
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