Newspaper Page Text
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By John J. Kane
Professor of Sociology
University of Notre Dame
While the community consid
ers us a good Catholic family,
our home life is miserable. My
husband is interested in nothing
the children and I discuss. He
considers us stupid. He hates
Negroes, and if we defend
them, he hits the ceiling. He
gives us long lectures at meal
time about our behavior. Out
side, he is a “good guy,” but
at home is a tyrant who runs
everyone down.
* * *
There is an old folk saying
about some people who are
called “street angels” and
“house devils”. They are a type
of Jekyll-Hyde character who
presents one side of his per
sonality on one occasion and
quite a different aspect on an
other. To some extent of
course, we all do this. It is
also true that within the inti
mate bounds of family life,
people tend to let down their
hair and reveal their true selv
es.
Basically, your husband ap
pears to be a very unhappy,
maladjusted person who takes
out the aggressions he suffers
on his family. He deserves
more sympathy than criti
cism. The situation can only be
changed if you and your children
can somehow or other bear up
me
OtCantait
MOTOR HOTEL
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LUCKIE AT CONE ST.
A Good Address In Atlanta
under this as patiently, as char
itably, and as kindly as possible
for some time to come.
Your husband’s personality is
rather strikingly revealed in
his strong dislike or hatred
of Negroes. People who are
dissatisfied with themselves,
who literally hate themselves
and feel deeply inferior, are
always looking for a ' 'scape
goat”. In our society the Ne
groes have unfortunately been a
very popular scapegoat. He is
a person upon whom one can
blame all of his troubles and
difficulties. The fact that the
Negro is in no way to blame
for your husband’s plight has
nothing whatsoever to do with
his reactions.
Some people simply have a
psychological need to look down
upon others. It is their only
way of feeling important. In
this way they somehow or oth
er build up a bit of self esteem
for themselves. But the price
they pay for it is a heavy one
and the ultimate satisfaction of
their personality needs simply
is not met. Your husband’s feel
ings are sometimes shared by
large groups of people.
INDIA: AfDAID TO ENTER THE CHURCH
1 The Holy Father’s Mission Aid
for the Oriental Church
Eighty Catholic families in the village of VAIKOM In Kerala
State, India, are having a difficult time preserving their fnith
They live surrounded by high casw
Hindus, Ezhavas and Valas, rich and
having beautiful temples. The poor
Catholics two years ago built a
makeshift chapel mostly of leaves,
lisp SSH Today it cannot hold the parishion-
HPr ers. Besides it is in danger of col
lapse. The people are afraid to
enter and stay outside during serv
ices. VAIKOM is also a strong
Marxist center, even called the Mos
cow of Kerala . . . Under the direc
tion of their pastor, Father Francis
Thachil, the people wish to build a
new chapel. They will give their labor, what little money and
building material they can but they need $4,000 for the work.
Will you help them with a donation? Maybe you’d like to
build a MEMORIAL CHAPEL here for some friend or loved
one. Please do what you can for these poor people.
A STRANGE AND AWESOME STORY
This comes out of the Jesuit annals. In the years between
1610 and 1730, seme 760 letters were received in Rome from
Jesuits, begging their superiors to send them to the missions.
Many said they were awakened at night with dreams of savages
in far-off lands, dying without priests. Some signed their
request in blood . . . Perhaps today a hidden inspiration draws
some missionaries on to work for God. We do know the tre
mendous zeal and sacrifices of those in the Near and Middle
East countries entrusted to our care. You can help by:
1. Giving a STRINGLESS GIFT for an urgent mission need.
2. Sending a DOLLAR each month to one of our MISSION
CLUBS. They serve the aged, the sick, orphans and help
to bu’ld schools and chapels.
3. By taking out a membership in our association. Only
$1 a year for single persons; S5 for a family.
4. By buying a needed CHAPEL ITEM. The cost runs
from S5 to S100. Gifts such as Altar linens, Stations of
the Cross, etc.
MASS STIPENDS ARE A CONSTANT NEED. OFTEN THEY
ARE A PRIEST’S SOLE DAILY SUPPORT.
ADOPTING A PARISH
Consider the good which would come if each of the 15,000
American Catholic parishes adopted "a poor parish in the Near
or Middle East. Some parishes might, for instance, help pay
the expenses for the education of a seminarian which cost $100
a year for six years or help a Sister-to-be like SISTER MARY
LISEUS or SISTER MARY ANGELUS whose training costs
S150 a year for two years.
FIRST COMMUNION
Maureen F. writes; “I am going to receive my First Holy
Communion this year and I want a little girl to have a
dress cind veil like me.”
Dear Maureen: Your kindness will bring the poor child a
great joy and you great graces . . . $10 will buy a child
such an outfit.
Remember us in your will. Our legal title:
The Catholic Near East Welfare Association.
Dear Monsignor Ryan:
Enclosed please find
Name
Street
City
for
. .Zone
State
f*tLl2ear £ast Olissionsj^
FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN, President
Msgr. Joseph T. Ryan, Nat’l Sec'y
Send all communications to:
CATHOLIC NEAR EAST WELFARE ASSOCIATION
130 Madison ,Ave. at 42nd St. Now York, N. Y. 10017
One of the tragedies of Am
erica’s minorities is that they
sometimes hate each other most
intensely, even though they are
all in the same boat. One rea
son that the poor whites in the
South have suffered poverty
discrimination, lack of educa
tion and other handicaps as will
ingly as they have, can be
traced to the fact that they
could always feel superior to
one other group of people,
namely Negroes. This is the
device Adolf Hitler used in
Germany to whip up feelings
against the Jews. Catholics,
too, at one period of our his
tory, suffered this type of treat
ment.
An interesting aspect of your
husband’s behavior is that he
apparently puts on quite a front
when he is outside the home
Actually, this reveals his feel
ings of timidity and inferiority
towards those whom he feels
are his betters. Yet in the safe
ty of his home he constantly
runs them down before you and
the children. Since he is not
particularly certain about his
own level of intelligence, des
pite what he may say, he con
tinually informs you and the
children that you are stupid. By
telling you that you are stupid,
he is in effect stating what he
would like to believe—that he
is quite intelligent.
There is only one way that
you can deal adequately with
this situation. Arguments will
avail you absolutely nothing
As a matter of fact, the more
you argue with him or quarrel
with him, the more necessary
it becomes for him to play the
role of a tyrant.
In fact, if your arguments
get through to him at all,
doubtful possibility, they will
shake what artificial self es
teem he has been able to build
up by verbally abusing you
You should try to look into
your husband’s situation care
fully. What is the source of the
frustration which brings about
this terrible aggression? Is he
unhappy with his job? Does he
have to deal with a tyrannical
boss who constantly abuses him
and whom he in turn cannot even
criticize? Or is his problem
perhaps in some other area of
life such as among certain
friends? Does he feel that his
income is considerably lower
than other people of about the
same education and age? I can
not understand any of these
questions myself because I do
not know your husband person
ally. Perhaps you can do so.
If you are able to find the
source of his trouble, or still
better, if you can indirectly
lead him to discover it. It may
be that he will have to change
his job, perhaps he will have
to cultivate new friends. But of
this I do feel certain. If some
psychological change is not
brought about, your husband’s
condition will become increas
ingly worse, and both you and he
and the children even more
miserable than you are now.
If, after trying carefully, to
find the source of his difficulty,
it is not apparent, then I sug
gest that you discuss the mat
ter with your family physician.
It may be that your husband will
have to be referred to a psy
chologist or a psychiatrist to
obtain the professional help of
which he already seems to
stand in some need. And until
this change can be brought
about, I can only repeat what I
said earlier, you will have to
practice the greatest tact, pa
tience and love with him. He
is some what ill psychological
ly speaking.
5k * *
Dr. Kane will be unable to
answer personal mail. However
he welcomes your suggestions
of topics that would particular
ly interest you. Address Dr.
Kane in care of this newspaper.
Obituaries
Mrs. Lodge
SAVANNAH - Funeral serv
ices for Mrs. Gertrude Lynch
Lodge were conducted May 8,
at the Cathedral of St. John the
Baptist with the Reverend Leo
nard O’Brien officiating.
Surviving are her husband,
Albert H. Lodge, two sons,
Charles P. Brady and Francis
M. Brady; a daughter, Mrs.
Gertrude A. Josenhans of Fort
Carson, Colo.; two stepsons,
Lonnie L. Lodge and Albert H.
Lodge Jr.; a stepdaughter,Mrs.
Shirley Kantor of Medford, Ore.
and 18 grandchildren.
The Southern Cross, May 14, 1964—PAGE 5
Mrs. Grady
SAVANNAH - Funeral serv
ices for Mrs. Annie Harte Gra
dy were held May 6 at Sacred
Heart Church with the Reverend
Timothy Flaherty officiating.
Serving as acolytes were Mrs.
Grady’s grandsons, Hugh Grady
Jr., James Hester and Francis
Hester, all of Savannah and
Jerry Verzaal, a seminarian at
St. John Vianney Minor Semi
nary, Miami, Fla.
Surviving are a son, Hugh H.
Grady; three daughters, Mrs.
John Buckley and Mrs. Frank L.
Hester of Savannah and Mrs.
Gerard Verzaal of Delray
Beach, Fla.; a brother, C. C.
Harte of Jacksonville; nine
grandchildren and two great
grandchildren.
Miss Horne
SAVANNAH - Funeral serv
ices for Miss Mary Horne were
conducted May 11 in the Chapel
of the Little Sisters of the Poor
with the Reverend Stephen
Dowd, O.S.B. officiating.
Surviving are two sisters,
Mrs. Celeste Sloan of Macon
and Mrs. Constance Norvelleof
Abilene, Texas.
Mrs. Kennedy
SAVANNAH - Funeral ser-
ices for Mrs. Bea Robbins
(Alexander F.) Kennedy were
held May 13 at Blessed Sacra
ment Church with the Reverend
Cornelius Keane officiating.
Surviving are her husband,
Alexander F. Kennedy; a daugh
ter, Dolly Marie Robbins, and a
son, James Edward Robbins.
MARRIAGES
SILFIES - MELVIN
AUGUSTA — Miss Jerrie
Lynn Melvin and Mr. Joseph
O. Silfies Jr. were married
April 25 at Holy Spirit Catho
lic Church in New Castle, Del.
The Reverend Francis J. Sper-
ka performed the ceremony.
The bride is the daughter of
Mr. and Mrs. John W. Melvin,
formerly of Augusta, and the
bridegroom is the son of Mr.
and Mrs. Joseph O. Silfies Sr.,
New Castle, Del.
PADRON - BURSON
COLUMBUS — Miss Linda
Kaye Burson became the bride
of Michael Larwence Padron
May 2 in a ceremony perform
ed at the Church of the Holy
Family with the Reverend Ar
thur Weltzer officiating. The
bride is the daughter of Mrs.
Juanita Hinto Crockett, the
groom's parents are Mr. and
Mrs. Lawrence Padron of Key
West, Fla.
ALOI - RUSTIN
COLUMBUS — The Church
of the Holy Family was the
scene May 2 of the wedding of
Miss Eileen Sue Rustin, daugh
ter of Mr. and Mrs. Jason M.
Rustin, and Francis J. Aloi, Jr.
son of Mr. and Mrs. Frank
Aloi of Elmira, N.Y. The Rev
erend Walter Di Francisco of
ficiated.
DeBORDE - GAVIN
SAVANNAH —Miss Gertrude
Cecilia Gavin became the bride
of Richard John DeBorde Jr.,
in a nuptial mass May 9, in
Sacred Heart Church, with the
Reverend Aloysious Wachter,
O.S.B., officiating. The bride
is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs.
John Richard Gavin, Sr. The
bridegroom’s parents are Mr.
and Mrs. Richard John De
Borde, Sr.
ST. FRANCIS XAVIER
Pictured with her pastor,
FIRST COMMUNION CLASS —
Father Paul Burkort, S. M., are
the First Communicants from St. Francis Xavier School,
Brunswick, Ga. The children made their First Communion
on Low Sunday.
Pope Asks Reconciliation
Between Church, Artists
MISS KITCHENS
Freshman
From Macon
Is Delegate
MI'ss Mary Ann Kitchens, a
freshman from Macon, was re
cently elected the Senior Dele
gate to the National Federation
of Catholic College Students for
the 1964-65 school year at Sac
red Heart College, Cullman,
Ala.
In a campus wide election
that resulted in two run-offs,
Mary Ann was elected over two
well-qualified running mates.
As a NFCCS representative,
Mary Ann said that her main
objective next year would be to
make the student body more
aware of this organization.
Since she has served as a Junior
Delegate this year and recently
attended the NFCCS Spring Con
gress in Memphis, she feels
that she is better informed for
her position as the Senior Dele
gate.
The daughter of Mr. and Mrs.
Drew Kitchens, Mary Ann grad
uated last May from Mt.de Sales
High School. At Sacred Heart
she is studying secondary edu
cation and plans to teach
English.
COMM ENOR ATI VE M E-
dal- Struck in gold and pre
sented to Paolo Cardinal
Marella, Papal Legate to the
New York World’s Fair, by
Francis Cardinal Spellman of
New York, this medal was de
signed by scupltor Albino
Manca. It shows on one
side the heads of Popes Paul
VI and John XXIII over an
exterior view of the Vatican
Pavilion at the fair. The re
verse side depicts the Pieta
by Michelangelo, on exhibit
there. Bronze copies of the
medal will be available as
Vatican Pavilion souvenirs.
(NC Photos)
VATICAN CITY (NC)—Pope
Paul VI has told a group of
leading Italian artists that it
is necessary today “to reestab
lish friendship between the
Church and the artists.”
The Pope laid the blame for
the distance between much of
modern art and the Church on
the shoulders both of artists and
of the Church in a discourse he
delivered in the Sistine chapel
on Ascension Thursday (May 7),
As the Pope celebrated Mass
beneath the great fresco of Mi
chelangelo’s Last Judgment, a
choir composed of members of
the Artists’ Mass movement
sang motets of Palestrina, one
of the greatest of all composers
of Church music. Well-known
Italian actors read the Epistle,
Gospel and a special prayer for
artists in Italian.
The Pope told the assembled
artists that "Our ministry has
need of your help because, as
you know, our ministry is that
of preaching and of making ac
cessible and understandable,
and even stirring, the world of
the Spirit, the invisible world of
God the unexpressible. And in
this operation of expressing the
invisible world in accessible
and understandable formulas
you are the masters. It is your
profession, and your art is pre
cisely that snatching of the trea
sures of heaven and of the spirit
and clothing them in un
derstandable words, colors and
forms.”
The Pope stressed the need
for reestablishing friendship
between the Church and artists
although he added, “It has never
truly been broken.” He said
that "We have always been
friends. But as happens among
relatives, so it happens among
friends, relations are some
times worsened. We have not
broken but we have strained
our friendship. May I say it?
You have somewhat abandoned
the friendship, you have gone
far afield to drink at other foun
tains.”
The Pope told artists that "we
carry a certain wound in our
heart when we see persons in
tent on certain artistic expres
sions which offend us.” Pointing
out that some artists separate
art from life, the Pope said
they "sometimes forget the fun
damental rule of your conse
cration to expression.”
The result is, the Pope said,
"the language of babel and con
fusion.” But on the other hand,
he said, the Church has con
tributed to the rupture of rela
tions with the atistic world be
cause "we have imposed as a
first rule that of imitation, on
you who are creators, vivacious
people and stimulatirs of a thou
sand ideas and of a thousand in
novations.”
The Pope said the demand for
imitation has placed "a leaden
cap” on the heads of artists and
he added, "Pardon us!” He said
artists have grown apart
because "we did not explain our
side to you, we have not led
you to the secret cell in which
the mysteries of God make
man’s heart dance with joy,
hope, happiness and rapture.”
The tendency to adhere to
traditional forms left the ar
tist "incapable of finding his
free voice,” the Pope said,
‘and we have felt the dissatis
faction with this form of artis
tic expression. And—we are
making a complete confession of
faults at least here—we have
treated you worse. We have
sought for Oleographs (imi
tation oil paintings) and works
of art of little artistic or real
value, perhaps because we have
not had the means of un
derstanding great things, beau
tiful things, new things, things
worthy of being seen, and we
have walked in chains—and it is
worse for us—to the point where
art and beauty and the worship
of God have been badly served.”
Instead of the distance
between the Church and art,
the Pope said that today "we
must return to being allies. We
must ask of you all the possi- 1
bilities which the Lord has given
you and it must be left up to
you to sing the free and power
ful song of which you are capa
ble.” Artists in turn can draw
from Church teachings the in
spiration they need as well as
the graces and the "gift of ton
gues” ("charism”) of art.
The Pope cited portions of the
Second Vatican Council’s Con
stitution on the Liturgy, which
make reference to the uses of
sacred art and music, and
which constitute a pact of
reconciliation and rebirth for
religious art in the bosom of the
Catholic Church.”
Pope Paul blessed the work of
the movement of the Artists’
Mass, calling it an "experiment
in the artistic life which has
already shown that between the
priest and the artist there is a
profound sympathy and a capa
city for marvelous agreement.”
On a practical level, the Pope
said the Christian artist needs
to be instructed in matters of
the Faith to know thoroughly
what he is working with. At the
same time, the artist also needs
technical instruction so as to be
worthy of his subjects. Lastly,
the Pope said the artist has need
of the indispensable charac
teristic of the religious mo
ment, that is sincerity,” so that
his work will be an expression
"from the depth of the soul.”
BLESSED SACRAMENT MAY CROWNING — The annual May procession at Blessed
Sacrament, Savannah, was held last Sunday. May Queen Ann Mulligan is surrounded by
Mary Ellen Persse, Sal Aliffi, Terry Shawe, Barbara Tirone, James Strickland, Janice
Magee, Duke Lamb and Rebecca Keating. (Ward Studios)
CD
oris
JEWELERS
913 BROAD STREET
AUGUSTA. GEORGIA
For Wedding Invitations
‘t' s
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PHONE 232 6397
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Q OUR LADY or THE HILLS |
CAMP
■ HENDERSONVILLE, N. C. ■
A Catholic camp for boys and girls ages
7 lo 16. 200 acres, 37 buildings in the)
Blue Ridge Mountains. Largo modern
pool, mountain lake, with all camping
activities guided by trained counselors.
Ideal accommodations for visiting par
ents. Camp provides pick-up service to
or from nearest rail, air, bus terminal.
A camp for youngsters to grow... spirit
ually, healthfully. For literature, write:
Winter Address:
OUR LADY OF THE HILLS CAMP
c/o St. Leo’s Church
335 Springdale Avenue
WINSTON-SALEM, N. C.