Newspaper Page Text
The Southern Cross, January 21, 1965—PAGE 5
FAMILY CLINIC
VIEWED WITH ALARM
by JOHN J. KANE, l*h, D.
Professor of Sociology
University of Notre Dame
Can a Catholic get a divorce?
I have decided to ask my hus
band to leave our home. After
15^^rs of marriage and seven
cl^^wn in eight years I am
worn out. My husband’s work
keeps him out of the home a
great deal because we have
severe financial problems. But
he drinks during the leisure
hours he has. He tries to step
but it only lasts at best two
weeks. Then he is back at it
again. I have thought of suicide
and only worry over what would
happen to the children prevents
it.
Margaret, your first problem
is yourself. Your present men
tal condition is a serious matter
and demands immediate atten
tion. You must put the thought
of suicide entirely out of your
mind. But telling you to do so
is meaningless. You should seek
professional help. I strongly ad
vise you to tell your physician
that you have or are thinking
of suicide. He can then advise
the necessary therapy.
I don’t know how often or
how deeply you have suicidal
thoughts. But this is an area in
which one does not take chanc
es. Eighty percent of persons
who commit suicide have either
threatened or attempted it. That
is why I urge you to act NOW.
TlM^)ld notion that people who
tl^Bm suicide never commit
it^^an old wives’ tale.
A large family, financial prob-
Conference
T o Study Lay
Missioners
CINCINNATI (NC) —Organiza
tions working with lay persons
engaged: in mission activity with
in the U.S. will join in a nation
al conference at Our Lady of
Cincinnati College here Jan. 29
to 31.
Among the speakers will be
Archbfshop Karl J. Alter of Cin
cinnati and Father Frederick A.
McGuire, C.M., of the Mission
Secretariat in Washington. Fa
ther McGuire will discuss ways
in which home mission organi
zations can work with a new
center for research and cooper
ation in the apostolate now be
ing planned in Washington.
Discussions will also center
on a possible new Home Mission
Secretariat that would coordi
nate lay mission activities and
channel volunteers to projects
in urban and rural America.
The governmental war on pov
erty, rural development and ur
ban renewal will also be ap
praised.
The conference committee is
headed by Father Joseph O’
Donnell of the Glenmary Home
Missioners.
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TONY ALIFFI, Owner
lems and a husband who drinks
excessively are by no means un
common problems in marriage.
But the fact that they are com
mon does not mean that they
can be viewed lightly.
Suicide, among those not men
tally ill, which, incidentally,
psychiatrists maintain includes
most suicides, it is an act of
despair. It does violence to the
virtue of hope. While only God
can judge the disposition of a
suicide at the moment of death,
the act in itself is morally
wrong. It may mean the loss of
eternal salvation. Bearing up
under the trials of life can reap
rewards in eternity.
Furthermore, suicide carries
with it a stigma. This stigma
will be borne by your children
and your husband. A furtive
whisper behind their backs, a
knowing nod and sometimes an
outright cutting remark about it
will be their lot. Surely, your
children are suffering enough
now. You do not want to add to
their problems by a selfish tem
poral escape.
Since your husband is at least
a problem drinker, your suicide
could tip the scales and send
him. into a true alcoholism. Who
can gain anything by this? Once
again the innocent, your chil
dren, will be the victims.
Matters are not quite so black
as you paint them. Your hus
band’s drinking seems to be at
once the result and partly the
cause of your financial probl
ems. Perhaps the money spent
on liquor, if saved, could ease
the economic problem.
Habit And
Nun Are
Not Same
ROME (NC) — To a reader
who expressed alarm at photos
of American nuns with ribbons
in their hair and short skirts,
the Vatican City weekly maga
zine asks: “Is it the habit, or
something deeper and within
that makes the nun?’’
The alarmed lady had writ
ten to a newspaper: “I have
seen in a magazine a picture of
some American nuns who have
taken off the veil and the long
skirt and now look like any oth
er young women.
“Is it possible that the world
has become such an awful place
that we have to see even nuns
going about looking like any
body else? Where is modesty,
reserve and respect?”
“The Church certainly will
not collapse because nuns short
en their skirts,” L’Osservatore
dealt Domenica replied (Jan.
17).
“It is understandable that
people who are conservative by
education, temperament, men
tality, find it difficult to accept
innovations, however modest.
But there should be a limit of
common sense and logic to all
our reactions.”
The Vatican City magazine
asked, “Why should there be a
different modesty, one for nuns
and the other for the rest of
women?”
Neutralism Result
Of Negotiations
Your husband does make ef
forts to give up drinking, al
though they are short lived. Try
to pershade him to seek help. I
doubt he will make it alone.
Ask him to see one of the par
ish priests or his physician. It
seems you have a lever which
can be used, since you are a-
bout to ask him to leave the
home.
The Catholic Church under
certain circumstances does per
mit limited divorce, i.e., a sep
aration from bed and board. But
the marital bond is not broken
and neither party may remarry
while the other spouse lives.
This is only done for grave rea
sons and requires ecclesiatical
permission.
This is a big step and should
not be undertaken lightly. Even
if we assume permission were
given, what are the probable
consequences? You are depen
dent upon him for financial sup
port. If there is now difficulty
maintaining one home, how
much more difficult to maintain
You admit you are worn out
physically. There is such a close
association between physical and
mental health that it is likely
your physical health is contrib
uting to your mental distress.
This is a medical matter and
must be handled by a physician.
In this respect you too help
create a problem no matter
how unwittingly. Certainly your
present attitudes may be harm
ing your children’s lives. They
may also increase your hus
band’s tensions and his conse
quent drinking.
There is one point in your let
ter, however, which may be
quite important in reaching a
solution of your present plight.
You mention your husband’s job
keeps him away from the fami
ly a great deal. Is it possible for
him to seek other employment?
Admittedly, this is not always
simple. He may have seniority
within a company, his skills
may be limited and other posi
tions unavailable. But some con
sideration ought to be given this
possibility. You do need him,
the children need him.
Dr. Kane will be unable to an
swer personally. However, he
welcomes your suggestions of
tonics that would particularly
interest you. Address Dr. Kane
in care of this newspaper.
(The following analysis of the
impact that discussions of the
Vietnamese situation in the U.S.
are having in Vietnam itself is
written by a reporter who has
been on the scene almost con
stantly since the republic of
South Vietnam was formed.)
by Father Patrick O’Connor
Society of St. Columban
(N.C.W.C. News Service)
SAIGON — Vietnamese, espe
cially Catholics, watch with ap
prehension while decisions are
being weighed and made by the
men who hold power in. Vietnam
and the U.S.
Catholics are particularly con
cerned because as a body they
have a greater horror of com
munist rule than any other sec
tion of the Vietnamese people.
They have proved this in the
refugee exodus from the north
10 years ago and in armed re
sistance.
A few of the Vietnamese gen
erals have caused anxiety by
jockeying for personal power
and by currying favor with two
highly suspect pressure groups.
These are the political Bud
dhists and the segment of stu
dents and secondary pupils di
rected by the ambitious bonzes.
These bonzes are trying to in
fluence governmental decisions
in Saigon and Washington by a
campaign of chronic discon
tent.
“We do not see that the Bud
dhists have any basic religious
issue with this government,” a
U.S. embassy spokesman said
a month ago. “Disorder and in
stability serve> Viet Cong (com
munist) interests at this point.”
American embassy represent
atives, however, are engaged in
frequent discussions with the
political bonzes. Some Vietna
mese feel that this adds pres
tige to the pretentions of men
who claim an unwarranted and
dangerous power of veto over
the government. Many unwar
ranted and dangerous power of
veto over the government. Many
doubt whether these -bonzes real
ly share a common ground of
RELIGIOUS
principles and objectives with
the U.S. embassy.
Meanwhile from the U.S. come
reports that gladden the Viet
Cong while they alarm anti
communist Vietnamese.
Talk of American withdrawal
and of “negotiation'' is reported
at a time when the only nego
tiation possible would lead to a
“neutralism” helpless before ob
vious communist ambitions.
The communist Viet Cong
cannot take South Vietnam by
outright military conquest. They
have made military gains—and
have suffered heavy losses, not
ably in well - trained officers.
They have grown stronger in
numbers, however, and in e-
quipment and are now sending
large units into pitched battles.
They control or effectively men
ace a great deal of territory.
But this is still a long way
from overcoming the whole
Vietnamese army and airforce.
The communists don’t seek to
overcome them, however. They
do seek to overcome public opin
ion in Vietnam and in the U-
nited States.
They did not overcome the
whole of the Franco-Vietnamese
army or even one-tenth of it at
Dien-Bien-Phu in 1954. But by
their victory at Dien-Bien-Phu
they overcame French public
opinion at the opportune time,
during the Geneva Conference.
Already the changes and un
certainties in government here,
with military haders stepnng
out of their sphere, have dis
heartened many in the U.S. as
in Vietnam.
The first links, however, in
this chain of instability were
forged by American as well as
Vietnamese hands, in 1963, to
the joy of the communists. The
blame should not rest on Viet
namese alone, and certainly not
on all Vietnamese.
A defeatist statement on Viet
nam now from a U.S. senator,
representative or commentator
is as good as a battle won to
the communist Viet Cong.
Vietnam Groups
Work For Unity
SAIGON (NC) — An interreli
gious committee joined repre
sentatives of the Armed Forces
Council here (Jan. 15) in pledg
ing to maintain national unity
against the communists and
protect religious freedom.
Two priests took part in the
meeting that produced the joint
declaration. They were Father
John Vo Van Vui, named by
Archbishop Paul Nguyen Van
Binh to the interreligious group,
and Father Paul Hoang Quynh,
president of the “Catholic Strug
gle Committee.”
Others taking part were Thich
(Venerable) Thien Minh, com
missioner for youth in the tur
bulent Buddhist Institute, and
two representatives each from
the Cao Dai and Hoa Hao sects.
Vietnamese A i r Force Gen.
Nguyen Cao Ky and four other
high officers represented the
Armed Forces Council.
REPRESENTING 7,000 SISTERS — Maj or superiors of the Religious Sisters of
Mercy of the Union in conference at St. Louis were, from left to right, Mother
Mary Maurita, province of Detroit; Mother Mary Bertrand, province of St. Louis;
Mother Mary Carlotta, province of Baltimore; Mother Mary Helena, province of
Providence; Mother Mary William Joseph, province of Scranton; Mother Mary
Regina, mother general; Mother Mary Charles, province of Omaha; Mother Ma
ry Regina, province of New York; Mother Mary Albert, province of Cincinnati; and
Mother Mary Huberta, province of Chicago.
REPRESENT 7,000 SISTERS
Mercy Superiors Discuss
Sisters’ Role In Future
Judging from the duration of
the day-long meeting, it seems
to have taken much discussion
to reach agreement on the five-
point declaration. It pledges
signers to strive for unity and
a democratic regime, to push
forward resistance to commun
ism, to oppose illegal demon
strations and support only legal
“forms of struggle”, and to
safeguard religious freedom.
The Buddhist representative
reportedy raised difficulties a-
gainst the clause barring illegal
demonstrations, but after much
argument he agreed to sign.
It was decided to establish an
army-civilian solidarity commit
tee within a week. This would
include three adherents of each
religion and five military mem
bers, one from each branch of
the service. The Catholic mem
bers will most probably be lay
men.
Mother Mary Regina, R.S.M.
presided at a St. Louis, Mo.
meeting of superiors of the Re
ligious Sisters of Mercy of the
Union in the United States.
Discussion and planning con
cerned such subjects as: theolo
gy of religious life; the increas
ed role of the Sisters of Mercy
with the hierarchy and the lai
ty; basic formation and continu
ing development of today’s re
ligious; religious government,
liturgy and the apostolate; and
possible forthcoming changes in
religious habit.
The attending mothers provin
cial along with the mother gen
eral represented some 7,000
Mercy Sisters in nine provinces
throughout the United States,
Central America, South Ameri
ca and the West Indies. They
own and .operate more hospitals
than any other religious com
munity in the Western Hemis
phere.
The opinions and deliberations
of this conference will form the
basis for provincial meetings in
June of this year leading to an
all important decision - making
national general meeting of su
periors to be held in Bethesda.
Maryland in August, 1965. Each
Sisters of Mercy province is now
in the process of establishing
various committees to research
and recommend many proposals
concurrent with contemporary
needs. The developments will
have far reaching effects on the
Sisters themselves, their many
hospitals, 430 elementary schools,
127 high schools, 10 colleges and
many other social institutions
including homes for child care
and homes for the aged.
Because the liturgy forms
such an important link between
the religious and her apostolate,
one of the main speakers at the
conference was the Reverend
William G. Heidt, O.S.B., direc
tor .of the Liturgical Press of
Collegeville, Minn.
In attendance were the fol
lowing superiors: Mother Mary
Regina Cunningham, R.S.M.,
mother general of the Religious
Sisters of Mercy of the Union,
Sisters of Mercy Generalate,
Bethesda, Washington, D. C.;
Mother Mary Bertrand, R.S.M.,
mother provincial, province of
St. Louis; Mother Mary Carlot
ta, R.S.M., mother provincial,
province of Baltimore.
Mother Mary Helena, R.S.M.,
province of Providence; Mother
Mary Maurita, R.S.M., mother
assistant provincial, represent-
- <v ‘ r iftitkx)f>ii(|. iDux.— -(til
ing Mother Mary Justine, R.S.M.,
mother provincial, province of
Detroit; Mother Mary William
Joseph, R.S.M., mother provin
cial, province of Scranton.
Mother Mary Charles, R.S.M..
mother provincial, province of
Omaha; Mother Mary Regina,
R.S.M., mother provincial, pro
vince of New York; Mother
Mary Albert, R.S.M., mother
provincial, province of Cincin
nati; and Mother Mary Huber
ta, R.S.M., mother provincial,
province of Chicago.,
mu to oin4H ru
INDIA: FATHER JOHN’S WORRY
YOU WONDER HOW LONG HE CAN SURVIVE. His weary
eyes, heavy with fatigue, tell you he asks nothing for himself.
Father John Vazhappily thinks only
of the poor to whom he gives his
life ... Pan-ganam-kad, with more
than 200 penniless families, is three
miles’ walk from the mosquito-
^ infested, thatched hut he calls his
==== & “rectory.” Late at night, when
called to care for the dying, Father
John trudges to Pan-ganam-kad in
rain, darkness, and unbearable heat,
carrying the Blessed Sacrament . . .
The Holy Father s Mission Ai The simple chapel the villagers gave
for the Oriental Chute their time and labor to construct In
Pan-ganam-kad is still unfinished:
It has flooring, no doors, no windows, and the Blessed Sacra
ment cannot be kept there. Father John needs help now to
finish the chapel ($1,500), and to build a permanent rectory
($2,000). With church and rectory in the village, he says, the
parishioners can have a full-time priest . . . Make Father John
your mission project in 1965? Write to us immediately. What
ever you send ($3,500, $2,000, $1,500, $5, $2) will help wipg
worry from his priestly eyes. You’ll be establishing for God a
permanent mission in India.
HOW TO TRAIN A SISTER
□ l-a-month ($12 a year) pays your membership dues in
MARY’S BANK, our sponsors’ club for training native Sisters
□ $3 supports a novice for about a week
□ $5 buys shoes for a Sister-to-be
□ $7.50 provides incidentals for one year
□ $10 is the cost of a Sister’s habit
□ $12.50 supports one Sister for a month
□ $150 supports one Sister for a yearv
□ $300 pays the entire cost of a Sister’s two-year training
WHEN YOU HELP THE MISSIONS, you help yourself.
Father, mother, sons and daughters—all benefit in the Masses
and prayers of our priests and Sisters when you enroll your
family in this Association. The offering for a family member
ship is only $5 a year, $100 for life. Enroll now, and we’ll send
you a certificate.
MAKING A NEW WILL IN ’65? The good you can do by
remembering the missions goes to your credit eternally.
OUR LEGAL TITLE:
CATHOLIC NEAR EAST WELFARE ASSOCIATION
Dear Monsignor Ryan:
Enclosed please find for
Name
Street
City State Zip Code#.
Jlnnatttb.
Over 40 Years of Dependable Courteous Service
SAVANNAH. GEORGIA
STUDENTS OF Cathedral School, Savannah, are
pictured as they presented a skit on “My Favorite
Things” at a recent meeting of the Home and School
Association. * (Ward Studio Photo)
FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN, President
Migr. Joseph T. Ryan, Nat’l Sec'y
Send all communications to:
CATHOLIC NEAR EAST WELFARE ASSOCIATION
330 Madison Ave, at 42^1 St. Newi York, N. Y. 10017 .