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I
FAMILY CLINIC
IN YUGOSLAVIA
III
#:
By JOHN J KANE, Ph.D.
Professor of Sociology
University of Notre Dame
Pm a 22 year old wife, mar
ried three years with two beau
tiful daughters. Shortly after
marriage I found a number of
b lthy pictures and dirty letters
om former girl friends written
o my husband. I asked him to
destroy them. He said, “No!”
So I did. The other day I found
more, some so disgusting I felt
sick. Why does my husband want
such pictures? Why does he claim
they are not dirty? Ami at fault?
Should I get a separation?
At the outset, Doris, let me
explain some of the differences
in sex stimuli between men and
women. Men, unfortunately, are
erotically aroused by this type
of picture and letter. Women,
for the most part, are not. There
is a wholesale market in por
nography in the United States
today. If it weren’t profitable,
it wouldn’t exist. Th4 only pos
sible conclusion is that a large
number of customers are avail
able.
Morally, of course, such pic
tures and literature are an occa
sion of sin. They probably prove
most dangerous to adolescents
who usually experience enough
difficulty controlling their sex
drives as it is. Additional arou
sal through pornography is quite
^rious.
The fact that ytmr husband, a
married man in his 20’s, seems
to require such stimulation tells
a great deal about him. There are
many aberrations in human sex
life. One of them is addiction
to pornography, and I fear your
husband shows indications of it.
His claim that such pictures
and letters are not “dirty” is
merely a rationalization. But it
does indicate that he feels some
sense of wrong doing in possess
ing them, so he gives a plausible
rather than the real explanation
for holding on to them.
Your husband is sick. He is
immature and I doubt that any
thing short of professional help
will cure him.
You will have to determine
which of the following approaches
is most likely to work, and I
grant, none of them will be easy.
If you have a family physician
with whom your husband has
good relationships, you might
start there. The doctor can de
cide whether or not referral to
a psychiatrist is necessary, pro
viding your husband will con
sult him.
You may prefer to go to your
pastor or a parish priest and ask
him to discuss the matter with
your husband or either suggest
that he might refer your hus
band to Catholic Social Ser
vice in your city. A trained
psychiatric social worker may
prove quite helpful.
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Since your husband is ill, he
merits both sympathy and under
standing. I still maintain this
despite the disgusting nature of
the pictures you found. He is
quite young and the chances his
attitudes are good. It would seem
his addiction to pornography is
not new. Perhaps it extends way
back into his adolescence. So
don’t expect a sudden change.
At this point please forget a-
bout a separation. When one mar
ries, he and she do so “in sick
ness and in health”. Try to re
member that your husband’s ill
ness is just as real as though
it were tuberculosis or cancer.
In some respects is not only
just as real, but even more
serious.
There are a few other con
siderations I recommend to you
Who are your husband’s friends?
Is pornography one of their hob
bies? When does he obtain these
pictures and what use does he
make of them? If you can dis
cover the answer to these ques
tions without asking him, it may
help the professional advisor,
who will undoubtedly seek to learn
the same things.
At the present time, I sense
that you and he cannot enter into
any type of objective discussion
about the matter. But try to pre
vent a complete breakdown of
communication between you. So
long as you do speak to each other
and try to behave as husband and
wife, the problem has great pos
sibilities of solution.
Of course, if your husband
absolutely refuses to do anything
for, himself, then you will have
to take the matter up with a
priest. Possession of porno
graphy is illegal. He could even
become involved with the law.
But try the gentle art of per
suasion in getting him to seek
help. Only if and when you are
sincerely convinced he will not
do so, should further steps be
considered.
Doctor Kane will be unable
to answer personally. However,
he welcomes your suggestions
of topics that would particularly
interest you. Address Dr. Kane
in care of this newspaper.
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National Farm
Run By
By Patrick Riley
(N.C.W.C. News Service)
LJUBLJANA, Yugoslavia —
The directress of the state pig
farm at Repnje in the valley of
the Sava is a handsome woman
of 50 who wears a babushka over
her silver hair and the oversize
sweater, heavy skirt and stout
shoes of the local peasant women.
On feast days she may put on
the Franciscan habit of the School
Sisters of Christ the King, as
may the 35 Sisters of her con
vent. Otherwise they all will
wear the mufti they donned when
the communists, in the first flush
of power, occupied the convent of
Slovenia. Although there is no
law against wearing the religious
habit, the nuns still find it easier
to do without it.
For years the Sisters ran a
school in their convent at Repnje,
about 10 miles north of this
capital of Slovenia. But now all
education is in the hands of the
state. The School Sisters of
Christ the King were able to keep
their convent at Repnje as a
home for retired nuns.
For a while the Sisters work
ed the land of their farm, but
now they have rented it to the
state and only do some of the
lighter work on the land itself.
Local people do the heavier work
and are paid by the state. The
Sisters who work are also em
ployes of the state.
Besides managing the pig farm,
the Sisters also manage a veteri
nary experimentation center on
the same property. The center
TWO NUNS of the convent for retired School Sisters
of Christ the King. Some of the younger Sisters work
at the livestock farm and veterinary experimental sta
tion on the convent farm, which they have rented to
the state. The nun at left is wearing her religious
habit because the Archbishop of Ljubljana was ex
pected to make a visitation. (NC Photos)
Thomasville P. C. C. W.
Officers for the coming year were installed at the May meeting
of the Parish Council of St. Augustine’s, Thomasville. Officers
are: Mrs. Charles Dewell, president; Mrs. H.C. Morgan, vice-
president; Mrs. Oliver Wolfe, Secretary; Mrs. Eugene Laabs,
treasurer. A Mother’s Day Bake Sale was held under the direc
tion of Mrs. Charles Dewell.
Albany Home & School
Travis L. Lynch of the Macon division of the Federal Bureau of
Investigation was the speaker at the May meeting of St. Teresa’s
Home and School Association. He stressed the parent’s respon-'
sibility in checking the increased crime rate among children under
18 years of age. Father LeFrois gave a brief report on the recent
meeting of the school board.
St. James P. C. C. W.
Mr. John Courtenay, Executive Director of the U S.O , was
the guest speaker at the May meeting of St. James Home and
School Association. The president thanked all those who responded
by making sandwiches and baked goods for the U.S.O The June
meeting will be a dinner meeting at the Downtowner Motor Lodge.
Reservations can be made by contacting Mrs. L V. Russell.
Catholic Woman’s Club
Mrs. Julia Mitchelson has been named president of the Catholic
Woman’s Club of Savannah. Other officers are; First Vice-Presi
dent, Mrs. Bernard J. Taylor; Second Vice-President, Mrs. F.B.
Elmore; Third Vice-President, Miss Margaret Murden; Record-,
ing Secretary, Mrs. Elizabeth Stradtman; Corresponding Secre
tary, Mrs. Catherine Clifton and Treasurer, Mrs. Cecilia Neary.
Sacred Heart Sodality
Newly elected officers of the Junior Sodality of the Blessed
Mother of Sacred Heart Parish are: Prefect, Billy Brennan; Mi-
chell Ravita, vice-prefect; Mary Grady, secretary and Betty Brad
ley, treasurer. Members of the Sodality assisted at a special
sodality Mass each First Saturday, followed by breakfast and
meeting The past year’s projects included baskets for the poor
at Thanksgiving and Christmas; a donation towards the new car
pet in the sanctuary; a donation to a poor missionary’s appeal
and the adopting of Pagan babies.
Sisters
specializes in calf nutrition, and
the technicians who determine the
various experimental diets value
the scrupulosity of the Sisters in “
feeding the calves exactly as pre
scribed. One technician remark
ed that his confidence in the Sis
ters gives him much more con
fidence in the reliability of his
experiments. He can be sure that
all his data are exact.
The convent itself is a baro
que built by the Jesuits whenSlo-
venia was part of the Austrian
Empire. It stands on a slight
rise overlooking the long, broad
valley hemmed in on either side
by low, pine-carpeted hills and
dominated from the northern
end by the last icy bastions of
the Alps.
Although the outside of the
convent is in bad need of re
painting, the rooms are scrupu
lously clean and their walls
freshly papered. The refectory is
so tiny the nuns must sit elbow
to elbow. Their fare is simple
but sustaining. From the refec
tory walls, photographs of pre
sent and former superiors gene
ral of the School Sisters of Christ
the King look down on their
silent daughters now clad in
mufti.
Among the Sisters are five
young nuns who have completed
their novitiate outside belgrade
and npw are completing their
academic education at a state
school near the convent. They
dress like their schoolmates,
and when they work about the
farm of an afternoon they are
indistinguishable from the other
fresh-faced farm girls of the
hamlet of Repnje.
The Southern Cross, May 20, 1965—PAGE 5
First Communion Class Immaculate Conception Parish, Dublin.
IN COLOMBIA
Catholics Are Divided
On Freedom Of Religion
BOGOTA, Colombia (NC)—
“What will religious freedom
bring to Colombia?”
Younger Colombians say a
stronger, more vital Catholi
cism, Older Colombians say an
overwhelming indifferentism, a
loss of faith.
Speaking for the former, Fath
er Alberto Munera, S. J., said that
“before the ecumenical council
freedom of worship was not only
ignored by the majority of Co
lombians, it was systematically
attacked with typical Latin pas
sion. That it is now neither
ignored nor attacked is one of
the most manifest evidences of
ecumenism in Colombia.”
When Pope Paul VI decided
to postpone voting on this im
portant issue at the end of
the third council session last
year, many older Colombians
felt that it was so Catholic
countries, like Colombia, would
have time to prepare solutions
to the unavoidable problems
which religious freedom would
create. To understand why they
talk of “problems,” the Colom
bian notions of “Catholic
country” and “freedom of wor
ship” need to be clarified.
A Catholic country is some
thing more than a country in
which the vast majority of its
citizens profess Catholicism. It
is a country steeped in religious
tradition, so much so that these
traditions are considered the
common way of life.
Holy Week observances are
an example of the meaning of
this tradition. From Wednesday
until Sunday, no one works. Radio
and television play only classical
music and present religious pro
grams. Priests hear confessions
throughout the day and long into
the night. Religious processions
make their way through all sec
tions of the city. Church steeples
adorned with loudspeakers send
Holy Week services across the
plazas and into the homes.
What then does “freedom of
worship” mean to Colombians?
Many think that the non-Catholic
in Colombia cannot now prac
tice his religion. That is not
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true. The Colombian Constitution
guarantees that “no one will be
troubled because of his religious
opinions, nor forced by authori
ties to profess any creed or to
observe any practices against
his conscience. All worship that
is not opposed to Christian ethics
or laws is allowed.” This is the
freedom of worship Colombians
accept.
Several incidents concerned
with an emotional response to
proselytism coincided with the
outbreak of the undeclared civil
war between Colombia’s two po
litical parties. What came to be
known as “the violence” result
ed in horrifying and inhuman
crimes. But these crimes com
mitted by “guerrilleros” in the
Colombian backlands were not
“religious persecutions.” They
were political atrocities. The
Evangelical Confederation of Co
lombia has stated that 80 Pro
testants were killed during this
“persecution.” But over 99% of
those killed were Catholics.
These unpleasant memories
make the Colombian position in
regard to religious freedom
clearer. What has previously
been the Colombian religious sit
uation will certainly change once
the council has spoken on this
matter. What Catholics are now
asking is whether this will mean
that the Church will sacrifice
Colombia’s faith for the free
dom of worship.
INDIA:
SCHOOI
A SHED
IN
THE HOLY FATHER'S MISSION AID TO THE ORIENTAL CHURCH
Thottakadu is a woeful village in southern
India. Catholics there are in the vast minority.
The Most Reverend Mathew Kavukatt, Arch-
PARENTS bishop of Changanacherry warns of the con-
PLEAD stant peril to the faith of the children. The
FOR parents want their children to have a Catholic
A CATHOLIC . education, “to have the Sisters teach them."
EDUCATION . . . Nine years ago the Clarist Sisters came to
FOR Thottakadu and opened a temporary school
THEIR in a shed. Imagine the joy! Now all might be
CHILDREN, lost. The local authorities insist that a per
manent school building be constructed within
six months or the government subsidy will be
cut-off. The people of Thottakadu are poor—
their income hardly adequate for food and
necessities. The Sisters depend on the gov
ernment subsidy — although small — to help
operate the school. ■
SB
nr
The Superior of the Clarists, Sister Matilda,
writes that she has plans for a permanent
SISTER school building measuring 150 feet by 20
MATILDA feet. $4100 is the cost estimate Sister has
HAS received. Build it all yourself, and name it
PLANS ... for your favorite saint, in memory of your
LOOKS loved ones. Your $100, $50, $35, $20, $10,
FOR HELP. $5, $1, whatever you can afford, will help
Sister buy desks, chairs, books, pencils. Help
keep Christ in Thottakadu.
S fc ’ -
nr
Making a new will? The good you can do by
GOOD WILL remembering the missions goes to your credit
PROGRAM eternally. Our legal title:
Catholic Near East Welfare Association
4*
Your $10 gift enables us to feed a Palestine
FOOD refugee family for a month. In thanks, we’ll
ECONOMY send you an Olive Wood Rosary from the Holy
Land.
Dear enclosed please find $
Monsignor Ryan:
FOR
Please name
return coupon
with your street —
offering
CITY STATE ZIP CODE_,
THE CATHOLIC NEAR EAST WELFARE ASSOCIATION
=
"
NEAR EAST
==
MISSIONS
lj§
FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN, President
MSGR. JOSEPH T. RYAN, National Secretary
1saafe g
Write: Catholic Near East Welfare Assoc.
330 Madison Avenue • New York, N.Y. 10017
Telephone: 212/YUkon 6-5840