Newspaper Page Text
The Southern Cross, July 1, 1965^—PAGE 5
FAMILY CLINIC
By JOHN J. KANE, Ph.D.
Professor of Sociology
University of Notre Dame
Please answer this before I
lose my mind. I have been mar
ried 25 years to the most won-
• ll man in the world. Fifteen
s ago he accused me of
having an affair with one of our
best friend’s husband. It nearly
killed me. This man and no other
has ever looked at me twice. This
has become an obsession with
him and is ruining both our lives.
Should I go to them and mar
their happiness with this story.
Shall I take a priest along? The
things he said last week hurt
deeply. I cannot take it any long
er.
* * *
Your letter to me is quite
inconsistent. How can your hus
band be “the most wonderful
man in the world” and treat
you the way he has done for 15
years? Even if it were true
that you were unfaithful, he should
have done something about it when
he thought it occurred or he
should have long since forgotten
and forgiven. He has done neither.
Two possibilities immediately
strike me about your problem.
First, your husband is being
cruel. He employs this accusa
tion as an ax over your head
in order to manipulate you. By
ating this charge he keeps
in a subservient position, on
the defensive, so that he may do
pretty much as he pleases. If
so, you must bring it to a head,
if after fifteen years, this is
possible. If not, your own men
tal and emotional condition will
certainly worsen and your open
ing statement that you may lose
your mind i s no exaggeration.
is a mental illness known as
paranoia.
Paranoia is a condition in which
the individual has delusions of
grandeur or of persecution. Oddly
enough, such persons may seem
to be otherwise highly logical.
I realize how delicate this
matter is and how much you
must dread going to someone
else with the problem. But at
this point you have no choice.
You owe it not only to yourself
but also to your husband.
Since you have maintained
over all these years that the
statement is untrue, I rather
doubt the feasibility of going
to the couple for support. You
will disturb them needlessly and
no doubt fruitlessly. What reason
can you have for thinking your
husband would believe this man?
As a matter of fact, he would
probably conclude the man was
telling a lie when he denied it
for his own protection.' v
The second possibility is even
more serious but probably more
likely. Your husband is mentally
ill. Since I am not a psychiatrist,
I hesitate to throw psychiatric
terms around loosely, but there
Just how to proceed will have
to be your own decision. I will
make certain recommendations
and perhaps one of them will
prove acceptable to you.
Since it may be a medical
problem, the logical person to
consult is your family physician.
Take your courage in hand and go
to him. Explain the situation in
detail »and emphasize the .fact
that the accusation is now 15
years old but is still being
brought up again and again. If
he has treated your husband,
he may already have noted cer
tain quirks in his attitudes and
behavior. This is really the most
direct approach.
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Of aourse, even if the physi
cian suspects an emotional dis
order, there is the problem of
getting your husband to him. Many
possibilities exist such as an
annual check up, or persuading
him to accompany you for some
medical problem you have. This
will offer the doctor a chance
to talk with him.
If you have no family physician,
the matter is more difficult. You
can call the County medical
society and ask for the names
of some general practitioners
in the qity. Select one and con
sult hin^.
If neither of these approaches
appeals to you, then you could
discuss the problem with one of
the parijsh priests. Since you have
already indicated the possibility
you would ask a «priest to ac
company you if you visited the
couple in question, this may make
it easier. But, since the priest
is not likely to be a psychiatrist’,
£ou add another step in the chain
of events.
The third possibility is to con
sult a marriage counselor. Per
haps a parish priest can recom
mend one or, if you prefer,
go directly to the Cathoic Social
Service. They have trained case
workers who will certainly be
able to evaluate the matter and
make a referral to a physician.
Please don’t be frightened by
the idea of mental illness. Our
society is filled with old wives’
tales about such illness and none
of them are true. Neither will
this become public knowledge. All
of the persons whom I mentioned
as possible advisors are profes
sionals bound to secrecy.
* * * * * *
Doctor Kane will be unable
to answer personally. However,
he welcomes your suggestions
of topics that would particularly
Interest you. Address Dr. Kane
in care of this newspaper.
For Wedding Invitations
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DAY OR NIGHT
Editor:
Will you please advise me
where I may find a Legion of
Decency listing that has all
movies classified, and is up to
date?
The last Southern C ross edition
to carry a listing was April 29,
1965, and even then it was not
up to date with the movies showing
here.
It’s really a frustrating sit
uation. I, with my family, stood
up in Church and pledged not to
support movies which the Legion
of Decency did not recommend
for us. We need an up to date list
ing, we want one, and would abide
by one. But we do not have one,
and do not know where to get it.
We want a really complete list
ing, and one that is current.
Can you advise me?
Thank you.
Mrs. S. J. Leaf
Macon
(Ed. Note: Latest listing ap
pears on page 2. Legion of De
cency listings are available,
twice monthly, from the Legion
of Decency, 453 Madison Avenue,
New York, N.Y. 10022. Subscrip
tion price is $5 per year).
E ditor:
In answer to the gentleman’s
letter in the June 17th issue of
The Southern Cross with re
ference to the unkempt condition
of Savannah’s Catholic Cemetery,
I would like to make a few com
ments.
A great amount of time and
John R. Myers of Augusta has
been named First District De
puty of the Knights of Columbus,
by State Deputy Gerald B. Gard
ner of Brunswick. He succeeds
Daniel J. Keane of Savannah.
Myers, who is a native of
Indianapolis, Indiana, has been
a resident of Augusta since 1951.
A member of Patrick Walsh
Council #677, he has served in
various offices and is a former
Grand Knight of that Council.
Employed by the Department
of the Army, Myers, is an Edu
cation Specialist at Fort Gordon.
He is married to the former
Miss Mary Ann Knuck of North
Augusta. They and their five
children ajre members of St.
Mary’s on the Hill, Augusta.
energy must be expended to trim
around fences and copings. This
takes personal attention. I would
suggest that those who have a lot
there, take a personal interest
by leading a hand. If everyone
were to put their lot under per
petual care, then the cemetery
could be uniform.
The crew at the cemetery is
small in size and when there
are a few days of rain, the
grass seems to grow overnight.
This is not the time to com
plain, but to exercise a little
patience and wait for the mower
to hit all spots before voicing
opinions. Trimming around
tombstones, trees, statues, etc.
is not a hit or miss proposition,
but a time consuming operation.
Is anyone around to help when
there is a hard rain, thunder
storm or hurricane? Branches,
moss and broken limbs are scat
tered all over the graves, and
the cemetery is really a mess.
I think that the caretaker and
his crew do a wonderful job get
ting it back into shape so that
the public will not have to view
this debris.
Name Withheld
Letters to the Editor must
bear the signature and address
of the sender but names will be
withheld upon request. The
Southern Cross reserves the
right to edit all letters within
context.
Dear Father Coleman;
I felt so much resentment to
ward you and the Church for
that article you wrote in “The
Deputy
JOHN R. MYERS
Southern Cross” entitled “On
Maids.” All that you said is
true, but the attitude of the Church
toward its financial treatment of
the nuns who teach in our paro
chial schools is worse.
How much salary do you figure
these ladies (many of whom have
degrees) receive for the untold
hours they spend teaching thirty
or more squirming and inatten
tive pupils five days a week, not
to mention the time spent cor
recting papers, preparing
classes, or taking abuse from ir
ate mothers (usually about the
most offensive child in the class)?
Their wages, as you mention
in your article, are those of
slaves. You also said:
#1 “Nobody else would hire
them.” Granted that is true, is
that why the Church (at least
the pastors) feels justified in
setting these (Nuns’) salaries
so low?
#2 “You say you can’t afford
it. ” Pastors do anything they want
to improve their buildings.
#3 These nuns are “God’s
dearest beloved children...”
Well, they are not treated that
way. How many movies or days
of pleasure can they enjoy on
the pittance you pay? Priests
have nice cars, get good vaca
tions, and often live in pleasant
heated homes much better than
those of their parishioners. The
nuns, on the other hand, work
just as hard and with more an
noyance, and get almost nothing.
I pay my fine maid $25 a week
with a fully paid vacation, plus
the bus fare to her home in
Atlanta. I wish I could pay more.
I hope that you will not be
offended, Father, since I know
that you are following orders,
orders from Superiors who un
fortunately have much to learn
about justice to the women of
the Church.
Sincerely,
Stella Strous
Savannah
Editor:
I would appreciate it if you
would inform your readers that
the lack of grammatical unity
In the first paragraph of my
letter deploring the condition
of the Catholic Cemetery (June
17) was the result of your having
edited same.
One more thing, Father Cole
man in his article on “Maids”
did not specify the prevailing
rate for domestics, which is
50 cents hourly plus one meal
and carfare. I have checked two
local Catholic institutions and
was informed that in one in
stance the rate for similar type
employment is approximately the
same and in the other instance
slightly less. Then I looked up
the word “penury” in the
dictionary.
SUCCEEDS KEANE
Myers New K.C.
District
Enter West Point
Two 1965 graduates of Pacelli High School, Columbus, have
received appointments to the U.S. Military Academy at West Point,
New York. They are: Walter M. Mischler, T8, son of Capt. and
Mrs. Paul B. Mischler; and John Allen Guernsey, 17, son of Lt.
Col. and Mrs. Louis H. Guernsey, and a 1965 National Merit Scholar.
Both Mischler and Guernsey were scheduled to enter the Academy
on July 1.
K.C. Chaplain Named
The Rev. Lawrence Lucree, assistant rector of the Cathedral,
has been named cnaplain of Savannah Council #631, Knights oi
Columbus. The announcement was made by Daniel J. Keane,
Grand Knight.
Columbus Breakfast
A Communion Breakfast was held recently by the Ladies’ Ro
sary Sodality, Our Lady of Lourdes, Columbus. The occasion
honored those children who received First Communion privately
with their families during this school year.
Brunswick Officers
Officers for the year were elected at the regular monthly meeting
of St. Francis Xavier Parish Council held Wednesday evening, June
16th. The new officers are: Mrs. John Cox, Pres, (re-elected);
Mrs. Joseph Berone, Vice Pres.; Mrs. George Loughlin, Sec,;
and Miss Eleanor Brown, Treas. Committee chairmen are; Miss
Lillian Meyer, Organization and Development; Mrs. Charles Van
Gilder, Catholic Charities, Mrs. Camille Penders, Library-Litera
ture -Ii^ernational Relation s; Mrs. Joseph Evans, Foreign Relations;
Mrs. Elizabeth Goodyear Spiritual Development; Mrs. J. Armand
Lloyd, Sanctuary and Sacristy; Mrs. Charles George, Flowers;
Mrs. Marie Byrne, Telephone; Mrs . Thomas Pace, Hospitality;
Mrs. Mary Therese Martin, Corresponding Sec.; Mrs. Joseph
Berone, Program; and Mrs. J. Armand Lloyd, Public Relations.
Very truly yours,
Thomas A. Nelligan
Savannah
(Ed. Note; Through a typesetter’s
error areferencebyMr. Nelligan
to the absence of a cemetery gate
was omitted.)
PHILIP BATASTINI
TAILORS —CLEANERS
407 - 12th ST. FA 2-5900
COLUMBUS
DORIS
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JEWELERS
913 BROAD STREET
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA
GLASSES ARTIFICAL EYES
CONTACT LENS
Hodge Optical Co.
151 Bull Street
Phone AD 4-6696
MASON
INC.
AD 2-41?2
18-20 W. BRYAN ST.
•Printing
•Office Supplies
•Office Furniture
•Ditto Duplicating
Machines and Supplies
NEW OFFICERS—(1. to r.) Mrs. Harry Butler, Treas
urer; Mrs. Micholas S. Kenny (Proxy for Mrs. John.
Buckley, Secretary) Mrs. Joseph M. McDonough, Vice
President; Mrs. Philip Roach, President; Dan J. Keane,
Installing Officer.
COUNCIL 631
K.C. Auxiliary
Names Officers
The Knights Auxiliary of Sa
vannah Council 631 Officers for
the year 1965-66 were installed
by District Deputy Dan J. Keane
at a banquet held Sunday, June
20th at the Knights of Colum
bus Hall.
The Officers are; Mrs. Philip
Roach, President; Mrs. Joseph
M. McDonough, Vice President;
Mrs. John Buckley, Secretary;
and Mrs. Harry Butler, Trea
surer.
Mrs. Nicholas S. Kenny
served as chairman of the
committee and presided at the
banquet in the absence of the
out-going president, Mrs. Lau
rence M. Dunn. Mrs. John Cat-
erisan was co-chairman and they
were assisted by Mrs. John
Graves and Mrs. Frank Wil
liams. Chris E. Hernandez,
Chairman of K. of C. Rentals,
catered the delicious dinner.
Nicholas S. Kenny, Grand Knight
Thomas F. Walsh, State Warden
Elect Karl A. Holmen and Grand
Knight Elect Dan J. Keane
The following members will
serve on committees for the fol
lowing year;
Hospitality: Mrs. Frank H.
Williams, chairman, assisted by
Mrs. Peter Schuster, Mrs. John
Caterisan, Mrs. Nicholas S. Ken
ny; Entertainment; Mrs. John
Shearouse and Mrs. Richard Lee,
Co-Chairman; Membership:
Mrs. John Graves, chairman, and
Mrs. Eugene Powers; Publicity:
Mrs. Vestus J. Ryan assisted
by Mrs. Nicholas S. Kenny; Sick
and Telephone: Mrs. Joseph Krat-
zer and Mrs. Wm. O. Mangan,
Jr., Co-Chairman; Finance: Mrs.
Robert F. Ryan, chairman, Mrs.
Wm. D. McAlpin andMrs. Arthur
Kearney.
Monsignor Andrew J. Mc
Donald was the guest speaker
for the evening. Other guests
included Worthy State Advocate
Meetings of the Auxiliary have
discontinued for the summer
months. The first meeting of the
year will be September 24th.
INDIA:
MEET
YOUR
PARTNERS
THE HOLY FATHER'S MISSION AID TO THE ORIENTAL CHURCH
Barefooted, at times ankle-deep in mud, the
Franciscan Sisters in Mangalam, south India,
walk twelve miles to get to Mass each morning.
The reason? The nearest chapel (and the near
est priest) is six miles away. . . . "Without
Jesus, what is a Sister's life?”, Sister Damiana
quietly asks. . . . For more than a year now the
HAND Franciscan Sisters have been teaching grown-
1N ups as well as children in this backward, out-
HAND of-the-way village. "If we can build a chapel for
WITH these people, within the next few months, we
NATIVE can accomplish great things for God,” says
SISTERS Sister Damiana. . . . The Sisters look.for “part
ners" in this country—men and women who
will share the work by providing the tools and
building materials. The Sisters, who receive no
income, have no money, of course. . . . Build
the chapel in memory of your loved ones, in
honor of your favorite saint? In Mangalam a
chapel large enough for Sisters and people will
cost only $3,200. . . . Write to us immediately,
and send as much as you can ($100, $75, $50,
$25, $20, $15, $10, $5, $2, $1). Hand in hand
with the Sisters, you'll know you are doing
something permanent for God.
The Catholic Near East Welfare Association
helps priests, Sisters, and laity in 18 develop
ing countries where Catholics, though few, are
mostly Catholics of the Eastern Rites. It's a far-
flung mission world—and we’re holding it by
a shoestring.
WORLD □ $ 2—Buys a blanket for an infant.
ON A □ $ 3—One week's care for an orphan in
SHOESTRING Bethlehem.
□ $ 5—New shoes for a Sister in India.
□ $10—Feeds a Palestine refugee family.
□ $40—Buys a chalice for a mission church.
□ $75—Gives a medical kit to a mission Sister.
Our legal title is Catholic Near East Welfare
Association. Missionary priests, who usually re-
MEMO ceive no other income, are pleased to offer
TO promptly the Masses your clients may request.
LAWYERS A "Stringless” bequest is used for mission
emergencies at the time of its receipt. Please
tell your clients.
Dear enclosed please find $ -
Monsignor Ryan:
FOR
Please name —
return coupon
with your street .
offering
CITY STATE ZIP CODE -
THE CATHOLIC NEAR EAST WELFARE ASSOCIATION
NEAR EAST
MISSIONS
FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN, President
MSGR. JOSEPH T. RYAN, National Secretary
Write: Catholic Near East Welfare Assoc.
330 Madison Avenue*New York, N.Y. 10017
Telephone: 212/YUkon 6-5840