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The Southern Cross, October 7, 1965—PAGE 5
FAMILY CLINIC
By JOHN J. KANE, Ph.D.
Professor of Sociology
University of Notre Dame
My husband made out our
wills. We have no children
and he is leaving everything
to his niece and two nephews.
He maintains these are blood
relatives of his. On the other
hand, he will not permit me
to leave anything to my two
nephews because he says they
are not related to him by
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blood. My husband is obsti
nate and I tried to discuss
the matter, but he ranted and
raved and shouted so I let
it drop. He claims he made
the money and everything we
have should go to his side.
But I also earned money and
put the down payment on the
home. Is it wrong for me to
want to remember my rela
tives?
***************
Mary, I am not a lawyer
and it may be that I am
completely wrong. However,
I simply cannot understand
how your husband could make
out your will. He may have
drawn it up himself, but un
less you signed it in the pre
sence of witnesses, it would
probably not hold up in court.
Apparently, you did.
Furthermore, I have to as
sume that his will must be
something to the effect that
you will inherit all the money
during you lifetime and then
it will pass on to his niece
and nephews. In many states,
it is impossible for him to
do this. The widow may con
test such a will and in some
states a certain percentage of
the money and property will
go to her regardless of the
will. Again, this is a legal
matter and I do not feel cer
tain, but if he should die be
fore you, perhaps it is pos
sible for you to make out a
new will regardless of what
he provided.
I think your husband is being
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years
quite unfair about the distri
bution of the money and pro
perty which you really jointly
own. Even if you are not em
ployed outside the home for
any considerable period of
time, you made economic con
tributions as a housekeeper
and wife. It seems a down
right silly contention, that
since he worked, the money is
entirely his. Even the law
does not recognize that.
He does seem obessed with
his notion of blood relation
ship. If he considers his niece
and nephews blood relatives
of his, then he ought to agree
that your nephews are blood
relatives of yours. Certainly
you have as much right in
disposing of the estate as
he.
No matter how much he
ranted, raved, and shouted,
you should have stood firm.
You have allowed your hus
band to bully you into doing
something which you feel is
wrong. You are not going to
help matters by succumbing
every time he starts to shout.
Indeed, if you have done this
throughout your married life,
you have my deepest sym
pathy. You must have lived
with a tyrant.
But I think it is time that
you took a firmer stand. I
would begin by attempting to
discuss the matter with him.
In view of what you have
written, I am not very san
guine about your success in
this undertaking. Neverthe
less, it ought to be tried.
Try to be as charitable as
possible in your discussion
with him, but also remain
firm.
What I really think would
help most would be the in
troduction of a third party.
Try to find someone who has
influence on him. It may be
one of the parish priests, it
may be a social worker in the
Catholic Social Service, or
a relative or friend. Although
I do hesitate to bring in either
a relative or friend.
The best thing that you can
do is to consult an attorney
on your own, show him a copy
of the will, and explain all
the facts to him. He will be
able to inform you of your
legal rights and there may
even be the question of whether
or not you were forced to sign
the will under duress. Once
you learn just what your legal
rights are, then I would have
your attorney get in touch
with him and his attorney if
he had one. His blustering may
suddenly cease when he learns
the legal facts of life.
There is something very
sad about your husband’s en
tire attitude. Unfortunately, it
is shared by a number of hus
bands. He apparently doesn’t
realize that the day of the
patriarch has long since
passed. He seems to believe
the only economic contribution
that an individual makes is
the earning of money. Why
don’t you ask him just how
much he would have had to pay
for the many services that you
have provided over the years?
You have been a faithful
companion, no doubt a nurse
in times of illness, a cook, the
housecleaner, in a word a
good wife. How can one evalu
ate these services in terms of
money? It is absolutely im
possible. Yet, because it is
impossible, many men never
take them into consideration.
m NEW ORLEANS
Bishop-Elect
P erry Foresees
No Difficulties
ROME (NC)—The first na
tive American Negro bishop
in modern times told news
men in Rome he could see no
problems arising in the New
Orleans area as a result of
his appointment as auxiliary
bishop there.
among the 800,000 Negroes
living in American? Arch
bishop Cody said it was “in
the nature of things,’’ allud
ing to the violence of pre
judice in many quarters and
the long years of struggle
by Negroes for equal rights.
Bishop -elect Harold R.
Perry, S.V.D., met with re
porters (Oct. 2) on the morn
ing his appointment was an
nounced in Vatican City and
in Washington.
Joining him at a press con
ference at Rome’s Chicago
House, a residence for Chi
cago clerical students, were
Archbishop John P. Cody of
Chicago and Archbishop Phil
ip M. Hannan who will suc
ceed Archbishop Cody as
archbishop of New Orleans.
BISHOP-ELECT
HAROLD R. PERRY
Bishop-elect Perry said he
was aware that “this signal
appointment will have a mean
ingful impact and a special
significance for many people
in various sections of the
United States who have await
ed this appointment.
“It is my resolve to lift
their hopes for a new life of
Christian dignity here, and
eternal life hereafter,’’ he
said.
The Louisiana-born priest,
only a few days under 49,
said he did not think his ap
pointment would create any
problems in his home state.
There are, however, 164
Negro priests in the United
States, according to Bishop-
elect Perry. He said 62 be
long to his own society of Di
vine Word missionaries. In
fact, it was the consecration
of one of these to be auxili
ary bishop of Panama City
that brought Father Perry to
Rome. He attended the con
secration of Bishop Carlos
A. Lewis, S.V.D., at Nemi
near here (Oct. 3). Bishop
Lewis is also an American
citizen, but he is not native
born, j
History tells of Bishop
James Augustine Healy, who
was bishop of Portland, Me.,
from 1875 until his death in
1900. The Jesuit bishop was
born in Georgia before the
days of emancipation.
Bishop-elect Perry said
that although Bishop Healy has
been reputed by some his
torians to be either one-fourth
or one-eighth Negro on his
mother’s side, “he was never
known as such during his life
time and never claimed to be.
I think it’s erroneous to say
he was a Negro,’’ he said.
Although he is a charter
member of the board of the
National Catholic Conference
for Interracial Justice, Bis
hop-elect Perry said he has
“never been associated di
rectly with any civil rights
movements.’’
He was the first Negro
clergyman in the history of
Congress to act as a guest
chaplain. He opened a ses
sion of the 88th Congress—
popularly known as the “civil
rights Congress’’—at the in
vitation of House Speaker John
W. McCormack. He was also
among the 250 Southern
clergymen of all faiths in
vited to the White House in
1963 to discuss peaceful in
tegration of public accommo
dations facilities.
“Catholics there have a
deep faith. They accepted me
as a priest and will, I think,
accept me as a bishop,’’ he
said.
Archbishop Cody added: “I
think they will glady accept
him.’’
Why has it taken so long
for the Catholic Church to
appoint a Negro bishop from
In recognition of his work
for racial harmony he has
been given an honorary doc
tor of laws degree by St.
Joseph’s College at Ren-
salaec, Ind.
The date of the consecra
tion is yet to be fixed, but
Archbishop Cody and Arch
bishop Hannan said they had
every hope it would be held
in New Orleans soon.
Parish Scenes
St. Janies Home & School
Classrooms were open for parent-teacher conferences prior
to the opening meeting of St. James (Savannah) Home & School
Association. The Association voted to purchase a loud speaker
system for the school to use in the new physical education pro
gram. They also plan to obtaina“Howto Study and Why’’ record
for the library.
Brunswick P.C.C.W.
The regular monthly meeting of St. Francis Xavier Parish
Council (Brunswick) was held in the school library . Father
Timothy Sugrue, S. M. opened the meeting with a Bible Service.
Mrs. Edmond Penders led a discussion on Organization and
Development, and urged the ladies to make an effort to bring
a new member to every meeting.
Sacred Heart P.C.C.^ .
Miss Thelma Rogers, president of the Sacred Heart (Augusta)
P.C.C.W., appointed chairman for the coming year at the Septem
ber meeting held last Tuesday evening. Misses Karen Brit-
tingham, Susan Craig, Theresa Heffernan, Barbara Johnson and
Frances Oetjen were honor guests at the covered dish supper
and each gave some of the highlights of the international Girl
Scout campout held recently in Idaho.
Bainbridge Women’s Club
At the September meeting of St. Joseph’s Women’s Club,
Bainbridge, approval of the activities calendar for the year was
the main topic of discussion. A rummage sale will be held in
October, and monthly card parties will be hosted by the Donald-
sonville members in that city. A parish picnic was planned
and held Sunday, September 19, at Bridge’s Ranch in Brin
son. All interested ladies of the area are urged to attend the
future meetings and support the Women’s Club.
VALDOSTA MEETING — Pictured at the Fall Luncheon Meeting of the Co
lumbus Deanery Council of Catholic Women (1. to r.) are: Rt. Rev. Msgr. John
D. Toomey,. Spiritual Moderator of the Diocesan Council; Mrs Leonard Camp
bell, Macon, president of the Deanery Council; Rev. Roger Marxsen, Rector of
Christ Episcopal Church, Macon; Mrs. Hal Davis, Valdosta.
VALDOSTA
Episcopal Rector Speaks
At Deanery Fall Meeting
In conjunction with the Ecu
menical movement , the Re
verend Roger S. Marxsen,
Rector of Christ Episcopal
church of Macon was guest
speaker at the Fall meeting
of the Columbus Deanery
Council of. Catholic Women.
Rev. Marxsen -described the
life of the late Dr. Albert
Schweitzer to the ladies who
were assembled, Sept. 28th,
at St. John’s School Audi
torium, Valdosta.
The Speaker told his au
dience that Schweitzer, who
spent the first thirty years
of his life as a Biblical scho
lar, raised many fascinating
questions- regarding the New
Testament, and Christians to-
day, while divided on many
answers, are surprisingly to
gether on questions, which
promised for the future a
greatly enlarged common
ground for all Faiths.
After spending his first
years in scholarship and a
study of the arts, He
noted Schweitzer devoted the
rest of his life to serving
humanity as a Doctor in the
dark of Africa, and while
healing the bodies of Black
Men, he did far more in rea
ching the souls of white men
and all men everywhere.
His life was truly “Love
translated into human ser
vice’’. He said, “friends and
others questioned his true mo
tives, which only led Schweit
zer to the conclusion that
“civilized men are slipping in
their grasp of their human
duties’’, and “lapsingmental
ly and morally below past
generations’’. He was con
vinced that “man must feel
his place in creation’’, ap
preciate what the Creator has
given him, and exalt this ap
preciation of life to perfect
form - “to love and to give.’’
Reverend Marxsen said he
felt aU men rejoiced in the
present Ecumenical Council,
which in its fourth session
Specializing Is
Our Business
Not Today, Not Tomorrow
But Everyday!
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WARNER ROBINS
going on now in Rome, is
working so hard toward Chris
tian Unity, and felt that this
would not necessarily be
brought about by shared
beliefs, but certainly by the
“Right Spirit”, as exempli
fied by the modern Pentecostal
voice of Albert Schweitzer.
Special guests at this meet
ing were the Rev. Brevard
Williams, Rector of Christ
Episcopal Church, Valdosta,
and Mrs. Williams, and Mrs.
Emmy Lou Goff, a member
of Christ Episcopal Church,
Macon.
In his summation, Monsi
gnor John D. Toomey, Spiri
tual Moderator of the Colum
bus Deanery, thanked Rev.
Marxsen for his splendid ad
dress, and said he had truly
left us food for thought, and
a renewed determination to
go out and do likewise.
Ladies from St. John’s Ca
tholic Woman’s Club who
helped register the guests and
serve were : Mrs. William
Grant, Mrs. Calvin Carter,
Mrs. Mae Johnson, Mrs.Hank
Mead, Mrs. D. J. Walker,
Mrs. J. E. Mathis, Mrs. Henry
Halter, Mrs. Earl Alverez,
Mrs. Elmore Thrash, Mrs.
Thomas Brooks, Mrs. Alex
Skoropat, Mrs. J. A. DeGange,
Mrs. R. J. Murphy, Mrs. Hal
Davis.;
NO
CHURCH
THE HOLY FATHER'S MISSION AID TO THE ORIENTAL CHURCH
For Mass on Sunday Catholics by the hundreds
crowd into a grimy thatched shed in Chenni-
„ thala, south India. All of them are converts.
They have no church because they have no
money. . . . Formerly Jacobites, these Catholics
are pitiably poor. The wage earner (with wife
GOD and children to support) gets less than $1 a
HAS week! . . . Father Joseph Mailadiyil, the hard-
BEEN working pastor, needs only $3,200 for bricks
GOOD and cement since the men in this parish can
TO build a lasting church free-of-charge evenings
YOU? after work. . . . Make this church your lifetime
gift to God and His poor before you die, in
memory of your loved ones? Name it for your
favorite saint, if you build it all by yourself.
Whenever Mass is offered Father Joseph (and
his successors) will remember you and your
loved ones in a very special way. . . . Send him
at least as much as you can right now ($200,
$150, $100, $75, $50, $25, $20, $15, $10,
$5, $3, $2). To save the Faith and to spread it
Father Joseph needs your help at once! . . . God
has been good to you? Do something for Father
Joseph, please.
HOW □ Missionary priests in our 18 countries are
YOU able to support themselves (and help the poor)
CAN when you send us your Mass intentions. The
HELP Masses will be offered at once.
□ 13-year-old Nabil Jamil, at our orphanage
for boys in Iraq, needs someone to keep him in
food, clothing, school books. You can do it for
$10 a month. We'll send you his photo, ask him
to write to you.
□ $10 feeds a family of Palestine refugees for
a month. In thanks, we’ll send you an Olive
Wood Rosary from the Holy Land. Pray for our
priests and Sisters.
GOD’S To enhance devotion to her in Ethiopia, Arch-
MOTHER bishop Asrate Mariam wants to erect a large
IN outdoor shrine of Our Blessed Mother in the
ETHIOPIA Gullale section of Addis Ababa. AH told, it will
cost $2,150. Will someone answer the Arch
bishop’s prayer?
0
Dear enclosed please find $.
Monsignor Ryan:
FOR
Please name
return coupon
with your street.
offering
city
STATE.
.ZIP CODE.
THE CATHOLIC NEAR EAST WELFARE ASSOCIATION
NEAR EAST
MISSIONS
FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN, President
MSGR. JOSEPH T. RYAN, National Secretary
Write: Catholic Near East Welfare Assoc.
330 Madison Avenue* New York, N.Y. 10017
Telephone: 212/YUkon 6-5840