Newspaper Page Text
V
FAMILY CLINIC
By John J. Kane,Ph.D.
Professor of Sociology
University of Notre Dame
Our daughter, 18, is going
with a married man. At first
he told her he was single, but
now we know he is married
and has children. She insists
on marrying him, stating he
will get a divorce. How can
situations like this be
avoided? What can we do
now? Our daughter has
abandoned the Church.
* * *
Your question as to what
can be done to avoid
situations like this is
considerably more germane
than what you can do about
it now. Avoidance of this
kind of tragedy begins early
in life by training children to
love and respect their faith.
And I am afraid if this is not
something they acquire early
in life, they are not likely to
acquire it at all. As a matter
of fact, even some of those
who do acquire it, lose it.
The Church’s teaching on
such matters is reasonably
clear. If a man or woman
enter into a valid marriage,
then obtains a divorce, I do
not refer to an annulment,
this man or woman cannot
remarry while his or her
divorced spouse is alive. In
the eyes of the Church, so
many of these conditions are
met, your daughter’s marriage
to this man simply will not be
recognized.
We are living through a
period when there seems to
be very little respect for
authority, and I might even
add Church authority. More
and more we seem to be
reaching a point where people
consider that their own
individual opinion is the
equal of anyone else’s
opinion regardless of their
particular background. Yet, I
will predict, since your
daughter has been reared in
the Roman Catholic Church,
her conscience will bother her
about this marriage.
It is particularly tragic
because she is so young. She
undoubtedly has had many
many opportunities of
marriage to single, eligible
young men. The point is that
she apparently became
infatuated with this man, and
even though he lied to her,
she is not yet disallusioned. I
fear she will be.
This story is so common
that I scarcely feel it is
necessary to write about it
again. But I seriously doubt
that he will divorce his wife
and marry her. Many men
have promised this, some
have kept the promise. Many
have reneged on it. I’m
inclined to guess that he will
be one of the latter.
But suppose he does
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divorce his wife. There is
little doubt that the court will
award the children to her.
This means that he will have
to pay a considerable sum of
money for the support of his
children, if not also for his
wife. Your daughter and he
are going to start off their
married life with what may
prove to be a severe financial
handicap.
At first, if they do marry,
your daughter may be
perfectly willing to accept
this. But later if they have
children, and as the cost of
living together spirals I think
she will resent the children of
his first marriage more and
more. This scarcely augurs
well for the success of this
second marriage.
But one of the problems in
our contemporary society,
particularly for those of us
who live in urban areas, is
that it is not always possible
to know people very well in
the beginning. The fact that
this man could claim he was
single when he was actually
married and the father of
children is an indication of
what I mean. In the kind of
lives which most of us live in
the United States today, it is
comparatively easy to
dissemble. This is exactly
what this man did until your
daughter became infatuated
with him or perhaps really
fell in love with him.
One of the questions that
might be well put to her, if
you have not already done so,
is just what hope does she
have for a successful marriage
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when it has begun with
deception on his part. I don’t
mean the very minor
deceptions that any boy or
girl might practice with each
other when they first meet. I
refer to a very serious matter
such as his claim to be single
when he was not. I think she
would feel rather concerned
that the type of deception
practiced before marriage
may well be continued
afterward.
I would also ask her how
she would feel if she were the
wife of this man. If you can
get her to look at this matter
objectively and answer it that
way, I think she will have to
admit that she would not feel
very good. But she may
expect the same kind of thing
in her marriage to him.
Perhaps if she really faces
this, it will shake her a bit.
It is regrettable that your
daughter has abandoned the
Church, because here is a
source of help that she will
not now accept. I rather
doubt that you and your
husband are going to have
much impact on her, and for
that matter I’m not certain
anyone will. Nevertheless, I
think it is worth a try.
There must be some
marriage counseling services
in your community.
Normally, I would suggest
Catholic Social Service, but in
this instance I’m sure your
daughter would reject it. But
there are other organizations
and you might go quietly to a
priest in your parish or to
Catholic Social Service and
ask for advice about a
counselor. Then I would ask
your daughter, if I were you,
to at least sit down and talk
the matter over with a
competent counselor. You
may as well admit that her
decision will be it, but at least
she owes this much to you.
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I am not too hopeful of
the outcome. My sympathy
goes out to both of you, but
it also goes out to your
daughter. She is young and
simply does not realize the
full implications of what she
has chosen to do. I would
strongly suggest you pray
that God will enable her to
see the light and make the
proper decision.
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Editor:
As a beginning teacher of
religion in the C.C.D.
program I would like to
thank the Bishop for the
opportunity to attend the
recent retreat held at St. John
Vianney’s Seminary.
Fr. Coleman and Fr. Smith
had planned a beautiful
retreat with outstanding
speakers and an atmosphere
of dedication and devotion
which was most inspiring to
me.
It is a shame more teachers
could not have participated. I
sincerely hope the program of
retreats will continue and
flourish.
Sincerely,
(Mrs. Bart E.) Nancy M. Shea
Savannah
Editor,
If your readers have used
Christmas and Easter Cards,
but in good condition and
they wish to send them to a
Missionary in India to make
our poor Indian children
happy, the Cards should be
mailed by ordinary package
to:
Rev. Fr. Eugenio Petrin,
Catholic Mission, Dem Dima,
P. O. Birpara, District
Jalpaiguri, West Bengal,
INDIA.
To avoid customs duty in
India, these words must be
written on the package:
“No commerical value —
Used Christmas Easter
Cards—Printed matter”
If the senders wish to get a
‘Thank you’ answer, they
should write clearly their
address inside the package.
We badly need also
financial help, to feed - at
higher cost this year - the
cathecumens and children
trusted to our care. Could
somebody help us? Thanks.
Your assistance is greatly
appreciated.
Sincerely yours in Christ
Fr. Eugenio Petrin
W. Bengal, India
Editor:
Our four churches had the
first ADULT EDUCATION
COURSES for rural parishes
and missions in the Diocese
on Thanksgiving weekend
with the theme: THINGS
CHANGE AND YET ARE
THE SAME.
I feel a special obligation
to write in high praise of the
courses which were offered
by Father William Coleman
and Sister M. Charlene,
R.S.M.
A six hour course was
given at each church: in
Willacoochee and Douglas by
Father Coleman; in Fitzgerald
and Alapaha by Sister
Charlene. The courses were
received with enthusiasm by
the more than 100 who
participated ... And they did
participate to the extent that
lengthy dialogue made it
impossible to have all
scheduled activities. And
before the day was over,
requests were made that we
should have more courses.
I would strongly
recommend that others avail
themselves of the courses,
and have no fears (as we did
at first) that the six hours
might be “a too lengthy
schedule”.
Our thanks to the
Department of Christian
Formation and gratitude to
Father Coleman and Sister
Charlene for the competent
way in which they gave the
courses .... And hurry back.
Sincerely,
Leo Wetzel, O.M.I.,
Pastor
St. Paul’s Church
Douglas
Catechism—
i* . /
(Continued from Page 1)
catechism is to teach the
doctrine that man in the
beginning rebelled against
God and so lost for himself
and his offspring that sanctity
and justice in which he had
been constituted, and that he
handed on a true state of sin
to all through propogation of
human nature.
3. The conception of Jesus
by the Virgin Mary. The
catechism should teach that
the Blessed Mother was
always a virgin in fact and not
merely in a symbolic sense.
4. The “satisfaction”
made by Christ our Lord.
Jesus, the son of God, freely
died for our sins and thereby
abundantly compensated for
them.
5. The sacrifice of the
cross and the sacrifice of the
Mass. The sacrifice of the
cross is perpetuated in the
Church of God as the
Eucharistic sacrifice. In the
Eucharistic sacrifice, Jesus as
the principal priest offers
himself to God through the
consecratory oblation which
priests perform and to which
the faithful unite themselves.
6. The Eucharistic
presence and Eucharistic
change. It is necessary that in
the text of the catechism it
be brought out beyond doubt
that after the consecration of
the bread and wine the very
body and blood of Chirst is
present on the altar and is
received sacramentally in
Holy Communion.
7. The infallibility of the
Church and the knowledge of
revealed mysteries. It should
be more clearly stated that
the infallibility of the Church
does not give her only a safe
course in continual research
but the truth in maintaining
the doctrine of faith and in
explaining it always in the
same sense.
8. The ministerial or
hierarchical priesthood and
the power of teaching and
ruling in the Church. The
catechism should make clear
that the ministerial
priesthood differs essentially
from the common priesthood
of the faithful.
Furthermore the cardinals
asked that the new catechism
clearly recognize that the
teaching authority and the
power of ruling in the Church
is given directly to the Holy
Father and to the bishops
joined with him in
hierarchical communion, and
that it is not given first of all
to the People of God to be
communicated to others. The
bishops receive their mandate
from God not from the
people.
The catechism is also to
point out that the Holy
Father and the bishops in
their teaching office do not
merely assemble and approve
what the whole community
of the faithful believes.
It is also to be presented
that the Holy Father has the
full power of ruling.
9. Various points
concerning dogmatic
theology. The catechism
should stress the value of
contemplating the mystery of
the Trinity, not only in the
economy of salvation, but
also in the eteranl life of the
divinity.
Care must be taken that
the catechism does not seem
to say that miracles can only
be brought about by divine
power insofar as they do not
depart from that which the
forces of the created world
are able to produce.
The catechism should
openly refer to the present
enjoyment by the souls of the
just of the vision of God.
10. Certain points of
moral theology. The text of
the catechism is not to make
obscure the existence of
moral laws which we are able
to know and express in such a
way that they bind our
conscience always and in all
circumstances. Solutions of
cases of conscience should be
avoided which do not
sufficiently attend to the
indissolubility of marriage.
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The Southern Cross, December 5, 1968 — PAGE 5
ALASKAN HIERARCHY - Following the Holy Father’s acceptance of the retirement of Bishop
Francis D. Gleeson, S.J., as Bishop of Fairbanks, the ecclesiastical province of Alaska’s hierarchy
comprises, left to right, Archbishop Joseph T. Ryan of Anchorage; Bishop Dermot O’Flanagan of
Juneau; and Bishop Robert L. Whelan, S.J., former coadjutor, now Bishop of Fairbanks. (NC
Photos)
ECUMENICAL EFFORT
Canadian Churches Join
In Anti-Poverty Drive
TORONTO, Ont. (RNS) -
Roman Catholic, Anglican
and Protestant leaders met
here in an unprecedented
meeting to draw up plans for
a war on poverty.
The private session was
attended by executives of
nine member churches of the
Canadian Council of
Churches and bishops
representing the Canadian
Catholic Conference. All told,
62 churchmen participated in
the “follow-up” conference
to a symposium on poverty
held at Montreal in May.
A joint committee of eight
men -- four from the
Canadian Council of
Churches and four from the
Canadian Catholic
Conference -- has been
instructed to produce a plan
of attack on poverty by May
15.
Delegates directed the
committee to develop “a
practical strategy of unified
action by all Christian
Churches in their present
programs of social action, in
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particular concerning
poverty, and their future
action programs which may
evolve in an ecumenical
spirit.”
Among the Roman
Catholic delegation were
Maurice Cardinal Roy,
Primate of Canada; Bishop
Alexander Carter of Sault
Ste. Marie, president of the
Canadian Catholic
Conference, and Coadjutor
Archbishop Philip F. Pocock
of Toronto.
Representing the Council
of Churches were Canon
David Somerville, Anglican
Bishop-elect of New
Westminister, B.C.; the Rev.
Floyd Honey, Toronot,
Council general secretary; the
Rev. Louis Fowler, General
Assembly, Presbyterian
Church in Canada; the Rev.
Earl Treusch, Lutheran
Council in Canada; the Rev.
John Leng, United Church of
Canada; Joseph Arthurs,
president of the Baptist
Federation of Canada; Col.
Frank Moulton, staff
secretary of the Salvation
Army; and Fred Haslam,
general secretary of the
Society of Friends.
Absent because of illness
were the Anglican Primate,
Archbishop Howard H. Clark
of Rupert’s Land, and the
Rev. Ernest E. Long,
secretary of the General
Council, United Church of
Canada.
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