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The Southern Cross, January 9, 1969 — PAGE 5
FAMILY CLINIC
By John J. Kane, Ph.D.
Professor of Sociology
University of Notre Dame
I am a widow with three
small children. If I died who
would care for them? We
have no relatives to do so.
Money is no problem. There
is enough to take them
through high school. But who
would give them love and
affection? We needed their
father but he was taken from
us. Is there an answer?
* * *
You have my sincere
sympathy, as I am certain
you will have it of our
readers, in your plight.
.Simply being a widow, even if
you had no children, presents
problems in our world. And it
is quite natural for you to
express concern about what
would happend to your
children in the event of your
death.
Fortunately, there is
sufficient money to support
them and see them through
high school. But the material
things are s scarcely adequate
in child rearing. However, it is
some help and you should
take whatever comfort you
can from that fact.
The American family is a
somewhat precarious type of
operation. We have what is
called a conjugal family, that
is, a family consisting of
husband, wife and children. It
is really a one generation
affair because with the death
of the parents, the family
ceases to exist.
and institutions which would
certainly care for your
children. While I don’t even
like the term, orphan’s home,
such institutions do exist.
Today they are fewer in
number and some of them
have been converted to other
uses because fortunately most
parents do live to see their
children reach maturity.
willing to rear your children.
I don’t put this forward as a
highly likely prospect but
you would simply be amazed
at the kindness of many
people. Furthermore, since
they are economically
provided for, this would not
put a severe drain on the
resources of the person taking
them.
In many societies family
life is quite different. As a
matter of fact it once was in
our own society. They have
what is called an extended
family which generally
involves grand-parents,
perhaps all married sons, tiieir
wives and children, living in
one house or together in
several houses in the same
place.
It takes various forms and
this is just one I’m using as an
example to discuss the point I
want to make. In the event of
the death of a father or
mother or even both in the
extended family the
grand-parents, if living, or the
other brothers would then
take care of the children
either within the same home
or would take them to their
homes. Since they would
have had a great deal of
association with their uncles
and aunts already, they
would probably feel close to
and familiar with them.
However, since you have
no relatives at all, the
problem of who would take
your children in the event of
your death is a difficult one.
Naturally, there are agencies
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But let me hasten to add
that while the thought of
living in an institution for
orphans is a rather dismal
one, even a very good one,
and there are some, efforts
are made to place children in
foster homes. It might well be,
if you should die early, that
your children would be taken
care of by some very fine
foster parents. Serious efforts
are made to match children
to the type of home where
they are sent.
There is another
possibility which you may
not care to explore but I feel
I must mention it, and that is
remarriage. While you did not
state your age in your letter,
in view of the fact that the
children are small, it is my
guess that you are a relatively
young woman.
You might be interested in
an organization called
“Parents Without Partners”
for which you are eligible by
reason of the fact that you
are a widow with small
children. Here you will find
people who will have a
common experience to share
with you, that is, being
widows or widowers with
small children.
Assuming that you have
no desire to remarry at this
time and that you feel that it
would be an unlikely step in
the future, you might indeed
try to develop some very
close friends with whom you
and your children would
associate and who might in
the event that you did die be
But one point that I
simply must make with you is
that your concern about
death, while understandable,
seems to dominate your
thoughts. It is rather morbid
to dwell on this and certainly
it cannot really help the
situation if you should die.
You’ll simpy have to put
your trust in God, hope that
you will live to see your
childred reared, and take
reasonably good care of
yourself. I don’t suppose a
reference to the life span of
women will mean much to an
individual but as you know
your life expectancy is
probably into the 70’s.
And finally I note that
you say that “we needed
their father but he was taken
from us.” I hope you can
escape bitterness over the fact
that your husband had an
untimely death. Bereavement
is always hard to accept and
it takes a long time for many
people to overcome the pangs
of grief that it brings.
But one of my chief
recommendations to you is to
try to develop a different
attitude towards your
husband’s death, recognizning
that it was God’s will and
simply must be accepted. I
also suggest that you develop
more outside interests, and
brood less about the
possibility of your own death
and what will happen to your
children. You can take some
of the measures I mentioned
if you wish but I think the
chief change indicated is one
in attitude.
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INDUSTRIAL PARK
18 MONTH BIAFRA WAR
More Than 2,000,000
Have Died Of Starvation
By John R. Sullivan
As the federal Nigerian
government made plans for a
“final offensive” against the
breakaway state of Biafra,
and as Biafran leaders
proposed a limited truce, a
United Nations agency
revealed its grim estimate of
the cost of the 18-month-old
civil war in West Africa.
The United Nations
Children’s Fund in a year-end
statement said that more than
two million people have died
of starvation in Biafra and
Nigeria, and called it “one of
the most appalling tragedies
of our time.”
Meanwhile the
government-owned Lagos
Daily Sketch said informed
sources revealed that the
federal government is about
to launch a major drive to
end the war.
While that drive has been
“launched” several times in
the past, observers said this
time it may be real. Wartime
WASHINGTON (NC) -
An 18-year-old girl from the
University of Dallas and a
26-year-old teacher at a
Catholic high school in New
York state have been selected
as the Outstanding Catholic
Youth and the Outstanding
Catholic Young Adult of the
year.
The winners were Patti
Yezak, university freshman
from Bremond, Tex., and
Gerard J. Mosey, a teacher at
Bishop Duffy High School in
North Tonawanda, N.Y.
The annual nationwide
competition is conducted by
the National Catholic Youth
Organization Federation of
the Division of Youth
Activities, • United States
Catholic Conference.
Each winner was selected
from among five finalists,
according to Michael
McGown of Beaumont, Tex.,
president of the Teenage
tax measures have touched
off demonstrations and
riots-costing several hundred
lives and several thousand
arrests-in- Nigeria’s Western
Region and a curfew has been
slapped on four cities,
including Ibadan, Africa’s
largest native urban center.
Lagos sources reported to
NC News Service that the
war, which at first seemed to
unify the nation, seems to be
splitting it once again, and
pressure is now on Gen.
Yakubu Gowon, the federal
chief of state, to bring it to a
quick end.
Outside Africa, religious
relief agencies and the
International Committee of
the Red Cross prepared for
the delivery of eight military
cargo planes sold to them by
the U.S. government. The
planes, they said, will enable
them to double their relief
effort without increasing
traffic at the already-busy Uli
airstrip in Biafra.
In Geneva, Swiss
Section of the National CYO
Federation, and Adair
Turcottee of Manchester,
N.H., vice president of the
federation’s Young Adult
Section.
Miss Yezak is a member of
St. Mary’s parish in the
diocese of Austin, Tex. She is
active in parish, district,
diocesan, regional and
national CYO. She was
district treasurer, diocesan
treasurer and diocesan
president.
Mosey is a member of St.
Francis of Assisi parish in the
Buffalo diocese. He has
served as deanery president,
diocesan president, regional
president, and is currently the
national president of the
young adult section. He is in
“Who’s Who in Eastern
United States.” and was the
diocesan Outstanding
Catholic Young Adult of
1968, and was runner-up in
the Jaycees Outstanding
Citizen of the Year Award.
Protestant leaders and the
Catholic Bishops’ Conference
asked their government to
halt all arms shipments to
either side of the war. In a
statement issued Dec. 31,'
they noted ruefully that
earlier in 1968 they had
asked the churches of Great
Britain to protest the
shipment of arms to Nigeria
by their government.
The Nigerian federal
government announced in
Lagos (Jan. 4) that it does
not object to International
Red Cross flights into Biafra
by daylight, provided the
airstrip is not used for arms
traffic during that period.
But information
Commissioner Anthony
Enahoro warned that all
planes going to Biafra at
night, including relief planes,
are taking a risk.
A spokesman for the
International Committee of
the Red Cross said in Geneva
that if both sides agreed, the
Red Cross is ready to start
daylight flights to Biafra.
In Geneva, the Joint
Church Aid group, a
Protestant-Catholic relief
organization, reported its
1,000th mercy flight to
Biafra since it started
operations in April, 1968
Meanwhile the United
States came under criticism
from both Biafra and Nigeria.
A Biafran communique
accused President Lyndon
Johnson of helping Nigeria
“in a most wicked manner”
with war materials and
diplomatic backing.
Earlier, in the Biafran
stronghold of Umuahia,
about 10,000 women held a
rally where they adopted a
resolution calling on
President-elect Richard Nixon
to abandon what spokesmen
said is the “unrealistic”
attitude of the Johnson
administration supporting the
Nigerian federal government.
At Ibadan in federal
Nigeria a university protest
against foreign intervention in
the civil war turned into an
anti-American, anti-British
demonstration. The U.S.
cultural center and the British
high commission offices were
stoned, a U.S. flag was torn
down and a British flag was
burned. Nine windows at the
U.S. center were broken.
ANNUAL COMPETITION
Outstanding US
Youth Selected
j
BOOKS FOR LIBRARIES - Donated by Class of ’52 “IN GOD WE TRUST” is printed on the gold
labels inserted in the books purchased by the dual reunion committee in ljehalf of Benedictine and
St. Vincent’s class of ’52. The library contribution for both schools will be an annual endeavor.
Making presentation at St. Vincent's (Top Photo) L to R: Helen Broderick Ferraro, Majory
Morrissey Story, Sr. M. Jude R.S.M. Principal, Joan Morel Mathews, Rochelle Bettencourt
McGinn. At Benedictine (Lower Photo) L to R: Grady Sapp, Dan Murphy, Vincent Ferraro, Tony
Mathews sitting), Mike Ware, Jimmy Fogarty, Donald Heidt, Librarian.
MILITARY VICAR - Archbishop Terence J. Cooke of New
York, who is also Military Vicar of the Armed Forces, with two
million men, women and children in his worldwide diocese, the
Military Ordinariate, is seen as he talked with two of the
Chaplains in Vietnam recently. They are (left) Chaplain (Col.)
Gerhardt W. Hyatt, MACV Command Chaplain, and Msgr. (Col.)
Gerard J. Gefell of Rochester, N.Y., USARV Staff ChaplaiL at
Tan Son Nhut airport, Saigon. (NC Photos)
THEOLOGIANS
Promotion Of
Petition Hit
VATICAN CITY (NC) -
The Vatican City daily,
L’Osservatore Romano,
criticizing a group of
renowned theologians for
publishing their appeal for
broader freedoms, said the
publicity they sought “takes
on the character of protest
and pressure.”
L’Osservatore granted that
the statement of the
theologians, which was
circulated in mid-December
through the offices of the
international theological
review Concilium, contained
“plausible statements.”
It also discerned “criteria
and proposals worthy of
reserve with regard to the
function of theologians and
of theological studies in the
ambit of Catholic doctrine
and their relation to the
ecclesiastical magisterium.”
It concluded: “Beyond
that, it is deplorable that with
the diffusion of such a
document destined for
competent and responsible
authorities, a group of
well-known and renowned
theologians, taking no
account of the good rules of
all legitimate dialogue, should
be implicated in a form of
publicity that takes on a
character of protest and
pressure. This under the
present circumstances, does
not facilitate the application
of the undertakings relative
to the wishes in question, and
redounds neither to the credit
of the above-mentioned
review or the good of the
Church.”
THE HOLY FATHER'S MISSION AID TO THE ORIENTAL CHURCH
WELCOME
TO
NEW
FRIENDS
AND
OLD
BUILD
A PARISH
FUTURE
PRIESTS AND
SISTERS
"USE WHERE
NEEDED"
Do you read ours? Our mail, that is. . . . If so,
you’ll receive within the next few days our invi
tation to help the Holy Father help the helpless
in 18 emerging countries. We are asking our
friends to renew their membership (and to en
roll their families and friends) in this Associa
tion. Look for the invitation. We hope you’ll
write promptly to say Yes. . . . Since we are the
Holy Father’s official mission-aid in the Near
and Middle East and Southern India, we are
sending you his photograph with a list of the
benefits he grants to members. In addition your
membership offering helps Pope Paul himself
in one of his most ambitious and heartfelt
works: The relief of hunger, disease, ignorance
and poverty among tragic population groups in
the Near East. ... He looks to this Association
— through your membership and gifts — to
bring a long missing dignity to these helpless
people ... to nurse them, feed, clothe and
shelter them ... to give hope ... to bring
them the sacraments. . . . Just in case our invi
tation does not reach you, the membership of
fering for one year is only $2 per person, $10
for a family. The offering for perpetual mem
bership is $25 per person, $100 for a family.
You may enroll your deceased as well, of course
($25). . . . Write to us promptly to say Yes. We
will send you, with our deep appreciation, a
membership certificate you will be proud to
have. .Please mail the coupon below.
Wonder what dollars can do in our 18 coun
tries? Here are some suggestions:
□ $10,000 will build a complete ‘’parish plant”
(church, school, convent, rectory) in India this
year. Name it for your favorite saint, in mem
ory of your loved ones.
□ $600 ($8.50 a month for six years) will train
a poor boy for the priesthood overseas. $300
($12.50 a month for two years) will train a
native Sister. They will write to you.
□ Your Stringless Gift ($1,000, $500, $75, $50,
$10, $5, $1) equips the Holy Father for mis
sion emergencies.
Q> AX
Dear enclosed please find $
Monsignor Nolan:
FOR
Please name
return coupon
with your street
offering
CITY STATE ZIP CODE
THE CATHOLIC NEAR EAST WELFARE ASSOCIATION
NEAR EAST
MISSIONS
MOST REV. TERENCE J. COOKE, President
MSGR. JOHN G. NOLAN, National Secretary
Write: Catholic Near East Welfare Assoc.
330 Madison Avenue*New York, N.Y. 10017
Telephone: 212/YUkon 6-5840