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PAGE 5—December 13,1973
The Op
BY JANE WILLIAMS PUGEL
Our son was recently writing about the training ground for
sharing that exists in the typical family. As part of his
preparation for a Scout skill award on family living, this was
making him do some heavy thinking about families in general.
He finally showed me what he had written.
“It’s a good thing to have brothers and sisters because if you
were only one guy you could hog the TV or the phone all the
time.” I wondered if I detected a note of regret. “Sometimes
this might be sort of nice. But it wouldn’t really teach you
nothing.”
We talked about grammar -- and about sharing.
Grammar-wise, we were worlds apart. As for sharing, we were
remarkably close in point of view. We both saw the necessity. I,
as an acquired taste that becomes sweeter with the years. He, as
one of the harsher realities of life.
He pointed out, “Well, see, there isn’t enough of everything
to go around, so if every guy takes everything he wants,
somebody else doesn’t get nothing.” “Anything,” I replied.
“That too,” he said. “But sometimes, mom, you want to have
everything to yourself. That’s not bad, is it?”
No, I told him, not bad; it’s just the human condition. This
whole business of sharing goes against the grain of our
troublesome natures. In fact, the necessity of sharing is a hard
lesson learned right along with walking, talking and handling
knives and forks. It’s really harder than acquiring those skills,
and some people never learn.
Sharing must be learned in the bosom of the family. We don’t
need to make our children think that the nature God has given
us is unrelievedly bad - it’s not. Our nature is, like sugar,
refineable.
The only member of the family legitimately unconcerned
about sharing is the baby. Watch him awhile. He grabs
everything. When he gets a bottle, he doesn’t say “Thanks, Ma”
and smile companionably as he eats. He holds on grimly and
groans with the work of appetite appeasement.
en Heart
But soon he’ll learn that somebody else might want his book,
his bottle, his toy. For a few noisy months he’ll cry and kick
but, in the family school, which combines love with discipline
(and plenty of hard knocks) he will finally learn that he must
share if he is to be a member. Sharing for sheer pleasure comes
later, of course.
Beside the sharing of tangibles like toys, food, clothes,
money, there is the spiritual sharing that must be learned.
Sharing of oneself is harder to learn because there are no
guidelines except the desire to please someone you love. It, too,
finally becomes second nature.
Our youngest boy was in the hospital not long ago. I spent
much of the day with him, but had to be home when the others
would roar in from school. One of the older girls, finding me at
my post, said “Oh, I hate to have him up there alone. He’s so
little.”
She rearranged her busy after-school hours and drove to the
hospital for a three-hour stint. I liked that; I was proud of her.
Somewhere along the line she had learned the beautiful art of
sharing herself. She considered giving those hours to her brother
the most natural thing in the world. Happy girl.
The business of running a family requires sharing of jobs,
possessions, talents. Parents should expect this; they chose it
when they became parents. But children neither expect to
become sharers -- nor especially want to. So we all have to teach
each other the necessity, and finally the joy, of sharing.
companionably as he eats.” A young mother feeds her
hungry new baby from a bottle. (NC Photo by Thomas
N. Lorsung)
‘THE ONLY MEMBER OF the family legitimately
unconcerned about sharing is the baby . .. When he
gets a bottle, he doesn’t say Thanks, Ma’ and smile
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(All Articles On This Page Copyrighted 1973 by N.C. News Service)
Know Y our F aith
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‘‘SHARING OF ONESELF is harder to learn exchanges looks of selfless love. (NC Photo by Richard
because there are no guidelines except the desire to T. Lee)
please someone you love.” A couple holds hands and
Listening Sessions-Phase
BY FATHER JOSEPH M. CHAMPLIN
Long-time readers of this column may remember the
description of 30 Listening Sessions held throughout the parish
in 1971 during my first summer as pastor of Holy Family
Church in Fulton.
The procedure was extremely simple, but highly effective. A
host home invited 15-20 adults from the neighborhood to this
8:00 - 9:30 p.m. program. Each wore a name tag and, after my
arrival, handed me a card with name, address, phone number
and occupation.
Following a few minutes of introduction, I asked for their
suggestions about the parish: How can we best serve you? What
recommendations do you have for us? Which areas need
improvement?
Participants (around 425) responded swiftly and freely. I
listened and, when necessary, guided the conversation into a
new topic and wrote down their ideas in a stenographer’s pad.
We implemented where possible many of those proposals.
Later, at the end of the year, our annual report categorized the
539 suggestions, indicated which ones had already been fulfilled
and projected “future plans” to take care of others.
Last summer I felt it would be wise, now that we had been
working together for two years, to seek out once again the
opinions of parishioners. This time, however, we were asking
not only about the future, but also about the past. This
amounted to a performance review as well as an attitudinal
survey.
A quick questionnaire taken during the Sunday homily gave
us a list of 175 volunteer participants and the names of many
persons willing to host “Listening Sessions - Phase II.”
To overcome reticence and facilitate an honest expression of
views, at the beginning of the meeting the hosting party served
wine or soft drink with cheese and crackers.
My questions this time were: How do you feel about the
changes in the Catholic Church since Pope John called the
Second Vatican Council? Have you liked or disliked the
programs introduced at Holy Family over the past two years?
What suggestions do you have for the future?
Responses came slower in Phase II Listening Sessions, but
that was understandable given the circumstances and the
inquiries posed. We tried to keep the discussion for as long as
feasible on the more general topic encompassed by question
Religious Education and Sharing
BY FATHER CARL J. PFEIFER, S.J.
Bobby and Kevin were testing out the new tape-recorder
Bobby had just received for his 11th birthday. As they were
recording their voices, playing them back, and creating sound
effects, they got an idea. Their grandfather was in the hospital,
seriously sick. Because of their age (Kevin was just 9) they were
not allowed to visit him in the hospital. He was so ill that no
unnecessary phone calls were allowed. So the two boys decided
to make a tape recording and have their parents take it with
them on their next visit.
“Hi granddad! This is Bobby. I’m using the tape-recorder I
just got today for my birthday. This is my first real recording. I
got lots of gifts. Mostly games. Dad is cutting the grass. It was
awful hot in school today. I wish I could visit you. I hope you
feel better. Wait a minute. Here’s Kevin.”
“Hi granddad! This is Kevin. I got 95 on a spelling test today.
Today is Bobby’s birthday. He had a big cake. Sunday we are
playing football. Mom is writing another book. I miss you.”
The boy’s grandfather enjoyed the tapes very much. He
received more tapes from Bobby and Kevin as the weeks passed.
His roommate could not help overhearing the recordings. One
day he told the boys’ grandfather: “You must really be proud
to be part of a family like that. It’s really great that they take
time just to share with you what they are doing. It tells me how
important you are to them. I wish my family were more like
that.”
Claude and Mary Ann, the boys’ parents, shared all this with
me last week. They hadn’t thought what Bobby and Kevin had
done was so unusual. In fact they were surprised at first when
the grandfather, Mary Ann’s father, told them what his
roommate said. Afterwards they though more about it and
decided to ask Bobby and Kevin about sharing. They asked the
boys what difference, if any, it makes whether a family shares
with each other.
Kevin answered first. “You find out some things hurt people
LANDS OF THE BIBLE
that you didn’t think would. You get to know a lot more.”
Bobby recalled something that had just happened a week ago.
“It’s like when I lost the class election. I felt mad at Joe for
winning. At home you can say, ‘That makes me mad.’ Most of
the time you can’t tell people how you feel. At home you can.”
As Claude and Mary Ann told me about the tape-recordings
and the boys’ ideas about sharing, I was struck with how
ordinary it all seemed. Nothing profound was on the tapes - just
a few examples of what happened at school, at home, and on
the football field. The two boys’ ideas about sharing were not
unusually deep - just some simple thoughts on what you can
learn and how you feel when there is sharing within the family.
Yet the very ordinariness of it all almost hid the really
extraordinary reality noticed by the man who shared their
grandfather’s hospital room.
The fact that Bobby and Kevin, their parents, and
grandfather were able to share the ordinary things in their daily
lives was itself more important than the sum total of the ideas
and feelings they shared. The fact that they were able to share
in so ordinary a fashion such ordinary happenings suggested
family relationships grounded in mutual love and trust.
In taking time to share the good and bad news of their day,
Bobby and Kevin are really saying to their grandfather: “You’re
important to us. We really care a lot for you. We-wish we could
do something more to help you feel better.” The fact that two
young boys, 11 and nine, spontaneously shared the big-little
things of their lives with their grandfather suggests a quality of
openness or approachability on the part of the grandfather.
Sharing is what family life is all about. In a sense it is what all
of life is about. Jesus once said, “There is more happiness in
giving than receiving.” Paul once wrote: “What do you have that
you have not received? Give freely what you have freely
received.” Enabling others to share with others in relationships
of trust and love is part of what religious education is all about.
The ordinary place for learning this important part of Christian
living is in the home. Bobby and Kevin can be grateful their
family continues to work at sharing with each other the big and
little things in their lives.
Corinth, Center of Corruption
BY STEVE LANDREGAN
No city of the ancient world rivaled Corinth as a center of sin
and corruption. The term “Corinthian girl” was a synonym for
prostitute and “to live as a Corinthian” was to live a dissolute
life.
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one, moving eventually to the easier, specific subjects covered
by two and three.
Each of the 11 sessions differed. Some zeroed in on lay
ministers of Communion; others on the sign of peace or
applause in church; some brought forth deep and varied feelings
about the “new” and “old” church; others reflected general
agreement over modem ecclesiastical reforms; some proceeded
at a reserved orderly pace; others just took off in all directions.
Throughout, however, I found participants quite willing to
share their inner feelings with us. This was true even in cases
where they knew I held a contrary view or in instances of
policies introduced at the parish they don’t particularly like.
Laughter punctuated the hour-and-a-half in all those homes
and, at several, pratically dominated the event.
Such Listening Sessions achieve many purposes: They enable
people in the pews to get matters off their chest; they give
leadership personnel a quick view of parish attitudes; they bring
home to participants the great diversity of opinions held by
fellow Christians at Holy Family; they supply the
decision-making unit (pastor, team, parish council) with
pragmatic proposals and background information helpful in
charting the parish’s future direction.
Under the Bacchiadaen Dynasty and the tyrants Kysselos and
Periander, Corinthian ships sailed throughout the known world
carrying her famous bronzes, fabrics, perfumes and fine pottery.
The city was a stronghold that controlled overland traffic
between the mainland and the peninsula and sea traffic between
the Adriatic and the Aegean. Corinth became wealthy on the
tolls charged for passage both ways and on her trade.
Towering high above ancient Corinth is Acrocorinth. Atop
this 1,850-foot mountain is the Temple of Aphrodite where
1,000 slave girls acted as sacred prostitutes. Much of the
reputation for moral corruption that was earned by the city
may have been due to this temple.
Among the mins visible today, only the stately Doric
columns of the Temple of Apollo date from the ancient Greek
city. The rest are principally from Roman Corinth, including the
Bema, or platform, of St. Paul where the Roman Consul Gallo
(a brother of the philosopher Seneca) heard the dispute between
Jews and Christians (Acts 18: 12-17), but claimed he had no
jurisdiction.
The population of Corinth as St. Paul knew it was two-thirds
slave, a large number of poor workmen and a small, wealthy
merchant class. There was also a sizable Jewish colony.
Paul first visited the city in about 50 A.D. during his second
missionary journey. It was as unpromising a city as the apostle
could have chosen and his letters (and that of Clement of
Rome) reflect the fact that the Corinthian church was at times
obstreperous.
It is likely that Paul visited the city again during his long
sojourn in Ephesus (Acts 20:3) and possibly a third time after
his Roman imprisonment. (2 Tim. 4:20)
Paul’s letters to the Corinthians are among the best known of
his works and are recognized for their application of Christ’s
principles to the practical problems of Christians living in an
.alien world.