Newspaper Page Text
Thursday, April -8-, 199-9- -
■ G©mmem£airy
Everyday Graces
The Southern'Cross-, Page 5
Comparisons
to others can he traps
By Mary Hood Hart
hen I was a child, I loved
those brain teasing puzzles
in which you discover how two
pictures differ from one another,
in the slightest ways. For exam
ple, if one of the pictures is of a
cowboy and a horse, a second
drawing also depicts the same
cowboy and his horse; however,
the second drawing differs in
small details, the cowboy’s stir
rup is missing, the horse’s saddle
lacks a blanket. The object is to
scrutinize the drawings and dis
cover as many differences
between them as you can.
Something in my brain likes to compare. And
making comparisons can be useful. It certainly
makes writing easier, especially when I use fig
ures of speech. I enjoy the challenge of creating
effective metaphors and similes, and I find it grat
ifying if such a comparison rings true.
Yet often my tendency to compare becomes a
trap. It’s one thing to use comparisons in brain
teasers and literature, it’s altogether another to use
them in human relationships and spiritual devel
opment. All my life, I have struggled with both
the arrogance and sense of inferiority that result
from making comparisons between myself and
other people... in every area of life. For example,
as a good student, I’d compare my grades with
those of my peers and feel superior to most. As a
tall, big-boned teenager, I’d compare my size with
my petite girlfriends’, and I’d feel huge. One
minute, I’d rate myself favorably, the next minute
unfavorably. Everything depended
on how I compared to the people
around me.
Even now I fall into the compari
son trap. I compare my kids’ behav
ior with the behavior of their peers.
I compare my housekeeping with
that of my neighbor. The list goes
on and on. This is not a desire to
“keep up with the Joneses.” It is a
desire to determine how I measure
up... how well I am achieving what
ever it is I want to achieve in my
daily life. I suppose if, at the end of
the day, I feel I’ve compared favor
ably more often than not, then
somehow I’m on the right track.
This is all nonsense, of course. These compar
isons are nothing but exercises in vanity. And the
frightening part is that they can enter my spiritual
life as well. Not only do I compare myself with
others in social settings, but I may do the same
thing in my spiritual journey. Even the word
“journey” begs for comparison. In a journey, one
moves from point A to point B, with point B con
sidered a better place, a progression. Yet I have
recently begun to sense that such a perspective is
severely limited. Rather than the word “journey”
which embodies spiritual progression, I prefer the
word “unfolding” which embodies spiritual
awareness. To avoid making those unhealthy
comparisons, I must become aware of God’s
grace in every moment of the day.
Indeed, to compare my spiritual life to another
soul’s is not only a waste of time and energy, it’s
sinful.
Consider Jesus’ description of the Pharisee and
the publican. The Pharisee thanked God that he
was not as wicked as other men. His self-satisfac
tion, however, became his own reward. The publi
can, so humbled by his own sinfulness, begged
God for mercy. The Pharisee compared himself
with others and found himself superior; the publi
can examined his own heart, found it wanting,
and mercy was his.
In contemplating my preoccupation with com
parisons, I had a small epiphany. It occurred to
me that God doesn’t see me in the linear way I
see myself. He doesn’t focus solely on the person
I am right now. Nor does he compare me to the
person I was five minutes ago. His perspective
extends infinitely beyond that. It is a panoramic
view, not a single snapshot. His love for me spans
from before I was conceived until eternity... a vast
perspective, far beyond my insight and imagina
tion. In light of such a perspective, I begin to
understand how foolish I am to judge my
progress.
When I become frustrated with myself, when I
seem not to measure up, I must remember that
measuring up is not required of me. When I seem
better than others, ahead of the game, I must
remember I’ve accomplished nothing on my own.
Self-doubt and pride blind me to the truth. Indeed,
only when I see myself as fully dependenton
God’s mercy and fully privileged to receive His
grace, do I discover the joy of being loved
beyond compare.
Mary Hood Hart lives with her husband and
four children in Sunset Beach, N.C.
Mary Hood Hart
Making Connections
To care for the world, stop
littering
By Father Michael H. Smith
any mothers will say they
spend a good bit of their time
at home picking up and cleaning up
what others have left a mess. Some
times it’s toys, others times it’s
clothes, or dishes to wash, a load of
clothes to run, a floor to vacuum or
mop, trash to be collected and taken
out. But to keep ourselves and our
homes clean we depend on many
more people than our mothers.
When kids are talking to parents
about what they want to do, parents
usually feel good to hear that their
offspring want to be doctors or
lawyers, teachers or nurses. But
what if one of the kids said, “I want
to be a garbage collector.” We look
on this as one of our dirtiest and
least desirable jobs.
But what happens in our congest
ed urban areas if the trash collectors
go out on strike? Very quickly our
streets become overwhelmed and we
discover how dependent we are on
these workers we
not only take for
granted but even
look down on. It is
a job that has to be
done, every day.
We often tend to
complain about
plumbers when
they are difficult to
get, or when we get
the bill. But how
long can we last
without running
water?
We can put off
bathing for a while.
We can bring in some water for
drinking and cooking. But how long
can we go without flushing the toilet
and haying sewage systems that do
the job? Our personal hygiene
depends not just on our household
water systems, but on a vast number
of scientists, engineers and workers
who research sources and methods
to provide us with
abundant clean
water, and get it to
all the many places
where it is needed.
In the second half
of this century we
have become
increasingly aware
of the condition of
our global environ
ment. We know we
^ can no longer use
E the water and air
-O
§ heedlessly.
We are learning
to take care of these
inexpensive but precious resources
without which life cannot exist. As
we search for life on other planets
key signs are the presence of water
and atmosphere.
For me, at least, “ecology” is a
new word that embodies these many
and varied concerns about the future
of our environment .Thank God we
have had some great pioneers in this
field and now have many fine young
people interested in this as a major
in college and their life’s work.
Sometimes these concerns can
seem a little beyond our immediate
experience. But there is one aspect
where all of us can help: “Stop lit
tering!” No one likes seeing all the
trash on our streets and high tys,
but it does not get there by itself.
Whenever I see people throwing
trash from their cars, I wish I had a
way to blow out their tires and to
make them clean up their mess.
This is a small area of life, but to
me a concrete and important way in
which we can carry out our God-
given responsibility to care for this
beautiful world we have been given
as our earthly home.
Father Michael H. Smith, V.F., is pastor
of Holy Redeemer Parish, McRae, and
Saint Mark, Eastman.
,——>
Father Michael H. Smith