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Thursday, March 16, 2000
The Southern Cross, Page 5
Everyday Graces
Making each moment a prayer
W hen my two sons, Charlie and Jimmy,
were ages 6 and 8,1 taught them
the prayer of Saint Francis. Each night
as they settled down to sleep, the
three of us would say the prayer
together. The first night, I took time
to explain the prayer in words they
could understand, and they seemed to
have a good idea of its meaning. Days
later, after much repetition, the boys
were proud to have memorized the
prayer perfectly.
Shortly after they learned to recite the prayer,
when we prayed, only 6-year-old Charlie would
join in. Jimmy remained silent. Jimmy’s silence
never bothered me; I assumed he was tired or
distracted. I didn’t want to force him to join us.
Finally, however, after enduring several nights of
Jimmy’s silence, when the prayer was finished,
Charlie piped up: “Jimmy, you’ve got to start
saying the prayer. You haven’t said it since
Saturday.” Without hesitating, Jimmy responded:
“Sometimes I don’t say it. I just feel it.”
This Lent, like Jimmy, I’ve been trying to feel
my prayers. In the past, my prayer life has been
less than ideal. I’ve attributed its weakness to a
busy life with young children in the house.
Finding time for prayer in the midst of a chaotic
household seemed a near impossibility. Now,
however, with all my children in school, I have
more time for prayer, and, because I have fewer
good excuses for it, the weakness in my prayer
life becomes more apparent.
Even though I now have time to say more
prayers, I’ve discovered that saying
prayers doesn’t necessarily constitute a
prayerful life. I’m ashamed to admit
the number of times I’ve unsuccess
fully switched roles from irritated
mother to prayer leader. My children
will tell you that on nights I have
trouble settling them down, the irrita
tion in my voice isn’t diminished even as
I lead them in the Our Father. And
heaven forbid if one of them should
interrupt the prayer to ask to use the bathroom. On
such evenings, my prayerful words and my testy
attitude are inconsistent, to say the least.
In order for my life and attitude to reflect the
fruits of prayer, then, I am learning to pay less
attention to the quantity and form of prayer and
to emphasize the spirit in which I approach
prayer. As I become more aware of that spirit,
I’ve discovered that prayerful moments are plen
tiful and can occur just about any time and any
place—even in the midst of a busy household.
Perhaps more important than tuning out the
world to pray is tuning in to God’s presence in
everyday life.
I’ve tried to live each day more prayerfully by
noticing all that he shows me at any hour of the
day. This morning, as I drove up to the elementary
school to drop my daughter off, I observed a
brother and sister approaching the school entrance.
The sister gently placed her arm around the shoul
ders of her small brother. Together they entered the
school. In that image, I discovered a prayer.
Occasionally, in the tidai marsh behind our
home, a solitary white swan appears, as if from
nowhere. Though the swan has appeared several
times, I can never anticipate its arrival and I
never fail to become awestruck by its graceful
beauty. Recently the swan arrived on a rainy
afternoon, and as I watched it floating on the
marsh, the rain clouds shifted, and in the emerg
ing sunlight, a brilliant rainbow appeared, fram
ing the image of the white swan on the water. I
called my children, and in that remarkable scene,
we discovered a prayer.
Several months ago, Father Donald Joyce,
OMI, from San Antonio, Texas, conducted a
mission at our parish. In one of his talks, Father
Joyce mentioned that if we stop to reflect on the
Lord’s Prayer, the first two words alone, “Our
Father,” offer us much to contemplate. Those
two words inspire us to consider what it means
to accept the gift and the challenge to live as
brothers and sisters in Christ, never doubting that
we are all deeply loved.
I’ve discovered that during Lent, or any time,
saying more prayers won’t necessarily bring me
closer to God.
Yet when I simply open my eyes, my ears, my
heart to his presence, each moment becomes a
prayer, each encounter an opportunity for grace.
Mary Hood Hart lives with her husband and
four children in Sunset Beach, N.C.
Mary Hood Hart
Letters
601 E. Liberty St.
Savannah, GA
31401-5196
On Weddings
Dear Editor,
Over the years the Catholic
Church has made great strides in its
education and counseling of couples
seeking the sacrament of marriage
within the Church. There is still a
need, however, for serious discus
sion concerning the musical ele
ments of the celebration. As a musi
cian I witness on a weekly basis
evidence of ignorance; this igno
rance is most noticeable through the
choices made (and allowed to be
made) by the families involved. It is
obvious that the families are not
receiving (or being made to receive)
the counseling they need to make
informed and correct choices. For
example, very often the bride
chooses a family member or friend
to sing at the wedding, sometimes
out of a genuine desire to have this
person participate in the ceremony
but more often than not as a cost
cutting measure. While I agree
wholeheartedly that those who love
us ought to be present, I am not
sure that the soloists chosen are
always the best people for such an
important task. Often these people
know nothing of liturgy and fre
quently do not even read music. I
know every organist in the city has
horror stories to tell of spending
tortuous hours trying to teach
Schubert’s Ave Maria (a much more
difficult piece than most people
realize) to girls with nice voices but
no experience. The best outcome of
such an experience is an over
worked, underpaid, and terribly
stressed organist who only through
sheer determination manages to
make the singer sound good; a
worst-case scenario involves an
assembly that spends its time pray
ing for the soloist rather than the
bride and groom!
In most communities when an
alternate organist is brought in, the
family must pay a bench fee to the
parish organist. I would like to
encourage pastors, musicians, wed
ding coordinators, and parish coun
cils to work together to put in place
a similar system to handle vocal
soloists (maybe the money could be
split with some going to the organ
ist to cover the inevitable extra
rehearsals). The group could create
a list of approved soloists, men and
women of various voice types but
all with liturgical training and expe
rience. Perhaps, to go a step further,
a mentoring program could be set
up pairing younger singers with
more experienced musicians. As a
singer and liturgical musician I
spend many hours counseling cou
ples who are planning their wed
ding liturgies. I work very hard for
the small amount I charge, and I do
my best to make sure that from a
musical standpoint the ceremony is
both beautiful and liturgically cor
rect. It would be nice if I could say
that all couples in our Diocese
receive the care and counseling they
need, but the fact is it just isn’t hap
pening.
I would like to suggest some
thing that may seem radical to
some: the music at a wedding, as
with any liturgy, is not entertain
ment. It is prayer, and should be
treated as such. A couple would
never even consider bringing in an
untrained musician to play the
organ, piano, or guitar at their
wedding; why should they be
encouraged to have someone
untrained proclaim the Word of
FAX: (912) 238-2339
E-mail: j
DClark5735@aol.com !
j
God musically? I use the word
“encourage” because, as long as
there is no clear policy stating oth
erwise, the leaders of the commu
nity (and I don’t mean the pastors
only!) are the ones who are unwit
tingly encouraging the triviality of
the celebration.
I would also like to suggest that
perhaps it would be appropriate for
The Southern Cross to run a series
of articles on weddings. Such a
series could include information
about current and past trends as
well as general etiquette for the
treatment of clergy, musicians,
wedding coordinators, and anyone
else involved in the logistics of the
typical wedding celebration.
Finally, I urge anyone involved
with liturgy in any way to read (or
re-read if it has been a while) the
music documents from the
Bishops’ Committee on the Liturgy
and the National Conference of
Catholic Bishops, Music in
Catholic Worship and Liturgical
Music Today, I promise you it will
be a real eye-opener.
Stacie O’Connor
Savannah