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Thursday, April 6, 2000 The Southern Cross, Page 5 Everyday Graces Service without a smile O ne night, I took my three younger chil dren for ice cream. It was after nine o’clock, a little late, but nothing out of the ordinary in a resort area like ours. We chose a shop that’s part of a large chain. It was well-lighted and through the windows we could see about a dozen patrons inside. As we approached the entrance, a young man, an employee of the store, hurried to the front door. Before we could try the knob, without making eye contact or offering a word of explanation, the employee bolted the door. Stunned, the kids and I stood outside the door waiting for an explanation, but the employee ignored us. A patron who wit nessed the scene approached the employee to urge him to let us in, with no success. While I’ve grown accustomed to a lower stan dard of customer service in many areas of life, I was taken aback by this level of rudeness. Driving to a second ice cream shop, the kids and I rehashed the situation. There were no clues the shop was closed or even due to close soon. It was bustling with customers, and even the large, neon “Open” sign was lit. I decided to write a letter to the manager, the owner, perhaps even the chain’s CEO. The kids and I were indignant. But later that evening, a conversation with my oldest child, Katie, then 15, tempered my indignation and helped me gain perspective. Katie had a summer job serving ice cream and fudge at a tourist shop, a block from the beach. I was driving her home from work that same evening when I launched into my tirade about the young clerk’s rude behavior. Expecting Katie to assure me that she would never treat a customer so rudely, I heard her wearily remark: “He shouldn’t have locked the door in your face that way. But when it’s closing time, even one scoop of ice cream can be too much.” Suddenly I was able to see the situa tion in a new light. Yes, the clerk’s people skills left a lot to be desired. No, he shouldn’t have handled the situation as he did. But through Katie’s eyes, I could be more forgiving of his mistake. She went on to tell me how much empathy she’s gained for people in service jobs. And, seeing her at the end of the night, exhaust ed from working a 12-hour shift and sticky to her shoulders from dipping ice cream, I started to feel more understanding, too. It’s been a long, long time since I worked a minimum wage job. I’ve forgotten what it’s like. Yes, many servers are inadequately trained, sullen, even lazy. I’ve heard many horror stories about how difficult it is to hire reliable, hard working employees. And I am convinced these employers have valid complaints. But there’s also another side to the story, another side of the counter. And now that my daughter’s experi enced life on that other side, I am trying to be more patient. Knowing Katie is personable and hardworking—but not perfect—I’m hoping employers and customers will be patient with Katie when she makes mistakes. Even the hardest workers have bad days. They get confused, flustered, tired. Even a clerk with a sullen attitude can be softened when approached with a little good humor, an enthusiastic greet ing, courtesy. As customers, we must never lose sight of a server’s humanity, dignity. When I really think about it, I’m sure I’ve witnessed more instances when customers have behaved rudely than the other way around. Indeed, people in the service industry deserve a lot of credit for graciously tolerating boorish behavior. And the majority of them work long and hard for low wages. While that fact doesn’t excuse poor ser vice and a bad attitude, it makes such problems easier to understand. Years ago, I ate lunch at a fast food chain with my friend, Sister Jane Claire Simon. Before eat ing, Sister Jane Claire said the blessing, includ ing a prayer of gratitude for those workers who had prepared and served us our food. I was struck by the simple beauty of that prayer. To be mindful of and grateful for those who serve us, even in the most mundane settings, is indeed a basic practice of our faith. Yet it is a practice too easily overlooked as we hurry through our lives. Mary Hood Hart lives with her husband and four children in Sunset Beach, N.C. Mary Hood Hart Q uestion: It is my understand ing that neither the pope nor a council has formally defined Mary, Mother of God, as Co-redemptress, Mediatrix and Advocate of the People of God. Can you clarify that this refusal to define these titles means? —Jeff Morris A nswer: The titles proposed belong properly to Jesus Christ (“Redeemer,” “Mediator,” the “Advocate who always pleads our cause”) and to the Holy Spirit (“another Advocate”). Although the Virgin Mary has been invoked by similar titles through a process of analogy, the Church judges it inop portune to define them, for “no creature could ever be counted along with the Incarnate Word and Redeemer” (Lumen Gentium) or with the Holy Spirit. Pope John Paul has reaffirmed the Second Vatican Council’s treatment of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the context of her Son and his Church: “Only in the mystery of Christ is her mys tery made clear”; the pope adds in the encyclical Redemptoris Mater that the reality of Christ’s Incar nation “finds a sort of extension in Questions the mystery of the Church — the Body of Christ.” In his letter Marialis Cultus, Pope Paul VI wrote of the Solemnity of the Annunciation (March 25) as the “commemoration of the salvific fiaf [“be it done to me according to your word”] of the Incarnate Word, who, entering the world, said: ‘God, here I am! I am coming to obey your will’” (see Hebrews 10:7). With regard to Mary, Pope Paul points out that the liturgy celebrates the Annunciation “as a feast of the new Eve, the obedient and faithful who, with her generous 'fiat' became through the working of the Spirit the Mother of God, but also the true Mother of the living, and, by receiving into her womb the one Mediator, became the true Ark of the Covenant and the true Temple of God.” Here Pope Paul quotes Saint Paul (1 Timothy 2:5). Mary’s fiat echoes that of God’s eternal Son, the one Mediator between God and man. As Pope John Paul has affirmed: “The maternal role of Mary towards peo ple in no way obscures or diminish es the unique mediation of Christ, but rather shows its power”; it is mediation in Christ. & Answers As Christ’s first disciple, Mary’s response in faith to God’s choice or election, expressed at the Annun ciation, “Be it done to me according to your word,” is a model for the response of all believers. The grace that enabled her to make this response (her Immaculate Conception) is also available to all through faith and baptism. God called her to bear Christ into the world as the “God-bearer.” So to believers are called to bear him into their worlds as “God-bearers.” Mary became the Mother of the Redeemer because of the overshad owing of the Holy Spirit, to which she consented. The annunciation account in Luke keeps us from con centrating on Mary’s fiat, for it emphasizes the role of the Holy Spirit, not only in overshadowing her, but in gracing her in the first place to enable her to say “yes” to God’s call. Mary may thus be con sidered as “Spouse of the Spirit.” But Pope Paul VI sought to avoid any “detour” of Catholic piety from the Spirit to Mary in a letter to Leo Cardinal Suenens, on May 13, 1975: “We must believe that the action of the Mother of the Church, to the benefit of the redeemed, nei ther substitutes for nor rivals the all-powerful and universal action of the Holy Spirit, but rather implores and prepares for it, not only with the prayer of intercession [...], but also with the direct influ ence of example, including most importantly the greatest docility to the inspiration of the divine Spirit." From Saint John’s Gospel, we know that Mary can never take the place of the Holy Spirit, the other Advocate promised by Christ to his disciples, but she can be seen as an “icon of the Holy Spirit,” as “the instrument and locus of the mani festation of the Spirit” and as the “Spirit-bearer” par excellence of the Spirit of God. When she is seen in relationship to the Spirit as well as to the Son, Mary is revealed also as faithful daughter of the Father. Related theologically to the three divine persons, Mary, foremost member of the communion of saints, is revered as Mother of the Church, which is the People of God, Body of Christ and Temple of the Spirit. As such she is not only an example but also a companion in prayer of the Church on pilgrimage throughout the earth. — DKC