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to obtain peace with Cod. Ii seemed to be all in vain. I cuulraued in this condition tor two years, at times m great distress, and at other limes in my fun and folly, trying to throw off these bad, dis tressed fee 1 11 gs, thinking they were perhaps imag inary ; that 1 was too \oui g to be pestered on this subject, and it was still time enough for me to get religion. About tins time I heaul Eld.R. T. Webb preach on the doctrine of Election, f real I v thought it was a bad chance, for I had been tryiny to save myself ana he sra£l Guu had chosen his people in Ghrist before the foundation of the world. I then thought that it was a hard case that only a part should be saved and a part lost, and I would give up trying any more, that il I was chosen, 1 would be saved, and il not, l would be lost. In trying thus to fret against God because his plan of salvation was not as I had thought, and in trying to throw off my impressions, the L >rd seemed to leave mto my hardened condition. Sometimes I thought surely I Was the most hard-hearted per son that ever lived. When I would see persons crying under the preaching of the gospel or the administration of the ordinances, it would have a tendency to harden my heart. Last summer was £ year ago at the yearly meeting at Providence, they had a warm meeting. Alter feet, washing was over prayer was offered, in which mv father and mother, brother and sisters all participated with apparent feeling. It had notff.d on me, I thought it was all nonsense, My mother said to me, “My daughter, don’t you think you have a soul to be sav ed, or is your heart seared with a hot iron ?” This, you know, touched my sympathies. At times I was in great trouble, and in 1859, (last year.); I humbly hope it pleased God to open my blinded eyes and show me more fully the danger I was in. Let not my carnal friends be discouraged, for God is able to humble all such. Mv true condition was opened more fully to view. Wnat to do I did not know. I tried nay poor prayers, read the Scriptures, but no relief could l find. On the 2nd Sunday in Sept, last, I went to meeting at Providence. I had been in great distress for several days previous, and my prayer was that I might go to meeting with a hearing ear and an understanding heart, and I sometimes hope God did grant ray desire that day. Eld. W. M. Mitchell preached from these words, “And a certain man was there which had an infir mity thirty and eight years: when Jesus saw him lie and knew that he had been now a long time rn that case, he saith unto him wilt thou be made whole ? n He dwelt mostly on the concluding words,“ Wilt thou be made whole?” John v. 5, 6. The very text seemed to suit my case. I thougnt surely some person had told him all about mv condition, for it seemed that every word he preached was directed to me. I had often before been to meeting and I thought I beard good preaching, but I never heard such as this. I will say that Bro. Mitchell preached the first sermon I ever understood in my life. After preach ing, be selected this hymn to sing, “Come humble sinner in whose breast, A thousand thoughts revolve,” S 01) Tiliilt JN BAPTIST MESSiSJNGEK. This also seemed to reach my heart. Prayei was offered in-conclusion I was in great agony, 1 raised my head aud. saw the minister standing oi the floor, and the first thing I knew I was begging him to pray for me. lie said he would, and hop u that God would- have mercy on me. I went? horn with a heavy heart trying contiuully to pray, for 1 saw I was lost and justly condemned before a ju> and- holy God. I continued to see inv condition a:- being worse and worse daily. I would lead the Scriptures for comfort, for 1 had heard people say the Scriptures gave them great comfort. I woulu think 1 had not opened the t> >ok at the right plac> for instead of comforting me, they condemned me. I now saw plainly that my own works, cries and tears could nut save pour me, 1 had tiied much foi • edef but found none. Sometimes I would think l had no friends in earth or heaven, and I would never again try to pray. But Omy dear brethren and sisters, I might as well* have tried to dan straws against ilio whirlwind, or be at ease in the fire, as to forget to plead tor mercy. I had once thought I was as good as any person, but uow ii seemed surely f was the meanest wietch on earth. I lelt that I was willing to humble myself to the dust of the earth. I craved to be a chiidiao, but feared I never should be. Often have I felt a wil lingness to be afflicted from the crown of the head to the sole of the te-t, if l could only be a Christian. 1 have looked at the bru'e creation and wished I had been one of them. On the 2'5-h of October Inst B rose from my bed feeling rather worse than usual. Town ds evening 1 began to think there mu>t be some fatal bodily disease approaching, and B should s(*ou die, and’ hell was my doom. I plead lor mercy. As I went lo my room B fell so heavily burdened I could scarcely walk. I fell upon my bed to try to sleep but could not. Just before sunset I walked out to the wood-pile lamenting my case, when suddenly these words rail through my mind wiih great force— “ Look, ye sinners, ye that hung Him, Look, how deep your sins have stung Him, Dying sinners, look and live.” My condition become miserable beyond the pow er of language to express. I soon found myself on the ground crying tor mercy. I retired to pray in secret, but to no profit. I went to my mother’s room to try to enjoy myself with the family, but there was no enjoyment for me. Returning to my room I fell upon my knees in prayer. After la menting my awful doom I retired to rest and fell asleep, when these blessed words of comfort were spoken to me, “ Fear not I am with thee, 0 be not dismayed, I am thy God and will give thee aid.” This awoke me, and I repeated the words over twice, I felt easy and agaiu went to sleep. Next morning I arose with anew song in my mouth.— I felt new and everything around me looked new. I was so rejoiced I could not stay in the house. I walked bebrnd the garden to pray and I could not refrain from praising God for his great goodness. Still there were two days I could not believe mv .-ins were pardoned, I bad fears and doubts that I had not been burdened enough; I prayed for my ourden again that I might know where it v But when 1 was made to believe, the love of tilled my soul, my heart was glad and I was ena >led to piaise, adore and rejoice in him with joy unspeakable and full of glory. All creation looked >*-auuful and seemed to join*- with me to praise God. Il ever I shouted it was then. For the first “me I now could see how God could save sinners n aDd through Christ w*o had died for them. My roubles were gone, and I thought I never should >ee any more distress. I wanted to tell everybody a hat great things the Lord had done for me ; but Before night my mind become s mewliat datk, and i began to fear ibat all I had passed through was maginatton. .In a few days I talked with my mother and one of the Deacons of the church, and ids wife. They gave me some comfort, and ad vised me to go to the Church. Soon however, I had tears I was deceived, and had deceived that good people. I felt sorry 1 had said anything about ii, but before the church meeting came on my darkness turned 1 into light, and I desired to see the day come. I loved the Lord because he first loved me. I desired to be baptized. On Satuiday before the 2d Sunday in Nov. last, my brother in-law, our aged sister Brown and myself related to the Church at Providence what we hoped the Lord had done for us, and we were heartily received, and the next day (a very cold day,) we were baptized by Eld. W. M. Muehell. It was truly a pleasant day to me. One month after I had the p’easure of seeing my brother and sister led into the water and bap tized by the same minister, and I live in hope that I shall see more come soon. I have had inanv * joyful mo men is ai.d many doubts and fears since. I>-ar brethren and sisteis, we ought to bear our trials with great patience. Jesus is our friend and will still remain so, and we can n v. j r meet with more trials than he has, and his grace is sufficient for all our need. I delight to read the communi cations of brethren and sisters in the Messenger. I am made to njoice that we are led by the same Spirit and can speak the same language. Though fears sometimes arise that 1 atn not one of the Lord’s people. But we know we have passed from death unto life because we love the brethren. If there is any people in the world that I love it is God’s people who manifest the Spirit of Jesus, though I fear thev cannot love me, “ For I am imperfect and cannot do good, Sin is present with me when freely I would.” I must conclude as I fear I have wearied you. Bro. Beebe, do with this as you think best. I de sire your prayers and also the prayers of the breth ren and sisters, that I may live up to my duty and profession as a Christian and follow Jesus in the way. Unworthy as I feel, I desire to be with the people of God, and that I may never bring a re proach upon the cause of Christ. 1 have now given you a reason of the hope that is in me with meekness and fear. May the Lord be with his poor and afflicted people in every time of need is the prayer of your unworthy sister in hope of eternal life. SERENA L. PARKER.