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146 Near Weston, Platte co., Mo., ) Sept. 15,1860. j Pear Brethren Beebe andPurington —1 have a small remittance to make to you, and I have con cluded to accompany it with a few lines, as I have never written anything for the Southern Baptist Messenger, which you can dispose of as you think best, and all will be right. As an introduction I will try to give you a synopsis of the reason of the hope that is within me ; for in order that professors of religion may become acquainted with each oth er, it is indispensably necessary that they pronounce Shibboleth , or give a relation of that internal work of grace, in the absence of which, we are like the, foolish virgins, who have only the lamp of profes sion, while destitute of the oil of grace in the heart. I feel to ask secretly in my heart, if not openly and publicly, every one who professes the religion of the Lord Jesus Christ, “To give a reason of the hope that is within them, with meekness and fear.” And if they have a good hope through graco, it creates a hope for each other that the world knows nothing about. I was raised up quite a moral youth ; my mother became an Old School Baptist before I could recollect; my Father was not a pro fessor of religion. I did not go to that excess of wickedness in overtacts that some young men do. I did not use profane language, and was taught honesty, industry and morality by my parents; they did not try to teach tne.flsligion as the Ar minian world are trying to teach the unregenerate. I was very fond of what is called civil mirth. I viewed myself a sinner, but did not think I was a very bad one. I did not think that my sins were very odious either \n the sight of God or man; that they were of a trifling character; that religion was a something that was very necessary to have tp die upon, but it wcurtd noUdoto live hpon ; thaflf it was very well adapted to old age, but not to youth, and I intended to try to get it before I died, and that I thought I could do very easy, I attend ed at places of religious worship, mostly Baptist and Old School Presbyterians; at that time there was very little division among Baptists; I trie 1 to behave myself as well as I oould when at meeting; but I did not feel that I was personally and indi vidually interested in any preaching that I heard ; was disposed to give it all to others. I went to meeting merely to see and be seen. At length when I was in my 19th year there Was some ex citement upon the subject of religion among the Baptists; there was a night meeting appointed near my father’s by the Old Baptist preacher who had the care of a church in the neighborhood ; to this meeting I went, in company with my oldest broth er, and perhaps some others of the family, and I went as careless and unconcerned as usual, with the exception that I had a little more curiosity in go ing than common, learning that there was some stir upon the subject of religion. At the close of the meeting the old preacher called upon my oldest brother publicly to come forward and give a rela tion of his hope in Christ; for he had conversed with him, and believed that it was his duty to iden tify himself with the people of God ; so soon as the call was made upon my brother by the old Father SOUTHERN BAPTIST MESSENGER. | in the ministry, in a moment it seemed to me that I felt the force of an irresistible call, not by the old preacher, but by a higher power. I then felt as I never felt before ; I then saw as I never saw before; I no longer felt that I should be an idle spectator at places of religious worship ; 1 felt then that I was personally, individually, specially and particularly interested. I then asked myself the question, or it was asked by a higher power, why should I not be concerned about my salvation as well as my brother, that I was to be saved or lost as well as he ; that there was not a very great con trast in our age, and why should not the old Fath er be concerned about me as well as him ? The Great Shepherd of Israel calls his own sheep by name; they hear his voice, and he gives unto them eternal life; it is a heavenly calling; it is a high calling; it is a holy calling and it is an effectual calling. It then appeared to me that I was as one that had been dreaming all my life time before, that I had just awaked out of a deep sleep, yea a sleep of death in trespasses aud sins; that notwith standing I had been a moral youth, but now that my heart was opened, and I had gotten a peep into the dark cabinet within, it appeared like a cage of unclean birds ; that I had a heart that was de ceitful and desperately wicked above ail things, who can know ii? Then I began to cry Lord what wilt thou have me to do. 1 weut home from meet ing that night, and before I retired for rest, but there was very little rest for me, I went out some distance from the house, not known to any mem ber of the familyq and got down on my knees for the first time, in secret, in my life to try to pray to the Lord to have mercy on me, and all that I could say was, Lord have mercy on me a poor, guilty, hell-deserving sinner. But it was ‘not long befor£ the great enemy of souls began to suggest as he had done before, that it was time enough yet for me to seek the favor of God ; that if I were to em brace religion then, that I would shut myself ont from the enjoyment of the society of all my young associates. 1 tried to banish those serious impres sions that I had had on the subject of religion by going into lively company, and at length they did seem to wear off, and I became quite careless again on the subject, but he that begius a good work in his people will perform unto the day of Jesus Christ* I recollect ot going to meeting one Sunday even ing to hear an Old School Presbyterian preacher preach, when he look this for his text, “ How shall we escape if we neglect so great salvation ?” It came home to me with irresistible force, that I had been neglecting this great salvation by trying to banish those serious impressions on the subject; and bow shall I escape? Riding along home, the language of the Poet bore with weight on my mind, “ That awful day will surely come, The appointed hour makes haste, When I must stand before my Judge, And pass the solemn test,” &c. Whenever the thought would occur that it was time enough yet, it was arrested and driven away by this Scripture, “ Now is the accepted time : now is the day of salvation ; to day, if ye will hear his voice harden not your hearts.” From that time I never found peace until, as I trust, I found it in the peace speaking blood of Immanuel. I ofteu tried to pray to the L jrd to have mercy upon me, but I thought that I was such a vile sinner that He would not hear rny prayers, and in-tead of my burthen of sin aud guilt becoming lighter, after my frequent attempts to try to pray, it became heavier. I was pressed down beneath a load of sin and guilt; though I tried to be as cheerful as I could when I came into the presence of the family, for I did not want anybody to know that I was concerned on the subject of religion. k I could no find comfojt from any thing that I could do or think of. “ I could not satisfy the law, Nor hope nor comfort from it draw.” I took up the Bible one day to read, hoping that I mio-ht find some thing there that would relieve my mind, but the first verse that my eyes caught upon was the language of the Prophet Jeremiah to the children of Israel, “Therefore, I am full of thefury Lord, I am weary with holding in, 1 wiil pour it out on the children abroad, and upon the assembly of young men together.” Every word and line seemed to seal my condemnation. I felt like it would be just in God to cut me oft and banish me from his peaceful presence,'and from the glory of his power forever ; but the language of my heart was, if mercy can be vented, Lord let it flow to one of the vilest of the vile. I concluded that I would die a beggar at a throne of grace, even if lie should ultimately spurn mo from his peaceful presence. — At length, one day when l was alone, (yet not alone, for I hope the soul-cheering presence of the Lord was with me,) in the corn-crib, shelling corn, I got down on my knees once more to try to beg the Lord to have mercy on me, and just as I arose from my knees, I heard a still small voice saying, “ I am your Savior, come, rejoice, I bore your sins upon the cross.” O ! my brethren, language is too lame to express that ecstacy with which I was then filled. “ Tongue cannot express The sweet comfort and peace, Os a soul in its earliest love.” My harp was then taken down from the willow*, and I began at the commencement of the hyma and sung it through. I felt like I was in anew world. All creation looked new to me and ap peared to please God. “ Therefore, if any man bo in Christ, he is anew creature, old things are pass ed away, behold all things are become new.” I then thought that I was anew creature in body, soul and spirit; but it was not long before I found that I was mistaken. Dear brethren, I must close my communication for the present, and perhaps re sume it at some future period. Yours in the bonds of Christian affection, P. J. BURRUSa Newton Cos., Ga., Sept. 15, 1860. Brethren Editors —I again send you a few lines to dispose of as you think best. It is declar ed by inspiration that they that feared the Lord spake often one to another, and that the Lord heard them. We of modern times can speak often one to another through the Messenger, and I sometimes feel a desire to speak to the brethren and sisters through this medium, and if I am not deceived in