Newspaper Page Text
MARCH, 1969
THE PANTHER
Page 8
Grapevine
Some of the co-ed dorms have
a new tenant. The person’s
initials are the twenty-first
and the fourth letters in the
alphabet.
The Sigma Gamma Rhos are
determined to make it big.
The Alpha Phi Omegas think
they have already.
Some co-ed “cheese-eaters”
do more than just eat cheese.
Brownites have a deep-seeded
hate for Clarkites and vice-
versa.
The newly appointed chairman of
a certain department has A’s
and B’s for girls who please
him.
The playboy of our campus world
is starting on off-campus
women.
Most Clark women look else
where for the serious men in
their lives. They’re growing
tired of their men romancing
them and their best friends
too!
As coats come off with the on
coming warm weather, growths
will be seen on more than
some co-ed’s bosoms.
Some of the guys in one of the
men’s dorms are going through
biological and emotional chan
ges which makes the male
dorm seem to be co-ed.
The trees around campus are
used for more than just
scenery.
Sleeping out, partying, and pot
are becoming very accep
table; but only with the
“IN-CROWD”.
The red-hot off-campus parties
attract more non-student mem
bers of the “Clark College
Camily” than students lately.
Some students are still having
their week-end and love-
ins. GROOVY!
The Sigma senior that dates
the Zeta junior is married.
The newspaper was plagued by
a trouble-making tool of the
administration, initials J.A.
A certain fraternity queen laid
out overnite and had the auda
city to step back on campus
with her ball-gown still on
- 3 days later.
The majority of our folk tell
their own biz by telling some
one who tells someone who tells
someone who tells someone who
tells someone
An episode occurred where a
“gay” turned out not to be,
to the surprise of his coed
companion.
The rut most of the upper
classmen are in - many are
flying their flags in mostly re
quired-for-major classes.
The way our fratenities and
sororities were doing their
“thang”-like cracking legs,
twisting arms, crippling pled
ges, blooding noses, slapping
faces. Look out folk-the bro
ther has gone wild.
The new morality is really
not so new. It’s just not as
secretive.
Roving Reporter: Opinion Poll
LILLIAN ANDREWS
JOKES
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A MALE/FEMALE CO-ED DORM- *
ITORY TYPE SITUATION?
1. I think if the relationship is such that it saves money, I’m
all for it. The couples can live together on the same basis as
two of the same sex without engaging in anything other than econ
omic ventures that will enable both of them to stay in school.
I don’t think anything at all of a couple who live together because
they feel the institution of marriage is outdated.
Freshman - Linda Freeman
2. I would enjoy it. When the guy goes out, maybe to be dis
appointed, the girl is always there at home. The best things in
life are free you know.
Senior - Charles L. Walker
3. If the two people want to, its o.k. I think society will play
a negative role, but it should change rather than the relationship
between the two people. There are no stipulations to my belief -
it’s free on demand.
Junior - Barbara Boone
4. I’m for it. There will be dondemnations about it, but so is
everything else that is against the norms of society.
Senior - Jeremiah Waldon
5. Nothing wrong with that!
Junior - William Owens
6. I think it’s nice, practical, and economical. Sex attitudes
depend on the couple.
Sophomore - John Hughey
7. I think that living in a co-ed dormitory is just fine because
of the close relationship the two sexes could make.
Junior - Pat Cheatham
8. It is of my opinion that along with the changing times, ideas
too are innovated. The idea of two persons living together, whe
ther of the same sex or not, is conceivable depending on the per
sons and the circumstances. If an understanding is reached by
the effected parties and both willingly consent, I see nothing mor
ally wrong.
Junior - C. L. Smith
1. Wife: “I could have married a dozen men better than you.”
Husband: “....and now I have to suffer for your lack of good judg
ment.”
2. Nobody ever gives the groom a shower. Of course not - he is all
washed up anyway.
3. The gentleman walked briskly into the drug store, went over to
the pharmacist and said, “I would like a box of Sex-Lax.”
The pharmacist smiled and replied, “you mean Ex-Lax don’t
you?”
“No,” the man insisted, “I don’t have trouble going,”
4. Policeman to driver going the wrong way down a one way street:
“Hey, where do you think you’re going?”
Driver: “I don’t know, but I must be late - everybody is coming
back.”
5. The wealthy Texan’s son look worried. “I’m in bad trouble, pa,”
he said.
“A pregnant girl?” asked the father. “Here’s $2,000 — that should
satisfy her.”
It’s worse than that, pa” the youth moaned.
“Smash up your Cadilac, son? Here’s $7,000, to get yourself another
one.”
“It’s not that kind of trouble, pa. The fact is, I’m afraid I’m turning
homosexual.”
The Texan thought for a moment. “Hell, Son, is that all? Well,
why don’t you try it for a month or two? Then, if you still feel the
same, I’ll buy you a boys camp.”
6. A worker for the city had been shifted from one civic job to
another only to have the men complain to the foreman that they
couldn’t work around him because of his halitosis.
Finally, one of the foremen said:
“Listen, old man, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but the boys
refuse to work with you because of your bad breath.”
“Listen, Buddy” snorted the worker, “if you had to do what I had
to do to so many politicians to get this job, your breath would smell
THE Y.W.C.A. NEEDS YOU
The Young Women Christian Association (Y.W.C.A.) is an organiza
tion by which women and girls are able to come together and
severely, concentrate on those issues of our society which
directly,or primarily affect the female and her ability to
function in our society; and to help improve the principles
and teachers of Christ. We are now living in a society
which merits cause for an equal responsibility between
the females as well as males so that the changes
in our soc j e ty might be more relevant to the
conditions and situations that we are
faced with. The Y.W.C.A. welcome
too.”
7. Auntie: “... and what will you do, dear, when you are as bigas
your mother?”
Melisa: “Diet.”
8. Street trader: “Buy some holly for your wife, mister?”
Crusty Bachelor: “I haven’t got a wife!”
Street Trader: “Then buy a bunch to celebrate your luck.”
9. He was complaining to his friend that he was losing his manhood.
The friend suggested that he try eating rye bread everyday. He
He ran into a bakery and ordered $20 worth of poppy seed rye.
The baker said: “Twenty dollars worth? Why,It’ll get hard before
you eat it.”
“In that case,” he cried, “give me $50 yvorth!”
10. Pedro: “Father, I think I have commit big sin.”
Father: “Why, Pedro?”
Pedro: “I think I married my sister.”
Father: “No, no, Pedro, I’ve known you and Charlotta all your lives
and you ’are not related. What in the world ever gave you the
idea that you married your sister?”
Pedro: “Last night we undress in the nude for bed. She look at me
and say, “oh, brother!”
11. “My Charlie took out a life insurance policy for a hundred
thousand dollars, but it didn’t help him. He died anyway.”
<it flic micfQiro nf tpllinp- that redhead about
all young ladies who have new,
imaginative, plans for the
better-ment of the
Y.W.C.A.
Many honor students are “BIG
MICE.” Cheezy, aren’t they?
The guys at Brawley are more
pleased than anyone about the
elimination of the girls’ cur
few. Don’t ask why.
The Auroras had to learn to
hold their liquor.
The Ivies had been physically
attacked.
The pyramids aren’t as st
rong as they used to be.
The Arconians were being over
worked.
The lamps were a-all right.
The Scrollers were the men
with plans. (for good times)
The dogs were lonely but to
gether.
A hot young coed (freshman)
was seen in the company of
a faculty member (male) at
2 a. m. at the Bird Cage.
Most campus girls want a
Kappa, an Alpha, an Omega,
a Sigma, but mostly a man
period. Report to Merner,
Pfeiffer, Kresge, and Holmes
halls, all eligibles.
THY WILL BEE'
DONE
CASCO, MAINE (UP I; --
WILLIS D. ELDRIDGE, 52, died
Wednesday from a reaction to
a bee sting inflicted a short
while earlier as he chopped
wood at a Girls’ Camp on Lake
Crest.
Dr. Sidney Branson of South
Windham, a medical examiner,
said Eldridge was found un
conscious by a companion but
died before he could be taken
to a hospital. He was st'ing
on the lip.
- Clarmon Stone, 42, was stung
fatally by a bee while fishing
Monday.
Florence County Coroner Wil
liam T. Eaddy gave this ver
dict after an autopsy.
Eaddy said Stone, an auto
salesman at nearby Florence,
was at a pond near Pamplico
fishing with his father when he
complained a bee had stung
him under his arm.
He said he felt faint,
collapsed ;md died.
“What happened?”
“She turned it into chickenfeed.”
13. The judge came into morning court, sat down and fixed his eyes
on the motley collection of arrests the police had dragged in during
the night.
When he came to a flambuoyant, bleached blonde whose clothes
and makeup left no doubt as to her business, he said: “Haven’t I seen
you before?”
“Shhh, your Honor,” She whispered. “Someone might hear you.”
14. Some of the girls were seated on the porch of the clubhouse at
the golf course. Somehow, the locker room door was partly open
and the girls could not help but notice a nude man whose head and
shoulders were covered by a bath towel.
After studying the body, so to speak, one of the girls could not
help but say it wasn’t her husband.
A second girl gazed at the man and said, “No, it isn’t my husband
either.”
Then a third girl, who was a life-of-the-party type, shifted her
chair, peered intently at the masculine torso and blurted, “Why,
he isn’t even a member of the club!”
15. Lest ye forget children are a great comfort to adults in their old
age, even though they helped the adults reach it a lot quicker.
S.N.E.A. Student National Education Association.