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THE MAROON TIGER
PERSONAL DEFINITIONS AND IDEAS
Theo. M. Alexander, C. ’31
A man is no greater than his ability to win his bat
tles independently, and without fainting from his foes.
* * *
A wise man may be a cultural man, or a wise man
may be a fool.
Wisdom is to know a thing, but culture is to dignify
it.
* * *
Time goes on forever,
And the things we sometimes do
Make for us a mark
That we face our whole life through.
* * *
Life’s Game
It is when I lie down to sleep
That varied thoughts into my mind creep.
Some that make me happy;
Some that make me sad;
Some that make me wanna be good;
Others—I wanna be bad.
Rut Life’s shop window so full of gay displays
Makes it hard for one to choose
What through efforts he fain might win,
Or what’s ordained that he should lose.
Ah then!—Life is but a game;
And one can never tell,
“NOW I’LL TELL ONE”
Clarence S. Buggs
Johnnie: “Mamma show Rev. Brown your teeth.”
Mother: (Smiles embarrassingly).
Johnnie: “No, not like that, Mamma. Take ’em out.
You know how you can do.”
* * *
Young Man (caught for speeding) : “But Officers,
I’m a student in school.”
Officer: “Ignorance is no excuse!”—N. W. U.
* * -*
Young Man (deeply in love): “Say, Willie, get me
a lock of your sister’s hair and I’ll give you two-bits.”
Willie: “Aw, make it a buck and I’ll get the whole
thing. I know where she hangs it at night.”
# * *
Ever hear of the Scotchman who refused to send
his child to school, because she had to give attention?
* * *
Child: “Mamma, what is that statue doing under the
sink?”
Mother: “Sh-h-h! That’s the plumber.”
* * *
An Upper Classman walked up to a fellow and said,
“You look like an intelligent Freshman, I want you
to speak to your classmates of a meeting after dinner.”
Imagine his embarrassment when he was told that
his “fellow” was our new Professor of French.”
* * *
Judge: “So you are in trouble, eh, Johnnie?”
Johnnie: “Yes, your Honor, but how could I help it.
If you see your girl with another fellow, what would
How Fate has shaped his destiny
As to evil, indifferent or well.
THE CLASS OF 1933 COMES TO TOWN
Where is my key to the campus gate?
How do I join a frat?
Where does a chap matriculate?
Must I wear that funny hat?
Where do I buy my chapel seat?
How do I get some books?
Where in the world does a freshman eat?
Is the Dean as fierce as he looks?
Where do I play on the football team?
Are you sure this is fit to drink?
Where can I get some good ice cream?
So it’s here that one learns to think?
Where can I find the campus cop?
Should I use the library?
When does this sophomore hazing stop?
Will Prexy call on me?
Where can I have my laundry done?
Why can’t the new men smoke?
I don't play cards except in fun.
What happens when you’re broke?
Is there such a thing as the college jail?
Need a Tux for the social whirl?
Where can I send important mail ?
I’ve got to write my girl. H. A. L.
From the Conning Tower of the
New York World.
you do?”
Judge: “I would merely cut my girl’s acquaintance.”
Johnnie: “That’s just what I did, and believe me I
sure did cut him deep.”
* * *
BRAVE MOREHOUSE MEN
Flash to the right of them,
Hash to the left of them
Salty and Soddy!
Each struggling with a load,
Trying to pay twenty dollars’ board.
But straight to the stables strode.
Brave Student Body!
Hash made of everything,
Collar buttons and black shoe-strings;
Gracious how knotty!
They’re the finest in the Land,
None stopped nor stayed a hand,
But cleaned plates all spick and span,
Brave Student Body!
* » »
“Don’t try to ‘Sonny Boy’ me,” said the Sweet Young
Thing, as her boy friend tried to interest her into mov
ing from the sofa to his knee.—Judge.
* * *
A Frenchman asked if “Merry Christmas” was San
ta Claus’ grandmother.
* * *
Prodigal Son: “Well, Mother, I’ve come home to die.”
Mother, (no fool) : “You’re a liar, you came home
to FEAST!”
RsDit and TH'umor